welcome to sober Sunrise a podcast bringing you AA speaker meetings with stories of experience strength and Hope from around the world we bring you several new speakers weekly so be sure to subscribe whether you join us in the morning or at night there’s nothing better than a sober Sunrise we hope that you enjoy today’s speaker and I think we get here just as confused about where God is as we were ever confused about anything else as a kid growing up somewhere I got a picture in my mind now I don’t know whether I dreamed it or saw it but in my mind when I was thinking about God he was a tall elderly gentleman stood on a cloud up in the sky long flowing white robes on long white hair golden halo around his head and Sunray shooting out of that Halo and a big stick in his right hand now I don’t know whether I saw that or whether I dreamed it but one of the reasons I thought God was there is because every time the minister talked about God he always pointed up there so I knew he had to be up there somewhere but then what really confused me I know I noticed every time the minister wanted to talk to God he always looked down here he points hell no wonder we get confused as kids about where God is and I looked and I looked and I looked and I looked and I never could find God because I never did know where he was and it took the big book alcoholic synonymous to tell me just exactly where I’m going to find him page 55 you know many years ago I was working for not working but I was involved in a halfway house in Tulsa I was heavily involved and there was this young man there he’d asked me to be a sponsor and he said well what do you think I ought to do I said well it be probably a good idea if you had a job you know could start somewhere here and uh he said well easy for you to say I don’t have any car and I I can’t get back and forth with no money can’t even ride the bus and I said well I’ll take you around and help you find a job and if you find a job I’ll take you back and forth till you can get a couple of paychecks and then you can buy a car or do whatever you need to do he said fine so I’m taking me back and forth to work and one morning he told me a story that really helped me a lot and he said and this is way The Story Goes he said there was a three wise men of the East he said and they took from man the Crown of Life the thing that would make us the happiest and took it away from them and they said well now we took it away from them what are we going to do with it said well one of the guys said I’ll tell you what we’ll do we’ll take it to the highest highest crevice on the face of the earth and the highest highest mountain and we’ll hide it up there and he’ll never be able to find it the other two said yeah but you know how they are they’ll hunt and they’ll search and they’ll eventually find it the third one said I’ll tell you what we’ll take it to the deepest deepest crevice of the deepest ocean and hide it there and they’ll never think about looking for it there he said yeah but you know how they are they’ll hunt and they’ll search they’ll eventually find it the third one said I’ll tell you what we’ll do we’ll hide it within himself and he’ll never think about looking for it there page 55 first paragraph said actually we were fooling ourselves for deep down in every man woman and child is the fundamental idea of God it may be obscured by Calamity by PP by worship of other things but in some form or other it is there for faith in a power greater than ourselves a miraculous demonstration of the power in human lives are facts as old as man himself we finally saw that faith in some kind of a God was a part of our makeup just as much as the feeling we have for a friend sometimes we had to search fearlessly but he was there he was as much a fact as we were we found the great reality deep down within us in the last analysis is only there that he may be found it was so with us so we can only clear the ground a bit if our testimony help sleep sweep away Prejudice enables you to think honestly encourages you to search diligently within yourself then if you wish you can join us on the broad highway now with this attitude you cannot fail the consciousness of your belief is sure to come to you a god of your own understanding is sure to come to you with an open mind know it seems as though all human beings are born with some basic knowledge deep down ins inside themselves probably lying at a subconscious level and that basic knowledge seems to be able to tell us what we should do and what we shouldn’t do seems to be able to tell us how we should live and how we shouldn’t live and I’m sure a lot of people would like to refer to that as just plain old common sense I think others might want to call it innate intelligence some might want to call it the conscience and others might want to call it the soul and I don’t think it really makes any difference what we call it as long as we recognize the fact that it’s there and if you’re anything like I am as far back as I can remember I’ve always been aware of that knowledge there used to be times I would be getting ready to do something and some voice somewhere from with inside me would say Charlie I don’t believe you ought to be doing this and I wouldn’t pay a bit of attention to it I’d go right ahead and do it and I’d just get in one hell of a mess and that same little voice would say see I told you not to do it in the first place now if that’s true and if that’s God then what that means to me today if God dwells within me then I’ve got my own personal God I don’t worry anymore about whether he’s the god of the Baptist Church or not I don’t worry whether he’s the god of the Catholic church that he Hebrew religion or anybody else’s God if he dwells within me and he’s my own personal God and he and I can come together in very simple very understandable terms this is one of the greatest pieces of information that I have ever learned is I can have my own God and he dwells within me and my knowledge comes from him and through him I’ll be able to find that power now then am I ready to make a decision you bet your when he was a God of Justice when he was Hellfire and brimstone I wasn’t ready to make that decision but throughout this chapter my concept of God Has Changed entirely and I’m beginning to believe he just might be a kind and a loving God and just maybe he’ll start doing some good things for me not hell far and brimstone and now I’m ready to make a decision and I don’t think it’s by accident that the very next chapter is entitled how it works you know back on page 45 it said the main object of this book was to enable me to find a power greater than myself which would solve my problem and Bill’s going to sit down here now and he’s going to write some of the best spiritual information the world’s ever seen a little formula called the or proposals he called them the 12 steps of Alcoholics Anonymous and I can just see Bill there with with a problem that he has you know we’ve got Protestants in AA and we’ve got Catholics in AA and we got Jewish people in AA we got a sprinkling of Muslims in AA we got some Buddhists come into naaa at that time and how you going to write a set of steps or proposals that’s not going to offend some of these people quite a chore for a guy like Bill or anybody to tell you the truth the Oxford groups were coming from first century Christianity they had those four absolutes and they were really really strong they wouldn’t give you any slack at all they were more interested in the letter of the law rather than the spirit of the law bill was interested in the spirit of these things rather than the letter of them that’s why it’s a spiritual program so Bill had one gigantic uh problem here try to WR write these steps in order to in such a manner that it wouldn’t offend anybody and he accomplish that through the 12 steps of our College synonymous these four absolutes that the Oxford Group had said you were to practice absolute love absolute Purity absolute honesty AB absolute unselfishness and these alcoholics were having a hell of a time being absolute anything except drunks you know and they said Bill we we we need to get rid of that kind of stuff also they had made their own little steps six of them which came from the Oxford Group tenants and Bill could see loopholes in these steps that the alcoholic mind was slipping through and he knew that they were going to have to have more strength strength and he knew they were going to have to be expanded but he didn’t know how far and in trying to satisfy that bunch in trying to satisfy the people from all different religions and in trying to satisfy those who didn’t want God in here Bill had a terrible time with it by that time AA had really divided into you might say three factions in akan where Dr Bob was they didn’t have any problem with God Dr Bob was a highly religious man he used the Bible he insisted everybody he worked with used it too God was no problem there but the New York City people were an entirely different breed of cat they really didn’t want anything to do with God that if they could avoid it they would have preferred a book dealing with the Mind rather than spirituality period and there was a finally a third faction that had said well list talk about God but let’s don’t talk about him too much let’s come down somewhere in the middle of this thing so Bill’s trying to satisfy them all and he said he tried and he tried and he tried and he tried to get started on chapter 5 this is going to be the directions on how to recover and he said I simply could not do it and he said one night while in bed leaning against pillow behind his back leaning against a headboard padding pencil in hand trying to start chapter 5 he said I find it it’s gave up and said I put down the pad and the pencil and said I prayed and asked God for help and direction and he said I meditated for maybe 10 or 15 minutes and he said then after a while I reached over and picked up the pad and pencil and he said It felt as if the pencil had a mind of its own as it raced across the pages in less than 30 minutes he had written how it worked one of the greatest pieces of spiritual information the world has ever seen after he had written it he went back and numbered these proposals and he found out there was 12 he didn’t set out to write 12 he went back and numbered them there was 12 of them there now almost immediately after having done that somebody knocked on the door one of the guys in a New York City group had one of his sponsor sees with him they knew that bill stayed up late working on the book anyhow so they had come by to see Bill on the way home bill could hardly wait to show this to this old older member look look look at the new 12 steps and the older member said what in the hell is this said GE said said we only had 10 commandments and now you got 12 and he said six has been sufficient for everything up till now and he said I don’t like it at all and the fight was on and they fought and they fought and Lois finally came in and gave him a cup of coffee and settled them down then Bill presented this how it works to the other members and that’s when the crap really hit the fan cuz they begin to say to bill this sounds too much like the Oxford Group absolutes you’re going to have to get some of that stuff out of there and they said Bill you’re trying to give directions to people and you don’t have the right to tell anybody what they have to do and Bill this and Bill that and Bill this and Bill that and they almost destroyed not only the book project but the little Fellowship in its entirety now Joe’s going to read how it works from the original manuscript which most of you probably heard before and if he reads through there I think you’ll be able to see the differences between what Bill wrote that night and what the fellowship forced him to change in order to have what we have today let’s go through it for just a moment and see the differences can you imagine what kind of Fight You would have if you left here today went back to your groups and you had 12 sets when you left but now you had 24 oh be a little fighting going on wouldn’t it that’s what B was up to and this is how it works the original manuscript he said rarely have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our directions not our suggestions our directions those who do not recover or people who cannot or will not completely give themselves to this simple program usually men and women who are constitutionally incapable of being honest with themselves there are such unfortunates they’re not at fault they seem to have been born that way they are naturally incapable of grasping and developing a way of life which demands rigorous honesty their chances are less than average there are those too who suffer from grave emotional and mental disorders but many of them do recover if they have the capacity to be honest our stories disclose in a general way what we used to be like what happened and what we’re like now now if You’ have decided you want what we have and are willing to go to any lengths to get it then you are ready to follow directions at some of these you may bulk you may think you can find an easier softer way we doubt if you can with all the hes at our Command we beg you to be fearless and thorough from the very start some of us have tried to hold on to our old ideas and result was nil until we let go absolutely remember that you are dealing with alcohol cunning baffling powerful without help it is too much for you but there’s one who has all power that one is God you must find him now half measures will Avail you nothing you stand at the Turning Point throw yourself under his protection care with complete abandon now we think you can take it here are the steps we took which are suggested as your program of recovery one admitted that we were powerless over alcohol and that our lives had become unmanageable two came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity three made a decision to turn our will and our lives over the care and direction of God as we understood him over to the care and direction of God as we understood him remember that we’ll refer to it later on four made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves five admitted to God and to ourselves and another human being the exact nature of our wrongs six we’re entirely willing that God remove all these defects of character seven humbly on our knees ask him to remove our shortcomings holding nothing back eight made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make complete amends to them all nine made direct amends to such people wherever possible except when to do so would injure them or others 10 continue to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it 11 sought through prayer and meditation to improve our contact with God praying only for knowledge of his will for us and the power to carry that out 12 having had a spiritual experience as a result of this course of action we tried to carry this message to others especially alcoholics and to practice these principles in all of our Affairs now you may exclaim what an order I can’t go through with it do not be discouraged no one Among Us has been able to maintain anything like perfect adherence to these principles we’re not Saints the point is that we are willing to grow along spiritual lines the principles we’ have set down are guides to progress we claim spiritual progress rather than spiritual Perfection now our description of the alcoholic that the doctor’s opinion Bill’s story some of it in Chapter 2 and three the chapter 2 the agnostic chapter 4 and our personal Adventures before and after Bill story and those in the back of the book have been designed to sell you three pertinent ideas well bill was a Salesman you know a that you are alcoholic and cannot manage your own life step one be that probably no human power can relieve your alcoholism step two see that God can and will that arrest a step two now if you’re not convinced on these vital issues you ought to reread the book to this point or else just throw it away go ahead so you can see that bill didn’t he his intention was not just a set of suggestions he was going to give real directions on how to work the steps and when to work the steps and going to give us precise specifically clear-cut directions on how to do that and he was very adamant about it but the TR hit the fan and they asked him and they made him through the argument to make some changes in this original how it works and so today’s high works that we have in the book of the and the changes that was forced upon bill you know and Bill said that he would compromise with him in in this area but he asked he made a deal with them and I can imagine through all the argument that they had up to this point back and forth of this this program the kind of arguments they had they were almost ready to disband and and ruin the little Fellowship of Alcoholic Anonymous that that time so Bill made a little compromise he said I would I would from now on I’ll make these changes but from now on I will complete the rest of this book or else you can do it well they didn’t want to complete the rest of the book they wanted Bill continue to do that so they they agreed to let Bill continue to write the rest of the book without much interference on their part you got almost seal bill when he wrote this and gave it to him and they begin to fight and argue over it and they begin to tell him he’s going to have to change it and remember bill stubborn and bullheaded just like the rest of us and he said no I’m not going to change this and they said well Bill you are don’t you remember it’s not your book it’s our book that’s the deal we made to begin with he said that doesn’t make any difference he said I’m not going to change this part of the book and they said well you are going to change it and he said what you guys don’t realize is these aren’t my words anyhow he said these are God’s words they came after prayer and meditation and they said we don’t give a damn whose words they are it’s our book and you’re going to change it and finally finally Bill realized that if he didn’t compromise they would destroy this project and maybe the whole fellowship and there was a non-alcoholic psychiatrist around in those days and he made some suggestions he said why don’t you change it from directions to suggestions you’ll still get your meaning across and probably more people would accept it and he said where you’re saying you you you he said don’t do that don’t tell them what they have to do change that to we say this is what we had to do and you’ll get your message across and more people would probably accept it and he said where you’re saying must must change that to ought ought and it will be more acceptable now Bill very very reluctantly made those changes now today we don’t know if they hadn’t made the changes if they had left it like it was originally maybe instead of 2 million worldwide we might have 10 million but also if they hadn’t made the changes instead of 2 million worldwide we might only have 10,000 who knows nobody knows we just know this is the history behind this particular part of the book bill was cunning baffling and Powerful also cuz he said okay I’m going to compromise with you but you’re going to have to compromise with me and they said what do you want he said I’m tired I fought with yall I’m going to fight he said if you want me to finish the book then you give me the authority to do so and if you don’t want to give me the authority then you finish the book well they didn’t want to give him that Authority but they didn’t want to finish the book either so they very reluctantly agreed to that now what Bill knew that they didn’t know is two pages later he’s going to put directions and you and must right back in the book he’s had it in the book all the way up to how it works they jerked it out and then he puts it back and that ruins some of the continuity of the book but now that we see what happened it makes more sense the other thing that is so apparent is when he says back here about the three pertinent ideas if I can find it again I don’t trust my memory that good anymore our description of the alcoholic the chapter of the agnostic and our personal Adventures before and after have been designed to sell you three pertinent ideas he’s talking about the doctor’s opinion and the first four chapters and the stories in the back of the book and if we’ve been sold on those three pertinent ideas a that we’re alcoholic and cannot manage your own life then we’re through with step one if if we’ve come to believe that no human power can relieve our alcoholism and that God can and will then we’re through with step two now the very next statement says if you are convinced you are now at step three you see the fallacy and trying to start somebody in in chapter five is it starts with step three and it’s hard to start with step three unless you’ve got one and two behind you people come to us today and they say well how do you work steps one and two and our answer is you don’t they are not working steps there’s no action involved here these are conclusions of the mind that we draw based upon information presented to us in the doctor’s opinion in the first four chapters I’ve always been powerless over alcohol my life has been unmanageable because of that I just did not know that nor did I know why until I read the doctor’s opinion in the first four chapters there’s always been a power greater than I am could restore me to sanity I just did not believe that he would nor did I understand the insanity until I read the doctor’s opinion in the first four chapters now if I can say to myself today you bet you I’m powerless over alcohol my life is unmanageable I’m through with step one if I can say to myself today I I have come to believe there’s a power greater than I am can restore me to sanity I’m through with step two and now then and I’m ready to look at step three now I might make a decision being convinced we were at step three we haven’t took step three yet we were just there which is that we decided to turn our will and our life over to God as we understood him well just what do we mean by that and just what do we do well that’s a very good question is it what does step three mean well we’re going to make a decision that’s part of it to do what to turn our will and what is our will our will is our thinking and our life is our actions we’re going to carry make a decision to turn our will and our life over the care and direction is what the step used to say to God as we understand him our will is our thinking our life is our actions and we’re going to make a decision to let God direct our thinking and direct our life in step three haven’t done that yet but we’re getting willing to do that I’ve always heard a lot of people say one of the most misunderstood steps in the big book is step four and I’ll agree with that but I don’t think step four is any more misunder than step three is I hear people today say I’ve been in AA about 5 years my life’s still all screwed up and I don’t understand why cuz I turned it over to God three years ago and it took step three no we don’t turn anything over to God in step three we make a decision to do something in step three and the decision itself implies we’re going to have to take some further action to carry it out you know one of the greatest examples I can think of is probably four five 6 years ago now Barbara and I made a decision to come to Los Angeles California and visit some of our relatives but we didn’t do anything to carry that decision out and sure enough we didn’t get to Los Angeles that year either second year in a row we made a decision to come to Los Angeles and visit our relatives again we didn’t do anything to carry it out and we didn’t get to California either third year in a row we made that decision only this time it was a little different this time I took the car down and had it serviced Barbara packed the clothes and a little food and we got in our car and we drove from our home to Tulsa Oklahoma then we drove to Oklahoma City then we drove to amarill Texas then we drove to Albuquerque New Mexico then we drove to Flagstaff Arizona then we drove to Barstow California then we drove to San Bernardino and then we drove to Los Angeles and by Godly one day we ended up visiting our relatives in Los Angeles not because we made a decision but because we took the action necessary to carry out that decision now what is it we’re deciding to do well we’re making a decision to turn our will over to the care and direction of God is we understood him what is our will well our will is nothing more than our thinking apparatus our will is nothing more than our mind our will is nothing more than this thing up here that tells us what to do and what not to do you know a good example of the word will tying it together with mind and let’s say that some of us are beginning to approach the end of our Lives which a few of us in here are and we’ve gathered up a few material things and we become concerned with what’s going to happen to them when we pass on we’ll go down and sit down with an attorney and we’ll tell that attorney what we want done with these things I want this to be my spouses this is to go to my daughter I want this to be my son and Etc now that attorney will take my thinking coming from my mind that day write it down in legal terms on a piece of paper I’ll sign it the attorney will sign it and we’ll put it in the safe now a year or two or three later sure enough I kick the bucket and if my family’s like most of them they’re going to call the Undertaker and say come and get him get him ready and let’s get him out that Cemetery about as soon as we can and a couple of days later they all gather out at the cemetery they have me suspended over a hole in the ground they’re all standing around that hole somebody says a few words and gives a little prayer and I hope it’s somebody from AA that does it and when the ceremon is over they start dropping me down in that hole now if my family’s like the rest of them they’re not even going to wait till I get to the bottom of the hole as soon as I start down they jump in the car and they head for that attorney’s office and that attorney gets out that piece of paper and reads to them what my thinking was 2 or 3 years prior to that time when I was sitting there in that office we know they call that piece of paper a will it’s not by accident will thinking mind are all synonymous I’m making a decision to turn my thinking apparatus over to the care and direction of God as I understand him now what else am I deciding to turn over well I’m deciding to turn my life over to the care and direction of God as I understand him and what is my life well my life is nothing more than my actions what I am right now as of this moment is the sum accumulative total of all the actions that I’ve taken throughout my entire lifetime has made me what I am today all action is born in thought say that again please all action is born in thought sometimes we react to a situation so fast we think we do it automatically but we don’t I can’t even reach out and pick up this cup of water unless my mind tells my body to do so so if all action is born in thought then it stands to reason my life is going to be determined by how I think if my thinking is okay chances are my actions will be okay okay chances are my life’s going to be okay too if my thinking is lousy chances are the actions that I take will be lousy and chances are I’m going to have a fouled up life too now when I got to this stage of the program I went to my sponsor and I said I don’t think I’m going to be able to take step three and he said why and I said because if I turn my will in my life over the care of God as I understand him I have no idea what he would have me be and he may want me to be a missionary and he may send me to China and I sure as hell don’t want to go there and he just laughed he said well let’s look at it this way he said at least it wouldn’t be in the hands of an idiot would it he said let’s look back through your lifetime he said you’ve always been a selfish self centered self-willed human being you you’ve always done what you want to do whenever you want to do it and the hell with the rest of them is that right and I said well you know it is he said the end result of that is that you almost destroyed your life and he said just as importantly you’ve almost destroyed the lives of those around you that care for you he said just think if God could direct your thinking it might become better and he said if your thinking becomes better then your actions and your life’s going to become better and he said just as importantly the lives of those around you that care for you would probably become better too but he said Charlie left on your own resources you’re always going to do the same things you’ve always done you’re going to remain Restless irritable and discontented you’re going to stay filled with shame fear guilt and remorse and he said sooner or later under those conditions you’re going to go back to drinking again he said if you don’t find some way to be sober and have a little peace of mind Serenity and happiness you’ll never have any longlasting sobriety and he said you can’t do that on self-will and he got it through to me in such a manner that I was able to make the decision to turn my will which is my thinking apparatus and my life which is my actions over the care of God As I understood him absolutely amazing what has taken place since that time Joe you know remember last night in a area of the uh forward to the first edition they said that precisely prec specifically with clear-cut directions and you know Bill wrote down those precise specific clear-cut directions on the original how it works but they forced some changes on it and when these changes come out and what we see in in the book now those are the changes that are made so a little continuity of the book kind of got mixed up here bills precise specifically and clear-cut directions were altered a little bit but later on he puts them back in the book as we see so right here by the way as far as we know we’re the only species on Earth that’s ever faced with this decision it seems as though all the other species on Earth don’t have self-will that whatever they do at any given time is always done on God’s time at God’s Direction it seems as though we human beings are the only species that God gave this thing called self-will to therefore you see very few of the other species here on Earth Earth in trouble I’ve never seen a tree hit a car yet the one thing wrong with self well is everybody’s got one that’s one of the things wrong with it so a book says and he gives us these little instructions here now they going to come short and sweet we have to be prepared to see them and he says the first he’s going to tell us what to do first the first requirement is that we’ be convinced that any life r on self will can hardly be a success on that basis we almost always in collision with something or somebody even though our motives are good most people try to live by self-propulsion each person is like an actor who wants to run the whole show is forever trying to arrange the lights the ballet the scenery and the rest of players in his own way if his arranged would only stay put if only people would do as he wished the show would be great everybody including himself would be pleased life would be wonderful wouldn’t that be nice if everybody would mind they won’t mind me they just won’t do it because they have self-will my will for my wife and my children is one thing their will and their just life is another they have a a self-will and their thoughts are different from mine when sometimes and most of the times they’re in conflict and they just won’t mind me that’s I know they’d be off a lot better off if they would but they won’t now some 12 or 13 years after Bill wrote The Big Book and after many many years experience with some of the great teachers and Minds in the world and after many many years with with experience with us alcoholics bill was forced to to write the 12 and 12 and he was really trying to push the the traditions on the fellowship he was hard selling the Traditions to the fellowship and they weren’t buying a lot of it but they needed the traditions and he knew that so he decided to write the traditions and he thought well I’ll put some short stories or short essays about the steps in with the traditions and maybe if they will read the steps they’ll eventually read the Traditions so he wrote the 12 and 12 for us and the 12 and 12 again is just a short essays short stories about the steps and it doesn’t tell you how to work the steps it is a short stories about the steps the only piece of literature in AA that tells you how to work the steps is a big book of alol synonymous but in the area of the four step in the 12 and 12 there was some some of the best information the world’s ever seen on about self-will and what makes people tick and it’s called the Basic Instincts of life and I always suggest the people that I that I sponsor that they go to the 12 and 12 read the first three or four pages about the Basic Instincts of Life get a working knowledge about the words that you see in there and then look them up in the dictionary because they’re very important words and then we’re going to use them a little later on in the third column when we get ready to do the four-step inventory so I needed a working knowledge of that information and Bill in his usual manner wrote some of the best information about the basic K things of life and very very important information I think we have to face the fact that in 1937 38 and 39 when Bill was writing the big book he was not a spiritual giant he was not a great student of human nature bill was a night school lawyer a New York City stock Speculator yet he was able to write one of the most spiritual books the world has ever seen dealing with human nature surely surely God took a hand in the writing of the big book book and use Bill’s hand to write the book but by 1950 and 51 and 52 Bill knew a lot more about spirituality a lot more about human nature a lot more about we alcoholics than he did back in the 30s studied with some of the greatest Minds in the world for a period of years and I think he felt that he had some new information that he could give us that would make it easier for us to work the steps according to the big book Alcoholic Anonymous basically that’s what he says in the 12 and 12 that the big book has always been the basic text and always will be you simply cannot work the program out of the 12 and 12 I see lots of people try it but they can’t do it because there’s no directions on how to work the steps and I think that’s why a lot of people love it they can get in it and dance around and philosophies and they never have to do anything except talk but there’s some information in there that is absolutely invaluable that if we can see it and understand it and accept it it makes the working of the steps out of the big book so much simpler and so much easier and these three Basic Instincts of life that Joe’s talking about he taught me in step four in the 12 and 12 more about what makes me tick and what makes makes me do the things I do and act the way I act he taught me there more in two or three pages than I had learned in some 40 Years of Living at that time let’s look at them for just a moment I think it’ll be make it a lot easier to be able to see why we need to make our decision in three plus it sets us up really with information for step four now in your handout sheets you’ve got a little picture in here about the middle in there somewhere I think it’s page 7 and 8 in your handout material which says the Basic Instincts of Life which create self and he said old human beings are born with three Basic Instincts of Life they are god-given they’re absolutely necessary for survival of the human race therefore they are a good thing the first thing he talked about is the social Instinct and he said all human beings are born with a desire to be liked to be accepted to be respected by other people he said all human beings are born with a desire to come together in groups with other people and said if we didn’t have those desires and cared nothing for each other that the world would go into complete Anarchy Doge eat dog situation would rain and eventually under those conditions the human race would fail to survive now he used several terms under the social instinct he uses the term companionship and that’s nothing more than wanting to belong or to be accepted so many of us grew up on the outside of the crowd looking in wanting to be and knew we could not be he uses the term Prestige that’s wanting to be recognized or to be accepted as the leader of the group and the world needs leaders you know I guess somebody back in the old caveman days had to say John get behind that tree with your SP with your spear Jack you get over there with your club and Mary Joe and I run this sucker through here and we’ll have something somebody got to do that most people will take one of two directions either let me be a part of or let me be the leader of in other case it’s based upon what other people think of us self-esteem self-esteem is what we think of ourselves and that’s usually high or low based upon what other people think of us or what we think other people think of us if they seem to like us and accept us we feel pretty good toward ourselves if it feels like they reject us and they don’t want us then we feel pretty lousy toward ourselves pride and I’m glad I got into the habit of going to the dictionary I always thought Pride was something you ought to have all I ever wanted to be as a young boy growing up I wanted to grow up to be a man who walked tall with pride and just a little bit sideways like John Wayne does until I looked it up in the dictionary and it says pride is an excessive and unjustified opinion of oneself we either think too well of ourselves or too little of ourselves and in either case it’s not the truth personal relationships is our relations with other human beings in the world around us Ambitions are the plans for the future to be like to be accepted and so on and so forth all human beings have these things now if I want to be liked and accepted and respected by the world and the people in it the first thing I’ve got to do is decide well what do they want from me Society teaches us those things as we grow up it’ll vary in different parts of the world one part of the World perhaps is a good education another part of the world is to be a large landowner another part of the world is to have a large family any number of things based upon where we live in the world and as we grow up and they teach us these things and we ourselves set goals for ourselves as to what we want to become in the future and if we’re going to reach the goals that we set for oursel we’re going to have to work at it you can’t just be a a bum and set on your Duff and be successful and people like you and accept you if it’s a good education you’re going to have to work at it whatever it might be by the same token we’re going to have to make some sacrifices there are there are some things that I would really like to do as a human being that are very pleasurable and very exciting but if you catch me at it you’re not going to like me at all and I don’t think you and I would do the work necessary to reach the goal nor make the sacrifices necessary unless we get a reward for doing so and the great reward Bill said it in his story when he said I had arrived God how many of us have done it we’ve said set that goal and we just literally worked our tails off for years and the day we reach the goal and they pat us on the back and they say ah Joe you’re a fine fell you’re a good man you’re doing great there’s a feeling comes over us which is one of those indescribably wonderful feelings great great feeling the only thing wrong with it seems to be just a temporary feeling no sooner do we reach the goal we get the praise we get the recognition we get the prestige from it and we look around we say well is this all there is to it and we set another goal and we work and we work and we strive and we strive and we sacrifice and we reach the new goal and we get the praise and recognition feels great doesn’t last long and we set another goal it seems to create within we human beings an insatiable desire for more and more power more and more recognition and we’re not getting it fast enough and they’re not giv it to us the way we think they ought to so what do we do about it well we start taking shortcuts we start doing a little lying a little conning a little manipulating a little stepping on other people’s toes and climbing on their backs and the instant we do so we create pain and suffering for others they in turn retaliate against us and create pain and suffering for us plain that a life run on self-will can hardly ever be a success under those conditions we’ll always be in collision with people places and things second Basic Instinct he talked about is the security Instinct now I know AA we try to live one day at a time but I also noticed about everybody in this room’s got an insurance policy the purpose of the insurance polic is to protect ourselves in the future Bill said all human beings are born with a desire to be secure in the future said if we didn’t have that desire we wouldn’t provide the food the clothing the shelter the things that we need to survive and next winter we would just simply freeze to death or the next drought season we would starve to death so this desire that we have to be secure in the future is a god-given thing and it is necessary for our survival now once again if you’re going to be secure in the future you have to decide well what is it that I need in order to be secure Society usually teaches us those things as we grow up and it varies in different parts of the world one part of the world you only need $4 another part of the world you need 4,000 another part of the world maybe you need 4 million another part of the world you need 198 coconuts whatever it is that they use to measure trade and barter with based upon what we’re taught we set goals for ourselves and we begin to work at it now if you’re going to be secure at the future you can’t just set on your your Duff and be a bum you’re going to have to work you’re going to have to make some money you’re going to have to invest it at the same time you got to sacrifice hell we can’t blow it all today and be secure tomorrow and I don’t think you and I would do the work necessary to reach the goal or make the sacrifices necessary if we didn’t get a reward for it once again the great reward is that great feeling that comes at the moment of successful completion of the goal how many of us have done it we set the goal for the new dress for the new shoes for the new suit for the new drapes for the new couch for the new home for the new car for the new piece of property for the new business and we work and we work and we strive and we strive and the day that sucker’s paid for and nobody can take it away from us what a great great feeling that is Hell back when I was a kid hardly anybody owned their own homes once in a great while somebody would buy a home and they would sacrifice everything they had to pay that sucker off and the day they paid it off the feeling was so great they would call in the neighbors and we would have a great party and celebrated by burning the morgage how great that was don’t thing wrong with it’s just a temporary feeling no sooner got the sucker paid off and I looked around and his house is bigger than mine yeah and he’s got a Cadillac and I’m driving a Chevrolet and he’s got a Brooks brother suit and I bought mine at Kmarts and that causes us to set another goal and we work and we work and we strive and we strive we reach the new goal feels good doesn’t last long we said another seems to create an insatiable desire for more and more and more and more and we’re not getting it fast enough they’re not giving it to us like we think they said so what do we do we take shortcuts we lie we cheat we con we manipulate and the instant we do we hurt other people they retaliate against us creating pain and suffering for us pling to the life front on self-will can hardly ever be a success third Basic Instinct he talks about is the sex Instinct he said all human beings are born with a desire to have sex now it may get turned off by bad teachings or bad happenings but he said all human beings are born with the desire to have sex because if we don’t have sex we can’t reproduce ourselves and if we don’t reproduce herself sooner or later the human race is going to fail to survive so just like the other two if you’re going to reproduce yourself through the sexual act you’re going to have to work at it hell you can do more work in 3 minutes of sex if you can last that long then you’ll do all day digging a ditch don’t you older fellas remember how it used to be when we got through with it my God you just fall over sideways the sweat’s just pouring enough you can hardly get your breath you feel like you’ve died Gone to Heaven come back two or three times gets excited doesn’t he and I don’t think you and I would do that kind of work if we didn’t get a reward for doing so and the great reward is that great feeling we get both physically and emotionally at the moment of successful completion of the sex act one of the greatest rewards that a human being can experience but also just like the other two it seems to be just a temporary feeling hell you no sooner get through with doing it than you get to thinking about doing it again and it’s such a pleasurable and exciting thing the next thing you know you get to thinking about doing it in different ways then you get to thinking about doing it in different positions then you get to thinking about doing it with different people the next thing you know we’re doing it at the wrong time and the wrong way with the wrong people and the instant we do so we create pain and suffering for others they in turn retaliate against us which creates pain and suffering for us yeah it’s plain that a life run on self-will can hardly ever be a success the Fulfillment of these things are so pleasurable that all human beings from time to time will overdo in one or more of these areas and create pain and suffering for others if you’ll notice on that little chart there’s a circle called self that’s where self-will comes from from these three Basic Instincts of life you also notice coming out of the self Circle there’s one called wrongs which is another word we need to look at somewhere we got the idea that wrongs meant a list of dirty filthy nasty items but if you go to the dictionary and look it up you’ll find several definitions of it one definition of the word wrong is incorrect Judgment of other people a little later on we’re going to find out that’s exactly what a resentment is another definition of the word wrong is incorrect believing a little later on we’re going to find out that’s what most of our fears are another definition of the word wrong are the harms and the hurts that we do to other people now it’s easy to spot a selfish self-centered human being one who’s running on self- willll not running on God’s will a selfish self-centered human being is always matter than hell damn him damn her by God I’ll show them they’re not going to treat me that way blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah the selfish self-centered human beings always scared to death can’t depend on God can’t depend on other people and if we’re an alcoholic reaching the end of the road we can’t depend on ourselves any longer and we’re running absolutely scared to death all the time selfish self-centered human being in order to fulfill the Basic Instincts of Life are always overdoing and creating creating harms and hurts for others then we got to be scared to death of what they going to do when they catch us and even if they don’t catch us if God dwells with each of us we know the difference between right and wrong and guilt and remorse associated with those things begin to eat us up now a person whose mind is filled with resentment a person whose mind is filled with fear a person whose mind is filled with guilt and remorse does not feel good and eventually searching for a way to feel better we begin to think about the sense of ease and comfort it comes at once by taking a couple of drinks next thing you know we believe we can drink and we end up drunk all over again so at the very least we’re going to have to do something about this selfish self-centered human being and it seems the way the only way you can do anything about that is through God’s help because God made self will and Only God has the power to overcome that in the very least we’re going to have to do something about these resentments and these fears and these guilt and remorse in order to find the Peace of Mind Serenity and happiness for good long-term sobriety you know if every human being in the world today could fulfill these three Basic Instincts at the level that God intends there would be no conflict on Earth today but all human beings have self will all human beings from time to time will overdo in one or more areas creating Conflict for others and for themselves I never knew that I just knew I was always in trouble I just knew I was always matter than hell I just knew I was always scared to death I knew guilt and remorse was eating me up but I didn’t know where it came from see they gave me the rules but they never taught me how to play the game AAS taught me how to play the game and now that I know how to play the game I don’t break the rules anymore and I don’t hurt other people people and I’m not scared to death and I’m not filled with guilt and remorse this is the greatest information I have ever seen about what makes me tick and what causes me to do the things that I do Joe page 62 it say whatever our prestations are most of us concerned with ourselves our resentments and our self-pity and it’s not that I thought too well of myself or I thought too little of myself is that I thought of myself only that was my problem so it said selfishness and self-centeredness that we think is the root of our troubles and we’re driven by aund forms of fear self-d delusion self-seeking self-pity we step on the toes of our fellows and they retaliate sometimes they hurt us seemingly without provocation but we invariably find that at some time in the past we have made decisions based on self which later put us in a position to be hurt you know alcoholism I self and me see if you don’t have a God in your life and I didn’t there’s only one thing left to live by and that’s the satisfaction of these Basic Instincts of life and I tried to live my life based upon those satisfaction of those Basic Instincts and I overdid in many many of those areas said so our troubles we think are basically of our own making they arise out of ourselves and the alcoholics extreme example of self will run Riot though he usually doesn’t think so above everything we alcoholics must be rid of this selfishness we must do it kills us and God makes that possible can’t heal a sick mind with a sick mind only God makes that possible and there often seems no way of entirely getting rid of his getting rid itself without his Aid many of us have had moral and philosophical convictions of Galore but we could not live up to them even though we would like to neither we could we reduce our self Center as much by wishing or trying on our own power we had to have God’s help well this is the how and why of it see he told us how it works then he told us why it won’t work because of selfishness and self- slenderness and now he’s going to tell us how it really works well this is the how and why of it tells us what to do first first of all we had to quit playing God it didn’t work everything I read leads me to believe this is a god-directed world now if it is a god-directed world then those of us who have been self-directed and those of us who tried to direct everything and everybody out around us we’ve been trying to do God job for him we’re not God we just been playing at being God the book says we’re going to have to quit doing that if we want any Peace of Mind Serenity and happiness in the future I think one of the great mistakes I see today in AA is people trying to force themselves to be better and self-will cannot overcome self-will only God can overcome self will so if we want any Peace of Mind Serenity and happy finish it looks like we’re going to have to turn to God and let him be the director let him do his job which is Direction next next Direction next we decided that Hereafter in this drama of life God was going to be our director not our suggestor our director he’s got his word back now from here on it’ll be directions said he is a principal we are his agents he is the father and we are his children he said most good ideas are simple and this concept was the Keystone of the new and triumphant ARS through which we would passed to freedom and what is that idea this concept that he is the principal and we are his agents he’s the father and we are his children he’s the boss I work for him now when I first got into this area of the the third step I use God like you would an Aaron boy I said God please help me to stay sober and by the way while you’re ready I help him get my wife back which one the the second one I didn’t want that first one back that first one didn’t drink she was mean and ugly I like the one that drank where was that Charlie God get me a job oh yeah God get me a job and by the way pick up a little extra money for me I need some money I use God like he would an Aaron boy send him out like that and after I got sober I got to reading in that other book that other big big book and the front of that book there’s a story about they said he he worked for 6 days and then he rested out of my knowledge he never to go back to work anymore so it look like there be work being done around here it’s going to be me doing the work said he’s the principal we’re the agents he’s the father we’re the children he’s the boss I’m the employer most good ideas are simple and this concept was the Keystone of the new and triumphant Hearts which which we pass the freedom now he’s referring again to that wonderfully effective spiritual structure step one willingness was the foundation step two believing was the Cornerstone now he tells us what we’re building a triumphant Arch through which we’re going to pass to freedom and he said the Keystone of that Arch is a simple little idea that we’re going to let God be the director you know in the old old days when they built arches the stones were all stacked Loosely without mortar and they began to lean together and there was a Center Stone up here called the Keystone and if it was cut right it would support the entire Arch but if it wasn’t it would slip out and the arch would collapse with a keystone of the new and Triumph and arts through which we’re going to pass to Freedom is this simple little idea that we’re going to let God be the director now for most of us that’s the first time we’ve ever had that idea or if we once had it as children we lost it somewhere and instead of being letting God be the director we were the director cuz we told God what we want it God do this God do that God give me this God give me that God if you do that for me I’ll do that for you and not only do we direct God we directed everybody around us but we going to quit doing that we’re going to let God be the boss from this day on now that is a radical idea for people like us this is the decision that we’re making page 63 it says now when when sincerely took such a position the one just described all sorts of remarkable things followed said we had a new employer being all powerful he provided what we needed if we kept close to him and performed his work well see I’m he’s not going to do my work well I’m going to do his work well established on such a footing we became less and less interested in ourselves our little plans and Designs more and more we became interested in seeing what we could contribute to life see I was always a taker and takers are losers in life contributors are those that win I’ve noticed as said as we we felt new power flow in and as we enjoyed peace of mind as we discovered we could face life successfully we became conscious of his presence we begin to lose our fear of today tomorrow or the Hereafter we were reborn you know they used to come over at my house on Monday night from that little church about two blocks from my house and these guys wanted to talk to me about being reborn and you know what I did for him I’m drinking man it’s Monday Night Football you know and they they they want talk me about Reborn about 8:00 be knocking and I’d run them off I said you guys get out of here it’s Monday Night Football I don’t want to talk to you get and that’s the way I did with those guys and I didn’t understand this reborn then at all and I got to reading in that other book after I got sobered and there’s a story in there this guy’s name was Nicodemus yeah Nicodemus was about like me just dumbing the stump yeah and he asked that guy said what do you mean by being reborn do you mean I’ve got to go back into my mother’s womb see how dumb he was and he looked at him and shook his head and said well Nicodemus don’t you know you can’t do that didn’t you go to the university aren’t you educated you can’t do that he said when I’m talking to you about being reborn I’m talking about the renewing of your mind old ideas cast aside new ones accepted reborn in my mind I understood that then and now I’m ready to do business I’m ready to do the third step and I knew what they did on Sunday morning at that little church up there about 11:00 and I couldn’t wait till I got there and they basically asked people to come down there and do the third step prayers what they do so I waited till next Sunday I got there about 3 or 4 minutes till 11: well I didn’t want to get there too early I might hear something that would help me so I got there about 3 or 4 minutes to 11 and sure enough they asked people to do that and I came down there and I did this it said the book said we were now at step three he said many of us said to our makers we understood him God I off myself to you to build with me and to do with me as you will take away my difficulties that victory over them may bear witness that I would bear witness to those that I would help of your power your love and your way of life may I do your will always he said we thought well before taking this Tech making sure that we were ready that we could at last abandon ourselves utterly to him and I don’t know what exactly happened that particular morning but I do know this from that Sunday morning until this moment my life hasn’t been the same it’s as if I’ve been walking on the dark side of the street all those years and all of a sudden I’m on the sunny side of the street and I don’t know what happened except I do know that my life has changed thank God we thought well before taking this step making sure we were ready that we could at last abandon ourselves utterly to him I think the word utterly means completely wholeheartedly all the way the entire ball of wax I hope you don’t make the mistake I did first time I took step three I got on my knees which I very seldom did in those days and I said God I offer myself to thee to build with me and do with me as thou Wilt relieve me of the bondage ofself that I may better do that will take away my diffic difficulty so on so on so forth and as I finished it up I said now this applies to my alcohol don’t fool in my sex life stay out of my money I can handle that too God probably said water order I can’t go through with it I said you take the alcohol and I’ll take care of the rest well today I realize the fallacy in that is as far as I know God doesn’t even drink he don’t want the alcohol he wants me and he wants all of me just think if God could direct my thinking in all areas it might even become better in my sex life it might even become better in my money areas it might even become better in all areas and if my thinking becomes better in all areas then surely my life will become better in all areas too I think we need to realize this is really the decision we’re making to turn our entire will and our entire life over to the care and direction of God as we understand him we found it very desirable to take this spiritual step with an understanding person such as our wife best friend friend or spiritual advisor you know back in the beginning there was never any question about this the new person was expected to take this step in the company of other human beings the first step in the Oxford Group tenants was surrender and when a new person got ready to surrender they would take them upstairs in Dr Bob’s house three or four of the older members they would all get down on their knees the new person would make his surrender then after he was through the older members would vote on how well he surrendered if he didn’t do it good enough he’d probably have to do it again later on I think there’s a valid reason behind this uh you know I’m told that we alcoholics are born to live in three dimensions we’re born to live with God and ourselves and our fellow human beings and if we are praying with other human beings for the first time time we’re beginning to fit ourselves back together in all three dimensions the way God intended in the first place we alcoholics are the funniest people in the world you know we’ll let our family see us on our knees in the bathroom hugging the porcelain Bowl puking our guts up morning after morning after morning we come to AA and we try to straighten out our lives and we’re ashamed and embarrassed and let see people see us pray isn’t that something praying in the company of other human beings is always better anybody I work with that I sponsor I I I require that they take step three with me for two reasons number one if they take it with me I know they have taken it that’s the only way I know for sure but the real reason is is every time we do it together it means more to me and it has more strength and more power for myself I think it’s a great idea let’s take about a 15minute break and we’re going to jump right into step four say in a little bit okay thank you for listening to sober Sunrise if you enjoyed today’s episode please give it a thumbs up as it will help share the message until next time have a great day