welcome to sober Sunrise a podcast bringing you AA speaker meetings with stories of experience strength and Hope from around the world we bring you several new speakers weekly so be sure to subscribe we hope to always remain an adree podcast so if you’d like to help us remain self-supporting please visit our website at sober-remix than a sober Sunrise we hope that you enjoy today’s speaker once again a a little something from the uh the fabulous one ad Del sh I fell in love with my husband Jay for the first time last weekend though we’ve been though we’ve spent more than 12 years together I had never seen him before and then I did what I had seen before that moment was a story I wrote about who he is and what he will or will not do I saw black hair then gray hair then ear hair I saw behaviors I deemed as good and bad and appropriate and not and I responded according to my perceptions at any given time this day he was good that bad this moment he was doing it right that wrong this moment he was wise that deluded this moment his appearance was acceptable that unacceptable and on and on the story went each time I read my story about whom he is whether he was in the room or not I would feel happy or sad angry or loving irritated or accepting inside those thoughts who can be seen there is no presence inside a thought no illumination of what is appearing what I saw were my own opinions which I reacted to accordingly great suffering existed in living like that even with a husband whom I thought I adored then the light came on and there he was before me beautiful beyond description and in that moment I realized that I had never seen anyone or anything before a startling realization I highly recommend Jay appears different to me me now his ear hairs do not bother me his face is perfection his body Exquisite there is nothing to change in him or his behavior there is nothing to change in me how do perceptual changes like that happen I have absolutely no idea but I have a story and this is a story of what appeared to happen perceptions began to change when I began to look inside for answers they changed dramatically when I regularly began to meditate that is to Simply to sit and to watch my thoughts and when I began to hang out with people who had a higher state of consciousness for lack of a better term about how to look inside for answers 13 years ago I began thinking with my eyes closed for 3 minutes a day when Jay and I began dating we began the practice together for years with lessening intensity I felt as though I would crawl out of my skin during that time no peace existed in those sessions for a long time my mind would frantically search and seize SE search for and seize thoughts then flashes of quiet would come without words a Feeling feeling of perfect okayness would overcome me for a nanc and then longer a deep sigh would fill me in those instances there was nothing to do nothing to fix nothing to change sometimes I practice that discipline for one day and then not for a week or a month other times I did it more consistently for a while and then not and then again trying to make myself meditate for 20 or 30 minutes during that period did not work for me I found it impossible to return to that amount of time once missed so I would simply stop sitting for long periods I did not stop shaving my armpits or wear pachuli oil or levitate though I thought I was supposed to do those things before I actually began sitting still I did try listening to my breath and using a contemplative word mine was shalom home to repeat whenever my mind drifted and using another of number of other exercises all of which were helpful I found nothing more beneficial than place my fanny in a chair it was tremendously helpful to sit with Jay more often than not one of us would not feel like sitting and the other would be encouraging I found I liked my husband better on the days that we sat together over the years the days of sitting still got closer and closer I stayed at 3 minutes for more than 11 years slowly the time expanded on its own this year it moved to about 20 minutes in the morning and 15 minutes to an hour three to five times a week with a group of people doing the same the decision to do that happened organically attempting to force myself to meditate more always produced less meditation somewhere along the line I stopped trying to meditate the practice appeared to change rather quickly after that that’s my story you have my permission to ask Jay how it’s going want to talk a little bit about being with girls sober uh I was uh 40 years old and my uh first marriage was ending my sponsor said I uh left my marriage so I could get into a relationship and uh and this was done consciously you know I’d done everything that I could I’d been as supportive of Jacqueline as I could be and uh and we were not able to make things work and thank God that we both had sponsors and we were both on this path and uh so that when I came to her and I said that I can’t I can’t live like this anymore because I I I I could not stay in a relationship that was just a friendship any longer and I knew that I was going to start looking elsewhere for affection and and and so instead of going and doing that or her going out and spending money or causing some event so we could blame each other or make something wrong we were able to accept responsibility for our inability to create a loving Union and uh and so what I did for the I did a sexual inventory and this sexual inventory had nothing to do with what I’d done wrong but what I did is is that I sat down and uh because I knew that I was I was 40 years old my last dating was done when people took toothbrushes to bars you know 1970 1980 so my dating skills were off just a little bit it had been you know a decade and a half almost and so and I knew that because I had left my marriage that I had really scarred my daughter who was only five at the time and I knew that everything that I did would be watched and observed and that the only way that I could help to make amends for for what I was doing to Jessica was to try and comport myself in such a way that I could always always look her in the eye now at the time I had coffee bars on two college campuses I’m vice president of a large church and I’m active in AA there were a lot of suspects and I sat down and I started to write a list and I I had to what is it what is it that I want in a partner I had never sat down and consciously thought about that I’d always walked into a room and waited for my hormones to go off and then tried to have my way with whatever the creature was but I’m a sober member of Alcoholics Anonymous and I knew that that probably wasn’t it and the great thing about being a sober member of AA is we know that there are two kinds of examples in AA there are good examples and bad examples I I could go out and I could Lisa Harley and get some leather chaps and get some ink and I could you know sit at the back start sitting at the back of the room and try and date girls that were closer to my daughter’s age than my own I know that wouldn’t happen to anyone in the Parker men stag but in our group there are a few um not in the Hermosa Beach men stag but one of those other meetings that are around the neighborhood and uh so I knew that that wasn’t the way to go so what I did is I I I took a look at at the fact that I’m a 40-year-old guy and I got a I got a 5-year-old daughter that I’m going to be responsible for for me I Alcoholics Anonymous is the most important thing in my life so if I’m looking for someone to share my life with they’ve got to be a member of his Fellowship the most important activity that I’m involved in an alcoholics is sponsorship therefore I want somebody that not only has a sponsor but that is sponsoring people third thing that I’m looking for is a woman that has done her sexual recovery work because if she’s in the fellowship she’s going to have to have done that work chances are uh my first I I wanted my daughter to maybe also have some alternative choice about people that had different experiences her mother a brilliant woman had never gone to college so I I thought that maybe a woman that was a professional woman might be somebody that would be a uh uh somebody that and then I was looking for somebody that was artistic and somebody that you know that in their um recovery at least demonstrated some uh spiritual panach and then I’ve got a couple of personal little things that I like I like tall girls so you know that that went on there and a couple other personal things and and then I started filtering and uh and you know I mean there were a lot of gals that I knew and but you know there were some that were just serial daters so I knew that that was probably somebody that I didn’t want to get involved with unless I was just looking for excitement and I was not did not want to model that behavior with my in front of my daughter um even though she wasn’t she didn’t live with me um but I you know again modeling that behavior um so when I when I went through all of that um the woman that was on the top of the list was Adele Shay and uh when I left my marriage I left with less stuff because stuff was only there for my daughter’s benefit I left with less stuff than I that I had when I went to college when I went off to college and uh and so I uh I knew I wasn’t going to out hip anybody and I I didn’t have a lot of money because I just I I I was giving the successful business to the to the to to Jackie and I had something that was scuffling and so I I took her out we went to Coffee a couple of times I realized that the targeting system was pretty good and uh and I said to her um I said uh you know my marriage is ending and um and I know that amongst intelligent women that there is a period of time that uh separated men are not datable and I know that you’re not involved with anyone at this time but I really think that we could have a good time together please do not fall in love with anyone until you have the chance to get to know me I approached her as if she was the person that I wanted to spend my life with and when I go home today I am going home to the person on the whole planet that I want to be with and I approached her like that from the gate now I’ve talked about going to these Retreats I was on this retreat in about 1982 and there was this guy father uh shepher who was leading part of the retreat and he was an old Jesuit had a a caller on and he said from the podium don’t sleep don’t screw him what what are you talking about I mean okay he’s got the uniform on he’s supposed to say that right and besides he’s celibate he doesn’t even know what he’s asking me to give up right that’s the most ridiculous thing I ever heard but here I am and I’m approaching this woman and this is the one on the top of the list I want to play this for Keeps and the more I got to know her the more I wanted to play it for Keeps the first time I had the privilege of kissing her I stepped back and I looked at her and I said I can’t sleep with you and she gave me that look it’s a little fun forward and I told her I heard this one time a long time ago and I want to try something different I know what happens doing things the way that I used to do it I want to try something different are you game she looked at me a little strange she said okay and so after another week or two when we really decided that this thing might might wor going for um I said why don’t we do this Valentine’s Day is a a couple months off let’s pick that as the day and what it did is it took all the pressure off of us getting to know each other and a couple other things and and remember I especially anybody that if they’re listening to this and they haven’t heard the other talk that that Adele has given me leave to talk about this because I didn’t know about dating I didn’t know about getting intimate I didn’t know any of that stuff and uh and we started praying together and then when we first started sleeping together what we did is is that we started and we went really really slow and I’m going to be very clintones about this okay is that we started out and we spent some time kissing but we didn’t have sex and then we you know got to first base and we spent like a week there and we went through all the processes but we didn’t finish it off and what happened is is that each and every expression of love a human being can have as an evolutionary thing we were able to experience as something of and by itself instead of something on the means to an end and so no matter how it is that we express affection it’s complete I never knew that was available I never knew that was available and the most important thing is is that the power got taken out of it sex had always been a power exchange for me if I do this you’ll do that it wasn’t that it wasn’t that and if you follow this path what’ll H you know and I’m not saying that we didn’t have a whole lot of fun in that time leading up to that but it was in stages and and if you follow this one of the things that’ll happen is is that that other energy will start coming in and two or three times during the course of this period of time there was an event in each of Our Lives where the best possible response from the other person was for us to make love completely and we didn’t do it and so we learned to trust each other on a level that I had never experienced in in intimacy we had we got to know each other because once you complete the sexual act what you do is you stick them in a box and you always keep going back to that same box and then when it was time what we did is we left where we lived or where we were uh I was you know we had separate domiciles but we left our town and we went off and we celebrated and made it a sacred time together and um that was 14 years ago and a lot of guys that I work with um have done this and the thing that happens is is that you know a lot of times things don’t work out but people are always able to be in the room together nobody ever feels like their trust was violated because it’s all done upfront it’s all done with honor it’s all done with love it’s all done with respect I didn’t know that was possible so you know again part of being a sober member of Alcoholics Anonymous with some experiences I want to share with you the great successes and joys of my life and my home and my marriage is the greatest joy and success of my life followed very closely by the P fact that my daughter will call me and tell me because I do that with her I call her and I tell her you know I uh you know I I texted her and said I’m in the Stanley Hotel Red Rom you know and she’s a she’s a goth chick so she just loved that you know and uh and uh and she calls her father and and tells me when the good stuff is going on you know uh I’m in Vegas and Marilyn Manson just got done painting my big toe you know I mean there significant things in her life and uh yeah yeah she’s off at it and having a wonderful time so uh I just want to I want to share that with you and that um that um they always talk about dating an alcoholic synonymous you know the odds are good but the goods are odd but I want to share with you that if you are looking for a mate make sure they’ve got a sponsor it makes life so much easier it makes life so much easier because I’ve been I’ve had Time dating sober women who didn’t understand that they might have a problem too or a part in it and believe me it’s a lot better the other thing that I did with with Adele is I asked her I when when we when I was uh uh when I was courting her I said look you know sponsorship is the biggest thing in my life I said are you willing to be a double agent because I’m working with all these guys and will you help them when they’re starting to to get together with women and and can you talk to them and you can you help him and she’s guided some guys that were you know I could only in my mind see without God’s grace them having lots and lots of years of therapy and and maybe someday they’d get to own a chipet and uh and some of these guys are married to the greatest women members of Alcoholics syon in my neighborhood when my daughter was uh 12 years old uh she’d gotten confirmed in the Episcopal Church to please her father it’s very sweet of her to do that she says Dad I don’t believe and about 50% of this stuff and I said well neither do I it’s no big deal darling but I said I’m really glad that you went through this and that you at least learned the principles upon which the this nation basically is founded in the stories that that are kind that were that were part of that the the development of the consciousness of this country um and she looked at me and she said you know Dad it’s all about the friends now and I remember that time I remember that time when my uh when my uh parents had split and I had to go and spend my times of with my father my daughter’ come to be with me uh I picked her up uh she she hung with me on Tuesday evenings I’d pick her up from school and then uh every Friday I pick her up from school and I take her home Sunday afternoon and uh and I didn’t go out and do any AA stuff really during that time um you know because I had a commitment I had a commitment and uh she said it’s all about the friends now and I and I realized that that really was what was up and I said okay baby I tell you what um I talked to her mother and I said you don’t ever have to come and spend the night with me anymore I want you to come when you can and when you want to and all that stuff you know that kid has never come and spent a night at my house since and that was like seven years ago but uh she called me and we’d hang out a lot and uh anyway uh uh a couple years ago I was uh uh I said to her uh sweetheart you know how you’re uh oh I I said to her um you remember when we had this conversation I said did you feel when I said that you could go and and do what it was that you wanted to do that what I was doing was I was abandoning my fatherly uh job she paused for a second she said well no dad I I felt that what happened is is that I was now socially Adept and I needed to find my way and you wanted to support me in doing that and I thought it was the most loving thing probably that you’ve done and um then I asked her I said are you willing to be a double agent now I said you know how I your stepmother works with my guys I’ve got lots of guys who have teenage daughters who are having trouble or doing this or that if I give them your phone number will you tell them the truth and so now she works as covert agent also and guys I give them the her phone number and uh you know this is after they’ve spent a zillion dollars in therapy and they’ve been to you know this and that and another thing and they’re getting all the samplings from all the different people and they call my daughter and they come back to me and they say you know the kid told me the truth these are the prayers I have for you these are the hopes that I have for you um so let’s switch gears a little bit now that we’ve got the family stuff done um our co-founder Bill had this dramatic white light experience and uh and then the book comes out and in the in the meetings everybody’s waiting for their turn to have one and they’re comparing their insides to Bill story to his his white light experience and they’re waiting for it and if they don’t get it they’re they’re they’re feeling like they they haven’t gotten the whole deal and uh bill was very very clear later in his life he got very very articulate about this about this idea of what William James called the educational variety a gradual unfolding of an experience James said that the uh that the folks that have the dramatic type what happens is is that experience has been gestating incubating in their hearts and their minds and then something happens and all of a sudden bam they get it in other people it’s the same gestation but it’s just not as sudden Wilson talked about the only difference between the two types he believed was in the time Factor because the results it’s in the fruits of the experience that it’s validated and the fruit of his experience was not drinking and he said there is no experience he says you he always used to tell this story about you know You’ be sitting in a meeting and a guy will say he’ll be up there taking his first year cake and he’ll go I don’t have the spiritual angle on this program I haven’t seen any white light and then he’ll go through and he’ll talk about how the fact that he hasn’t had anything to drink that his wife’s happy to see him when he comes home that his employer pleased with the work that he does that his children speak to him in complete sentences um and he says and those of us who know we there is that is it that is the spiritual EXP experience and he just hasn’t gotten to the point that he can put it into those words yet and so each and every man that is here today has had a spiritual experience we’re all here and we’re sober and so what I’d like you to do in your group is I’d like you to talk about your experience now with some of you that I know that in a group this size there’s a few guys that have had a dramatic flash you know I mean it’s just a numbers game um and there are other people that have had as it talks about in we agnostics that been one moment when we’ve beheld a flower and we’ve known and with others it was maybe the first time that your child walked across the room in a long time and put their head against your chest or it may just be the moment that you thought that maybe my sponsor isn’t bludgeoning me that what he’s doing is he’s loving so what I’d like to do because I think that this is a very important thing let’s spend three minutes again in silence and then uh and then we’ll uh yeah let’s can we do the picture after after the group yeah let’s um let’s do this let’s let’s um or no no we’re going to break up anyway we we’ll go do the picture but let’s let’s bring our hearts and Minds together for a moment and let’s ask you know that we be that we’d be open so that in your group you can talk about your personal experience this is uh a Jay the alcoholic thank you this is uh from Bill Wilson’s letter to Carl Yung my release from the alcohol Obsession was immediate at once I knew I was a free man shortly following my experience my friend eie came to the hospital bringing me a copy of William James’s varieties of religious experience this book gave me the realization that most conversion experiences whatever their variety do have a common denominator of ego collapse at depth the individual faces an impossible dilemma in my case the Dilemma had been created by my compulsive drinking and the Deep feeling of hopelessness had been vastly deepened by my doctor it was still deepened more by my alcoholic friend when he acquainted me with your verdict of hopelessness respecting Roland in the wake of my spiritual experience there came a vision of a society of Alcoholics each identifying with and transmitting uh his experience to the next chain style if each sufferer were to carry the news of the scientific hopelessness of alcoholism to each New Prospect he might be able to lay open every newcomer to the transforming spiritual experience this concept proved to be the foundation of such success as alcoholics anonymous has achieved this has made conversion experiences nearly every variety reported by James available on almost a wholesale basis our sustained recovery over the last quarter Century number about 300,000 in America and throughout the world there are today 8,000 groups so to you to Dr Shoemaker of the Oxford groups to William James and to my own physician Dr silkworth we owe we of AA owe this tremendous benefaction as you will now clearly see this astonishing chain of events actually started long ago in your Consulting room and it was directly founded upon your own humility and deep perception uh very many thoughtful AA students uh are attracted to your writings because of your conviction that man is something more than intellect emotion and $2 worth of chemicals you have especially endeared yourself to us uh you how our society grew developed its traditions for Unity and instructor functioning will be seen in the text and pamphlet material that I am sending you you will also be interested to learn that in addition to the spiritual experience many AAS report a great variety of psychic phenomena the cumulative weight of which is very considerable other members have following their recovery in AA been much helped by your practitioners a few have been intrigued by the eing and your remarkable introduction to that work please be certain that your place in the affection and in the history of the fellowship is like no other sincerely to so what we did earlier is we talked about our experience we go around talking about faith but faith faith I think is entirely overrated we have experience we have experience uh couple stories about about mine um I was uh about 8 months sober and I was sitting in the uh in the meeting uh the two plus two meeting of Alcoholics Anonymous at the Westwood Community Church on lrange and Westwood Boulevard I was uh I was in amends I was sponsoring people um and uh I was sitting there and I was listening to a woman speak and her name was Liz Lusty and Liz was talking and she talked about how that alcohol stripped from her everything that makes a human being a human being and that what she became was an animal and when she said that that last word the room left and I was sitting there I had the consciousness of sitting in my seat of the chair and a vague sense of the room but it was all gone and there was nothing but a vast white light and uh and my head said oh maybe this is an LSD flashback and uh my heart said no pay attention and as I sat there the feeling that I had it wasn’t it wasn’t words really it was a feeling and the feeling was that everything is known and that everything is perfect and that everything is connected but we got an eight month sober guy involved here so in my mind I formulate a question because I I I I understood that I was in the presence of whatever is and I said well in my mind I said what about war and the feeling I had was don’t worry I got it and so I sat there in that for another minute and then because I’m involved I come up with another question I started to ask a question about abortion in the back of my head it started to come up I’m asking another question in in the presence of all knowledge and the feeling was I I couldn’t even quite phrase it in my mind it was I got it and I sat there and I don’t know if I was there for 8 minutes or 12 minutes this was only a 20-minute talk the speaker was giving and uh before she finished um gradually gradually gradually the room started to come back in and and this particular Church Podium that the speaker’s in had his here and there’s three stained glass windows and the the GL stained glass windows were the first thing that came into my into my sight and the windows say God is love and then gradually the room came back and I looked around and it was very obvious that nobody else had that experience and I was afraid you know and I sat there and uh and somehow um the intuitive voice inside of me said you know just be quiet now there’s something to be said about spiritual secrecy you know when you’re on the path don’t go putting your neck out when you know with folks that aren’t going to be supportive of it you know it’s like going and telling people that you buy dope from that you’re sober you know they’ll just go oh here have a free one you know so you know spiritual secrecy is important as we build as we build our ourselves up I didn’t tell anybody about that for about 3 weeks and then late at night at the coffee bar I mentioned it to an old timer and he said yeah kid this stuff happens all the time don’t worry about it we don’t talk about it in the meetings because um we don’t want to the newcomer um and so I did I said something once maybe a couple weeks later a meeting and a guy called me a liar and came over a chair at me and AA in those days there were chairs flying and people grabbing and folks guys had stand on their chair and share it was it was an exciting time we weren’t quite as civilized as we are now and uh and then I went and I found my old Parish priest and I told him what happened and he said uh he said to me uh and he had his his a childhood friend there with him that was also a priest and and he said yeah kid that’s he said I’ve had he said I wish that that was my story he said but it’s not and he said but I’ve had a couple of parishioners over the years tell me about these things and that sounds like what it is that he said that’s that’s the real deal and his his friend worked at a seminary down in Texas and he said come with me now he said I’ll get you a scholarship you need to go to work being a professional gu person and I went uhuh no thank you because I knew that that with my ego that that was not something that I should I should be doing I had another experience where I was I was it was not long after this maybe three or four months after our stag meeting we were standing there was a new guy and my friend John clear and uh I had my hand on clear and I’m talking to the new guy and I’m going and uh you know God is as real as we are right here and I touched him on the chest and we all three went and and the newcomer hit the door running my friend John looked at me and I looked at him and he left and like 3 weeks later he quit going to AA cuz he knew that he had this had a spiritual experience and he didn’t need to go come anymore eight years later when he came back to Alcoholics Anonymous and I reminded him of this experience after he’d been sober for about six months he said that when he took the first drink the memory of that vanished he remembered that something happened but the experience vanished from him my great Shame about that experience and how I processed it is not that I was quiet about it I knew that I could go running after it and I could and I could go you know but I said no no this was a free gift that came to me and it came to me in Alcoholics Anonymous and so I have stayed in Alcoholics Anonymous as a way of being faithful to that experience but up until about 9 years ago I lived my life basically as a faithful member of Alcoholics Anonymous and not in the awareness of that experience having happened to me not living every moment as if everything is known it’s okay and we are all it’s all connected and uh and then about nine years ago a friend of mine was talking to Father Terry who’s a professional God person and uh he uh he was describing somebody else’s experience and I went oh I guess I should start to talk about mine and so I do it when I come on Retreats and I do it if I talk you know on Sunday morning at a at a convention but I don’t really talk about it in AA much except when it’s on topic but my experience is that um now everybody in here knows that the reason that you don’t want to do a third step is that the last thing that you want to ever do is end up being a missionary in a third world world country right cuz it’s not cool now cool is you know lying in the gutter in your own urine right but I don’t want to end up being a missionary in some third world country well when I was 20 years sober I went off to a place that I that I that I go and I I went with uh I met with uh this spiritual director and and I was I was trying to see uh whether being involved in this Retreat stuff was my ego or whether it was a real calling and I felt it was a calling and so I went to this man who uh and you know I I I spent a week there in silence and we’d get together and um and he said you know after three days he said no kid it’s all right go ahead go ahead and I’ll help you so um but while I was up there I I turn my you know I mean you know when you have these moments I mean when you turn one year sober and five years sober and 10 and 15 and 20 and 25 you know these big moments of course they’re no more important than the day but you know honor it honor this experience that we’re having so I turned my life well over the care of God and you know very profound way and sober man goes back home to Southern California and uh and I’m sitting there a few weeks later I’m sitting in this church now when I say church I’m not saying what you think I’m saying but I’m sitting at this place that I went to get fed guy was a contemplative and uh very very helpful to me very very helpful to me and it was in in that place that I met father keing and um so anyway I’m I’m sitting at this place and a guy gets up and he goes I just came back from vacation in bise I met a guy who I think’s really cool and he’s working with a refugee community on the Guatemalan border and they said that that they gave him land this woman gave him land and we can build a church for this guy and I think it would be really good to give him a center of operations and what it’ll really be is it’ll be a community center and blah blah blah blah blah so I’m sitting there now I and my head goes oh well that would be really fun for somebody else I don’t got the time and I don’t got the money and so I uh I’m but the problem is I’ve been meditating for a number of years by this time and I know that my head is really useless for most important things I mean even the food choices it makes are really mostly stupid if I if I listen to it and uh and so I uh so I go oh yeah I just got done turning my will and my life over so I stand up I’ll go so I go home to the nice Jewish wife and say I’m going to build a house for down Central America I don’t have time don’t have money she looks at me and she says my darling if you can’t leave that business for two weeks to go and have that experience that business isn’t worth having she says ask your customers they’ll send you just for entertainment value so I did and they came up with the money and they all had the same in prayer don’t let him touch any power tools they know me so I go down with this group and I’m down on the Guatemalan border when I say B I’m not saying what you think I’m saying man I’m not talking about the ks and string bikinis I’m talking about you know people that are that are busy moving like 30% of our brothers and sisters in Latin America are moving in one way or another out of one place to another trying to find some place that they can stay stay long enough and so what we were doing down there is trying to help people to stay to get a school to get some some some stuff going so I’m down there for about three days now I go to AA wherever I am I always go to meetings wherever I am and so and I’m starting to look at my fellow volunteers and evaluating their level of spiritual awareness and I realized that it’ probably be a good idea for me to go to an AA meeting so I walk up to this Guatemalan priest and I say YCO alcoholics and and he dissolved into tears and he goes and there in the middle of the Jungle in Central America that man told me his story and I told him mine and every place that I have gone in the past 29 years when I’m thinking that I’m doing something for this creative principle God as I understand God what do I get I get you I get alcoholics synonymous you know I just happen to be on the dummy Squad you know I mean I’m always getting hit with the pig stick you know and because the only reason that I do this work is because I I I can tell a story and that I’m willing to share myself it’s in our Brokenness that we are useful sober man is good for many things but it’s my scar tissue that is helpful that is really helpful now if you could do anything in the world God calling um if you could do anything in the world what would you do what would you do would you drink socially and be able to date the twins is that what you’d want to do I asked myself that um I asked me that myself that every New Year’s now and a number of years ago what came to me was that uh that meditation had been so um helpful to me that I wanted to do whatever I could to help introduce people to that now you’ve heard me talk a little bit about the Oxford Group and there was a guy by the name of Frank Bookman was a guy that got the Oxford Group rolling and in 1938 they changed the name to to moral rearmament and in 1935 over the weekend of December 1st 2nd and third this worldwide network of people that he was involved with they put radio broadcasts in every nation in the world in that language trying to get people to meditate to what they called listening for guidance so that they could get their representatives to stand down the most outlandish thing I ever heard of the most outlandish thing I ever heard of and uh and anyway what I uh what I did was I uh in in homage to him I started a uh I got together with my spiritual teacher and I started a a website and it’s called guess what three minutes the number three minutes of silence.

Org the number three minutes plural of silence. org and uh and what we do is is that we try to get together we get together every year at one day one moment the same time for three minutes folks all over the planet to um spend three minutes in silence in any form of meditation prayer or personal reflection that we might find an answer that is above party above class above religion above faction above Race and above nation and that we may have Justice whereby we see not only uh others difficulties but our own and that we uh might Bridge seemingly impossible and humanly hopeless situations those are bookman’s lines and uh and on it there’s this wheel and there are a dozen different meditative practices there’s this little Labyrinth here for walking meditation and if you were to click it you could go to Estus Park Colorado and they would talk about the Labyrinth that’s here for you to walk or any place that you are you can find a walking meditation um for the the chanting of om I’ve got a friend of mine tenzen prahari who’s a venerable monk chanting om uh on the on the uh on this wheel here I’ve got some stuff from The Janes their meditative practice marvelous the oldest Hindu sack incredible what they’ve got I’ve got some wonderful Sufi stuff here at the 7:00 hour there’s the thing from initiatives of change about how to listen it’s the meditative practice that Dr Bob and Bill and all the early members were taught I put it in modern language but it’s and it’s all in our in our big book but it’s it’s the actual wording and structure the way that they did it and it’s a writing meditation if you say oh I can’t I can’t be quiet well it’s a way of being able to get into contact with your interior self and then the one uh one that I want to recommend to you is on the third hour it’s an infinity symbol and if you click on that there’s my friend dolsey Smith uh who’s been a student of Joel gold smith for the past 30 years doing the awareness exercise and it’s a 10-minute guided meditation to try and and then if you do it like if you try doing it every day or once or twice a week it’s a real good way to learn how to get that split because when we’re quiet what happens is is that first shift between our mind and our awareness and which is the one you know and so it’s a one ful thing and you just click on it and you can download it or you can listen to it it’s it’s but I did that and what happened is is that I’ve had a wonderful wonderful experience in in going along and and and trying to say hey come this way but again try it like you drank try it like you used there’s all kinds of stuff the only thing that’s necessary is that you take the first step you know there the the big lie about meditation is that somehow it’s air fairy fairy it’s not it’s blue collar all you do is clock in and clock out put your ass in the seat for three minutes and see what happens and see what happens and it’s a great great adventure it’s a wonderful wonderful thing and uh and along this path you know you’ll meet teachers now our friend Dave uh is the gatekeeper to my friend keing he’ll be happy to tell you about uh keing and about the uh about the centering prayer method which is a wonderful wonderful thing and especially if you’re uh from a uh Christian background it’s a it’s a really wonderful way to go um but I want to talk about my current terrorizing men because it’s a lot of fun to do earlier in the meeting we were talking about what can I take home I would how many guys here have rits you know and uh and wives and girlfriends yeah oh two bagger here honey would you put the wig on tonight um spiritual practice uh it’s amazing how shallow I am I just love it once I embraced it it was it was all okay um but uh but anyway I implore you you know in the book it says we beg of you and you we’re talking about what can we take home when you go home go to your loved one and say honey I want to watch Oprah with you okay not that not that I want to tell you something’s going on and this man eart TOA that the boys are going to be studying this amazing master who I believe saved my wife’s life who I have spent seven years studying his stuff who is the only person that I have been able always to recommend to anybody in the fellowship because he doesn’t use medieval language at all maybe says God once an hour uses the word love occasionally because it’s all been so warped and he gives very very clear clear simple Direction on being present this woman opra Winfrey 5 years ago picked his book The Power of Now up and made it one of her book selections and a lot of people really not responded to it uh then this latest book that he’s come out with the power of or uh A New Earth um she made that a selection and it’s amazing what it is that is happening this man who I believe is like my friend Thomas keing tikn Han I mean the guys who uh Pim you know so that we make sure that you understand that there is a feminine aspect also um that uh Maryann Williamson um there’s just a lot of folks that have got this but this is a guy that’s got it and he’s very very clear she is getting together once a week and they’re reading the book they they they’ve got he actually helped her put together a study guide and what you can do is you can help to make your home a spiritual Powerhouse and you don’t have to say all you have to do is say honey you know that woman that you think’s pretty cool that I’ve been denigrating for the past two decades can we watch her together and you go to oprah.com and you can download it this is week eight but you can download it so you got it on your on your hard drive you buy the book you read the thing and then you watch them talk and what they’re doing is is they’ve hooked in with Skype and people all over the planet are doing this thing at the same moment they’ve had over 14 million downloads and they’re being quiet for like 15 seconds which you know in broadcast media is an eternity and there are all these people throughout the planet that are coming together and there’s some good solid spiritual Direction and practice that you can get that’s really easy and it’s not a big leap and it’s presented very very simply and very very lovingly and these people from all over the worlds are coming in and they’re calling and they’re asking questions you know like people that are Evangelical Christians calling in and saying I can’t reconcile the language you use with this and he said well don’t wor throw my book away he said get any book by Joel Goldsmith it uses the Christian nomenclature for exactly the same thing or people calling up and asking him questions about their children or their relationships and you know and it’s just it’s just incredible and so I really really hope that you know that you take advantage of that and then if you can stop and join in with with the boys and and and and go through the process with them it will be amazing and it’s only like 10 weeks 12 weeks long and what happens is that shift will happen and once it happens it’s just like getting sober man it’s it’s on it’s on and uh this is the journey this is the journey there is no top and out in the 11th step and you are surrounded with weirdos like Michel Roger that will be more than happy to show you you know they’re just like the guy with all the psychedelics here try this try this try this try this oh you didn’t like that try this oh here the mushrooms try the mushrooms okay you know I mean you’re not going to be hurt in the spiritual search unless you get around people that tell you that Alcoholics Anonymous is a lower form of understanding um I want to read you one thing from uh man who had a lot to do with the establishment of the consciousness of Alcoholics Anonymous in Southern California and as we know it and my friend Gil makes his CDs available it’s uh Chuck Chamberlain uh a new pair of glasses and it’s a and it’s an it’s a wonderful wonderful piece um he was an amazing Force an Alcoholics Anonymous and uh Chu had this to say he said there is only one problem in this life one problem that includes all problems and one answer that includes all answers I am totally convinced that the only roadblock between me and you and me and God is the human ego the only roadblock there is I further believe that the best definition you’ll ever hear of the human ego is the feeling of conscious separation from from what from everything conscious separation from God from each other and eventually from ourselves and what’s the solution the solution for me is an alcoholic synomous is in the 11th step in the 12th step in the first and the second the third and the fourth um don’t ever fire anybody if God sends them to you you can’t hurt him you can’t hurt them and who are we to throw anyone away always answer the phone there is no conflict with spiritual truth always say yes and everybody always goes well they’re going to say that I have to go set up they ask me to set up chairs New Year’s Eve if you’ve got a commitment to your family you have a commitment it’s okay and there is no conflict there there is no conflict there but always say yes always say Yes um say a couple more words and then I want to seal this with h five minutes of quiet my cards up here with the the website my phone number my email address I have no idea why we were together this weekend but I know that I am responsible and that if you ever want to talk all I’m really going to tell you is do you have a sponsor are you sponsoring people are you say but I’m I I am available um and it’s it’s my great privilege and if you come through Los Angeles call me or if there’s somebody you know who’s coming I’ll make sure you get to a good AA meeting you know and uh and if it’s a woman my wife will do the same uh the holiest place in the world is being in the birthing room the second holiest place is being in the room where it gives the appearance that someone is dying but the third holiest place is at the kitchen table turn in Pages sharing the message of Alcoholics Anonymous each and every man in here there is a Life whom you are destined to save and if you’re not in the meeting if you’re not making yourself available what will happen when that man comes through the door you can’t hurt him open your heart and have the experience of sitting there when a man goes oh my gosh this will work for me I am like that I can do this with God’s help to be there at the second birth is the most amazing experience that anyone can can have and it is a worthwhile ride of excitement talk to any of us that have been around for a little while you know it’s in a marvelous marvelous thing I uh love this piece it’s attributed to our Hy brothers and I think it probably uh is a wonderful wonderful expression of the uh Parker men’s stag uh this supposedly was written just after uh 911 you have been telling people that this is the 11th hour now you must go back and tell the people that this is the hour and there are things to be considered where are you living what are you doing what are your relationships are you in right relation where is your water know your garden it is time to speak your truth create your community be good to each other and do not look outside yourself for the leader this could be a good time there is a river flowing very fast it is so great and so Swift and there are those who will be afraid they will try to hold on to the shore they will feel they are being torn apart they will suffer greatly know the river has a destination the elders say we must let go of the shore push off into the middle of the rivers keep our eyes open and our heads above the water see who is there with you and celebrate at this time in history we are to take nothing personally least of our ourselves for the moment we do our spiritual growth comes to a halt the time of the Lone Wolf is over gather yourselves banish the word struggle from your attitude and your vocabulary all that we do now must be done in a sacred Manner and in celebration we are the ones that we have been waiting for thank you let’s do five minutes of silence thank you for listening to sober Sunrise if you enjoyed today’s episode please give it a thumbs up up as it will help share the message until next time have a great day