AA Speaker – Yisrael C. – Toronto, Canada – 2018
Yisrael C., an AA speaker from Toronto, shares 38 years of sobriety—from a 16-year-old Irish-Italian kid in Philadelphia to an Orthodox Jew living in Jerusalem. A talk on sponsorship, service work, and spiritual growth.
Yisrael C., from Toronto via Philadelphia, got sober at 16 after a hit-and-run accident that felt like a direct sign from God. In this AA speaker meeting, he walks through nearly four decades in recovery—how a sponsor named Paul became his first connection to a power greater than himself, what service work and staying put in uncomfortable meetings taught him, and how the 12 Steps continued to transform him from a teenager stealing from a gas station into a father of four, a husband, and a man living a full spiritual life.
Yisrael C., sober 38 years, shares how he got to AA at 16 after a crisis and worked with a sponsor named Paul to understand that any two alcoholics together create a power greater than oneself. This AA speaker discusses the importance of staying in uncomfortable meetings, taking on service roles, and the ongoing spiritual awakening that comes from step work and sponsorship. He emphasizes that sobriety is only the beginning—the real work is fitting ourselves to be of maximum service through continued application of the 12 Steps and daily reprieve.
Episode Summary
Yisrael C. opens with humor and humility, announcing himself as a member of the Mediterranean group and joking about the tradition of anonymity—a thread that runs through this entire talk. He’s been sober for 38 years, and his journey spans from a troubled teenager in Philadelphia to an Orthodox Jewish man living in Jerusalem with a wife, four kids, and a full life in recovery.
The heart of his story begins at 16. A hit-and-run accident with a Catholic priest—which he describes as close to a burning bush moment—sent him to school the next day, where he threw up in the hallway. That night, desperate and hungover, he called a number in the phone book and reached a woman at the 319 Club. She offered him a choice: get there by 12:30 for a board meeting, or don’t come at all. He arrived at 2:30. There were three old-timers in the room. Two days later, a guy named Paul called him and invited him to another meeting. At that second meeting, sitting in a young people’s beginners group, Yisrael listened to other alcoholics share about their lives, their feelings, their spiritual condition. He caught alcoholism through his ears—as one sponsor later said, “It’s a contagious disease you catch through your ears.” By the end of that hour, he knew he was an alcoholic.
Paul became his first sponsor. The connection between them became a power greater than Yisrael—and this becomes a central teaching in his talk. He circles back repeatedly to the idea that he doesn’t need God in the abstract; he needs *another alcoholic*. Paul and him together created a power greater than himself. That’s how it started. That’s still how it works.
What makes this talk distinctive is Yisrael’s emphasis on service work and staying put. He tells a story about his 12th year sober in Los Angeles. He was attending a meeting at the Sundowners group—packed with rich, good-looking, and famous people. He felt deeply uncomfortable and decided to leave. But another voice in his head asked: what are you doing? You don’t leave a meeting of Alcoholics Anonymous because you’re uncomfortable. You get a job. He took on a small responsibility—candle buyer—and kept showing up. Over time, he worked his way through various roles and eventually became the secretary. One day, standing at the podium, it hit him: he was no longer intimidated by these people. He was just a man among men, equal to everyone in the room. He would never have learned that lesson had he walked out the door.
This connects to his sponsor’s counsel at around year 12. His sponsor—a big meditator—told him he needed another, deeper second-step experience. He needed to come to believe in a power greater than himself in a new way. Yisrael reflects on how he’s had to grow his spirituality over time. When he first got sober, he lived in his parents’ house. The power he needed then was small. Now he has a wife, children, a full life. He can’t live on the same spiritual fuel that sustained a 16-year-old. He’s had to expand his understanding, his practice, his connection.
He reads a passage from Bill W.’s writing in *The Language of the Heart*, titled “The Greatest Gift of All,” about spiritual awakening being the beginning, not the end. Sobriety is the bare beginning. The awakening must continue. Bit by bit, he’s been able to discard the old life and step into a new one—one that works under any conditions, regardless of success or failure, pain or joy, sickness or health. His life has transformed in ways his 16-year-old self couldn’t have imagined, and the program works the same for who he was then as it does for who he is now.
He also tells a detailed story about making amends to a man named Lou at a gas station where he worked as a teenager. Lou ran the place; Yisrael had stolen around $500 worth of gas and merchandise through various small schemes. Years later, sober and living in Florida, he committed to making amends. He went back to the station on a cold, rainy day, found Lou pumping gas, and confessed everything—the rigged pump, the stolen oil, the shorted bank. Lou’s response stopped him cold: Lou was a member of Gamblers Anonymous. Instead of punching him, Lou actually cut the debt in half, accepting $20 that night and $20 a month for a total of $200. The moment of connection, of grace, moved Yisrael deeply. And then, in the next breath, his mind started calculating whether Lou might have forgiven it entirely. That’s the speed at which his mind works, the reason he needs to stay in the rooms.
He emphasizes that the 12 Steps don’t end at step nine. Steps 10, 11, and 12 are the maintenance steps—they repeat. Step 10 asks us to continue taking personal inventory, and the very first thing we redo is resentment. Because we’re human beings first. No one—not Bill, not Bob, not anyone—has maintained perfect adherence to the principles. So we fall short, we get resentments, we have to clean them up again, and again.
The talk closes with a story—a Hasidic tale about the Baal Shem Tov, the 18th-century founder of Hasidic Judaism. A storyteller was commissioned to travel Europe telling stories of the Baal Shem Tov’s life and work. One day, searching for gold ducats, he found himself unable to remember a single story. Desperate, he began to leave, then recalled one seemingly insignificant tale. He told it to a nobleman who then revealed himself: he was a bishop, born into a rabbi family, who had converted to Christianity and participated in the persecution of his own people. He’d asked the Baal Shem Tov for forgiveness and was told to live a life of quiet good deeds; when someone came and told his story, he would know he’d been healed. The storyteller’s visit three days earlier—when he couldn’t remember—the bishop had recognized him. Now, hearing his own story told through the Baal Shem Tov’s words, the bishop knows he’s been forgiven and healed.
Yisrael closes with this: “And it’s here, and Alcoholics Anonymous more than anywhere else in the world for me, that I hear my story told, and you are the people that tell it. When you tell my story, I know that I’ve been forgiven and I’ve been healed. So I implore you, please, please come back and tell my story again.”
It’s a talk about connection, belonging, continued growth, and the power of showing up—to meetings, to service, to each other. His story is told so we know we’re forgiven.
Notable Quotes
I don’t need God in the abstract. Paul and I together are a power greater than myself. Any one of you and I are a power greater than myself.
You don’t leave a meeting of Alcoholics Anonymous because you’re uncomfortable. You get a job.
My problem is not living with alcohol. My problem is how do I live my life sober without that spring getting tighter and tighter in my gut and then just finally popping?
A daily reprieve contingent upon the maintenance of my spiritual condition—and I am responsible for the maintenance. What am I responsible for? I say my prayers. I call my sponsor. I reach out to others. I say yes when asked. The condition at the end is not my responsibility.
No one has been able to maintain anything like perfect adherence to these principles. So the first thing we need to do when we start on Step 10 is take resentment—because we’re human beings first.
When you tell my story, I know that I’ve been forgiven and I’ve been healed.
Step 10 – Daily Inventory
Sponsorship
Service Work
Spiritual Awakening
Topics Covered in This Transcript
- Step 2 – Higher Power
- Step 10 – Daily Inventory
- Sponsorship
- Service Work
- Spiritual Awakening
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Full AA Speaker Transcript
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welcome to sober Sunrise a podcast bringing you AA speaker meetings with stories of experience strength and Hope from around the world we bring you several new speakers weekly so be sure to subscribe we hope to always remain an adree podcast so if you’d like to help us remain self-supporting please visit our website at sober-remix than a sober Sunrise we hope that you enjoy today’s speaker I’m an alcoholic a member of the Mediterranean group my name is yel Campbell especially on a day like today I use my last name just in case I end up in the hospital and you want to visit me so around these parts it might not be so hard to describe me in the hospital but I once went to the hospital to visit a fellow friend in AA and I said you know I’m here to see Al she said Al who I said Big Al she said I was really looking for more of a family name Big Owl who drives a truck does that help you big ows with Sally is any of this getting me anywhere she said you’re a friend huh and she started laughing I um I’m a big believer in the traditions of Alcoholics Anonymous and and uh and clearly there are places where we’re supposed to maintain our anonymity and inside of Alcoholics Anonymous is not one of them I I don’t believe but I’m not here to argue with anyone I’m here to to say thank you to thank you to mark for all your hospitality uh Mark has been a wonderful host I uh was driven here safely today I was driven to Niagara Falls uh and saw the Falls as an alcoholic I can’t believe that’s been happening every day without my knowledge I’m a little upset that no one made me go before um I want to uh I want to say thank you to the whole committee and to the archives committee I think it’s important that we remember where we come from somebody said that those who forget are bound to repeat so I want to remember and I want the people that came before I want to remember who came before me I never want to think for one second that I invented this or I founded this or I did anything with this in in innovatively I just want to be doing what everybody that came before me did because because quite honest there are those in the room who we’ll see later in the countdown the Giants that came before us and the Giants that came before them um I I I uh we had a little discussion at a little Friday night meeting we had in the hotel I want to thank the committee for putting me up in a winery that’s a vote of confidence I didn’t know I Mark sent the email that I would be staying at the Casablanca Winery in and my wife said is that a good idea I I said they can’t possibly have enough wine for me that was nice um I want to thank the uh it doesn’t seem so many that that our fellow members who have experienced an entire psychic change and decided that it was too dangerous to drive today those are the truly the healthy ones the rest of us were like I’m going I P I’m ready what I don’t know what was the ticket what did the ticket cost $20 I’m worth dying for $20 of course risk my life for 20 bucks hell yeah on a Sunday morning why not I don’t get that many opportunities anymore had a great alcoholic moment in the archive room there was a a a a jar of or bowl of of candy put out free candy I might add gumdrops and a man walked up he took one he ate it and he said you ought to warm those up before you give them to people well yes sir that’s why we’re here to get you a warm Gumdrop let me just sit on that for a moment and you come back in 5 minutes and they’ll be all warmed up I um so I I just thank you all for coming out thank you for for uh you know this is a remarkable thing of all of this an archive committee I mean it’s funny that we you know go who knew when we arrived in Alcoholics Anonymous that one day we’re were going to want to Archive that emot that that moment you know what I mean who of us thought let me save the parking stub to my first AA meeting because someday this might be in the archives right I mean if you’re new here today if somehow you got in here and you’re thinking man alcoholic synonymous how lame is that right I mean you really didn’t think two weeks ago when you were hammering it back wherever you were hammering it back that geez I hope I’m at the Olympia Grand Ballroom in a couple of weeks on a Sunday morning listening to some freak I want you to know when I came to Alcoholics Anonymous I didn’t look like this I came to Alcoholics Anonymous in early February of 1980 I was a 16-year-old Irish Italian Catholic kid from Philadelphia I’m not saying that if you work the 12 steps of Alcoholics anonimous you’ll end up an an orthodox Jew living in Jerusalem but it has happened people fear a lot of stuff happening when they work the steps most of it’s never going to happen I had a sponsor kindy guy of blessed memory named Clint Hodges and he was sponsored by Clancy emlin and Clancy Clint went to Clancy Clint had grown up in an Evangelical Christian family in Montana he hated God and religion and everything about it and he went to Clancy and he said Clancy I’m afraid that if I turn my will and life over to the care of God in the third step God will make me a missionary in China and clans he said Clint do you believe in God and Clint said no and Clancy asked do you speak Chinese no why would God make you a missionary in China you’d be horrible at that but ending up an orthodox Jew living in Jerusalem has happened so be careful and take my card I um I’m in incredibly um I like to say when I speak in a medium alcoholic I like to think whenever I’m in a meeting of Alcoholics Anonymous that it is an honor and a privilege to be in a meeting of Alcoholics Anonymous and particularly to speak because it’s an honor because alcoholics synonymous is not my entire life I have plenty of things in my life that have nothing to do with the fact that I am a sober alcoholic except that I only have them because I’m a sober alcoholic the found the foundation of my life is the fact that I’m a sober member of Alcoholics Anonymous not that I’m sober because I was sober when I started drinking if I had to look for a cause for my drinking it would be sobriety I believe I drank because I was sober so simply getting here and being sober is not the answer it’s the reason my sponsor likes to say that if if you have a problem with alcohol that alcoholics don’t have a problem with alcohol right it’s not that’s not our problem our problem is living without alcohol my problem is how do I live my life sober without that spring getting Tighter and Tighter in my gut and then just finally over something anything it really does doesn’t matter popping and I’m gone and I’m at it again how do I not do that how do I live comfortably how first of all how do I go one day without a drink I did not believe that was possible I drank in the in the uh 70s and 80s I drank alcohol in liquid form pill form powder form and solid form I did not know that I was going to end up in alcohol olic annonymous had I known I was going to end up speaking at the Hamilton archives breakfast I would have only drank but there was no promise when I was doing the things that I was doing that I would end up here there was no sense that I was going to end up safe sane and sober and alcoholic synonymous I drank from N9 years old to 16 years old I believe I drank for as long as I possibly could I believe I drank as much as I possibly could I could not I I I um I personally hate the real alcoholic Sledgehammer that we use on each other um I stake my drinking to this paragraph that I’m about to read to you the idea that someday I’m reading and I’m getting it wrong the idea that somehow someday he will control and enjoy his drinking as the great Obsession of every abnormal Drinker the Persistence of this illusion is astonishing many pursue it to the gates of insanity or death I know this if I’m controlling my drinking I’m not enjoying it if I’m enjoying it I’m not controlling it period go with me for a minute this is not and it is Sunday and let’s just say that the story of Noah actually happened okay just for the sake of this discussion let’s say Noah built an ark let’s say God told Noah to build an ark as wacky as that sounds and Noah built an ark and when he was done building the ark he put all the creatures in right two by two by two we’ve all read or heard the story somehow in some form and he saved the world the entire world everybody and everything that wasn’t on that Ark died when Noah got back from saving the world do you know what he did that’s right he planted a Vineyard and got drunk and naked in front of the kids sounds like alcoholism to me first thing where you back from Noah I just saved the entire world well that’s a big deal thanks you’re welcome what you going to do now plant a Vineyard what you going to do after that get drunk and naked in front of the kids sounds like a great idea no let’s just say that that story is between 3,500 and 5,000 years old whether it happened or not somebody thought it up and wrote it down between that day in this recovery from alcoholism has been available I always should do the math before I get to this moment what is it 83 years 83 years right since 1935 from 5 ,000 BCE 5,000 years ago till now recovery from alcoholism has been available for 83 years we live in an incredibly small window of time when recovery from alcoholism was available to the human being and even still the vast majority of Alcoholics will die without ever darkening the door of Alcoholics Anonymous and without getting into math or statistics or percentages of who worked the program better them or us a fair number of us will die after having darkened the door a fair number of us will be given a seat in a room of Alcoholics Anonymous and at some point after that moment will get up and say thanks but no thanks I’ll give it my best shot out there and they will die because that’s what alcoholics do they will die ugly humiliating painful deaths both for themselves and the people that have the unfortunate task of loving them alcoholism is an ugly dirty disease and it trashes lives drunk or sober so whenever someone gets to alcoholic synonymous please God let me be the last person to judge whether they are alcoholic and if I judge them to be non-alcoholic please God let me keep my mouth shut it’s not my job it’s not my business and please God if they say would you take me through the book let me say yes and please God let me make room in my life because I owe a debt to Alcoholics Anonymous I’m not the first person to say that I read it in Dr Bob’s story Dr Bob felt he owed an a debt to Alcoholics Anonymous if he owed a debt to Alcoholics Anonymous you know I owe a debt to Alcoholics Anonymous the other thing I love about Dr Bob’s story is he talks about the idea of not much getting over the desire to drink for two and a half years and you know what he did in those two and a half years he didn’t drink he stayed sober he worked with another alcoholic he founded Alcoholics Anonymous in those 2 and a half years I don’t think i’ wanted to drink for really seriously wanted to drink for 24 hours in a row since I’ve been here and I see a lot of people who want to drink and some drink and some never come back so however we got here and however the people will get here to the meetings we go to this week I want to know that I will be a welcome it’s not my job to decide if they’re alcoholic it’s just my job to say welcome to Alcoholics Anonymous that’s what people did for me I showed up at Alcoholics Anonymous on the 5th of February 1980 and a bunch of people sat me down they gave me my first cup of coffee an addiction I’ll thank them for forever I’m not really addicted to coffee I just drink it so us to not get a headache I don’t have to drink it until noon but up until noon it’s a choice choice I make every day but a choice nonetheless a bunch of guys gave me their numbers and a bunch of guys wrote on their cards one guy I remember Gordon he wrote call any time he underlined that he put an exclamation point he gave me that card he shook my hand and I do that I have cards in my pocket if you ask for my card I’ll shake your hand I’ll give you my card I’ll say you feel free to call me anytime and I do that cuz I know he’s never going to call that’s why I drank so I wouldn’t have to call a stranger in the middle of the night and say I don’t feel good I’m scared I’m nervous I’m anxious I would rather be beaten with a baseball bat on this stage in front of all of you then call someone and say I don’t know what I’m doing I don’t know how to get through the he I don’t I can’t do this one guy took my number and he called me he called me the next day and he said hey Chris you want to go to a meeting I said yeah I didn’t want to go to a meeting I wanted to say I went to AA yesterday you mean I got to go two days in a row but thank God I went to that meeting cuz that’s the meeting where I got alcoholism oh really I didn’t have alcoholism when I went to that meeting I came to Alcoholics Anonymous cuz my best friend lanne had come to Alcoholics Anonymous and lanne was the kind of Drinker I always wanted to be we drank in the suburbs of Philadelphia mainly in a park and the an would wake up in New York City or on a bus Bound for Ohio or in Atlantic City she got some movement on her drinking if I drank here I woke up here just mark back to my feet stand me up and that’s where I’ve been drinking unless there was a puddle nearby I might migrate to a puddle or make my own it’s really I mean people underestimate urination and it’s warm and fuzzy for a long time I want to think about the horrors that were visited upon a 16-year-old girl while she traversed the Northeast United States in the early 80s and late ’70s in a blackout but she got sober and I saw that happen I saw something change in her eyes and when when I had a hit and run accident with a Catholic priest and uh which is close to a burning bushes I’ll probably ever get I mean if that’s not a direct sign from God I mean he sent like one of his henchmen you know like he’s like The Godfather he wants to talk to you okay I’ll be there in the morning I went to school the next day would threw up in the hallway which is not allowed in the Catholic boy School they’d be proud of me now wouldn’t they and there I was I woke up the next day I threw up in the school I went back home I slept for a couple hours I woke up and I called Alcoholics Anonymous called a number in the phone book turned out it was a clubhouse called the 319 Club a woman answered the phone she said Alcoholics Anonymous may we help you I said yeah how do you get into AA she said the door but you know we don’t need that kind of attitude in our phone workers she said if you get here by 12:30 I’ll take you to a board meeting I thought a board meeting I haven’t even I’m not even a member yet what kind of shoddy organization are these people running I got there around 2:30 when I got to AA there were three guys in AA there were the 350 year old Russian guys from the Dan and yogurt commercials in the 70s barely move and then they’d eat the yogurt they do back flips and cartwheels well those three guys were in a when I got here and I looked at them and I thought if I don’t drink for as long as they’ve been alive I can’t have a drink for 134 years and then that afternoon a bunch of people gave me their numbers as I described and and this wasn’t like today kids and I believe me I when I got sober I hated when the old times would say ah when we got clean we have hospitals and detox thre guy a closet for a week took him out took him to a meeting right they’re always going on like that cups we didn’t use cups we put the CRS in our mouth and drank hot water cups CS but this was back in the day when someone calling someone any time meant you had to figure out when they were home their phone wasn’t in their pock was in their kitchen you could take the phone with you but you had to take the whole house too and so Paul called me and I went to Alcoholics Anonymous the second day and on the second day I sat in the pale of young people’s beginners meeting and I listened to a bunch of people talk about themselves and at the beginning of the meeting they went around the room and everyone said they were an alcoholic and that was freaking me out and they got to Paul Paul was the second to last person and I was the last person and Paul said my name is Paul and he didn’t say he was an alcoholic or I didn’t hear it anyway and I said my name is Chris and I sat and listened to those people for an hour and and I caught alcoholism right then and there my friend Scott Redmond of blessed memory used to say alcoholism is a contagious disease you catch it through your ears I listen to you talk about your lives and your feelings and your emotions and your spiritual condition and what happened to you when you drank and the things that you were willing to do in order to drink and I thought to myself God if they’re alcoholic I’m alcoholic and by the end of the meeting I was saying I’m an alcoholic that’s what’s wrong with me believe me in my family if you come through the mental illnesses with alcoholism you are doing very well in my family having alcoholism is like going to Harvard really you come out with a simple case of alcoholism you’re like top of the class but I went and I started you know and Paul became my first sponsor and that be and and that connection to Paul became I jumped I know I jumped because I didn’t open the book yet I talked about why this is an honor and I want to just for a second go back and talk about why this is a privilege Dr silkworth writes and he’s writing about Bill in the doctor’s opinion be in in the introduction to the doctor’s opinion he’s talking about many years ago one of the leading contributors of this book came under the care of our hospital and while here he acquired some ideas with which he put into practical application at once and then here’s the line that I love later he requested the privilege of being allowed to tell his story to other patients that’s what I’m being given the privilege to do this morning to tell my story to the other patients and then the doctor’s beautiful here he says here and with some misgiving we consented in other words they thought it was a bad idea but figured how much damage can they do and that’s why we’re here for all the reasons because eie went to bill because Roland went to eie because Dr Young couldn’t heal eie uh Roland because Dr Young was humble enough to know that he could not provide the transformational emotional experience that Roland needed to stay sober so that he could get eie out of jail so that eie could go to bill so the bill could bot him out one more time and go to Town’s hospital so the bill could work with people for six months and no one would get sober except bill so that bill could go to Bob in early May of 1935 isn’t it remarkable that the founding date of Alcoholics Anonymous is not when the first member got sober but when the second member got sober it’s it’s about two it’s not about one it’s about two what do I need I need my book and I need another alcoholic to talk to I need to that Paul and I Paul who talk me took me to my second meeting Paul and I are a power greater than me you said you don’t want to die of alcoholism you want to stop drinking you have to access a power greater than yourself Paul and I are a power greater than me Mark and I are a power greater than me hoit and I are a power greater than me Lenny and I are a power greater than me that’s what I need in my life to not drink today access to a power greater than myself and me and any one of you are a power greater than me and that’s one of the reasons I’m still an alcoholic synonymous sure me and the gas station attendant are a power grer than me but it’s going to take some work till we realize that until we get on the same page sure me and the the the bartender or waitress at the C Casablanca Winery in are a power greater than me me and anyone else are a power greater than me but here we’re attuned to that we’re we’re we’re starting out there’s not going to be a lot of having to get you know kind of synchronized and also my interactions with them none of them are dying of alcoholism here I come and I can be of service when I got to alcoholism Gordon wasn’t two weeks sober he wasn’t reading out of a manual trying to figure out how to give out his number in 12 step Paul was over some 5 years at that point 5 years 26 27 years old 5 years and he was in a meeting of Alcoholics Anonymous on the day I needed to meet someone who knew how to stay sober so yes the new people are I don’t know if they’re the most important person in the room they’re incredibly important person but I don’t want to turn the program over to them it’s not their job quite honestly nor are they equipped to do it that’s why I I want to be here that’s why I want to be here and so that privilege and that that misgiving and that action which was one of a series of actions which finally brought Bill and Bob together and Bob stop drinking right there’s a I I once heard his son speak Bob Jr who was sitting him in the back of the car when Bob turned to Ann and said we’ll give this bird 15 minutes and they stayed 5 hours I know that feeling I know that feeling of sitting with someone and talking to them and the time flies by and yet it doesn’t seem the the clock doesn’t seem to move at all I know that feeling I know that feeling of of both being told that there is a solution I don’t have to live like this and I know the feeling of looking into another man’s eyes another person’s eyes and seeing that they’re learning that for the first time for the first moment they are finally getting the idea that they don’t have to die this way any longer I got a lot of amazing stuff in my life none more amazing than that there is something in a room when we are gathered together that is not in that room and we’re not there go to the meeting early stay late sit in the room by yourself the room feels different when we are gathered together and when we are gathered together for this for recovery from alcoholism it is different than we when we are just gathered together in general what’s amazing to me is the feeling how different the room can feel from the regular meeting where we are each and every one of us equal in each other’s eyes and here to save each other and to to grow together we are we are like those who are you know recovered from a ship to 15 minutes later when the business meeting starts and suddenly we’re oppositional and reactionary and defensive and we’re right and we are just and we will be heard it’s amazing how unspiritual we can get so quickly and we do it time and time again city after City month after month no wonder more and more groups have steering committees cuz then it’s only like eight people being oppositional to each other anyway so I came to Alcoholics Anonymous and I stopped drinking soon there after I stopped drinking that day I snorted a little alcohol and powder form about 8 days later but I wasn’t going to change my sobriety date cuz this was Alcoholics Anonymous and it’s kind of attached already to that first sobriety date it’s a long story and I won’t go into it but it was an important sobriety date and so I don’t know eight or nine months later I moved my date to the 14th of February not realizing that that was Valentine’s Day in the United States States I don’t know if it is here it’s not in Israel thank God so there’s no competition on my birthday my wife’s Israeli she doesn’t even know what Valentine Day is and I haven’t told her cu the 14th of February is my birthday after all and should be celebrated as such so when it rolled around and I was 17 and oh that’s so cute you got sober on Valentine’s Day you’re so cute I wasn’t willing to give up another day to move it to the 15th so I was stuck and and I worked with Paul you know and I and I was a junior year my junior in high school and I my life started to change I started to meet new people I apparently there was a whole like group of people at school that didn’t drink alcoholically or smoke behind the dumpsters all day or you know do any number of horrible things I was doing and and they were living great lives and I met a lot of them and my life started to grow and open and expand and I ended up visiting Florida and then moving to Florida upon graduation and and getting really active in Alcoholics anonomous te getting involved in service you know someone said earlier that that the you know the the volunteering is as slow as usual which is great because the if you’re if you’re into this you can do whatever you want here cuz there’s always a job open and if it’s not open this week it’ll be open next week so you’re lucky if you’re one of those people that wants to be enthusiastic about your involvement in Alcoholics Anonymous there’s always place to do something because because they don’t you know I remember I was you know they told me to get a commitment and I knew clearly that 1 to take advantage of the newcomer I can see that a mile away I’m not going to be taking advantage of I’m not getting a commitment and so I didn’t and then I finally did I got a coffee commitment and and it turned out I’m a great coffee maker I’m one of the best coffee makers in AA it turns out I didn’t even know turns out I make excellent coffee few months later it turns out everyone is incredibly jealous of an excellent coffee maker and they start talking about rotation which I know is a buzzword for let’s get the excellent coffee maker out of his job cuz we’re going to get used to excellent coffee and it’s going to be really hard when he finally decides to do something else and they threw me right out of being coffee maker and uh it was years later it was I was probably about uh 12 years sober and I was living in Los Angeles and I was going to a Sunday night meeting called the Sundowners group and the Sundowners group was B basically populated by really rich people or really goodlook people or really famous people pretty much everyone there was one of the three I was none of the three and I was really uncomfortable there and I decided I would leave because I’m 12 years sober and I don’t need to be uncomfortable in my own skin I’ve worked really hard as a member of Alcoholics done a lot of SP step work done a lot of spiritual growth I’m going to take care of me and I’m going to leave and I don’t know maybe that would have worked I don’t know because just as I was going out the door another voice in my head said what are you doing you don’t leave a meeting of Alcoholics Anonymous cuz you’re uncomfortable you get a job and I thought yeah I remember hearing at the Florida State Convention when I was about a year and 4 months sober a guy named Franklin Williams from Olive Branch Mississippi and Franklin was a little old it was Tiny 112 or something and he had this thick southern accent and he said my name is Franklin Williams and I’m a member of the Olive Branch Mississippi group of Alcoholics Anonymous the Olive Branch group is the best damn group in AA and then he said if you don’t think your home group is the best group in AA don’t go joining another one and screwing that up too move to the front of the room and take responsibility and so that’s what I did I got a job I got the assistant candle buyer’s job California gives out birthday cakes every week everybody gets their own candles that doesn’t necessitate two people buying candles I think either one of us was fully capable of buying all the candles but we had two people I was the co- buyer and then after a while I was the buyer and then I moved up to the lighter and then the cake holder I was ripping through that organization and sure enough I lost track of what had made me uncomfortable and some like about a year and two years later I was standing on the podium I was the Secretary of the Sundowners Group which in California’s the highest job you can have in a group and uh or the lowest depending on how you see the group and there I was shushing the people and wishing they would go to their seats and complaining about the smokers and you know the stuff we do and while I’m shushing them and wishing they’d be in their seats so we could start the meeting on time for once and give the speaker their full their deser a time it suddenly occurred to me I’m not happy with these people but I’m not intimidated by them either I am just a man among men I’m not rich I’m not good-look and I’m not famous but I’m a member of this group and I’m equal to everyone here and I would have not learn that had I walked out the door I might have gotten a massage that day or gone to a spa or I don’t know what but I wouldn’t have learned that I was equal to all those people I would have left with the feeling I had when I went out the door which was that somehow they were better and so maybe you’re thinking so what dude maybe that’s so what I don’t know it was a lesson for me it was along the way it was right about the time when I went to my spons who’s a a big meditator I I’ve always alternated between poke you in the chest sponsors and called you to tell you they love you sponsors and I was on a call you to tell you I loved you sponsor and and uh and he he was a big meditator and I I don’t mention that except that because the reason I mentioned that is because he what he told me is after we you know we were working and talking for a while he said you know I I really think you have to have another Second Step experience you have to kind of come to believe in a power greater than yourself you know because uh because you need something new there you need something different something more and I was thinking about it this morning I think about it a lot because I really believe that me and any one of you is enough on any given day to keep me sober and it was certainly enough for me to start this journey 38 years ago but that’s not enough to I mean the way I like to think about it is like when I got sober I lived in a when I first moved out of my well when I first got silver I lived in my parents’ house that limited the amount of things I had to do right and now I live in my own house I can’t I can’t say well the I’m just going to do what I used to do when I first got sober cuz that was enough then and I want it to be enough now I couldn’t go to my wife and say you know what honey like I’m going to I’m going to pretty much top out at making the bed I don’t really you know that’s what I used to do when I lived at home and that’s what I feel comfortable doing now that was my first higher power and this is my higher power today it just wouldn’t work Timothy Le used to say if you’re in in in discussing LSD he would say if you he say LSD is Rocket Fuel if you’re a Volkswagen don’t take rocket fuel but it’s the diff it’s the opposite here I have a big rich full authentic life today it’s not going to be powered by that little bit of that I had 38 years ago I’ve had to grow this thing I’m not saying become an orthodox Jew I’m not saying come to I’m you know visit my home group you can speak at my home group Robbie did but you know I’m not asking you to be me there’s no room in my life for you barely fine parking now I’m saying become you I’m saying alcoholics synonymous offered me me not for the sake of me being me and having me and aren’t I great so that I could be an agent for my employer that’s so that I could be of service to the god of my understanding and my fellow human beings right I ran around AA for years saying God what does God want for me what does God want me to do what does God want me to do what do you know what does God want me to do it says clearly in the book what God wants me to be do and be God wants me to be happy joyous and free and of Maximum service to God and my fellow realize who’s missing in that statement me but I’m not supposed to be a maximum service to me no I’m supposed to be a maximum service to you the downside of that means you’re supposed to be a maximum service to me so we can talk after the meeting because I have a list of things I’d like you to do we have this I have this friend in LA in LA in Jerusalem and and she drives me crazy cuz she’s always saying aa’s a cult and it just makes me mad like insane mad not angry cuz I don’t get angry cuz I’ve dealt with my feelings through the step sometimes I have a negative emotion but it’s only so that I’m relatable to others I’m right and then sometimes I’m wrong but I admit that I’m wrong which makes me right and I always say to her yeah we’re a cult we’re the only cult in the world that makes you get in touch with your family and won’t take your money Mark pointed out this morning we have cult-like tendencies the veneration of our leaders and Founders I don’t know I’m proud did you go to the archives room I’m proud to be in line with those people I’m proud to be the extension of Bill Wilson and Bob Smith and Dr silkworth and Sam Shoemaker Reverend Shoemaker and all those people Mar man and the early women of Alcoholics annonymous I’m I’m I’m may may maybe I don’t know I’m proud to be able to be here today I’m proud to be able to say thank you to alcoholics annonymous not just by doing this but by going to my regular meetings by answering my phone when it rings by going out with the new guy and reading the book by saying this is how I got sober this is what I did these are the actions I took you know my my sponsor sometimes tells a story which I first heard from a guy named Bob D and there’s a guy is an alcoholic and he’s out in the ocean and he’s paddling he’s he’s treading water but he can feel that he can’t see anything for as far in any direction and he knows he just can’t paddle water forever he can’t tread water forever he’s going to have to he’s getting tired and sudden L far on the horizon he sees two guys and they’re paddling towards him they pull up right next to him and they don’t have a boat they’re just sitting there paddling and they say hey man get in and he says but but you don’t have a boat they say just get in man get in and start paddling you’ll be fine and he’s about to get in but but then suddenly he sees a big shiny ocean liner pull up and it says I don’t know rehab I don’t know what it says easier softer way I really don’t know maybe it says Financial Security and Success Through workaholic like habits I think this both said something like rehab and biof feedback nutritional consult Ing and exercise group therapy and they said come on board and he said to the two guys see you and he got on the ship and man for 30 days it was golden and then at the end of 30 days they said all right you’re done off the ship what off the ship you’re you’re done it’s over it’s a 30-day program and into the water he went and off went the ship and he’s paddling water and he’s thinking I don’t know how long I here come the guys get in the invisible boat man are you kidding no get in and he gets in now padle and he paddles and sure enough he doesn’t sink but it’s crazy it’s crazy right what he’s there it’s just crazy so he stops paddling and he starts to sink and they say man you got to paddle if you don’t paddle you’re going to sink and he can’t get over there’s no boat and they don’t care that there’s no boat they just say keep paddling we’re on the invisible boat my friends this is the invisible boat there is no reason why what we do should recover us from alcoholism neither recovered nor recovering should be sustainable with what we do and yet we don’t sink and we pull other people into the boat with us and we paddle the invisible boat and we survive more than survive we Prosper I um one other thing I want to read this is from the language of the heart which is one of the best books in AA it’s a grap Vine it’s a grap Vine publication it’s the collected writings of Bill from from his Grapevine writings and um this is a story that uh or a piece that um he wrote in uh I will tell you in one minute in 1957 in December of 1957 he wrote this and it’s titled the greatest gift of all the greatest gift that can come to anybody is a spiritual awakening without doubt this would be the certain verdict of every well recovered alcoholic in aa’s entire Fellowship so then what is this spiritual awakening this transforming experience how can we receive it and what does it do to begin with Spiritual Awakening is our means of finding sobriety to us of AA sobriety means life itself we know that a spiritual experience is the key to survival from alcoholism and that for most of us it is the only key we must awake or we die so we do awake and we are sober then what is sobriety all that we are to expect of a spiritual awakening again the voice of AA speaks no sobriety is only a bare beginning it is only the first gift of the first Awakening if more gifts are to be received our Awakening must go on has to go on and it does go on we find that bit by bit we can discard the old life the one that did not work for a new life that can and does work under any conditions whatever regardless of worldly success or failure regardless of pain or Joy regardless of sickness or health or even of death itself a new life of Endless Possibilities can be lived if we are willing to continue our Awakening and I think that for me that’s what Alcoholics Anonymous allows me in my experience in Alcoholics Anonymous through the continued application of the 12 steps and the continued application of all the implications of the 12 steps the The Awakening has continued my life has continued to transform I could not when you said to me when I was new and alcoholics annonymous you can have anything anything beyond your wildest dreams if you had made me ask for what I wanted then I would have a lifetime subl of marbor and a brand new Camaro which would mean I would have a lifetime supply of cigarettes I don’t smoke anymore and a 38-year-old car that’s as big as it got for me over the moon biggest shot that was it have anything in the world cigarettes and a new car I wouldn’t have known to ask for the life I have today I wouldn’t have known to ask for the the way my life was going to manifest and the beautiful thing for me is that Alcoholics Anonymous worked when I was Chris Campbell 16-year-old Irish Italian Catholic kid from Philly as well as it works for 54y old father of four husband Israeli citizen yrel Campbell Orthodox Jew living in Jerusalem this book I don’t have to adjust it I don’t have to read it backwards I don’t have to turn it upside down I don’t have to ask for a new book to be written this is not the only spiritual book in my life this is not the only textbook in my life but it’s the it’s the one that gives me all the others for me I don’t know how Alcoholic Anonymous works for you and I’m not judging how Alcoholic Anonymous works for you only because cuz I don’t know how it works for you if I knew then I would judge but I’m blessed to be in a room that I can’t judge any of your programs cuz I don’t know what you’re not doing given a week or a month I could probably judge everyone in this room that’s the Blessed part of being the invited speaker from out of town no resentments but if I weren’t staying past Tom tomorrow it wouldn’t take long isn’t it amazing to me it’s amazing right steps 1 through 9 is all new material this is the recovery process 1 through nine nothing is repeated 1 through nine right and man you do so many things you admit you’re powerless over alcohol you come to believe in a power greater than yourself God that can help you stay sober you turn your life and will over to the care of God you write an inventory you you you go into that basement and you pull out the musty boxes and the dead rats and the dirty diapers you forgot to throw away and all that stuff and you clean out the house and it’s clean and you take it to someone else and you say look at all this mess that I made and they say yeah I made the same mess man you go to God and you say I don’t want these defects of character anymore I want you to have them I want to be of service to you and you go and make amends and you not only apologize eyes I mean I was young I made a I made amense to my family several times one time I forget how it got back to me but my mother I was like a letter writer a men guy so I wrote another series of letters to my mom and my dad and my sister and my mom called my sister and said what what is this and she goes you know every few years he writes us a letter apologizing for being an and then he acts like an for another few years so we do that but but you know I mean that stuff is amazing too my first job sober I was a a petroleum exchange engineer for the Exon Corporation I pumped gas at winw Winwood Exon which is a little gas station at the corner of Winwood in Lancaster and it was owned by a guy named Lou Batista who was if not in the mafia I don’t know why if he wasn’t in the mafia it was because he was in the witness protection plan for having been in the mafia like the guy you know what I mean and so I I used to there were ways you could I stealing is a strong word there was ways you could appropriate funds that were destined for the Exxon Corporation to your own pocket and there were somewhere you know you just wouldn’t turn the pump off in those days it was on and off and you you almost turn it off but not quite for someone that bought say $2 or $3 worth of gas and then the next person would start at $3 and who really knows if their car takes $17 or $20 and you know and you’d make a little money that way and blue didn’t really keep track of the oil so you’d sell a few oils quarts of oil for him and a few quarts for yourself and yeah had to leave a do a $100 uh you know for the guy in the morning and the guy in the morning was a guy named John who’ been there longer than Lou so no one was going to accuse JN of stealing if his bank was a little short so you could take kind of dinner money off the bank you do that and it adds up right and you get sober and and you’re sober already I mean but you get sober by that I mean start living sober and um you get a sponsor and you work the steps and you’ve moved to Florida where it’s warm and sunny and you’re going home to Philadelphia and your sponsor who’s a Baptist turned Catholic which means he’s a rigid guy like he started out rigid and then got like forign rigid you know what I mean like God he was so he I remember when I started my four-step I showed up with like every four-step guide no to man you know the Hazelton guide the oh every na was writing their literature at the time and they had a like a 600 page four-step guy with a whole section on beastiality and you know then word went out don’t read that man it’ll kill you and and you know I showed up with everything but the big book and and John was like where’s the book I like well I don’t know he’s like if it’s good enough for Bill Bob and the first 100 members it’s certainly good enough for you and I thought okay but Mrs Jones you know like we anyway so I I was going home and I made a commitment to make these mens one of them was to Lou I was going to go to Lou and I was going to tell him that I had so stolen several hundred probably around $500 worth of merchandise from him and that I was going to you know make a mens and uh I got the Philly and it was a cold rainy day not quite this icy but cold sley cold wet rain and I went to the station and said hi to all the mechanics and guys and I asked where Lou was and they pointed out to the island he was pumping gas it’s a bad day when the owner pumps the gas especially when it’s cold and wet and he comes in he’s shaking off his coat and he says why is it always the old guys why the old guys always mouth off to me if some young guy said that I would punch him in the face and I thought I’m going to make a mens well actually I thought I’m not going to make amends and then I thought you know I’m going to get back to Florida and it’s going to be warm we’re going be standing at the pompo beach Workshop group and it’s going to be Tuesday night and we’re going to be in short sleeves and it’s going to be 65 70° and it’s going to be hard to explain to John just how cold it was how wet it was how angry he was and really just out of a sense that I didn’t want to ask tell John I hadn’t made the amends I thought I’m going to make the amends and I asked Lou if I could talk to him and we went outside and we stood in front of the open hood of a car and he was on the side and I was right flashed with the grill and flush with the grill and and I thought I’m just going to talk until he punches me in the face and I start I explain to him what I had done and the system and how I turned the pump off without turning the pump off and how I sold the quarts of oil and how I shorted John’s bank and he hasn’t punched me in the face yet and I get to the end of the story he goes well I said I think I owe you about $500 and maybe I said even a higher figure and then I said uh but but I can’t pay you all that I I can give you $20 tonight and pay you $20 a month until I’m done and he still hasn’t punched me in the face and I open my eyes and he’s looking at me he says I know exactly what you’re trying to do here I’m a member of Gamblers Anonymous and I thought my God that’s amazing I mean I was touched to my my soul and then he said in fact he reiterated how much do you think it is I think I said 500 maybe I said 750 and he said I’ll tell you what let’s let’s just make it 200 I’ll take your 20 now and you send me 20 a month until You’ paid me $200 I just felt like a such a relief such a moment of connection to him and to the universe to Alcoholics Anonymous to my sponsor and to all of you do and then I thought just the very next thought you know if you were going to cut it from 500 to 200 you could have just as easily gone to zero it took that long literally a breath you know I find $20 on the ground and I say thank you and then I say you know it could have been a 100 that’s how long it lasts for me you know so we go through this process right and we go through 1 through n and we and you would think I would think at the end of nine well what’s left I mean we’ve just done all this work it’s just right on to spiritual growth right it’s just right on to more God like let’s bring it on prayer and meditation but it’s not the very first thing we redo in it in the step work is resentment cuz I don’t know how they knew how did Bill know have you ever met a stock broker I mean I’m sure there are some here and I’m not talking about you guys they’re the most selfish self-centered I’ve never met more I mean I lived in New York in the early 80s and all these guys in finance would they would have killed their mothers to make another sale you know and here’s this guy and and people from Ohio have you ever met anyone from Ohio they’re barely human I mean they’re I don’t mean the ones that are in Ohio from Ohio here I mean the other ones and these two guys a proctologist a proctologist with shaky hands that’s going to bring in an interesting cliental these two guys gave us this and and the very first repeat is is resentment because we’re human beings we’re not spiritual We Are Spiritual Beings also but we are human first and foremost we are human first and foremost we are no one Among Us has been able to maintain anything like perfect adherence to these principles no one not Bill not Bob not Bob no no no not a number three not Cliff your dear Cliff who I’m sure is an amazing man not but not been able to maintain anything like perfect adherence so the first thing we need to do when we start on it okay we cleaned it all up now let’s move forward we’re going to step on toes we’re going to get resentments we’re going to control we’re going to yeah it doesn’t say I said earlier be of service be of Maximum service but it doesn’t say that it says fit ourselves to be of Maximum service service fitting ourselves means that we don’t do it naturally it takes work continuing ongoing work to fit ourselves to be a maximum service the other line that I love which is on page 85 is that line where it says that we’re given a daily reprieve that’s the other reason I’m still an alcoholic synonymous because I have a daily reprieve I can only stay sober today for today I can’t you know what it’s Sunday I don’t have much planned I’m going to get in all my IA for the week I like to hit four meetings a week so I’m going to hit four today and be good for the rest of the week that’s not how my daily reprieve Works my daily reprieve works on a daily basis you know like they don’t go to they don’t go to the priest and say man you’ve been saying Mass every day for 60 years why do you still say daily mass they don’t go to to the to to um what’s that swimmer guy and say you’ve trained long enough why do you still swim every day nobody asks that but they come to you in AA and they say why you still go to AA then they see how I live and they say maybe you should go more maybe you’re not going enough maybe they have another 12 steps you could use so it’s the daily reprieve contingent upon the maintenance of my spiritual condition when I’m responsible for is not my spiritual condition I always read that for for 35 years and I read what I heard in my head was you have a daily reprieve as long as you’re in fit spiritual condition that’s not what it says it says I have a daily reprieve contingent upon the maintenance I’m responsible for the maintenance I sweep the floors I polish the bar I take the trash out that the room is ultimately clean is not my responsibility I say my prayers in the morning I call my sponsores I call my sponsor I reach out to others I say yes when asked that’s what I’m responsible for each of those steps along the way but ultimately not the condition at the end and for me that’s incredibly powerful I’m going to tell one quick story and then I’ll stop it’s a story about the baltov who was the founder of hidic Judaism the guys that look like me and he lived in the late 1700s and when by then the Judaism had become kind of stagnant and and um um you know Frozen I’m not fossilized it was stuck and he came in and he and he believed that that that we should express our belief in God through laughing and dancing Ing and singing doing all the things we’re asked to do but also with joy to do it with great joy and and and when he was dying he gathered all his followers together his hedum his guys and he said he gave them each a job the big guys got the big jobs Cliff big job Mark big job Hoy big job Lenny big job then they got to the little guys like me there was this one host that just loved them so much who hadn’t gotten a job and finally was called in in the B said your job is to go throughout Europe they were in the Ukraine the Carpathian Mountains go throughout Europe and tell us stories of our life and our work the guy thought you know as we sometimes do in AA like that’s not a great job so his first question was for how long and the b h said you’ll know when to stop you’ll you’ll get it it’ll you’ll get it and so he went out and he started telling the stories of the balam TOA and that’s what he did he criss-crossed Europe he was the Storyteller of the bosam to he spread the word about the bosam to through the stories of the bosm to and one day he woke up and he thought I think I’m done I just feel done and then he heard there was an Italian nobleman paying gold duckets to hear news stories of the B to and he thought maybe I’m not done done little cash nothing wrong with a little cash and he makes his way to the no’s house and the noan brings him in and sits him down the noan is happy to see him and he suddenly can’t think of a single story he just stares at the guy can’t think of a single sit there the whole day not a single story the guy finally says look get some food get some rest play tennis whatever next day nothing three days he sits there he can’t think of finally says I got to go this is all I do I am the Storyteller of the ball to and I can’t think of a single story I’m out of here the guy doesn’t want to let him go but he let him go and he’s making his way down the path to the Village he thinks of one story seemingly inconsequential seemingly insignificant he makes his way back and he say I’m not going to take your money I just want you know I just want to prove to you that I am who I say I am and he told him the following Story one spring season the B PO said get the horses ready we’re going to Turkey now turkey wasn’t a great place for the Jews at Easter you can imagine why and he said I don’t think it’s a good idea and the B to said get the horses ready we’re going and they made their way there and he the little thought okay as soon as we get there we’ll lay low in the ghetto we’ll hide until after Easter everything will be okay they get there short enough the Jews are batting down in the ghetto the BAM to walks in throws open the shutters that look out on the town square just where the Christians are having their Easter mass and he says go get the bishop and says the the guy with the pointy hat in the stick get the bishop he says get the bishop I don’t he doesn’t look like he’s ready to come get the bishop and he makes his way down and somehow he gets to the bishop and and the bishop says okay he explains the BOS wants to speak to he says after the mass I’ll come in and speak to him he does they sit in the back room for 3 hours the ball comes down and says get the horses ready we’re going home and he says the horses are already ready and they make their way back and and it’s that’s the end of the story and before he can apologize one more time to the noan for telling him this inconsequential insignificant story The nobleman stops him he looks up the hostage looks up and the guy’s crying his whole attitude and outlook on life have changed before he can speak he says I was that Bishop I grew up in a long line of Rabbi in a rabbi family a long line of rabbis and the persecution of our own people was so much that I converted to Christianity the Christians so loved that after some time they made me their bishop and I went along with the persecution of my people and I knew that when the Bal do wanted to speak to me I had to speak to him and I asked him if ever I could be forgiven and I could be healed and he said go live a life of quiet good deeds and if ever anyone comes and tells your story you’ll know that you’ve been forgiven and you’ve been healed said You Came to Me 3 days ago and you couldn’t tell my story I recognized you immediately but you didn’t see me and now you tell this story in telling your story I hear my story and I say to you that it’s here and Alcoholics Anonymous more than anywhere else in the world for me that I hear my story told and you are the people that tell it and when you tell my story I know that I’ve been forgiven and I’ve been healed so I implore you please please come back and tell my story again thank you thank you for listening to sober Sunrise if you enjoyed today’s episode please give it a thumbs up as it will help share the message until next time have a great day