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We hope that you enjoy today's speaker. >> My name is Rick and I'm an alcoholic >> from Oxnard, California. Anybody Oxnard?

You know where it is at least? >> I um ever been there? >> Ah, and you admit it.

Um there is a you know this is Santa where where where are we? San Diego right? One of the most beautiful cities in the world right >> really.

Do you have a saying? I mean there must be a saying. >> Serenity by the sea.

>> This >> I'm sorry. >> America's finest city. And I believe it too.

I was down in Otay Mesa today and um I'm glad to be back. But uh you know every city has its sayings. You know Oxnard um Oxnard is uh Bakersfield by the sea.

And uh some of you have been to Bakersfield. Uh I was uh born in New England in a town called Lynn, Massachusetts. Anybody?

Our saying there in Lynn was Lynn Lynn the city of sin. You never come out the way you went in. And um I got a lot of sayings, but uh I'd like to thank Brad for asking me to speak.

The problem with asking an old guy like Brad to get your speakers, he's going to get old guys like me to speak. So yeah. Well, hey, I wasn't always old.

I remember youth. Did we get enough money? Uhoh.

Let's pass the basket again, guys. I got a couple of bucks for you, too. But anyways, uh I'm really happy to be here tonight.

I'm It's all about alcoholism. I don't see a clock. I hate to look at my watch, but uh what is it?

What do we get out of here? 10 10:30, something like that. >> I expected this to be an old people's meeting.

Old people have meetings that started at 7 or 7:30 cuz really, I mean, my my home group is uh is is a 5:30 meeting because I don't get out to much night meetings anymore. But anyways, I came to Alcoholics Anonymous. Um, my first deal with Alcoholics Anonymous was back in 1977.

How many people were born in 19? We don't even go there. But, uh, Brad, what' you raise your hand for?

That's ridiculous. But I happened to be in a mental institution. Things weren't going, you know, real good.

Um, uh, I was 26 years old and, um, I had was ready, willing, and able to commit suicide because my life had just gotten to the point where it sucked. you know, not a lot of details. My life just sucked really bad.

And uh I was I just had enough. It wasn't worth living anymore. But somebody told me if you get certified crazy, then you can collect SSI.

Now, I thought collecting SSI would be a cool thing to do. You know what I mean? Well, it gets you a start.

You know, you get a,000 bucks in the first of the month and at least you can, you know, if you somebody was talking about their job, you know, if the job doesn't go well, you know, at least you got a thousand bucks, you know. And uh so I was checked into Camarell State Hospital to get certified crazy. They made a mistake and they put me on an alcohol abuse program.

And uh Monday, Wednesday, and Fridays, it was in July, sometime in July. I don't really know when. Um but um on Monday, Wednesday, and Fridays, they had AA meetings.

Now, when you go, if you're planning on doing this, I want to give you a little tip. They don't have the checks waiting for you. You have to apply and you have to approve, get approved.

You have to qualify. you know, you have to be crazy, you know. And so they told me I was an alcoholic.

And I said, "Geez, no, I want to be paranoid schizophrenic with suicidal tendencies, you know." Well, to me, the only alcoholic that I ever knew in my life was my dad. And I had already said that I was never going to be anything like him. But paranoid, you know, poo on now.

Could you imagine picking up a woman say, "Hi, my name's Rick. I'm an alcoholic." You know, poo on your alcoholic. But, "Hi, my name's Rick and I'm paranoid schizophrenic with suicidal tendencies.

There's some nurses out there say, "Come here, little boy. I'll take care of you." And I was a little boy back then, too. But uh but when I went to the mental institution, again, the checks weren't there.

So, I was um I was given bugler. I was given, they don't give crazy people caffeinated coffee. I was given freeze-dried coffee, decaf.

Remember back in the 70s, we had freeze-dried coffee. Anybody? You put that stuff in warm water and it puts that fo Well, now it would be crema, right?

But you know, back then it was it was just gunk on the top of the coffee. They never gave us really hot water. I'm smoking bug girl.

I could never roll a joint. I'm spitting out tobacco, drinking this horrible coffee. But on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, they had AA meetings.

Now, that was my first introduction to Alcoholics Anonymous. And I came to AA for all the wrong reasons. So, if you're here tonight for any reason at all, welcome to Alcoholics Anonymous.

And don't listen to those old kajes that say you got to be here for yourself. You know, I don't care. You know, I wasn't there for me.

I knew this. I knew this that I was not an alcoholic. That's what I knew for sure.

And I want to thank you for sharing tonight. I have a little gas, too. I know what you're saying.

But, uh, going to try to get over it there. But, um, the stories are really important. So stories are really important, you know, but in a general way, you know, they're not important for me.

They're important for the newcomers. And I applaud the newcomers that that identified tonight. Do we get any other newcomers that came in?

Is there anybody in their first 30 days that didn't raise their hand? Welcome. What's your name?

Hi, Melissa. Is anybody in their last 30 days? Oh, you ever felt like that?

You know, it's one more time. If that guy, if that if she speaks one more time and says that, I'm out of here. I'm Jesus.

I'm dead. You know, then you know, you're kind of in trouble. You know, you're kind of in trouble.

But uh but anyways, I went to Alcoholics Anonymous for all the wrong reasons. I went because back then you could smoke in the meetings. Remember that?

Some of you old enough to remember. Yeah, it's a new, you know, we had I walked to school 10, you know, 10 miles uphill both ways, you know, kind of thing. But back then, anyways, you could smoke.

It was really a thing that it was actually cool to smoke, you know, and I was cool, so I smoked. And we could smoke inside buildings. We could smoke inside AA meetings, you know.

It was cool. We all did it. As a matter of fact, if you didn't chain smoke and drink coffee incessantly, we would say, "Well, geez, maybe you're an alcoholic, you know, and uh and this would be a nice room because it would be clear, but the smoke ring would be by the by, you know, 11:00 when this meeting is over, the smoke would be down to here." And in a regular meeting, you know, with a regular ceiling, by the time you get up, you were sitting and, you know, the smoke was right there.

And it was really cool. It was really cool. Smoking all the cigarettes.

And you know, the one of the things, one of these silly things over here, it says attraction rather than promotion or something like that. It um back you know what that means is is that we try to live our life in such a way that that people would be, hey, what's up? What's different about him?

What's different about her? Oh, he goes to Alcoholics Anonymous now. Oh, I don't want to hear about Jesus, you know?

But what's different about him and what? So, it's attraction rather than promotion, right? So, they know how to attract me.

I'm a mental patient in a mental institution, Camaro State Hospital. So, you know what they did? They brought in filtered tip cigarettes.

They brought in cookies. And on Friday nights, they had cake. And I'm coming to Alcoholics Anonymous.

And what do you want me to say? Alcohol. Okay.

There was a couple of problems. One, I wasn't an alcoholic. And two, there was a lot of old people in Alcoholics Anonymous.

I mean, I'm talking old. Some of these guys were 45 and 50 years old. It was horrible.

You know, I went to the meetings with this guy Ralph and you know, he was a great guy, but he was 45 or 50. Probably should have stopped drinking by then anyways, right? And he came and he came to the meeting with his liver because his liver was out to here.

And I didn't know anything about I was 26, you know, you know, I was I was still only 5'6, but I was 26 and I was but he used to bring his liver and so we'd give him two chairs and and I'd poke him. Well, he took up a lot of room. And I'd poke him and I'd say, "Geez, you ought to listen to these guys.

You know, it's too bad that I'm not an alcoholic." Again, I wanted I'd run to my therapist and I'd say, "Can I be paranoid schizophrenic with suicidal tendencies?" Said, "No, Rick, you're just an alcoholic. go back to the Yeah, that's what I said. So, I came here and I listened to what was going on.

None of this applied to me. But I listened and the stories were wonderful. People talking about I'm going to tell you a couple of stories about what I did.

But they were talking about stuff that, you know, I'd look and I think, geez, you could have got away with that if you just shut up, you know. But no, guys would come in, guys and gals would come in and they tell stories on themselves that they shouldn't have told, you know, that they could have got away with. And they were just and I thought geez what's going on here you know we had father Martin films you know if I did chalk talk you know y jabaoo chie clansancy all those wonderful people I had opportunity to meet Chuck C back then and um and we had all these wonderful things or you had all these wonderful things and I'd say to guys like Ralph why don't you why don't you listen up here because this is really good stuff it's not going to work for me because nothing's ever worked for me you know and besides I'm not even an alcoholic and even if I was nothing's ever worked for me.

I'm just one of those damn Wilson boys. You know, if you grew up in my town, you were instructed by your parents not to hang around with me cuz I was just a punk. That's all I've ever been as a punk.

Well, I'll fast forward a few years because my sobriety was given to me by the people in H&I. I got involved in H&I and I'm still involved in H&I and I go to uh CMC up in St. Louis uh St.

Louis Abyspo. It's a men's colony. It's a it's a prison.

Um, most of the guys are in there for life. Most a lot of them when I first went in there, I said, "Geez, I wonder what these guys are in here for, you know, and then they started telling me and I thought, God, I don't want to know anymore, you know, cuz uh, you know, thank God for places like CMC, you know, cuz these guys, a lot of them, you know, they really need to be there." And uh but one night I was up there and I was a little nervous and had gas and uh you know I just eaten and I but I was nervous cuz I'm in a in a in a in a fed not it's not a federal but a state pen you know a maximum security with with with criminals you know I mean I mean bad guys and and I said you know I'd never been anything but a punk before coming into Alcoholics Anonymous. And I look in the back and there's a guy and he's smiling.

We make eye contact and I think, geez, you know, even though I've never been to prison, I still get something to give and I felt good about myself. At the end of the meeting, this guy made a special attempt to come up. We had that special prison hug.

You know what I'm saying? And then um and on the way out to the car, one of the guys says, "Hey, do you know what a punk is in prison?" And then he told me, and I'd like to tell you tonight that I have never been anything but a juvenile delinquent before coming into Alcoholics Anonymous. Not that there's anything wrong with that, believe me.

But but I was just a juvenile, a punk kid, you know, just hanging around, you know, just, you know, breaking stuff just to break stuff, you know what I mean? We would um just you just stupid stuff, break windows, break your antenna on the car, and then you know just just and so your parents told you not to hang around with me. And if sometimes I'd be standing right there and they'd say, "I told you not to hang around with those Wilson boys." And I'd be right there.

And you know, I'm kind of sensitive, you know, and and when they walk into the other room, I would steal stuff cuz did I tell you I'm a liar, cheat, and a thief? And that's got nothing to do with me being an alcoholic. My wife is a liar.

My wife is an alcoholic. But she's not a liar, cheater, or a thief. That doesn't means that she hasn't lied, cheated, stolen.

It's just that it's not her first impulse. For me, it's my first. And I know this, and I'm not going to look at any of you now, but I know that some of you out there, you know, go, you know, you think like I do, you know, and and I know that because I didn't think anybody ever knew how I felt until I come into Alcoholics Anonymous.

Do you ever come I'll tell you about me. I came into Alcoholics Anonymous and people were talking about the stuff that I was trying to forget. You know, people said, you know, when I I'd be, you know, all jacked up on speed or something, you know, I talking about stuff, what are we talking about?

Cuz I got an opinion on that. I think, you know, everybody's get talking and then I'd start talking about myself and people would look at, you know, they get that look, you know, like, why don't you just not think about that stuff? And God, if I only knew how to not think about that stuff, then maybe I wouldn't be here today.

The book says we drink essentially because we like the effects produced by alcohol. And I say I drank because I didn't like the way that I was feeling when I wasn't drinking. I had to drink.

I was restless, irritable, and discontented. I made that up and they put it in the book. That's how long I've been sober.

Um, but really I was just, you know, just a loser kid. You know, my dad was the took turns being the town drunk and when you drove by my house, it was painted three different colors and and and we really ran out of money or we didn't care anymore, you know, and uh there was a lot of us, you know, we were Catholic in New England. There was a lot of us or the the best one the first one up was the best one dressed and you know, the lawn mower would be halfway through and you would drive by my house and you go, "Well, there's the damn Wilson house, you know.

Why don't they do something there?" you know, and we wouldn't have a telephone, we wouldn't have water cuz my dad wouldn't pay the bill or whatever, you know, and I just said at a very early age, I'm never going to be like him. And so when I came to AA and I saw that it worked, it wasn't it was okay cuz it wasn't going to work for me. Hell, nothing's ever worked for me.

Amway never even worked for me. Well, I didn't have six friends who needed that much soap, you know, and u so anyways, I came to Alcoholics Anonymous. I was at the end of my my the end of my life and um and I'd like to be able to tell you since that time in 1977, it hasn't been necessary for me to drink, but it has been it's been necessary at least a hundred times.

You know, when my brother died as a result of Vietnam, when my mom passed away, and my mom is just a sweet little old was a sweet little old lady, you know, she's my mom. when my girlfriend left me, when she came back, um, you know, all these times it was absolutely necessary for me to drink, but because of the 12 steps in this little book right here, I stand before you and I have not had a drink since sometime in July because I don't know, I wasn't planning it, you know what I mean? I don't have an exact date.

sometime in July. My the sobriety date that I celebrate is 7 777. And uh so as of this year, I think I'm I think it's 31 years.

It's a it's a long ass time. And I don't want to scare I don't want to scare the newcomers and think I'm not coming I didn't come in here to get sober for, you know, maybe 31 days, you know, maybe, but 31 years. And when you came in and told me about you staying sober, seven years.

And guys go, "Wow, he's sober seven years." And I thought, "Who cares? I mean, who the hell would want to stay sober seven years? What are you crazy?

Why would you want to do that?" I didn't see any I didn't see any benefit into it. So, let me tell you a couple of stories and then I'll get into uh working the steps. And what time is it?

I'm going to have to do this. Oh, I got to hurry because we're almost done because I need 15 minutes to tell you how to work the steps. And I want to tell you this that I really I I love Alcoholics Anonymous.

I really do. And I you know I do a workshop once a year on the steps and we do it in 12 weeks and it's not a it's not a step study. The best way I think not to do the steps is to go to a step study cuz what happens is you go there, right?

And you study about it and you talk about doing it. You don't do anything but you talk about it and you leave there and you think, geez, you know, this is pretty cool. I'm working the steps, you know?

So anyways, that's my own opinion. But uh uh okay. So I'm driving down the street and I wake up.

Pretty exciting stuff. And I realize that I'm going to hit this car just a little bit, you know. So I swing as hard as I can.

And I hit it more than a little bit. And uh and I got to get away, right? Why do I got to get away?

Because I don't have a license. Why don't I have a license? Cuz I lost it for drunk driving previously.

So I'm try I'm getting away. And I make it about a half a block, I think. I realize that my chest is sore from the break in the steering wheel.

My head has been through the windshield partially. It came back. I'm okay.

And um I knocked out my front teeth and the car is demolished. So I got to get away. I I don't know if I park it, but anyways, I get out of the car.

I throw the keys down and I start to run cuz I know, you know, I'm not stupid. And u and I didn't realize this, but there was a cop behind me. And he witnessed the whole thing.

and he said those words that I've always hated to hear from cops. He said, "Hey, Rick." And um and I realized that even if I did get away, what you know, you know, he's going to call on me. So, so I'm surveying the situation and I thought, what could I have done differently?

And the first thought that came to my mind, cuz I'm no stupid. I did go to high school for four years and quit my sophomore year, but that just makes me uneducated. Doesn't make me stupid.

And I thought, what could I have done differently? And the first thought was, Rick, if you weren't drinking, this wouldn't have happened. The second thought that came to my mind was, and you'll you'll appreciate this.

If this is the price that I've got to pay to get what alcohol gives me, I'm in Do I got to go to jail? Do I got to pay a fine? Back then, it was expensive.

DUIs were expensive. I think it cost me $125. How was I going to get that much money?

You know, if this is the price that I've got to pay to get what alcohol gives me, I'm in. And I was 17, 18, or 19 years old. I I don't remember.

And it didn't happen every time I drank. You know, it really didn't. You know, it only happened two, three, maybe four times a year.

But if this is the price that I've got to pay, I'm going to drink. Excuse me. Get out of my way.

It doesn't matter. Besides, I'm only hurting myself. Who's talked about only hurting myself?

My friend, is it Tony? Troy >> Todd, the guy with seven years, he knows his name. Talked about talked about that note that you wrote, that your sister wrote, and how important that is.

You know, how when we think when I think I'm only hurting myself. When I was in that mental institution, they said we went to therapy, right? Anybody been to therapy?

Yeah, I know. And so we went to therapy and the therapist said, "You got to put your blame of alcoholism where it belongs." And that's with your folks. They they're the ones that caused this stuff.

So will you go and and I'm a quick study. I don't need to listen to everything. So uh he says, "I want you to write a letter uh to your folks." Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Okay.

I'm going to So I went to wrote a letter cuz I'm, you know, I want to be finished first in my class or whatever. I don't know. So I write this letter to my mom and it's uh uh it's Hi, Mom.

It's me, Rick. Uh, I know I haven't talked to you in a couple of years. Uh, I'm in California and she was in New England.

I'm in California and I'm in Camaro State Hospital and I'm an alcoholic and it's your fault. Um, can you send me 25 bucks? And I get a letter back and I mail it, you know, and I go to therapy and they said, um, okay, everybody take out their letters.

And I said, "I've already mailed mine." And the therapist the therapist said, "You did what?" And um I guess I wasn't supposed to mail it. It was a therapeutical thing. And um so I get a letter back in a week or so.

And my mom's a 4 foot French Canadian lady, you know, and she just she married to an animal. She got she's married to an animal. I've never heard her swear once.

She'd slam her finger in the drawer. He'd say, "Fishcakes, applesauce, and ice." I swear to God, "Fish cakes, applesauce, and ice cream cone." And when we tried to talk about our dad, she said, "You you guys just never understood." She's that kind of a a lady, just a sweet little And she's my mom and I'll fight you for it. Okay, but anyways, I get a letter back and it says, and and and I can feel the the it says, "Rick, if there's any if there's anything that we did to cause your pain, you know, we're what can I do?

what can I do to make it right? And it went on and it was a very moving letter. And I realized at that point that I was not the only one that I was hurting, that there was other people, even if they weren't around, that people get affected by our drinking, just as people get affected by our sobriety.

But it's more noticeable when we're drinking. You know what I mean? When you feel good, I think you said it.

When you feel good, it's like you feel good, but when you feel bad, man, it sucks, right? And if it's your fault, if I can put it on you, but uh no. Anyways, and then she put in a check for $50.

And you know the kind of guy that I am, I said she could have sent a hundred. You know, I mean, Jesus, I'm her middle son. You know, she loves me bad.

Dad's love me best. And uh Okay, another time I'm driving down the street. I like to drive a lot.

You know, I'm driving down the street and uh I realize I'm drinking whiskey, so I must have got paid because I've been drinking Boon's Farm Apple Wine for a while. cuz I'm going to drink. It doesn't matter.

I prefer whiskey because I don't have to urinate as much, right? There's less maintenance to it. But whiskey is is poison, isn't it?

I mean, we I don't know. I'll speak for myself. I don't like the taste of whiskey.

I tolerated it to get what I needed out of it, right? Just like I didn't like stick a needle in my arm. Okay.

Well, I did like that, but I didn't like the taste of whiskey. As a matter of fact, it would try to come up. But Boons Farm wine.

Anybody drink Boone Farm or any other Do they still make that stuff? I don't Yeah, I don't know. I didn't do it.

But uh you know, I don't really think that it's uh it's apple wine. I think they just make it near an apple orchard. So, it kind of I don't know about you.

It's chemically produced, you know, but um it did it it did its thing, you know. And one of the things that it did for me was not only, you know, you know, make me lift me up spiritually, it would um loosen my bowels, you know, and um well, you know what I'm talking about. Cheap wine loosens your bowels, you know.

So, so I would handle that. But now I'm driving down the street and I got whiskey and I'm trying to pour whiskey down my throat and I'm going to throw up. Do we got any pukers in here?

I'm going to throw up. And um I'm driving down the street, I got clean clothes on, you know? I must have clean I must be going out, right?

because why else would I be driving and uh and I don't want to waste any time. You know what I mean? Cuz I got to get there.

You know, it's not here, it's over there. I'm going to get there and it's going to be different. You know what I mean?

And so I'm going to go there. I'm going there. And now I got to throw up.

Just a small thing. I'll just pull over, throw it up. And and I get the car stopped, but I don't get the door open and I have to and I heave.

Right. And is there anybody here? You know, I I guess really, you know, the lesson is is don't try to stop it if it's coming up, but And I heave and it comes out of every hole in my head, between my fingers, out of my eyes.

I believe it came out of my ears, all over the front of me, all over the windshield. And I filled my pants with Boon's Farm Apple Wine. Now, this ain't going to stop me.

It's just going to slow me down. And you know what I mean. So I turn on the windshield wipers, but it's all on the inside, so it has no effect at all, but that's just some of the stuff.

Now, I did some degrading stuff, too, you know, but we ain't got enough time to go into that. I am an alcoholic and it's important for the newcomers to know that that alcoholism isn't a moral issue. It's a two-fold disease.

One, it's a it's an allergy of the body coupled with an obsession of the mind. The allergy of the body is almost in inconsequential. The obsession of the mind is the tough one.

We kind of banter the term obsessed. I'm obsessed about it. But really, you know, some people who are obsessed about other things.

You know, some people who are obsessed with alcohol. Those are the people who are drinking. If I was obsessed with alcohol tonight, I'm drinking or I'm on my way to drink or I'm fighting to get away from you because I'm going to drink or I'll pick a fight with you.

You don't like that? Well, kiss my you know I'm going to I'm going to do something and I'm going to drink because I'm obsessed. And the word obsessed and you know what I'm talking about because you have been obsessed if you're an alcoholic.

An obsession of the mind that nothing else can get in there. Nothing else can get in there. You know, and you know some people who have to wash their hands or count their things or whatever, turn on the light.

You know that that's an obsession. They cannot not do it. And I could not not drink.

And once I got it into my body, does it say, you know, that we we had an an allergy that created a craving. I've never had a craving. I never stopped drinking.

I never tried to quit drinking. I don't know about you, but I've never had a blackout. Well, at least any that I can remember.

But uh I come to Alcoholics Anonymous and I'm and I'm I'm ready to die, but I'm not going to quit drinking, you know, because actually I was in Alcoholics Anonymous for a little while and I was uh going to quit drinking. I was going to quit drinking, but I wasn't going to stop drinking beer. Who was that guy that that took a chip tonight and talked about trying to drink beer slowly so that his alcohol ever I mean that's that's absolutely that's an obsession, man.

You know, that's really that's really I understand that kind of stuff. Um, and so anyway, so I came into Alcoholics Anonymous and I and I and I went to the Saturday night meeting was Oxnard Saturday night meeting and I became the best chair putter away that Oxnard ever had. They probably Have you heard Rick Wilson?

They talk about me down here. Well, it'll come up, you know, hey, who's the best chair putter away in Southern California? That's me.

That's Rick Wilson. So, you can put a face to the name. Um, but what happened was, see, I'm not a sports guy.

I don't know nothing about those Padres's or nothing, you I don't know who Derek Jeter is. I don't even care, you know. Uh but you know if so if somebody come in and they said because a couple of things they say hey how about how about Derek Jeter?

What is he play football or something? I don't know. But you know they'd ask me I don't want to feel stupid.

Hey or just as important they say what the hell are you doing here man? That ever happened to you? What the hell are you doing here man?

Don't you know what you did last night? That happened to me a lot. And the answer is yeah I remember what I did you know because I'm I don't black out.

I remember every rotten thing that I've ever done. But if I'm putting away your damn chairs and somebody said, "What the hell are you doing here?" I'd say, "Hey, man, I'm just putting the chairs away." How about Derek Jeters? Hey, let me get those chairs put away and I'll get right back to you.

You know, I could, you know, nice day kind of thing, but that was about the limit of my thing. So, anyways, I started putting away um your your chairs. And I used to sit right up front because I was instructed to.

And I look over and there some damn newcomer came in and he started putting away my chairs. So I watched him and he wasn't very good at it. So I felt, you know, so I would put my chairs away and then I would run away around and put his chairs away.

You know, 10 minutes. We can't work the steps in 10 minutes. We can.

I bet we can. You know, there used to be there was a there's a story in the back of the book. Let me tell you about the chair putter away at first.

He wasn't very good at it, so I went around and put his chairs away. Is it really 10 minutes? I've been having a good time here tonight.

15. Wait, is it really almost 10:30? Oh we're are running out of time.

You guys are never going to get sober. So I was putting the chairs away and and he was putting the chairs away. Didn't do it very good.

I ran around and put the chairs away better than him. And you know, and I felt secure because he wasn't very good at it. But something had happened.

I started putting away your chairs. Now I'm putting away my chairs. One night, and I don't remember when it was, I started putting away our chairs.

And I've been a member of Alcoholics Anonymous ever since because I say so. I heard a guy say, "I love you and you can't do anything about it." But working the steps and and that's what I'm going to get into. Working the steps.

This is a very important book here. Uh I know I'm a wonderful guy and you know I got a lot of stories but the book is really what it's about. And in the book it's got 12 steps.

In the book there's a story in the back and it's a guy who talks about working with Dr. Bob. Back in the beginning there was six steps.

I don't know if you knew that, but there were six steps. Okay. And what happened was Bill went to Starbucks, got a couple of double, you know, things, went home, wrote the book, and all of a sudden 12, you know, um I don't know.

And um you know, there's a group someplace. I would ask you to do them now because if you did them back then, you only had to do six. Now you got to do 12.

You know, there's a group someplace trying to make this a 24step program. So if you do them now, you only get away with 12. But anyways, in the book, I think it says he said he sold himself short where he talks about working with Dr.

Bob, who was pretty much an authority on the program, founded the damn thing. But he talked about working the then sixstep program. And you know how long it took him?

Two to three hours. 3 to four hours. I say two to three, but it's actually 3 to four hours.

He took an afternoon, a Wednesday afternoon, and did the steps. So I would like to to challenge you tonight to do the steps. Let's go through them real quick.

First step, admitted that you're powerless over alcohol, that your life is unmanageable. No work to be done there. You've already done all the work.

You're here. You're here in America's finest city. America's finest city on a Tuesday night.

One of the arguably one of the most beautiful places in the And you're in an AA meeting. Just admit it. Now you can write and I know there's people out there that tell you to write and you can do that and I'm sure it helps but you ain't got to just admit it step two there's nothing to do with step two came to believe that will happen to you if you come come to and come to believe and all you have to do in my humble opinion to do step two is go to another meeting that's all you have to do and when you do that you will come to believe by the stories that you hear step three is make a decision how many decisions have you made right now and since I've been talking you can make a decision Just like that, you know, just like that.

You're never going to do it. You know, somebody was talking about making plans. I got plans.

I ain't never going to get to them, you know, but I got plans. I'm going to do it. You know what I mean?

I'm a dreamer, a thinker, a schemer. But it's, you know, it ain't going to happen. But all you have to do is now I had a problem with the word God.

So I had to change it to group. So I made a decision to turn my will in my life over to the group of Alcoholics Anonymous. And I did that.

I realized I did that after I did that because I was coming to Alcoholics Anonymous on a daily basis. I was going to two to three meetings a day. On Sunday, I could get in four.

And I did that because we set the bar really low in Alcoholics Anonymous, right? Low enough so a guy like me can crawl over it because I'm not a nice guy. I really am not.

So step three is all you got to do is make a decision. Step four, I got sober in the 70s, right? And everybody in the 70s, it was a big thing.

Everybody was going into past life regressions, right? They wanted to remember the stuff they forgotten. They wanted to know if they were po uh, you know, chief sitting bull or Pocahontas or I don't know what they want, but they wanted to remember the stuff.

So, they would come to me and they'd say, "Rick, what about the stuff I don't remember?" And I would tell them, "Don't write that stuff down." You know, there's another portion in the book that said, "More will be revealed." And how do you do the four step? It's simply laid out right here. Who are you mad at?

What did they do? Now, is there anybody here who doesn't know who they're mad at? And if you know who they're mad at, you who you're mad at, you know what they did and what it affects.

That's where you need a sponsor. It's going to take a little bit. And there's a lot of there's a little bit of work to do there on step four, but please don't take it.

Don't take two months to do step four. Do it this weekend. Do it this weekend.

If you had a headache, would you take aspirin one grain at a time? You know, if you're anything like me, I take three eedrins if I think I'm going to get a headache. You know what I mean?

>> Right. I'm I want to get it over and done with. You know, you don't go to the dentist and say, "Hey, could you take a half an hour and pull that tooth?

Do it and get it over with." And I got to tell you this that you won't do it completely. You won't do it right. It will not be the perfect fourth step.

And it doesn't have to be. All it needs to be is as good as you can do it at that particular time. That's all it needs to be.

It doesn't take much of a man or a woman to make it an alcoholic synonymous, but it does take them all. And if you do these things to the best of your ability, then you can get and stay sober. And after you do this stuff, you share it with somebody.

Step six, there's nothing to do in step six. It's a statement. put in first person present tense from a guy who went to high school for four years.

It says, "I am ready to have God remove all these defects of character." There's no action words there. I am ready. And if I am not ready, then I need to go back.

How far back? I don't know. How far back do I have to go?

At least to four, maybe to three. Maybe to one, but it's going to vary. Step six is a statement.

Step seven, we ask God to remove these defects of character. You notice it says shortcomings and defects of character. I go to meetings and they talk 15, 20 minutes about the differences.

I looked it up in the in the dictionary. One is the definition of the other. They're the same things.

It really is. And I'm not making this stuff up. Look it up.

It's right there. You know, Bill just didn't want to use, you know, with all that coffee in him. He didn't want to use the same word.

you have a right and and I it helps me in my writing anyways. Um, step seven, step eight, made a list. And then in step eight, it says we've already got the list, but what if it's not complete?

I say complete it. You know, just fill it in. Made a list of all the persons we had harmed.

Not all the people that we didn't like. I don't go up to Brad and say, Brad, you know, I've always thought you were a pompous ass, but now I'm doing my, you know, I'm going through I'm believing in I'm thinking about believing in God and and I'm sorry that you're a pompous ass. You know, I mean, that's not But if I thought Brad was a pompous ass and I and I drilled a hole in the bottom of his boss's boat, now I owe him an amends cuz I did some harm.

Made amends to such people wherever possible except when to do so would injure them or others. Okay? Made direct amends face to face, over the phone, by a letter.

Made direct amends to the people that I can. Indirect amends when you can't. And that's when your sponsor will come in.

That's step what? Nine. Step 10.

All you have to do is continue to do the stuff that you done up to this point, right? Continue to take personal inventory. Some people say, "Hey, you only do one four step.

You do a nine step on the rest of it." Okay, well, I'll give you that, but what's the ninep say? Take an inventory. What's four steps say?

Take an inventory. Okay, so let's get over that one. Um, continue to take personal inventory.

Just continue to do the stuff that you've got done up to here. Step, what are we 11 says that? What does it say?

Something I'm running out of time here. sought through prayer and meditation to continue that contact that we have with the power greater than ourselves and if it if it you can't say God I can understand that continue to to to improve that conscious contact whatever with whatever brought you to this point and 12 having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps we tried to carry this message and what is the message I think the message is at least the message that I try to carry is that alcoholics anonymous works through a set of spiritual principles and then the hard part comes and to practice these principles in all my affairs. Um, my time is up.

Uh, thank you for having me here tonight and I love you. >> Thank you for listening to Sober Sunrise. If you enjoyed today's episode, please give it a thumbs up as it will help share the message.

Until next time, have a great day.