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Whether you join us in the morning or at night, there's nothing better than a sober sunrise. We hope that you enjoy today's speaker. I would now like to introduce Scott G from >> Laguna Niggo.

Hi, I'm Scott G. Scott Gimble from the podium. I'm originally from Chicago by way of Lagona Niguel, California.

>> And I'm a recovered alcoholic on top of all that. And since I complied with the AA tradition of showing up in a suit and tie, I'm going to kind of just do this right here. let it all hang out.

All right. Um I'm really humbled and grateful to be speaking here tonight and thank you for asking me, Bob. It's just an honor and a pleasure and um it's about the top of my list on things that I want to be doing.

Um Alcoholics Anonymous means everything to me. It's uh it saved my life and um the opportunity to share the message that I've learned um just puts me on a a real high, a real sober high. And uh I'll share a little bit about that with you.

Um yeah, I'm originally from Chicago. Um, I was sharing with one of the young men over there uh earlier that I'm from Rush Street, Chicago as well. I grew up there in the red light district and uh I got here in uh December of 1985.

I was on geographical from Chicago to uh California because I thought you guys had clean living out here and you know get away from the other substances which I'll stick to alcoholism because you guys didn't I didn't know that you had that same kind of thing out here. I wouldn't have ordered all that stuff from back there then. And uh thank God for FedEx, you know.

But uh you know when I always go to new groups I I uh I I groups that I just visit the the old-timers they look like newcomers and the the newcomers they look like old-timers. So I don't know who to who who to buddy up with. So I'm cuz I'm always chasing the newcomer down.

I I want I want to see the newcomer and I want to get their name and I want to take names and uh uh see if I can carry the message. Um like I said, I got sober in December 1985 on a geographical uh my father uh introduced me to the program Alcoholics Namas when I was 11 years old as he was a recovered alcoholic. Um, so I kind of grew up with the program.

Uh, I had 10 years of hard hard drinking by the age of 21 and um, I was definitely done and I wanted sobriety very much. um my way didn't work and at that young age I'd already been I I moved out of the house when I was 13 14 years old and and uh sold stereoss for a living and uh aluminum siding and uh all kinds of stuff that I can incorporate into my drinking life. And uh when I got sober, you know, I heard messages that if I was to go to a lot of meetings, 90 meetings in 90 days, or in my case, it ended up to be about 3,000 or so meetings that um I was going to be a success.

And um about year four or five of my sobriety um I wasn't feeling that. I suffer from alcohol ism and although the alcohol wasn't in my body anymore, I had gotten rid of that part of the problem, the ism was. And I didn't want to understand what that was because I thought that having a lot of time under my belt or at that time a lot of time was going to work.

And uh as things progressively rolled along, you know, I wasn't putting the booze in the belly anymore, but I was, you know, kind of wanted to get more out of life than a bunch of AA meetings. And I, you know, I went and went out in the world and and and kind of grew a big bis business into a big business and got away from the problems of uh not having any money and you know, money, property, and prestige diverted me from my primary purpose. But I didn't know what my primary purpose was.

And uh about year six or seven, I had very very wellto-do guy. and uh you know I had everything that money could buy but I didn't treat the ism in the alcoholm part and um yeah I started to get a little bit full of myself and you know all along I I didn't really pay attention to the steps. I didn't uh uh uh pay attention to the basic text the 164 pages.

So, I thought those were for people that needed to learn more about how to stay sober. And I already knew how to stay sober. I just didn't know how to stay unc crazy.

And I was still sick with untreated alcoholism. And in not treating my alcoholism, eventually we do the the thing that we're most apt to do, which is what I did. Alcoholics do one thing well, drink.

And um didn't happen like that. You know, uh problems began to mount up seriously. Uh business lawsuits started to fly in the door just about on a daily basis.

I couldn't believe it. You know, I was just looking at that and um I had uh married a gal and um that marriage was not a marriage at all. We were barely married a year and I promptly uh got a higher power in the program which was uh uh a newcomer.

I I worked the 13th step and uh I got I got her uh as my new higher power. So my mistress was my higher power. My business was failing.

I had no god in my life. I never worked a step in continuity or you know I stayed stuck on the four step for a hundred years. and and um I didn't want to drink again.

I really didn't want to drink again and um I ended up in a mental institution because I had the classic nervous breakdown. I couldn't handle life without drinking, but I wasn't willing to get myself through the steps to get to God in order to solve the ism. I was in purgatory, you know, I had a lot of time under my belt and that's for whatever that meant.

But I had untreated alcoholism and I was, you know, everyone would say, "Ask Scott, go to Scott." You know, you know, I had all the answers, but I didn't know what the question was. you know, the booze is out of my belly and I'm no further along than the first day I was sober. So, uh, I kind of make a long story short, had gotten to the point where, uh, I had expressed to one, uh, person that I I really loved and trusted and we were sober together and I just said, you know, um, I just want to kill myself.

I just want to, you know, I came to work one day. It was normal. Um, I couldn't handle it anymore.

I couldn't hack life. I couldn't deal anymore. I I I didn't want to drink and I didn't want to stand up as a newcomer.

My pride and ego were just so full of myself that I would rather die than drink again and report back that, you know, I'm taking a newcomer chip. and uh I wasn't going to have it. So I ended up in a mental institution and you know mistress came over you know about a week after that and said I I I don't think this relationship is working out too well.

You know let me have it. I'm in a safe place. You know if you're going to break up with somebody what safer place is there than a mental institution.

You know they got all the treatment they can get. you know, they're they're just safe as heck, you know, I'll just call the psychiatrist and after she left and, you know, and talk about it. And uh so, you know, I got out of there and I got home and I was still having nervous breakdown after nervous breakdown of anxiety every day.

I couldn't I couldn't even get out of the house. I remember one morning I was in the bathroom. I wanted to drink so bad.

Now that they had put some, you know, psychotic drugs into my body, I figured I just had kind of a mini slip. I might as well go all the way. And uh I just remember rocking myself with my knees to my chest on the floor of this bathroom to get the courage to get up and try and get out of the house, you know.

And eventually I drank again. And uh of course I would. I'm an alcoholic and that's what we do.

But I stayed out for 12 years and and as an alcoholic that knows what he is and the type of drinking that I did, it was a heavy 12 years. You know, it wasn't light. Um eventually got a divorce and um so I was kind of free just to do whatever I wanted to do and there wasn't too many people that cared about me anymore.

Everybody in the program were kind of huddled in their masses of fellowship. They had stopped reaching out to me and I didn't care anyway. I wanted to be drinking once I was stuck there.

I didn't want I didn't know how to get back here anyway. Didn't want to get back here. I thought if I came back, I was headed for another 3,000 meetings and that wasn't going to do it.

I was scared, you know, I was full of fear. I'm going to go to another meeting and somebody's going to c talk about their dead cat or their divorce and I'm not going to I'm going to feel like I feel so uh eventually it really started to catch up with me to uh an implosion level of alcoholism and addiction as well. And I had bet my my wife in 1998.

And I remember when we got together my wife's here with me tonight, my best friend. And we had gotten together and she said, "My sister's coming over today. You're going to meet my sister.

She's very Christian." I'm like, "Oh sh, you know, I'm all getting all tight. You know, I got to need a drink for that." And uh and she says, "By the way, I think we're drinking too much." And I says, "You're I love this girl and she's going to leave cuz now she's on to me. Now she's got my number." But despite that, I kept on going.

And you know, I kind of toned it down the best I could. You know, before I'd see her, I'd get after and you know so amongst other things and try to contain it the best we can while we're trying to one of the slogans is fake it while I'm drinking and make it or I don't know what what what I was doing just trying to I want the girl I want the booze I want the money I want all this stuff and I can't have it all because I'm an alcoholic and what what what occurred is just a massive meltdown in about 2005 and we had a beautiful daughter and we were very successful in our businesses and um my wife wanted to have another baby. We went out to dinner on this conversation and I said, "Uh, can't do it.

I'm an alcoholic and I'm not going to stop drinking right now. Waitress brings over another double vodka to the table. I I'm looking at this thing.

I can't even pick it up. I'm sick. I've been drinking all day.

I'm sick now. Selfish. Self-centered and selfish.

Isn't that what we are when we're doing our thing and even when we get a little bit sober because we haven't gotten through these steps yet? And I had been working with a guy or talking to a guy that I grew up with from Dallas, Texas, who today is my sponsor. And I, you know, I drank into another two years until 2007, October of 2007 when everything started to hit me hard and I was just tearing up everybody around me.

And I was in the bathroom at work one day and half my body seized up um from being loaded on everything. Um I said, "I'm going to die if I don't do something. So, in 2007, I started working with this guy.

He had 15 years of sobriety down in Dallas, Texas. His uh my sponsor, his name is Tom Pick. And he won't mind me telling you his name from the podium.

And we had a similar story because Tom had 15 years of sobriety and he went out and drank. And he was going to meetings and going to meetings and saying at these meetings, you know, guys, I don't know if it's going to be today. Hey, I don't know if it's going to be tomorrow.

I don't know when it's going to be, but I'm going to drink again and there's nothing going to come between me and that drink. Then he went out and remember he called me up and says, you know, I kind of went out, you know, I kind of didn't. Do you think I'm a newcomer?

And I had been, you know, drinking all day that day. And I'm like, you're asking me? I says, "You know, if you're going to ask me, you're going to answer that question." Tommy called me up about a month after he got out of treatment somewhere in ' 06, and he couldn't talk right.

I said, "Are you sure you're sober?" He says, "Yeah, I've been sober for like 40 days." I says, "Dude, you're slurring your words. You can't speak grammatical sentences. I'm really worried.

I'm worried that you did brain damage this time and um couple months after that we talked again and he was getting better quickly. So kind of the seed was planted of who I could call if I decided I ever wanted this thing again. And uh I did I'd been working with a leading psychologist, a PhD in well known in Southern California about you know drugs, alcohol and depression and I'd go to his office every week for a couple years and on he'd say on one hand we can get sober and life will get better and on the other hand we can stay crazy.

And I said, "Well, if that's the question, I'll tell you next week." The answer, and then I'd leave those sessions and go out and drink. I wasn't ready after all this stuff. I wasn't ready after all this stuff, you know.

And um finally, I saw myself going to lose my family, my wife. I could tell she was getting a little bit healthier than as sick as I was, she was going to be healthier and she's about ready to take it out the door and throw my ass out the door. And that wasn't the reason I got sober, though.

I knew that in my years of sobriety, there was some semblance of peace and tranquility without alcohol. But I was scared to come back. I tried to come back between 05 and 07 probably three or four different times in the mass periods of sobriety that were meaningless.

You know, u I'm a quitting fool when it came to putting the drink down. I just pick it up. I couldn't make the decision.

You know, page 24 talks about we lost the power of choice and drinking. didn't understand the very basic thing in the first step of our book that I was incapable of making the decision to put alcohol down that I was incapable of having the choice. The choice left me long before the alcoholism started.

The drinking alcoholism, I had no choice. I would swear off every day. Every day I swore off in the morning when I'd be in the shower.

I'd swear off today I'm not drinking. I'd be drunk by noon, 2 o'clock. Sure as hell I'd come back in into the office and everyone would just kind of part ways like the Red Sea because they knew, you know, here he is and he's drunk.

I remember one of my employees, you know, we like to play God when we're drinking and I decided that I'm going to go back and fire her and she says, "You can't fire me. You an alcoholic. And I said, "I'm still the boss." As crazy as it was, you know, and u you know, you could call it high functioning, low functioning.

My bottom was deep and low. And I wasn't too sure about that bottom when I was 21. Although it the stories, the war stories, which I don't tell from the podium.

I tell those one-on-one when I'm sponsoring somebody or somebody wants to hear about my experience with alcohol. Um it was deep enough. I am just amazed that I survived all these years with half a brain intact.

And uh so when I decided that I was done, done for good and all, they kind of formulated some kind of intervention on me, which would have been the second one in my life. And uh you know how they all have the letters waiting for you and you're gonna enter the room like on TV and you know they're all going to read to you how they want you to be sober and cuz you can't scare me into getting sober. You can't scare me into sobriety and you can't it wasn't going to happen.

So I let him off the hook cuz I was done. I was done. I came back from that psychologist session and he says where you're headed now is back to the office.

I said, "Yeah." He says, "There's a group of people waiting for you over there." I said, "Great." So, they started in on it. You know, my wife was there, too, and she was in tears. And of course, she's always in tears.

You could tell a funny joke. She's going to laugh. Here she is.

She's crying right now. And my partner says to me, says something like, "You know, I smoke marijuana every day. Why can't you control this?" You know, and My best friend says to me, you know, hey, you know, uh, you need a 30-day treatment, you know, and I was like, "Guys, I'm done.

Let's go. Take me to jail." You know, I needed a medical detox. And when I was there, I had talked to my sponsor, who's still my sponsor today, and he says, "You just go along with this deal.

You get the medical detox that you need." Cuz I was going to shake. I was going to shake and bake. There were other substances that I was doing, and it was going to be a madness.

And uh I was ready cuz I was done. And you know, I got to treatment and uh my six-year-old daughter, you know, her father had never been away. was the same little angel that I week before I got into treatment.

I got down on my hands and knees in front of her bed cuz she was the closest thing to God and I said, "Please God, help me cuz I want to be done. I just don't know how. I don't know how to do it." I tried 3,000 meetings.

I'm not I'm not knocking meetings. I am not knocking meetings but my sponsor told me some very important things. He said buddy we have a spiritual malady requires a spiritual solution.

That's the bottom line. The steps are going to get us to the spiritual solution. They're going to get you spiritually awake.

I was putting spirits in my body for all those years. now I need to replace the power of alcohol with the power of God. And he explained it that way.

He didn't use higher power with me. We had known each other for many years. I knew there was a God and I knew that I was about as far away from him as I could ever be.

And if I wanted to have him back at me, that I was going to have to ask him. But I said, "What do I need to do? You know, what what do I need to do that I haven't done before?" And he says, 'Well, I'm glad you asked that.

And uh he says, "When you get out of that treatment center, you're going to get on a plane. You're going to fly to Dallas, and we're going to go through the steps rapidly, quickly, lightning, and we're going to show you how to recover and get recovered." book says 13 times in this book. I'm a today I'm a self claimed big book thumper guys, you know, without this book I'm dead man.

And uh I got to this place that Tom had taken me to, you know, here we go again, another AA meeting, but this time I walk in the room and I see 250 people of the happiest, healthiest looking guys and gals I'd ever seen in my life. I mean, I didn't think I was in an AA meeting. I thought, you know, this was a pit stop.

Where are we? You know, these these people are really happy. I mean, and I'm like, you know, they're taking something, you know, they're on something.

And I I said to Tom, I says, "This is cool, man. What's up?" You know, and he told me, he says, "You know what? God's up.

All these people here have had a spiritual awakening. They study the book. We don't talk about our problems in meetings.

We don't talk about anything in a meeting except the solution. And we go out and we take this work to hospitals. We take this work to institutions.

And we carry the message to the little sick guy that's still suffering that needs to hear the solution and not what the problem is. And the problem is not alcohol. How long you been sober now, Scott?

I said, "Well, about 3 weeks." He says, "Alcohol is not your problem. Alcoholism is your problem. Untreated alcoholism is your exact problem.

And we're going to treat the malady. We're going to treat the spiritual condition, the internal condition that I've carried around since I can ever remember. That restless, irritable, discontent internal condition that my father had before me.

And and I just come to learn the other day that my his father had it before him. and my grandfather, my great-grandfather before him who stuck his head in an oven because he couldn't support the family. And you know, I'd learned a little bit more about alcoholism since I've been sober.

And that, you know, it's a genetic deal. Some most of this stuff is genetic. you know, not far from your family tree, there's some guy up there that was drinking away, you know, and treating his ism with alcohol, you know, and uh I I was scared about the God thing.

I was terrified because what if he had done his time with me and I ran out of God energy focus on me? What if he's going to take the other guy? You know, I didn't know.

I was just full of fear, you know. And uh we worked the steps fast, you know. Um 1 to nine, 3 days.

3 days. And uh I mean it was night and day really. And it was easy.

The first two steps were questions for me. There were easy questions to answer. Am I powerless over alcohol?

Heck yeah. Is my life unmanageable? Absolutely.

When I put the bottle, when I put the stuff into my gut, I change. I don't drink normal. I don't understand normies.

Half a glass and it can be done. That is just insanity to me. You know, some of you are laughing.

It's insanity to you, too. You're going to finish that glass and you're going to finish somebody else's glass. I know it.

I did it thousand times. You ain't going to finish that drink. What are you doing?

came to believe power greater myself could restore me to sanity. And Tom explained that it's not the insanity that after you put the drink in your body, the thing the behavior that I did, it's the insanity, the the the the definite obsession that I couldn't get rid of, the over and over obsession. Nobody obsesses about alcohol except, and my book says the real alcoholic.

You know, the book talks about the moderate drinker. the guy gets, you know, he can put it down. Wife says quit drinking or, you know, no nookie and he's putting that drink down, but he's, you know, cool.

Then the hard drinker who gets, you know, maybe he's got some problems headed at him, DUI and stuff and, you know, he's he he he he drinks hard and but he can put it down. He he can stop given sufficient reason. He can he can stop drinking.

And then there's the real alcoholic. That guy was me. It doesn't matter what the reason is.

I can't have a reason cuz it's not going to work out. I can't make the decision. I can't decide today I'm not going to drink cuz that doesn't work out.

It doesn't matter if my wife's going to leave me or my child is headed to grow up in another alcoholic household. That's not going to work out. The real alcoholic which I am has one solution which was the spiritual malady and the spiritual solution to the malady.

So we went through these steps and you know it was easy. It was easy. You know I didn't have a lot of stuff that I was unburied.

I wanted to get it all done. You know uh 10 11 and 12 are the you know, staying sober and taking the personal inventory every day. You know, I sit on the edge of the bed or when my wife is kind of fading out, I I I'll pick up my mental handbook and go, "Okay, who'd you harm today?

How angry did you get? And what who do you owe amends to?" But my primary purpose is like the fifth tradition to carry the message to the alcoholic who still suffers. Without that in my life today, um, I'm done.

I can't stay sober. Not for a minute. If I'm not, my intention isn't to find the alcoholic who wants help.

I'm not doing the work that I'm supposed to be doing in the 12th step. having had a spiritual awakening and I was awake because I had lost the obsession to drink after I went through those steps. The obsession left me and I don't know when it was.

I know it was about 10 15 days after I got back from Dallas totally. I wasn't thinking about drinking anymore. I wasn't thinking about anything anymore other than following directions.

these men and women. There's a lineage in uh Dallas. My home group is a primary purpose group of Laguna and Niguel.

And uh there's a strong lineage that uh exists in in the primary purpose group of my sponsor and then his sponsor Meyers and his sponsor Cliff and Cliff to Joe McHugh and then somewhere right there is Dr. Bob one or two away. And these guys are all staying sober and they're happy, joyous, and free.

And I want I wanted that. I don't want to be obsessed about alcohol anymore. I don't want to think about alcohol anymore.

I I I I want to be free. I I want to be happy without alcohol. Can it be possible?

And it was. You know, my business started to fail badly when I got sober, guys. I mean, it was just it's just it was like downhill.

I'm like, "Okay, I get sober and you punish me." You know, here we go down. You know, I'm going to lose everything. And I'm taking new guys into the office and I'm shutting my door.

I'm getting them out of meetings and I'm shutting my door and I'm going over steps. Boom. 1 2 3 4.

Let's go that fast. Cuz my sponsor says, you know, I'll call him up and, you know, say, "I got this going. I got that going." And he'll say to me, "Did you talk to God about it before you called me?" I'll lie.

Yeah. Yeah. Sure did.

You know, he God didn't tell me anything. What do you got? You know, and uh Okay.

Next. Here's what I want you to do. Go down to that treatment center.

It's about four blocks from your house. And find out and go upstairs and and get get a newcomer to work with. You know, I earmarked this page.

I I I I carry this book everywhere with me, the basic text. And you know page 14 bottom paragraph particularly it was imperative to work with others as he had worked with me. Faith without works was dead he said and how appallingly true for the alcoholic for an alcoholic failed to perfect and enlarge his spiritual life through work and self-sacrifice for others.

He could not survive the certain trials and low spots ahead. For me, that means life. The alcohol's gone.

I'm not going to survive the ups and downs of life if I'm not working with the other guys. You know, in Dallas, they get to work with women. First of all, in California, A, my wife wouldn't allow that, and B, it's not customary out here.

But I wouldn't be telling the truth if I was. If he did not work, he would surely drink again. And if he drank, he would surely die.

That's me. This is this guy they're talking about in this book is me. Then faith would be dead indeed with us is just like that.

My book tells me things about must. My thing My book tells me things about rapid. My book tells me that I'm recovered 13 times.

Talks about recovering one time in the book. I don't have a drinking problem today. I'm still dealing with the ism.

If I didn't have a spiritual awakening and I didn't do this work and I didn't get close to a higher power that I call God, I wouldn't be sober today because I am going through so much crap. I am telling you that I have a thousand reasons I could drink right now. And I don't have the obsession to.

I got the reason, but not the obsession. My dog is dying of cancer. My father just got out of a coma for the second time.

My business is failing. We don't know what we're going to do. These are great reasons to drink, aren't they?

They're wonderful. I could have gone out on that. I can't afford resentment, so I can't do the anger drinking and drink at you.

This program, the steps are a miracle that saved my bacon because I finally found after 3,000 meetings that it wasn't the meetings that were going to keep me sober. The fellowship is wonderful. I love you guys.

But book talks about we trust in infinite God, not finite self. If I'm going to call you up and and expect you to keep me sober, that's a tall order to put on you. I don't care if you have 30, 40, 50 years of sobriety because my mental condition is I'm an alcoholic.

And without a spiritual awakening and without working these steps, I'm doomed. It is just bad news for me. Alcohol is, you know, is it's killing more people than cancer and AIDS combined every year in the US.

And we come around these meetings and we we try and get the slogans fake it till you make it and one day at a time. And I can't do it one day at a time for myself. That's just me talking.

It's my opinion, my experience. I'm done. I'm done for good and all.

I was done when I got here. I'm done for good and all. And I am responsible to keep spiritually fit in order to maintain that dness.

I am responsible to to maintain that connection with God. Even if it's just getting on my knees and and don't even know what I'm saying. Yeah, I I'll use the third step prayer and I'll get into the book, but sometimes I can get so jammed up that I I I have no I can't even recall book page 24 says we can't recall the incomprehensible demoralization of even a week or a month ago that last bad drunk.

The further away I got from the drink in sobriety when I was dry, the closer I got to drinking without the steps. with the steps. I'm about as further away from the drink as I'll ever be.

With God, I I I do not think about alcohol. That is the miracle of the program. And I'm the real alcoholic.

I even look like one with his hat and everything. You know, the miracle for me is the fact that I can come home today and the dog is happy to see me and the kids are happy to see me and my wife is happy to see me other than storming through the door when I was a drunk. And no one wants to be around that and they're scared of dad.

The miracle for me today is the fact that I can get a hold of new guys and get them through the steps rapidly and watch them recover. The first 100 work these steps in rapid fashion and they didn't even have most of them. They had six of them.

You know, Bill failed miserably in his first six months trying to get guys sober. Bob had better successes. This was a trial and error.

Many of people came before us that died from this, whether they died sober or they died drunk. I keep a list of 31 people in the front of my big book that died from alcoholism that I met in the program of Alcoholics Anonymous. Most of them went out and drank again.

These were people that had been sober either short or long amounts of time, up to 25 years in one case. Without the psychic change guys and without the program alcoholics anonymous and without the steps and without a higher power there is no solution. Book says that we have to live the spiritual life.

It's not a theory. I try and do that to the best of my capability every day. Putting God first and foremost in front of me in my morning my prayer.

I can't wake up very good. You know, I still need four cups of coffee to get going. Um, but if it's just a prayer that says, "God, who can I help today?" Another cup of coffee.

Boom. I can get into some real prayer. Sometimes I don't have enough time to get into that prayer, but I make time.

I put everything aside for the guy that needs help. If I get a call, it doesn't matter what time, you know, if I got to run out. I do panels.

I do I've been speaking more and more about this stuff. Um, I don't do a lot of discussion meetings. We do a great big book study in Laguna Niguel.

It's out of Dallas. It's the primary purpose groups. Uh they've been around what 22 23 years now, right, Ang?

And the bottom line for me is that without that work, I'm done. I'm dead. I'm dead, man.

So I I will sacrifice anything and everything I can in order to get to carry this message to the alcoholic who still suffers and to those that want to get through the steps and not stay in the meetings and those that think that they don't have a connection with God can have one or higher power can have one through working the steps. I appreciate uh you giving me the opportunity to speak tonight and God bless you. Thank you for listening to Sober Sunrise.

If you enjoyed today's episode, please give it a thumbs up as it will help share the message. Until next time, have a great day. >>