Welcome to Sober Sunrise, a podcast bringing you AA speaker meetings with stories of experience, strength, and hope from around the world. We bring you several new speakers weekly, so be sure to subscribe. If you'd like to help us remain self-supporting, please visit our website at sober-rise.com.

Before we begin today's speaker, a quick announcement. After months of work, we've released the new Sober Sunrise companion app on the App Store. It includes the same daily Sober Sunrise speakers you already listen to, plus Sober time tracking, daily pledges, favorite speakers, a support phone book for your sponsor, and recovery circle, meeting tracking with reminders, and home screen widgets to help keep recovery close between meetings.

We hope you'll give it a try. You can find the link in the episode description. Whether you join us in the morning or at night, there's nothing better than a sober sunrise.

We hope that you enjoy today's speaker, >> man. Hey, that fell in the back with the hat on by the water fountain. Can you hear me?

That nice looking hat on. You hear me? All right.

>> That's Ray. That's Ray. >> Ray.

Well, if you can't hear me, do like that and I'll speak up or get closer. I'm going to uh tell a joke kind of loosen up the crowd, but but it's not for you. It's for me.

So, whenever I say the punchline, laugh. So, it the setting's in a little town up here somewhere in East Texas. I don't know the name of the town, but it's a small one.

Everybody knows each other. And uh the deacons and the and the preacher were in a meeting at the church talking about everybody and they run out of folks to talk about. So they started talking about the town liar.

Everybody knew him. You know the town liar lied about everything. This guy been lying since he was a child.

So they got to thinking they need to repent him and they prayed about it and they thought you know the best thing to do to that liar is to give him some of his own medicine. So they decided they were going to make up a big lie, excuse me, and go tell it to him and give him some of his own medicine. So that's what they did.

The preacher volunteered to do it. So the next day the preacher went out to the liar's house, knocked on his door. Liar come the door and he seen it was a preacher.

So in a small town when the preacher comes by, you invite him in for coffee. That's what he did. They went in the kitchen.

The liar started making coffee. And the preacher said, "Well, now's about as good a time as any." Said, ' Did you hear what happened last Wednesday at prayer recital? Liar said, "No." Preacher went on.

He said, "All of a sudden, come cutting through the center aisle was a grizzly bear. Right behind that grizzly bear was a cur dog. Run them all the way up behind the pulpit.

All of a sudden, they were snapping, growling, fur, flying, barking. Few minutes went by, here come that curd dog. He done killed that grizzly bear.

Preacher said, "You believe that?" Liar didn't even slow down, turned and looked at him. Said, "Yes, sir. That's my dog.

I'm gonna uh try to relay my story tonight. what it was like, what happened, and what it's like now. I'm not going to let the truth get into way of a good story.

First off, I ought to tell you who I am. My name's Iron Mike, and I'm an alcoholic. >> And I'm glad to be sober today, and I'm grateful God showed me mercy instead of justice.

And I want to thank all the committee members and putting this fine thing together. We're going to have a ball this weekend, even though we're starting a little bit early. That's good.

I can get down a little bit early and start enjoying myself because I'm nervous. Uh, I was born in Louisiana and raised on the Texas side. Now, Gate Mouse Brown's got a song like that and I ain't going to sing it to you.

I was brought up in Pasadena, little town uh just south of Houston. Uh, I would like to tell you that I come from a broken home, but I didn't. In fact, I'm flying up to Dallas on the 18th to help my parents celebrate their 54th year of marriage.

They uh but you wouldn't uh you wouldn't know that by the way I acted. Uh I've got two sisters, younger and older. Both of them are very successful.

There's no alcoholics in my immediate family. Uh, I can go back to the uh to any kind of drinking in my family. I'll go back to about age nine or 10.

It wasn't me, it was my father. What happened was we would uh we would barbecue on Saturdays and mom and the sisters would go inside and they'd make a salad and a cake and me and dad would go out and barbecue on the on the patio. and he'd drink and apparently he would get drunk.

Well, one time he come in and uh him and mama had a fight and he hit her with the cake pan and uh she loaded me and my sisters up and took us to a hotel in Houston, the old carousel motel. I don't know if y'all ever It It wasn't a wh house back then. It was a It was a uh It was a regular hotel.

But years later, who' have thought old Mike would have gone seen it? But that's another story. Uh anyway, she loaded us up and took us over and uh and the next day we come back and uh and I have a uh a vague memory of my father being in there cleaning up in the kitchen.

And uh they had a little conversation and uh that's my buddy Donnie. He's always late. But he's a nice guy.

And uh my mom said uh no more drinking. That's we're going to leave. And my father lines up with the big book Alcoholics Anonymous.

He was a hard drinker. The big book says a hard drinker can stop if problems are hard enough. You know, like a wife's going to leave you, love problem, uh hospital, something like that, medical.

And he stopped. Gold turkey. There's no drinking in my home when I got old enough to be interested.

So, my first drink uh was around 11 or 12 going to Boy Scout camp. And my buddy's dad drank, had a full bar. And we went over to his house and got us a fruit jar and we started filling up from one bottle to the 11 or 12.

I didn't have no idea what vodka or bourbon was. It wasn't no difference. We filled it up.

I hadn't drank at that point. We went to scout camp and pulled out that Mason jar. And uh I'd like to say that I had a real fond memory of what happened.

Like some some keen alcoholics have that. I just don't. I'm not one of them.

I know I participated. And I don't think I participated because I was alcoholic. I think I participated because I was having peer pressure.

That's one of the things that uh that I've always had was a a bad case of what I call oddballism. You ain't going to find that word in the book. I made it up, but it explains how I felt.

And I felt that for a long, long time. And I'm sure I'm quite sure I was feeling it that day. I took that fruit jar and took a sip of that whiskey.

Uh I don't remember if my buddy drank any. I don't remember the whole story cuz I blacked out and I didn't continue drinking from that point on. That was my first drink.

I rocked along. Uh did a little stretch and reform school at 13. I'm sure I was experimenting with drinking and other things.

Uh, I didn't know this, but a few years ago, I was at my mother's house and we were sitting drinking a cup of coffee with that lovely woman. And we were talking and I told her, I said, "You know, I can't believe that I left home at age 14." And she stopped me and said, "You're my only son. You left you left home at 13." And I guess I I never went home after reform school.

Kind of hit the streets running, drinking, uh, doing anything. Kind of like Waterfront Joe. Uh I was an anyo.

I wasn't a wineo. I was anyo. Do anything.

And that went along. Uh age 17 went to the penitentiary. Stayed uh three years down there on the Ferguson unit.

I went to my first meeting on the Ferguson unit. I couldn't have been 18 years old. Uh kind of like lining up with old Bill's story here.

He talks about being across the country during war and he saw that dog roll where it said this man died of not by musket but by cold beer or something like that, right? Died of pot, but not talking about the kind you smoke. And uh and Bill said he had a a moment of clarity or a ominous warning that was fleeting.

And I'm sure that's what happened to me on that Ferguson unit. I went to one meeting down there and the only reason I went to that meeting was because they asked me to go if I wanted to make parole said I was an alcoholic and I was the same reason like Bill how could I be alcoholic I ain't even old enough to drink they denied my pro for it got a thing down there in the unit the on the Ferguson unit I guess it's in all the units down there that's the only one I've made so far uh it's called a 19 19 reasons why you ain't getting out. And they had the one checked on mine said I was alcoholic.

So I went to a meeting on the Ferguson unit and I forgot about that. It was a long time in sobriety before I remembered I went to that meeting. But as I look back now, I didn't go in there to talk about my problems.

I promise you that. Or make friends with nobody. I went down there probably because the parole board told me to.

And also I think they had donuts and coffee and stuff like that. I made one meet and I didn't go back. Come up for parole and I told them I'll do my time day per day and they I damn near did.

They obliged me. Uh I got out of the Ferguson unit somewhere in uh early 76. Hit the road running.

I uh got to thinking, you know, Mike's probably uh probably ought to back off the drugs a little bit. That that could be a problem. So, I I remember consciously stopping all drugs and just drinking.

But I can tell you I can look back now and I don't remember any difference. I don't remember it being different being any kind of like profound difference. So, with that said, I rocked along a while.

Uh, had no address for a long, long, long time. I know some of you know and can relate to that. Uh, let me give you a few examples of my drinking, then we'll move on into sobriety because I got an exciting sobriety and I want to share it with you.

But, let's get back to Mike's drinking. I never got a DWI. Of course, I never owned a car till I was 35 years old.

Now, uh that helps a little bit. Got a lot of P eyes. I owned a motorcycle for years and years and years.

That was my only form of transportation. And uh until the motorcycle crave got real heavy here the last 10 years there wasn't many of us out there. You know they'd come up and they'd find me in the ditch and and they'd find the motorcycle in the ditch and they couldn't prove I was riding it.

So they'd haul me on in for PI. But anyway, this particular time I was on that motorcycle and I can't remember if I was going someplace or coming back. So, I was pretty drunk.

And uh it was somewhere around downtown Houston and it was in the middle of the night and it was raining real bad and I saw refuge off the highway. You know how all the highways are elevated? I went down.

I ended up down in the Montro and uh I pulled into a little uh cafe of sorts and uh and ordered breakfast. Well, when I took a bite of my breakfast, it was cold. And I uh and I looked up and I looked around.

Nobody's in there mean to cook. And I said, "Hey, my breakfast is cold." He said, "Well, it ought to be. You've been laying in it for two hours." Apparently, I come in and uh and rode in there real fast and hard, and everybody left but the cook.

And I and I ordered breakfast and fell out in it. And then come too with egg and everything stuck to my head. took a bite and complained about it being cold.

Well, being a nice naturatured fellow like I am, I threw the plate at him and got out of there real quick. Another instance, God, this one's got Bowmont, a little bit of Bowmont in it. I was uh I was up here uh in Bumont working for a little steel company.

I wasn't in here trying to uh better myself. if I was on the run from Houston and I was up here uh done talked some crazy man to let me uh rent a room from him. You'd have to be crazy let me rent a room from you especially when I get to drinking and I was always drinking.

So uh we stayed up I guess I was up here two or three months rocking along doing good you know looking good working uh drinking. Well, uh, the people in Houston forgot. You know how we forget how the the knots go away and, uh, you know, stuff gets out the pawn shop and we forget and they forgot.

And I got to talking with them on the phone. They said, "Hey, Mike, come on down. Let's party this weekend." Oh, that's a real good idea.

I thought so. I got my new friend that I was living with there. We got up in his car because I didn't have one.

and we took off for Houston. We got down there in Houston and uh got to drinking and uh and I hit him right off. Lost my ride.

He left me down there. And uh by the time the weekend was over, come Sunday, I had to get back to work in Bumont. Didn't have no ride.

And you you know it, them folks didn't want me at their house no more. I done hit a couple of them and and nobody was talking to me. Nobody wanted to give me a ride home.

And uh so I was downtown by the bus station in Houston. Some of y'all might know where that area is at. And uh I apparently had enough for a bus ticket to Bumont.

Well, I had a half a pint left. A little bit like a just a dust cutter. Not the whole half a pint.

I had it hidden off in my boot. And uh Don apparently bought my ticket. I don't remember purchasing it, but I must have already bought the ticket.

And uh and so I I thought I was out of sight of the bus driver. You know how they hang out by the front of the bus, make sure everybody gets on. Well, I got that half pine out and I and I knocked it out and I threw it down and I turned and the bus driver was looking at me.

I thought, "Oh man." So I tried to get on the bus. Uh-uh. No, no, you ain't getting on the bus.

You're drunk. And I told him what I told what I basically told y'all. Please, I'm not drunk.

I'm working in Bowmont. I need to get back. He said, "I tell you what, partner." He said, "I'mma let you on that bus.

You make one peep, I'm putting you off." Oh, you can bet your bottom dollar Mike's going to be good. So, I loaded up on the bus. Well, I woke up and yeah, if you ever been on a bus, it was dark and you you know how you hear the road.

We're rocking along and I didn't recognize none of the area. Of course, it was dark. Well, sure enough, when we stopped, we was in Alexandria, Louisiana.

That old boy was right. Mike was drunk. Of course, I do what I always do.

I blame it. Wasn't my fault. it was the bus driver's fault.

And I went inside and uh complained to the ticket people and they told me to uh shut up and sit down. Basically, what y'all been telling me for a long time. And uh so anyway, that's that's a little bit of my drinking.

Let's get me sober. I uh I got a few sobriety dates I like to read out of my big book, Alcoholics Anonymous. This is this is by no mean a requirement for anybody, but this is my story.

So, I'm going to share it with you the best I can. Uh, these are just some of the highlighted sobriety dates. I think I got a little time on some of these, but these are by no means all of them.

You people in Alcoholics Anonymous has never turned me away. Never turned me away. And I've done some absurd, bizarre things here.

You've never turned me away. Oh, there's been a few groups I'm glad that I there I'm sure they're glad that I moved on, but never, not once do you tell me no, you can't come in, Mike, or no, we will not help you. And I put them in a little bit of a chronological order, but just do the best we can here.

Uh 101786, that's my first sober chip with you folks. I picked it up at the Spring Branch Club. 11187 9188 61589 828 90 3491 I got two and a half years on that date.

That was a good one. And my date now 130 and 94. I'll be 12 years old Monday.

We uh I spend a lot of time with my sponsor. A lot of time. Love him to death.

One of the best men I know. We get around them old-timers and he puts his arm around me and he he tells him, "You reap what you sow." And he starts laughing. I don't know what all that's about.

I picked up my first desire chip at the Spring Branch Club. And the way I did that, I had just gotten out of jail for assaulting my first wife. I'd come home drunk and hopped up on things, pulled her out of bed and beat her up pretty bad.

Thank God she called the law on me, and they put me in jail. they would have sent me back to the penitentiary even though I didn't have a paid lawyer. But wouldn't you know it, the first time in my life I get a good courtappointed lawyer.

He tells me, "Look, we can beat this case." And I told him something he didn't want to hear. I said, "I don't want to beat the case. I'm scared.

Every time I get out of jail, and I've been in jail a whole bunch of times between when I got out the penitentiary and when I went to jail for assaulting Cindy, And I knew something was wrong with me. I just didn't know what it was. I didn't remember what happened on the Ferguson unit.

I had completely forgot about any kind of Alcoholics Anonymous or or any kind of alcoholism. I had no idea. I was clueless.

Well, I got out of jail. They gave me a 10-year probation, which is really uh strange to give an ex-con probation, felony probation. But the DA worked with me.

I told the DA that something was wrong with me. I don't know what it was and that I wanted help if there was help. And she said, "Well, we're going to help you, Mike.

We're going to watch you like a hawk. Going to have to urinate in a bottle three times a month for so long." And it is like I thought that was my first time like in the big book Alcoholics Anonymous. It says all the different times we tried to stop, take a trip, not take a trip, trying just to drink wine only, add infinitum or infin whatever the word is.

One of my infant items was that discussion with that DA and I figured surely the law could help me stop. They didn't stop me, but they slowed me down long enough to catch my breath and for you folks to help me. Well, I got out of jail and I didn't go to Alcoholics Anonymous.

I just figured the law had me covered and they did. I rocked along about two months, wasn't drinking. Everybody else seemed to be and I had a real bad case of irritable, restless, and discontent.

I was plumate up with it. Couple months went by and I and I had Cindy in the chokeold in the closet and I cut her loose. I had a moment of clarity.

I thought, "My God, what are you doing, Mike? So, I was in a bad spot. Let me explain where we were living.

I sure didn't have a home. We were staying there with her mother who had her mother there, who had her sister's kids there. Who had her Who had Bubba, her brother, which he'd done a too big a shot of dope one time.

Old Bubba, he wasn't on all cylinders. and and me and Cindy and we're all living in a two-bedroom apartment and she's screaming in the back. Let me tell you, man, things ain't looking good.

Everybody's home. So, uh so I was in one of them situations. Well, I I I made it out the bedroom and and got into the living room.

Everybody was in the corner looking at me like this. And I uh and I didn't know what to do. Lack of direction.

And that's been my story my whole life. I mean, what do you do? I don't have no place to go.

I ain't got no friends to go hang out with. And uh I didn't know it, but Cindy's mother had been going to Alanon when I when I married her daughter. That was a smart move.

Well, we were right across the street from the Spring Branch Club and them old apartments across the street. And I I uh I didn't know it was over there. She said, "Mike, uh there's a meeting across the street." And I threw my hand up.

That meant no more talking and that was followed pretty good up to that point. She started to go to Alanon and uh and she went out on a limb. She said, "Mike, I think they're playing dominoes over there." I said, "Well, maybe I'll go." You know, I she could have told me anything over there.

uh building the building, I'd have gone I I needed out of there. I needed direction. And so that's what I did.

I walked across the street and went over to the Spring Branch Club. When I got there, I didn't think uh I didn't think I'd be welcome. I almost didn't go in.

I walked through that parking lot and I seen all them fancy cars. And you hear people in Alcoholics Anonymous say that uh when they got here, they thought it was a bunch of underneath the bridge wos. Well, that ain't what I thought.

When I got here, I thought bunch of hoardy toys ain't going to let me in. And the only thing I had in my bag of tricks as far as uh uh any kind of tools to uh to work with people on a personal level was I hit you. That was it.

I didn't have any kind of discussion or any kind of people skills. So, I was extremely violent and scared to death, just like this man said, the one that was wearing the funny wig prior to me getting up here. And uh so I meandered around the parking lot and uh and thank God I finally went in.

You know how our God is. Oh man, had me covered. I didn't even know it.

And I went inside and you know the story, they wasn't playing dominoes. There was a meeting fixing to start. And once I got in there, I didn't have any direction.

And I was one of them folks with a bad case of oddballism. I ain't playing. I wasn't going to ask anybody anything because I was scared to.

I just didn't know. I had no people skills, period. And I followed the crowd in.

And I got off in that room and I sat in the very back with my back to the wall. Make sure nobody's looking at me. I call them on that real quick.

That's my only tool. Hit you. I'm looking for where to use it.

I sat in the meeting and uh wasn't paying attention. And they don't do it like we do on south side of town. They do it wrong.

But I they have uh they have two people up there. Instead of a chairman, they got a chairman and a leader. They still got it like that today.

I've tried to tell them and straighten them out. They keep telling me the same thing that bus driver told me. sit down and shut up.

But but anyway, I got in there and they got the meeting going on. There's two big bull males behind them, one leading one chair, and one of them's got a cowboy hat on and good-looking fellas, big bulls, and I ain't paying attention to them. Well, about halfway through the meeting, the one with the cowboy hat all of a sudden real nicely turns to the person talking and said, "Please hold on a minute." and his voice raised just a little bit.

That got my attention. Then he turned real quick. The two people said, "You two over there holding a conversation.

Don't let the door hit you in the ass. We're trying to have a Alcoholics Anonymous meeting in here." Boy, that caught my attention. And I don't know where this thought come from, but I remember it real clear.

I thought to myself, "If them boys can't keep me sober, nobody can." I don't know where I got that from. Well, that was the end of that meeting. I was there the next day and I wasn't there to get a sponsor.

I was there to see if any more action was going on. Hey, they might be doing more than talking today and old Mike might get in on some of it. Well, can say what you want, but I'm the one up here talking.

And I'm going to tell you a little something about my God. As I look back now, I didn't see it then, but I see it now. Clear as a bell, I know my God had that fell jump up and threaten them two people.

It brought me back in the next day. It saved my life. I got a friend of mine named Mark.

We call him Big Mark. He just picked up 22 years. He just come back in from Iraq.

He told me it's all right to share this story and I'm going to share it with you. Mark was having less than 30 days and he was at the Clear Creek Club. Some of y'all know might know where that's at.

stand down by the KMA bridge. It's what we call a outlaw club. They're not hooked up with GSO or anything, which is their loss, but they told me the same thing.

Sit down and shut up, Mike. But anyway, Mark was over there with less than 30 days and he was in the half measures room. You know where that's at?

That's the room where nobody's actually going to a meeting, but they're hanging out in the meeting hall. Well, he was thinking about going out and getting drunk and a fist fight broke out and he told me he thought to himself, "All right." And he stayed and he just picked up 22 years. But I'm not saying it's okay to fight or anything like that.

Well, what I'm saying is is that the same God that put that cowboy jumping up in that meeting to attract me was the same one that got Mark to stay was the same one if you want to look back. It's the same one that got you and kept you here. My god, man.

Look at the diversity of this crowd. We got everything from a street hood to attorney generals in here. This thing is wide, man.

It's open for everybody, not just a select few. So anyway, I'm at the Spring Branch Club. I went back over there.

I got old big boy to sponsor me. I don't know how long I stayed sober that time. Maybe a few months.

Went back out. Got back in. Went back out.

By now, I surely don't have an address cuz Bubba and Mama and Granny and everybody done had enough of Mike and they done did like this to me. Oh. Oh, Mike's living in the weed patch and I'm holding my own pretty good.

Starting to hit the detoxes. Well, I I ended up northside 24, stayed over there for a while. Uh, moved on from there.

Was living in a weed patch over beside the north side 24. I'd been through probably 11 detoxes at this time. Was wearing out the Harris County area.

Uh, and I was walking on the street going down airline one day and a woman in the club in the in the Alcoholics Anonymous pulled over and talked me into going home with her. Go home and uh get a shower and let her wash my clothes and give me a good meal. And uh and I went I needed a shower real bad.

And I needed some food. I needed some shelter. Well, she washed my clothes and they fell apart.

Go figure. And she uh and she gave me some of hers. Look, I got enough time to clean that one up.

Give me a minute here. What happens is uh she said, "Where's some of mine?" I said, "I can't fit in your clothes." In the doctor's opinion, it suggest that uh at some time in my recovery or lack of recovery, sometime in my alcoholism that I will lose track of the truth and the false, I won't be able to see Mike for who he really is. And I had no idea.

I thought I was 220 like I am now. I had me pictured as a fullg grown bull male. Truth was I was down to about 160 pounds.

I don't look good at that weight. And her clothes fit me. She gave me a pair of blue jeans and a t-shirt.

And I went back to the north side 24 and they wouldn't let me in because I'd already been there and caused some trouble. And they they let me stay there that night. And the next morning they had four quarters sitting there in front of me and said, "You start calling.

You find someplace to take you." And thank God the Wheelhouse took me. It's over in Deer Park. Some of y'all might know where that's at.

I called over there and I got to the wheelhouse wearing women's clothes. Had one sock, no ID, no wallet, no nothing. didn't have a sack of clothes.

And I got to the wheelhouse and uh and the state of mind that I was in was not in I need recovery. I'd given up on that a long time ago. I believed alcoholism was going to kill me.

The progression was real and I could see it. It had been three years since I'd been to the Spring Branch Club. The detoxes were were were getting closer and I just couldn't seem to stop.

No matter what, I couldn't stop. And I figured it was going to kill me. What I needed was a couple of good square meals, a couple of good nights sleep, a little meat on my bones before alcoholism came knocking.

And I knew it was coming. I'm telling you, I knew it was coming. I had reached a complete state of hopelessness.

And the book said, "That's a good place for old Mike to be, but I didn't know that." Anyway, I got to the wheelhouse and uh and uh stayed there 10 days and was thinking about leaving and a friend of mine stopped by to give me an old work coat that she had packed of mine. She didn't want to steal it. She knew I didn't have a coat.

It was dead off. It was end of October in '89. If you remember that year, it got real cold.

It dropped down to like seven and stayed that way in December. Got real cold. Anyway, she brought the jacket by and she had seven years in the program and she told me something before she left.

She didn't tell me, "Mike, thank you for abusing me. Thank you for running my life and running me out of town," which I did. She told me, "God's given away grace.

You ain't got to steal it. You ain't got to hog nobody for it. You ain't got to beat nobody down for it.

All you got to do is ask him. It's a free gift." And she left. And I went back to the sick room in the wheelhouse and got beside my bed and I said this prayer.

I said, "God, whatever grace you're giving it away, give it to somebody that can take it." Old selfish prayer. Poor old Mike. I was convinced I was going to die.

Well, the next morning, I'd like to tell you, I woke up and the cool breeze was blowing. Dove come crashing through the window and landed on my shoulder. >> >> I woke up nothing.

But the thought crossed my mind. Maybe if I try these steps and cross every tea and dot every eye, give me a chance. And that's what I did.

I went to town. And uh I was the only one at the wheelhouse with a driver's license. Only one without a car, but I had a driver's license.

Nobody else had a vehicle. And they had a thing at the wheelhouse called the bread run. That's where we would go pick up bread over at Kroger and cracked eggs and expired milk and we'd take it to the wheelhouse and then we would go over to New Hope Women's Center and then we go over to the Legacy Club in Pasadena and distribute the rest of the free food.

Well, I was in charge of driving. You couldn't steal the truck. I thought about it, but it wouldn't go like over 35 miles an hour.

>> >> The thought crossed my mind. One of the things that I got, one of the things that that got me here with you folks was a guy named Jimmy the Hood. Used to work at the Legacy Club.

He was a custodian there. I'm telling you, I was plumade up with that oddballism. Didn't feel like I fit nowhere.

Well, every time I'd go drop the bread off, old Jimmy had a way of making me feel like I was a part of. And I look forward to that. And them old men were playing dominoes in the back in the middle of the day.

Old Kelly Sap, AB Humphre, Hacksaw, Archie, Bobby T. I want to be a part of that thing real bad. God, I wanted to fit in.

And the big book asked me a question. Am I willing to go to any lengths? And do I want what you have?

And I'm telling you, I wanted what you had. You hooked me in on a domino game and an old wineo. Hooked me in.

I'm talking solid. and I went to work. I drank three more times.

3491 I picked up a chip and stayed sober two and a half years. That was a good chip. Didn't miss no meetings.

Was alline sponsor. We got a few alatines in here that I remember. Was doing a big book study at the wheelhouse.

Was extremely involved. Went out and got drunk. ended up in the clothes hamper behind the Legacy Club in the trailer back there where the custodian lived seeing things.

I don't know if any of y'all ever seen these things. Kelly Sap sobered me up with a couple of bottles of Mad Dog, passing them through the clothes hamper. Drug me next door and sobered me up and I got this sober date now of January 30th, 94.

I was living in Pasadena. Had a girlfriend. Her name was Sonia.

I called her Junior. Nice woman. We were living together.

Had us a little apartment. I had a new desire chip in my pocket. I did the same thing I'd done 20 times before.

I went to work in the steps and it started to work. Got me a sponsor. Worked through the steps.

Me and Sonia got us a little apartment. Six months went by. My sponsor died.

Old Spencer Andrews, a few of you might know him. Died a tragic death. He was on the operating room and went out on him.

49 years old playing baseball for the Legacy Club. Broke my arm trying to help folks. Wouldn't you know it?

She yelled at Junior and she left. So here I am with a Sixmon chip in my pocket. Broken arm.

Sonia gone. Sponsor dead. It's time for old Mike to move.

And I looked in the paper and found me a place in Bay Cliff, Texas. Now it's 18 miles from Pasadena. And I never heard of it.

You don't get far without a car. Never heard of it. Found me a place.

went over there and the guy the guy let me rent it and I knew real good and well that I wasn't going to travel 18 miles every day to a meeting. I knew that. Not in city traffic.

I'm iron worker. Worked very hard for a living. At that time I was really working hard.

So I knew I was going to have to find me a meeting hall in that area. So now it comes up to the old creek club. Any y'all ever heard of the Clear Creek Club down there by KMA Bridge?

Outlaw Club. >> Well, I decided I was going to go make a meeting there because that's going to be my lifeline. It's by my house and I come from the legacy club.

Cowboys discipline structure. When the meeting starts, you need to have your coffee and be seated. Meeting starts at 6:00.

Well, that's what I was doing. Or they might have to whoop you. I was falling in line.

Well, here I am living in Baycliffe and I decided I'm going to make that meeting. The Clear Creek Club 6:00. Well, old Mike was there.

Had my coffee. Was sitting there on ready. 5 till 6.

Nothing. 6:00 mling in nothing. 6:05 joking, laughing, mingling, nothing.

610, they finally start the meeting and they do it wrong. As soon as the meeting was over, I run to the pay phone. See, I done got me a new sponsor and I called and reported him.

>> >> I told him the same thing that I just told y'all. Oh, I went on and he listened. He told me, "Are you through?" I said, "Yeah, I'm through." He said, "Good.

I want you to make that same meeting at the same time for the next 90 days." And I just hung up. I didn't even step into that conversation. Well, uh, I did and they got better.

Had that nice little home over there in Bay Cliff. Never had a home before. I moved in in August.

My light bill was $12 for the month of August. I didn't want to turn I was going to plug in the refrigerator. I don't know how much electricity them things use.

The only apartment I had before that was all bills paid and that was with Junior. Things got things got real good real quick. You know, it's amazing what happens when we stop drinking, start making some friends, start trying to do the right thing.

Things started happening. man, that little house. Uh, I started fixing it up.

Got me some furniture, bought me a truck, man. My own vehicle. In fact, one time I guess I had about a year sober.

I was going to a meeting on a Saturday. Had my little home. I was renting it.

No, it's home. Had my new truck. Done bought me some teeth.

You know HOW WE DO. I THINK I WAS LOOKING PRETTY GOOD MYSELF. SO, I'm going to go make a meeting up at the Creek Club on Saturday morning.

And uh and God's put me in a spot. I'm about a mile off the bay and I've got to cross over a big bridge to go to the meeting hall and I get I get the opportunity to look out and see that beautiful bay. I don't know how God picked up a thing like me and give me a second chance, but I know he has.

And anyway, I was crossing that KMA bridge and I was thinking, uh, you know, just how good old Mike got it, especially how good I looked in that new truck. And I was going over the bridge cuz I'm meeting halls on the bottom of the bridge. I thought I'd check me out in the mirror, make sure I look all right.

I look in the mirror and I realize I'd left my teeth at the house. That was a that that was one year into sobriety. things rocked along.

Doing like we do, helping others, going back to the wheelhouse, hearing them fists. You know how we do. When you show up at a detox, you better be ready cuz they need you.

They need you desperately. They need you. And uh I was doing a deal alatine sponsor again.

That's been fun. uh working with others, going to meetings, getting involved. Life's rocking along.

Working on that house. Well, uh I got to thinking, you know, what's old Mike with all this time of four years doing hanging out at the Creek Club when I done heard all the pretty girls were down at the Bay Area Club. And I thought maybe I needed to broaden my horizons a little bit on a spiritual basis.

Of course, you know how we get to thinking. Well, I made a decision and I let him know about it over at the creek. I said, "I've made a decision and I'm tired of hanging around with you old men.

Old Mike's moving on. and I'll see you later. So, I carried my happy self over to the Bay Area Club.

It's full of women over there. Well, the first meeting I'm in, I'm sitting there about halfcocked. Chairman said something.

I thought he's talking to me. Run up there and hit him. God damn.

Can you imagine in a meeting? That didn't go over very well. At the creek club, they have took me down, but I wasn't at the creek.

Thank God Walter was there in Big Al. The guy run in and dialed 911 on me. So, I was going to go in there and explain to him how I didn't mean to hit him.

And Big Al stopped me in the hallway, said, "Son, don't go in there." I said, "No, I need to straighten him out." He said, "Leave." So, I did and they straightened it out. And I had to go back and make amends to that man cuz I never even met him before. But it was a year before I did that.

went back to the creek and they told me what y'all been telling me all along. Sit down and shut up. Well, fourth year was rough for me.

And I made another decision. I said, "God," I got on my knees and said, "God, I'm going to load my motorcycle in the back of my truck and I'm leaving town. I'm going to head north.

Way north. Unless you give me a sign, when spring breaks, I'm heading north. I'm in it.

I didn't feel like I fit in anymore. I'd alienated myself in a few instances. And uh three weeks went by and the guy that I was renting the house from called me and said him and his wife were retiring.

They wanted to give me the house cuz I'd been fixing it up and treating it like it was my own. I never had a home. I didn't want to sit on the couch.

I'll put a new roof on it and add it on. You know how we do. And I figured God wanted me to stay.

So I stayed, rocked along, got a new sponsor. I got Walter in my fifth year, fifth and sixth year. He's been sponsoring me since uh up till today.

Last year in December, my family called me. I hadn't been I'd always kept up with my mother and father. In fact, we're in love and we've been in love for a long time.

But I had never kept up with my sisters. And my family called me and said, uh, my dad was going in for heart surgery, going to have to have a valve and a double bypass and a and a pacemaker and a corateed artery. I mean, some serious surgery going on.

He was 79. And uh and I had the opportunity to go up there and be a service to my family. And I got with Walter about it and we prayed.

He told me, "Mike, here's your chance to go up there and be a son and to be a brother." And see, I I didn't know how to do that. But y'all showed me how to do that. I've seen you be brothers and daughters and sons, employees, employers, husbands, wives.

I've seen it all here, man. Good examples. You showed me what to do and I went up there and that's what I did.

I was there for my family. Alcoholics supply, Alcoholics Anonymous supplied a son to those folks and a brother. And uh I spent six weeks up there.

My father's fine. He's turning 81 uh on the 13th of February. Well, I came back down here and uh my sisters talked to my mom and they told her that that wasn't the same man that they knew.

They hadn't talked to me in 10 years. And both of them called down here and invited me in their life. They said, "We want to have a brother again, and we don't care what happened in the past." And I talked to Walter about that.

I said, "Because I never hurt my family. I never stole from them." One time my father my mom sent my father down to Congress in Houston to find me. I hadn't been home.

They hadn't heard from me for five years. I didn't I didn't go around them. They had Christmas presents piled up in in the closets.

Walter told me the reason that they didn't want to have nothing to do with me. They didn't want their heart broke again and they were waiting. Well, my sister and her son came down and visited me this summer and my other sister.

We're talking and you know, it's just uh it's absolutely fabulous. During this time, I was up there with my father. Me and my mom were drinking coffee and talking one day and she uh she reminded me one more time that Alcoholics Anonymous saved my life.

They believe that and I believe that. They also think Walter saved my life. They do.

They do. Go to my dad's house and say something bad about Walter. See what happened to you.

He's almost 81. He'll jump you. And I told Walter about that and he said, "Why tell him any different, Mike?" And that's good enough.

We were at a uh a conference uh see if I get this right. Uh a concepts and traditions conference in Galveston about six months ago. I wasn't there because I wanted to be.

I was there because Walter was the voice and he had me under his thumb. He had about six of us lined up in there. And I tried service work about my first year and you know how friendly I was then.

I didn't get along with folks good enough. Well, I got in that conference and I heard what those men said. I couldn't believe that they gave that much of their time to help us and to be a part of.

And I was talking to one of them tonight or earlier today and he told me that everybody's got their role and I was just amazed. And I left there and I went back to my home group which is this side of the lake group. It's the noon meeting at the up the street club and they had an opening for GSR.

And I jumped in and everybody told me, "Mike, the only reason you got elected cuz nobody else wanted to be in." And the truth is been one of the best things ever happened to me. I guess when you're ready, the teacher will appear. I uh I tell you, we're going to have a good time this weekend.

I'm telling you, we got a lineup of speakers. What a deal. Uh if you missed Bill at the beginning with the little uh wig and making fun of me and everything, you know, and I've been sucking up to him for about six weeks now.

I have been. Oh, he talked bad about me in a meeting the other day and I said, "That's my best friend over there." You heard what he did to me at the beginning. It wasn't nice.

Anyway, support this conference. Buy some tapes and support the tapers and uh and we'll see you as we walk around over here. Come visit with me and talk to me.

I want to meet you and and thank you for allowing me to come up here and share. >> Thank you for listening to Sober Sunrise. If you enjoyed today's episode, please give it a thumbs up as it will help share the message.

Until next time, have a great day. >>