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Whether you join us in the morning or at night, there's nothing better than a sober sunrise. We hope that you enjoy today's speaker. >> I was thinking of ways to introduce this gentleman next to me.

Um, I thought long and hard on it. You know, at first I thought I was going to bust his chops a little and call him Big Book Chadwick. Then he uh then he wears a button saying that.

And uh then I was going to I was going to, you know, introduce him as Don C. considering his uh preferences on anonymity in these rooms, but that wouldn't work. But the uh way that I do want to introduce him is I want to introduce him as a friend.

I want to introduce him as a as a person who cares about another alcoholic. When I first walked into these rooms, I was brand new and he gave me his time. And I know there's a lot of guys from the Keing Center here tonight.

He gives you his time also. He uh just said he's got 35 years and he continues to help the fellow alcoholic. You know, I I always get a lot of what he says in his comments and his leads, but I also get a lot out of what he does and what I I does.

He is a very very active alcoholic, recovering alcoholic. With that, I'll introduce Don Chadwick from Saturday Midmorn. >> They told me I need this microphone, and I don't think so.

Can you hear me in the back? Yeah. Okay.

Uh, you know, I warned the guys at Kaden Center Thursday morning when I did group. I said, "Don't go to Mary. They got the biggest jerk that ever walked through the doors of AA late and uh some of them showed up but themselves." About 6 months ago, I snapped on the radio just in time to hear a disc jockey say, "You'll never be a wealthy person until you have something money can't buy." And I jumped out of my chair because what's being offered in these rooms, money can't buy.

And I got two living brothers. One's an engineer has traveled the world considerable financial success. The other a scientist retired now considerable financial success.

I never finished the eighth grade and I don't have as much as I could have had, but I got a lot more than I ever dreamed I would have. You're not going to agree with what I say tonight. And if you talk to your sponsor after this meeting, they're going to tell you the guys are nuts.

Don't listen to it. And they told us a long time ago, learn to disagree agreeably. And they said, don't try to take the whole meeting home with you.

Try to take one little statement and you might hear with something in the comment but our minds are not capable of taking the whole meeting and hold. Take one little statement and somebody might get up and say something that means something. As John said, my name is Don Chap.

There's no doubt in my mind tonight I am an alcoholic. to clarify something with the new people, the younger people. Uh when they put us in treatment, they used to keep us on booze for 3 days.

And they had a booze called Cobbs Creek. And they had one thing in mind when they made Cobbs Creek to make your last drink the most miserable experience of your life. It was the world's worst taste in whiskey.

And I'm in Rosley Hall. It's my third day there. And the nurse came in with that glass of cops crink.

And she made the most stupid statement I ever heard in my life. She said, "I hope this is the last drink you ever take." And I laid in that bed and I said, "Why can't these people understand why I'm here? I'm not here to quit drinking.

I'm here because I got back trouble. The cops were on my back. The judges were on my back.

The lawyers were on my back. My family had long ago stopped speaking to me. But the furthest thing from my mind was to never pick up a drink again.

And I made a deal with myself. I was in trouble. in every area of my life.

And I would give these old men 6 months of my time. And then I could go on the granddaddy of all drunks and everybody would say he tried and the pressure would be off. And I gave him this 6 months.

And I had 6 months and nobody had taken a punch at me. I had 6 months. No jail cells, no handcuffs.

And I said, "Maybe I ought to give these guys a couple more weeks and a couple more weeks and a couple more weeks." And by the time I reached 14, I had been through at least 22 different boarding homes, attended at least 14 different schools, and I was to go to school in Bal Heights, and a man offered me a job. He said, "I'll lock you in my store at night. You won't have to go back to school." And I sure didn't want to go to school.

And he locked me in that stall at night and immediately every time anybody the next day would come in that store with a suit on, I thought it was a training officers looking for me. And that's when I started living in fear. At the age of 14 or 15, I could not hold a two-minute conversation.

I lived in a shell. I would work that grocery store at night. Randle Maul was a racetrack and in the winter time my dad had fighting CS in every third barn.

My job was to go feed the roosters and then I would walk uh back to the house, throw a paw against the wall in the building and be anybody I wanted to be. But I couldn't hold a two-minute conversation. That spring the racetrack came to town and I'm throwing the rubbish out one morning.

So one of the racetrack says, "You know, it wouldn't hurt if you threw that rubbish out. You threw some booze with it, wine and beer." And the next day I threw the rubbish out and out went some wine and beer. And um guy said, "Why don't you come over and have a drink?

And I went to that barn and I took my first drink boo. I don't know if it was the first drink, the second drink, but all of a sudden I found myself going from a 15year-old kid that couldn't hold a two-minute conversation to a 15year-old kid that you couldn't shut up. I went from a 15-year-old kid that had mentally been beaten in the ground so badly he was convinced he was a total idiot to a 15year-old kid that thought he knew all the answers.

I went from a 15 minute uh year old kid that was afraid of everything that was to a 15year-old kid that would challenge anybody that come down the street. And I made a decision that I would stay drunk the rest of my life cuz this was the way I wanted to live. The dude booze did for me what I couldn't do for myself walking the bounds one morning and the race trainer said to me, "I'm going to lose with my horse today." I said, "That's nice." He says, "Uh, go back there to that grocery store and tell them it's going to win." And I said, "Dutch, I don't understand what you're telling me.

If the horse is going to lose, why do I tell people it's going to win?" He said, "Bring the money back to me." And I found out gamblers are no smarter than drunks. I walked in that grocery store. He said, "The Dutchman gave me all this." He said, "It's not going to lose." and their money come up from bundles and I took the money back to him and between 15 and 18 I had more money in my pocket than I did anytime in my adult life until I come through the doors of AA.

One day he watched me drinking whiskey, 107 lbs, baby face, and he said, "Boy, I got to make some money on you." And the next morning, I walked up to his barn and he cooked me a big breakfast. He said, "Let's go make some money." And we walked into a little bar on Embry in Northfield and um guy come in with a loan of money and he said, "I'll bet you a couple hundred that pumpkin. I'll drink you." And the guy looked at me 107b baby face and he made the bet.

We won the bet. Pied in that capacity. Nobody could put his way as much whiskey as me.

And we continue to make these bets and we continue to win these bets. And I had that pride and that capacity. At that time in my life, the ability to handle your booze meant you were a man.

And at the age of 15, I was a man because I could handle my booze. And for three years, I'm running these bets back and forth to the grocery store. And the manager of the store caught on to what was going on.

He weighed about 260. I weigh in at 107 lbs. He took a swing at me.

I grabbed the meat cleaver, missed his head by a couple inches, and uh the law was caught. Korean war just broke out and they told me, "You got a choice. You join the army or you go to jail." And I choose the army.

Basic training, no different than basic training for anybody else. 12 weeks without a drink. Basic training.

When I went into the army, I was in such bad physical shape. I put on 30 to 40 lbs in basic training. When everybody else was taking off the fat, I was putting on a weight like mad.

And I heard the guys talking much the youngest in the outfit. They said, "Let's take the kid out and get the kid drunk." And they took the kid out and it was like the old Andy Griffith movie, No Time for Sergeants. The kid walked away and everybody else got drunk and everybody else got in trouble.

Fight in that capacity. Nobody could drink as much booze as me. And then we got lucky.

My whole division got shipped to Germany. We didn't have to go to Korea. And I became captain's radio man.

And the captain had a drinking problem. And his chief driver had a drinking problem. And I was his radio man.

And we'd be on maneuvers and he'd say, "Chadra, can you hear anything on your radio?" I said, "No, sir. I can't hear a thing." And he said, "If you can't hear anything on that radio, we might as well get a drink." And I say, "That's brilliant leadership, sir. Let's go get a drink." And I stayed drunk my year in Germany.

The captains make good money. The captain bought a lot of drinks, but the captain got transferred and they put me back in a lightweight platoon and I was told to do what everybody else was doing and I slugged an officer and I'm up for court marshal. Captain got a hold of me and he said, "You're going to get 5 years." I said, "What can I do about it?" He said, "Sign papers for Korea." I got the papers here.

sign the papers for Korea and uh the papers will come through before the court marshall. And I don't know how many people in this room never been in Korea. You can smell it before you can see it.

They use the human waste for fertilizer and they got a thing called kimchi that you bury in the ground and they eat it when it comes out and it stinks worse than the human waste. And then they had the thing I feared the most in my life, the biggest rats I had ever seen in my life. And I got shipped up the frozen chosen, the chosen reservoir.

Eisenhower is running for president. My best friend Eisenhower come to Korea. My battalion was his first command.

He came to my battalion. My best friend pulled arguard for him. Eisenhower came back to the states and the kid was as far from me as John is right now when he got killed and all the Cleveland papers.

Coral has dinner with Ike and then death and they had quotes for me about what happened and my dad cut every article out and I got back to the states and I'd walk into my dad gave me the articles. I'd walk into a saloon and somebody say, "What was it like in Korea?" And I say, "You want to hear a war story?" And I'd give him the clip clippings. Give Chadwick a drink.

So the battle got a little bigger. Give Chadwick another drink. And all of a sudden, what was a minor scrimmage that day became bigger than the Battle of the Bulge.

Give Chadwick another drink. And um I finally I get a job and I'm working with explosive gas hydrogen gas. They didn't have the safety restrictions and I found a little saloon down in the corner and I'm working ship and I could straight stoke my furnace, run down to this little saloon, get a couple of drinks, come back 18 minutes, stoke my furnace, back down the salute, 18 minutes, come back.

But the woman on second shift started talking about my drinking. Then they came to me and they says, "Amy's husband used to be a big drunk at all." Well, Adam's husband quit drinking and he don't drink anymore. I said, "That's wonderful." And they said, "Well, he used to be a big drunk." I said, "You told me this.

What has it got to do with me?" Randomize went home to her husband and he knew me and uh she told him my story and he says, "I know the jerk. You're going to have to let the clown finish his act. He's not ready." Aame's husband died a couple years ago.

A week short of 50 years in Aea and one of the greatest Aeas ever walked the face of the earth. His name was Joe German. Anybody that ever did much time in the penitentiary would have heard of Joe German because he attended every penitentiary gone.

But he knew I wasn't ready. and I'm working with this explosive gas and I'd come in on third shift and I bring wine and beer and I throw the empties on top of the shipping office and the company would come in in the morning and they couldn't figure out why I'm leaving work drunker than I came to work and they can't find no empties and they tore down the shipping office and for the next three years I'm on the bum bots boy in the saloon stacking bottles in his grocery store that I worked in before I went in the service. And the man walked Well, in the meantime, my kid brother comes home from the service.

He said, "Don, I got to go to Germany next week." I said, "Get married." He said, "What?" I said, "Tom, they got this thing called aotment. If you get married, you send the money home to the woman, you get almost double your pay. When you get out of the service, you divorce her and u she gives you the money and you got a nice little savings.

He said, "Don, I've been away. I don't know any girls." And I said, "Uh, I'll find a girl to marry you." So, we went to the sorrow in and uh there was a girl sitting there and I said, "Would you marry my brother?" And she looked at me like I was a nut and I explained the circumstances to her and she got patriotic as hell. She said, "Yeah, I'll marry him." Good thing he never married her because he did 24 years in the service and she would have had a nice little s and we took off to get married and we got picked up for drinking intoxicating beverages in the moving vehicle.

They let the girls go and he threw my brother and I in jail and I had an older brother trying to get away from his past. Western Reserve for 8 hours a day, Republic Steel for 8 hours a day. Few weeks previous I had bowed a hundred bucks off and I said you have it on a Friday night.

He came up to the green cell and I said all I got is 20 bucks. I gave him the 20 and he stormed out of the bar. Nobody seen him give me a 100.

Everybody seen me give him 20. And the bartender says, "What's wrong with your brother?" And I said, "I'm trying to help in true college and he don't appreciate it." And they said, "Give Chadrick a drink. Give Chadrick enough to drink." And again, I had another excuse.

And I called him up at work and I said, "Bob, we got a big problem." He says, "They give you that typical groan." He said, "What's the problem?" I said, "Tom got himself thrown in jail and he's got to be in Germany next week." And he said, "Okay, where you at? I'll pick you up and we'll go get him." And I said, "Well, I'm in jail, too." He come out, he put the money up. My brother had a left hand on him.

We probably fought 500 times and he won 500 times. And I knew when we left that jail cell there was going to be a fight. And he said the magic words to me.

He said, "Don, I had to write a bump check. I got to run back into Cleveland, get money out of my savings account, and put it in my checking account. Why do you do these things?" And I went to the cops and I said, "You better do something about that guy.

He wrote you a bump check." And we didn't speak for the next 10 years. And I'm stacking shelves in this grocery store one day and a man walks in and he says, "I know your childhood. I know your history.

I'm willing to give you a break if you promise me to show up to work sober. I'll give you a job." And I said, "You got my word for it." And for the next six years, if I showed up in that plant sober five times, it was America. I went to work drunk and mad one day and I caught a wild cat strike.

Had everybody out on the street. At that time in my life, I'm wearing shop uniforms seven days a week. My drinking capacity is down to a shot in the beer and my face in a puddle of beer.

Wake up. Shot in a beer. Face in a puddle of beer.

Totally lost my capacity for eating. Lost control of all my facilities. Don't know when I'm going to puke.

Don't know when I'm going to go to the bathroom. And I read the obituary a couple of years ago, Kurt Kil Bane. And in the obituary it says when day is done or the party's over and everyone goes home you're stuck with yourself.

And that's the way I was living. If I was alone or I was with a 100 people I'm stuck with myself. And they gave me a lot of room in them bars because I stunk.

And the only bar I'm allowed in, the bartender made a mistake. He told a bookie to give me credit and I bet every football game going. I didn't have 10 cents in my pocket and I won every bet and I got a bundle of money in my pocket.

It's on a Sunday night and I went into the bar where Johnny Brena got locked in the cooler and they didn't know me. I'm trying to buy the house a drink and they're trying to get rid of me. And a man by the name of George Mosi walked in.

He come over and he sat down next to me and I said, "I haven't seen you for a long time. Where you been?" He said, "I'm an AA." He said, "The only reason I'm here is I'm sponsoring the bar mage's husband." And I went into a blackout. And to this day, I don't know whether it was a week from that Monday or the next day, I walked into personnel and I said, "What do you know about AA?" And the personnel manager looked up at me in disgust and he said, "The only thing I know about AA is you need it." Then he softened and he made a call.

But the man that owned that shop, the man that hired me had become my enabler. And I hear people get up there and condemn the enabler. I get my paycheck on Friday and I say, "I hope I worked at least four days last week.

I need the money." And this man took on his supervisors and everything to keep my job. My enabler did not prolong my drinking. My enabler prolonged my life.

Personnel manager put in a call and the man started taking me to meetings and I went to my second meeting and I'm coming to pieces and I walked in the old club on Broadway in Harvard. Guy gave me a laugher ticket. He said, "We got a laugh for the night." He handed me the ticket and I hit the panic button.

I was shaking too much to sign my name. And the man come out of the back of the room and he said, "You want me to sign that for you?" I said, "Please." He put my name on the ticket. He come back and he said two words.

two words that means more than all the educated minds, all the professionals, all the books put together. He said, "We understand." They understood how I had three brothers and a sister and never got invited to their weddings. They understood how I woke up in a jail cell laying in my own waste, my own puke, my own blood, and wasn't worried about getting out of there and getting a shower, but was worried about getting out of there and getting a drink.

They understood. I didn't. It reminds me of a drunk stinger down the street and he falls into the gutter and the social worker comes by and HE THROWS SOME PAMPERS DOWN.

He said, "Read these. You'll get out." He reads the pamplets and he's still stuck in the gutter. The preacher comes by.

He throws him some books. He said, "Read these. You'll get out." He reads the books and he's still stuck in the gutter.

The AA sponsor comes by. He jumps down on the guy who let him. He said, "Come on, I'll get you out." He said, "If they couldn't get me out, how are you going to get me out?" He said, "I've been here before.

I know the way." And that's what we understand. I went to a meeting the next night. Billy Hughes is sitting there.

Billy had watched the last 15 years of my drinking. And I walked up to him. I said, "I guess you're surprised to see me." He said, "Surprised to see you.

Why would I be surprised to see you? Who in the hell else would have you? You had no place else to go." Then I went into the meeting and I said, "Bell, Billy's met." And I came out of the meeting.

He said, "I want to talk to you." I went, I sat down. He said, "You're going to have trouble." I said, "Yeah." He says, "Uh, you're not going to like the word serenity." And I said, "I don't." And he said, "You're going to have trouble with the godpit." I was an atheist when I walked through these doors 35 years ago, and I have never found a god. I'll be forever grateful to them old times who says, "We only have two kinds of prayers anyway.

Prayers of guidance, prayers of understanding. Anything else is a give me prayer. And if you want what we have, you better get on your feet and earn it.

And then they took me to hear Mo Yoda. And Mo Yoda said, "You're going to pray for potatoes, you better get a hole." And Mo Yoda said, "It's not what you say on your knees, it's what you do while you're on your feet." And I could buy that. And I met some of the first hundred members of AA.

And I hear people get up there and talk about how tough they were. And I never met one yet. The toughest sounding old-timers I ever met in my life were the kindest, most compassionate, most caring people that ever walked the face of the earth.

And I went with these individuals. We'd put a guy in Rosary Hall and they go back and they fill that ice box up with groceries. Mighty Welch tells the story about O'Brien stealing the utility bills out of the house and going paying the utility bill because you can't give the drunk the money he spent.

And he told Marty, he says, "I didn't do this for the drunk. I did it for his family." We sat up all night with a drunk and pour them A DRINK EVERY HOUR till we get them a treatment because the only way we knew how to handle a drunk was keeping on booze until you get them in the hospital. They were the kindest people that ever lived.

I don't know how they got the tough reputation. But they also put me up against the wall and they said, "If you want to stay sober, we'll go to hell back with you. If you want to get drunk, go to hell by yourself.

And that's the way they treated me. And that's the way I feel you should be treated. THEY TOOK JOHNNY BENZO and I to meet.

Neither one of us had two nickels to rub together and we'd walk into the club and they said, "We're taking YOU GUYS TO DINNER TONIGHT. Oh boy, we're going to get food." They took us to an anniversary and they'd walk us to to the front of the line and they said, "You these two guys go first and we got our plates full of food." Don't tell me the oldtimers were tough. They weren't.

Frank Lizzie became my sponsor. Frank was one of the first hundred. Ask the oldtimers about his flower shop.

If it was 10 BELOW OUTSIDE, IT WAS 20 BELOW INSIDE. coldest place in creation. And he looked at me when I got out of Roseme and he said, "You're chairperson." I said, "I'm what?" He said, "You're chairperson.

You get the leads." And I uh said, "Uh, Frank, I don't know anybody." Oh, he said, "I'll give you names." So, I fig he's going to give me their names, their addresses, and phone numbers. Debbie Saturday Night Live. I had to go to the meeting to get her the lead so and so and another meeting and um but no phone numbers and I had to go to that meeting for the next 17 months.

I was chairperson every week. The greatest thing that ever happened to me. I'm up there bitching and moaning one day and he threw me in his car.

He said, "Take a ride with me." He took me out to Crow Hospital, the Veterans Hospital, where they'll never get out of a bed and march me to a ward. We walked outside and I said, "Frank, why'd you do this to me?" He said, "You still feeling sorry for yourself? The only problem you got is you can't have a drink today, you pitiful so be.

Do you know how many guys in them beds would love to change places with you? And I needed that kind of lesson. And that flower shop, I'm sitting up front chairing a meeting and the cat come out and killed a mouse.

Coffee table sat in the back of the room. Cat ate the mouse, jumped up in the coffee table, started drinking the cream. And I said, "Boy, am I glad I drink coffee black." Joe was my other sponsor.

Joe told me, he said, "The only promise we give you, walk in our footsteps, you'll never be sick from drinking again. We don't keep you out of jail. We don't save marriages.

We don't save your job. If that happens, all well and good. But the only promise we give you, walk in our footsteps, you'll never be sick from drinking again.

And um they told me the biggest enemy I would ever have in my life could be the great me when there was no more warrants for my arrest. Everything was going okay on the job. The bosses were off my back and my pockets would jingle and the great me would jump out of the bushes and the great me would say, "Who needs a I'm okay.

I'm kid." 7 years, the great me jumped out of the bushes. And the great me met a girl 20 years younger than himself. And the girl told me, "Don't fall in love with me.

And I don't worry about a thing. But one of us fell in love and it wasn't her. And I stayed sober by habit.

I stayed sober by stopping in a restaurant. Do you care for anything from the bar? And I said, "No, but I was walking on thin ice.

guy by the name of Clinton Keny got a hold of me and got me going back to Rose and back to meetings. But I was on eyelash because of the great me. A man by the name of Lenny Coleman, kindest man that ever lived.

Sold 6 months and I said, "Lenny, this AA won't work for me." He said, "Why not? I'm on vacation. Money in my pocket." And I said, "Lenny, I don't believe in God like you people." He says, "Can you answer a question for me?" I said, "What's that, Lenn?" He says, "You got to go to work." I said, "No, Lenny.

I'm on vacation." He says, "Um, you got any money on you?" I said, "Yeah, how much you need?" He said, "I don't need your money." He said, "But you're drinking coffee getting ready to go to a meeting with me. Doesn't that mean anything to you? And um it meant something.

Two weeks went by. I'm getting ready to go back to work and I'm standing with Lenny getting ready to go to a meeting watching a softball game and my thoughts are I'm going to go to work tomorrow. They're going to call all the employees out.

They're going to sing how great thou are. And uh boy, everybody's going to be so proud of me. Lenny says, "The band stops playing." I said, "Lenny, I don't have the slightest idea what you're talking about." He said, "You're not going to get no pats on the back." He said, "They found somebody new to worry about." I think it's very important at 6 months period of time, we tell people the band stops playing because it does.

They find something new to worry about. Lenny was one of the greatest helps to me to ever happen. I had people get up there and talk about the yet.

I don't know why the hell you got to worry about something you never did. The again will put me in a gutter that I'm totally incapable of ever crawling out of again. You want to talk about the yets?

I lived in an apartment on 88th Street. Come home one night. I said, "Ping, ping, ping, ping, ping." And I walked in my apartment, phone drink.

Guy says, "Anything going on in your life?" And I said, "Oh, somebody's in the parking lot shooting people." He said, "Oh, that's nice." Then we heard boom, boom, boom, boom. He said, Chad, what's going on? I said, I'll go outside and check.

I walked outside and the cops screamed at me, get back inside. You want to get killed? man hadn't had a drink for two and a half years.

Got in a visitation argument with his wife. She was living with a cop, his ex-wife. That night he killed a cop, killed a tenant.

He's sitting on death row now. Never had as much as a traffic ticket. But in my life, I don't have to invent any new games.

Are I going to go back to do what I was doing 35 years ago and I'm going to be in a gutter that I'm totally incapable of growing under a men's? >> I don't think amends means digging up the dirt. I don't have to go and tell somebody I care for I stole $20 off you.

I want to make amends. All I have to do is undo the wrong. Vice told 20 of John, our relationship was re-established.

All I have to do is go back and say, "Hey, John, you know, when I was out there, you did me a lot of favors. I had some luck on the lotto. Here's 30 bucks.

Take your wife to dinner on me. The amends are made and the herd isn't dug up. I don't have to dig up her.

My But I'm my oldest brother that I turned in on a bad check. Judge, amends had to be made. His wife called me from Miami one time and she said, "You know, if you came to Miami, Bob would talk to you." And I got on the plane and I'm thinking, "What do I do?

What do I say to somebody I never did nothing but steal off her?" And I got off the plane and I knew the amends were made. I walked down the aisle. He's standing there with his wife.

They had a date for me and he's warning at the top of his voice. I haven't talked to my brother in 10 years. Nothing but the best.

And he said, "Don, we're going to the best restaurant in Miami." And I said, "Boy, that's great." And uh we got to the best restaurant in Miami, sis kebab on the framan swords. And he kept yelling, "Nothing but the best." And they had the fanciest drinks going and they had them fancy desserts. The waitress brought the bill over and he said, "I waited 10 years for this." And he handed me the bill.

We got a beautiful relationship today. Resentments. I resented things that happened from before I was 14.

Before I picked up that drink, man drove me out of his house when I was 12 years old. A night like tonight, told me if I didn't have money, I couldn't live there. And I walked the streets.

And I swore if I ever seen this man, I'd give him the beaten of his life. And I heard Anne Carl lead a meeting one night. And Anne says, "How do you get rid of resentment?" And she got a sneer on her face.

She said, "You get even." And she said, "But they told me if I want to get even, I better get even with the people that help me." And the guy sitting next to me looked at me and he said, "You look like somebody hit you." And I ran into this man. He was seated. He was crippled.

No idea in the world who I was. And I said, "You're looking for revenge against him?" And I had to take a group of people to dinner. And I went up to the bar restaurant where I'd been bus boy where the waitress used to give me a couple of drinks, begged me to eat, give me a couple dollars so I had a fix the next day.

And she come up and give she I'm so glad for you. That's getting even. Went to a meeting and the guy got up and he says, "Aa comes before my family.

Aa comes before my job. Aa comes before everything in my life. And I told Lanny Coleman, I said, "This guy's a total nut.

My family comes first." And Lanny said, "Your family don't speak to you." And I said, "Well, when they were speaking to me, they come first." And he said, "You don't understand what he means. What he means is without a he has nothing else." I went to a meeting with Lenny and a guy got up and he says, "I'm so 20 years. I need a more than I ever needed it.

And I told Lenny, I said, "That guy's a jerk. If I was sober 20 years, you'd never see me in the doors of AA again." Lenny said, "You don't understand what he means. He's got more to lose.

I just touched 35 years. I need AA more today because I got more to lose." When I walk through the doors of AA, I had nothing to lose. Today, I got everything to lose.

They tell the newcomer, "Take the cotton out of your ears and put it in your mouth." I got to go along with Ray Leelle. He says, "Don't drink. Go to meetings and Get rid of that garbage." Too many get outset when the newcomer's complaining.

Let that newcomer complain. They call my meeting at Kennedy Center, CBS, Chadwick's session. Get the rest of the Got to go.

Now I get into trouble. When it happened, how it happened, why it happened. All of a sudden, everybody's on firstname basis.

They don't have a last name anymore. I just show me a pamp. Dr.

Bob says anybody that can read the English language knows if you give only your given name in these rooms, you're living below the steps. If you give your only you if you give your name, full name on the order of press, you're living above the steps. old guy friend of mine at St.

cleaning center right now. Gave me his address book. Three gyms.

I said, "How do you know which one YOU WANT TO TALK TO?" And uh he said, "I don't know. You want to try looking Jim up in the phone book?" Half the guys that give you their name, Jim, they're going to have James in the phone book. You're going to have one hell of a time finding Jim in the phone book.

They buy a raffle ticket and they put their full name on that raffle ticket and they're hoping to hell their anonymity gets blown to the high heavens. ONE NICE SUMMER DAY, NORTHLANDER had a warrant out for me. Cleveland cops arrested me, turned me over to Northland cops, put me in handcuffs, marched me out in front of all the neighbors.

I got the Northlander Police Station and they didn't settle for Don Ch. They would even settle for Don Chadwick. Donald Bur Chad.

They wanted the whole damn words. Most disgraceful moment in my life being let out in front of all the neighbors in handcuffs and I gave my name. When I got the opportunity to help somebody, I become Don C.

People get up there and they say they say how great they are. My mother died and nobody came to the funeral. Nobody knew your name.

My name's Don Chadwick and I'm not ashamed of it. I went to a meeting early in society and I pitched about a sign being upstairs, AA meetings downstairs. An old man walked by me and he said, "That's okay.

You don't have to apologize for being sober. I'm 70 years old. I've never once had to say I'm sorry I was sober.

I don't know why we got so damn a nominee. I get in trouble on this one too. The big book big book became the lazy person's way of sponsoring.

A newcomer walks in. We tell them go home and read the fifth chapter. I couldn't read the funny papers.

There's thousands OF PEOPLE COME IN THESE rooms can recite the big book word for word and can't give you directions to a halfway house. Person comes in on a cold winter's night. I don't have a place to stay and they don't know what to do because the big book don't tell them where to take it.

It's a great book. Lot of knowledge in it. But if it's not put to where I work, it don't mean nothing.

I got a tape. I gave John a copy. Bill Wilson, the day Dr.

Bob died, he said, "We wrote the big book to make money." The big book was never meant to take the place of activity. What have the big book never done? Big Book never welcomed a newcomer.

Big Books never made a 12step call. Big Book never went to a funeral home. It was a tragedy.

Big Book never listen when somebody had to talk it out. It's a book. It's got tremendous knowledge.

But now it's put not put to work don't mean a damn thing. big moments in AA when I go to bed at night and I toss and turn all night because somebody I've been trying to help has a problem and I don't know what to do. Big moments in AA when somebody I've been working with aa has a university and I'm glad for him.

I sit here 35 years sobriety I'm more impressed with the person that got three months. I s 35 years and I got a year I'm tremendously impressed because they're still fighting. I uh I'm more impressed with the three months.

I'm more impressed with the one year end of time. Neil Craraven led a meeting for me this morning. 56 years.

I'm in P for 3 months now in nails. 56 years. That might sound stupid, but that's the way I feel.

How does a work? No different than to go to a vending machine, put something in, and you're going to get something out. Put nothing in and you're going to get nothing out.

And I had a young man downtown one time and he says, "My sponsor told me working at ADA." It's like trying to walk up an escalator that's coming down. Stop doing what you're doing and you're going to end up back where you started. And if I stop doing what I'm doing, I'm going to end up in the gutter I crawled out of 35 years ago.

I'd like to thank John for asking you for listening. >> Thank you for listening to Sober Sunrise. If you enjoyed today's episode, please give it a thumbs up as it will help share the message.

Until next time, have a great day.