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We hope that you enjoy today's speaker. >> Actually, we have a exactly right. We have a we have a a a wonderful speaker uh uh to for you now at this point.

And uh um I I had a the chance to have dinner with with JS from LA last night and with another friend from the program. I I had never heard of Jay myself, but uh one of uh the gentlemen from the program, he he was so excited to meet to meet Jay and he talked a lot about this various speaker tapes he had heard over the years and and he was so excited and you know we were talking about meditation and other things and I and I was looking into Jay's eyes and I was I could just see this this spirituality that reminded me of my my I have a a a master uh uh meditation master uh he's been a monk for 30 years teaching meditation and when I looked into his eyes I I could see the same look that I see in in my uh meditation master's eyes and and uh so there's incredible sobriety in this man and I and I understand he has an incredible story to share with us all. So, uh, thank you very much for, uh, for for coming to join us here, Jay.

Please welcome to tonight's speaker, J from, uh, Los Angeles. >> Good evening, friends. My name is Jay Stennet, and I'm an alcoholic.

And God's doing for me today what I couldn't do for myself cuz it's like 8:15 on a Saturday evening in the holy city of Patia and I haven't had anything to drink today which is just absolutely remarkable. Uh before I get rolling here I'd like to thank Al for being so sweet to me. Tommy for being so understanding and uh I I really appreciate you guys and everything that you've done and and the rest of the committee.

Uh and um but before I start, I I would like to speak to our hosts uh our friends that that that uh that we are so privileged to be in your country and uh it's the first time that I've had the opportunity to be here. And I'm going to speak and I'm going to be using some language that may seem a little odd. I'm going to talk about God a lot.

And one of the lines that I was taught when I came into Alcoholics Anonymous on the second day of May in 1979 was that uh if you'd done as much for me as God had, I'd talk about you a lot too. about when I use the word God, what I am referring to, I'm using a short word and it can be a metaphor. It can be used a lot of different words can be substituted for it.

The word good, the word grace, the word light, the word truth. When I say God, I am referring to an experience that I had in Alcoholics Anonymous that is beyond words and is beyond understanding. And so when I use the word, please don't get offended.

Please don't try and box it into anything. just kind of open up and kick back and relax because that's what this power is that I found in Alcoholics Anonymous. Now, I mentioned to you that I came to you on the second day of May in 1979.

And although I found it necessary on a lot of occasions, I haven't taken the front drink, I haven't sniffed any glue or done any of those other things that I found to be so consoling. So, if you're new with us in Alcoholics Anonymous, my experience is that you don't ever have to drink. You don't ever have to use again one day at a time.

And there is that just happens to be my story. There'll be other people who get up whose story is different than that. And there is no good or bad to it.

But this is my story is that suffering can end today at this moment. And there are a lot of people in this meeting tonight, people that are sober members of Alcoholics Anonymous, people who are members of the Alenon family groups, and they may be crippled by other things. And I'm here to report that these same 12 steps can be used to alleviate any suffering that you are are uh are experiencing.

And there are women and men that understand and have a language that can help you. And this is a marvelous, marvelous thing that we've been given for fun and for free. this thing we call Alcoholics Anonymous.

Now, I did not grow up wanting to be an AA member. Um my uh my father's family is are from the hills of Kentucky where they drink a lot and uh and he was a good-looking guy and he moved fast and uh and my mother was a good-looking gal and uh she needed to drink and she didn't and uh so the unreovered Alanon was the source of a lot of entertainment in our home. And uh and I'm a grateful alcoholic.

And you well, what's a grateful alcoholic? Well, see, I haven't had anything to drink today. And the disease of alcoholism killed my stepmother, Marca.

Cerosis of the liver. Killed my brother-in-law, Douglas. Cerosis of the liver.

um took my father out years before he should have died. And uh and yet I walk a free man. I walk a free man today.

And if you're in Las Vegas and you go to Stairway 2 to the morning meeting, you will find my sister Regina who's sober 26 years. So not only does alcoholism run in my family, but recovery runs in my family. And then I've got another sibling.

She's one of these girls. I don't know if you've met them. They date poorly and they marry worse.

And if you meet my sister and her husband, you will say, "Oh, these poor homeless people." And yet this is the choice that they've made. They say that there's no drugs or alcohol involved. And I have no experience to say that it is different than them, but they have uh they have no engagement at all with society.

And uh I believe that that comes from alcoholism, the family disease. Now, I was the short guy in school. I don't know if you remember the short guy.

I can't throw the ball as far and I can't run as fast. But when I'm 12 years old, I find something I can do better than guys that are bigger and tougher and stronger than me. Metabolize beverage alcohol.

Obviously, this is a gift from God. And when one is gifted, one pursues one's gift with enthusiasm. Now, I had no idea that what I am is I'm part of a class of people.

It looks to be about 10 to 12% of the population that when we drink, it does stuff to us that it doesn't do to 90% of the population. See, when I drink, you get fascinating. When I drink, suddenly I can use my whole lung capacity.

When I drink, there's this band that goes around my neck and around my chest and it comes loose. And I don't even know it's there. And suddenly I am free.

And I don't understand that that doesn't happen to most people. Now, how do you find out? How do you figure out whether you're one of these people, these what we call an alcoholic synonymous, these allergic types?

Okay, when I put alcohol into me, it makes me goofy. Um, in fact, the definition of an allergy is an abnormal reaction to a substance. I abnor I reacted abnormally for the 60s and most of the 70s and uh and so when I drink it sets off this physical craving in me and uh it's been around so long that the Chinese have a proverb about it and it goes that the man takes a drink and then the drink takes a drink and then the drink takes the Man, I guess I can sit down then.

I mean, that's that's the disease of alcoholism. I I had no idea. And that when I drink, it sets off this thing that we call the phenomenon of craving it.

I want more. And I don't know when it is that I'm going to stop. Now, if you want to figure out whether you're alcoholic or not, take a look at what it is that you do for recreation and then what happens with most of the population if they do the same thing.

For example, by the time I'm 16 years old, my idea of a good time was to take a rack of reds, three high-powered second, and wash it down with a quart of spinata wine. In 90% of the population, the non allergic types, when they mix that stuff together, they go into a coma. with me.

I'm looking for car keys and to make short-term romantic commitments, which brings me to another manifestation of this allergy of the body that I have, this alcoholism, which is that I suffer from a thing called blackouts. Now, what a blackout is me medically is it is the brain's inability to bridge the short-term memory to the long-term memory. And what happens in my case is that I wake up with life forms with which I was unfamiliar that morning when I left the house.

Now, think about this. This is something that I do frequently. And I think it's kind of part of the whole thing.

Normal people, the non-allergic types, they wake up with something they're not familiar with. They change their behavior. With me, I'm just looking for more.

So, I've got this allergy of the body that when I put alcohol in me, it sets off this craving. And then there's this obsession of the mind. And the mind goes like this.

It goes, "We should be drinking. We should be drinking now. We're not drinking.

Look at all these links. Let's get the hell out of here. Let's have some fun.

We're not having any fun here. Let's get the hell out now. And it's the middle of third period and I'm a junior in high school.

And being an alcoholic male, I actually believe that if I think it, I got to do it. Oh boy. So, I got this mind that's saying that we should be drinking and it doesn't stop until I take the drink.

And then once I take the drink, I start going and I don't know where I'm going to stop. Now, does this happen every time? No.

But it happens frequently enough that I get in a lot of trouble. Now, Dave, did this ever happen to you? You come home and they've changed the locks.

I missed the memo. And so, what do you do? You you you pound on the door and then you look down there and you see that the alcoholic luggage is waiting for you.

Two trash bags with all your worldly belongings cuz the gals in here know that there's no guy that's worth more than two trash bags. The rest of the stuff just ends up on the lawn and and so you knock on the door, right? And cuz obviously there's been some kind of a mistake.

And finally after you wake a few neighbors up, you say, you know, she opens the door and she's standing there and she's crying. She's going, "What the hell's wrong with you? Where have you been?" Well, I've been busy doing what?

And I can't answer. I've been busy. And it isn't until I come to you, till I come to Alcoholics Anonymous, till I learn about the phenomenon of craving, the obsession of the mind, and the allergy of the body, that I learned that I'm not a bad guy getting what I deserve.

What happened? We got off work. We went and had a few pops with the boys.

We drank until the bars closed. In California, it's it's horrible. it 2:00 in the morning, they stop serving.

It's it's it's horrible. And so, and then you have to go to an after hours place where you drink until 6:00 in the morning when you can get a real drink and you go to a bar that opens at 6:00 a.m. and you get a little food and you push it around on the plate and then you go and you get some of that Peruvian marching powder, that little little non-habit forming cocaine.

Back in the 70s, cocaine was not addictive. We just did it all the time. And And so you do a little of that stuff and you keep drinking through the day and through the night.

And I'm home because it's the only place that's open. And she looks at you and she goes, "You knew my mother was coming for dinner. You don't love me.

You'd rather be drinking with your friends and I don't have any way of defending my behavior. I don't know that what happened is I took the front drink and I was off and running. Now, did this happen all the time?

No. Now, Tommy, I I don't know if this ever happened to you. Did they ever look at you and say, "No drinking at work and no drinking before you come into work either." Now, I don't know about you guys, but I hate to pay retail.

I just hate it. So, my idea of an ideal career path was to attend bar, preferably during the day, so I was available for the evening's activities. And so I say, they look at me and they say, "No drinking at work and no drinking before you come in." Okay, fine.

No problem. So I get off from work. I get off work.

I go have a few pops. I get home early. Now again, this is in this strange place, California, where they close the bars early.

But I if I get home at 1:30 in the morning, half an hour before closing time, I'm home early, right? And I and I and I lay down and and uh and try to get a little rest and and uh and then I pop up about 2 and 1/2 hours later. I'm going to talk a lot tonight about sponsorship.

And what sponsorship is is it's a person who has real life experience scar tissue that's willing to share with you for fun and for free so you don't get so badly mangled. And I had good sponsorship before I came into Alcoholics Anonymous. There was a guy at the bar who told me that if I put a cold beer next to my bed that when I popped up because the depressant alcohol had washed through me.

popped up. If I drank that beer down, I'd be able to go back to sleep for another two and a half hours. Problem solution.

I follow it. Things got better. Anyway, so I I I I do that.

I get up, start getting ready for work. I have another couple of beers, get into the shower, and it's a great shower. And I think you guys all know what a great shower is.

It's a shower where there's room for the ashtray and the drink. And then I get ready to get on the bus to go to work and and in this day these days actually I was in Seattle and uh this bus I'm the reason that I'm a man of the people that I'm concerned about the environment that I'm going green is the fact that the police have put my car in impound and I haven't been able to get it out. But of course, that's not what I'm just So, I take the bus and it's going downtown cuz that's the only kind of bar that's going to hire me is a place downtown.

And this was in Pioneer Square in those days. And and I stop and I have another beer on the way in. And my tongue gets a little thick and the owner looks at me and he goes, "What the hell is wrong with you?

didn't we just have a conversation yesterday where you said that you weren't going to have anything to drink before you came to work and I look him dead in the eye and say I have not been drinking because I know like you know that beer is not drinking right it's a food right I mean the people who are trying to tell you that beer is drinking are the same people that are going to try and tell you that smoking marijuana is doing drugs No, it's what you do in between drugs, right? And he's And I'm standing there in front of this guy and he says, "You'd rather drink than work for me. Get the hell out of here.

Here's your check." And I say, "I haven't been drinking." I could not differentiate the true from the false. I had drank away my ability to know what really was going on. I literally thought that I was not drinking.

And so what this what I'm describing to you is the other part of this malady that I have this alcoholism which is the soul sickness because I violate the trust of anybody who ever put any in me. be be you my family member, my employer, my girlfriend. At some point, my buddy.

At some point, you and I are going to have some kind of thing that we're going to do. We're going to have a good time. We're going to meet and I don't show up.

And you said, "Where were you?" And I have no idea where I've been cuz I took the front drink. One drinks too many and a thousand. And I don't know this.

So I reached the point where I'm living in my car now. It was a Pinto. For you younger folks, it was a smart car for alcoholics and uh I was just driving from town to town stealing alcohol and and and gasoline.

And I got I I got arrested a bunch of times. And I'm not talking about arrested. I'm just talking about getting arrested for such high crimes as drunk driving, drunk in public, drunken auto, public napping.

And uh I just I couldn't put together 3 months without them saying get in the car. I don't know why but but and and so my father was kind enough to bail me out and over a vodka rocks um he said do you think you have the disease and the still small voice inside of me this still small voice that every woman and man that I've spoken to hears um said pay really close attention. He might pay for the lawyer.

And so I said, "I don't know." And uh he said, "I got a buddy I want you to talk to." And so I called this guy up and he said, "Meet me at the Howard Johnson's in Culver City tomorrow morning at 7:30." He said, "Don't have anything to drink and don't smoke any of that crap either." How did he know? And uh so I get to I go vibrating in because I haven't had anything to drink yet. And and he starts talking about himself and talking about himself.

He had problems in his life. He met Alcoholics Anonymous. Problems.

Alcoholics Anonymous. Alcoholics Anonymous. No problems.

And he's talking about himself. And he's talking about himself and he's gone on for about a half an hour and I I just am disgusted. He's talking about not drinking.

I am not interested. And uh finally I said he's not closing me. So I figure well I'll prompt him.

I said do I need psychiatric treatment? Do I need religion? Uh and he looked at me and he said I said do I need hospitalization?

And he said listen trick. He said, "A a treatment program will cost about $3,000. If you or your family can get your hands on three grand, go out and drink that money up.

And when you're done, call Alcoholics Anonymous. They do it for fun and for free." And then he got up and he looked at me and he said, he didn't say, "Oh, let me take your hand and take you down the road of sobriety." He said, "If you want it, you're going to have to go after it the way you got your drink and your drugs." He said, "It's in the white pages of the phone book. Call him, kid.

Good luck." And he left. He didn't even pick up the tab. And if I would have known, I would have reported in New York, you know, I mean, and uh so anyway, uh what do you do?

Well, I went home to my grandmother's house, my grandmother, Marie, who just turned 101 on Valentine's Day. She still lives in her home in Elsagundo, and she sends her love to you. And uh she loves Alcoholics Anonymous.

I got sober at her house and I uh I went home to her house and I poured myself a water glass full of Davies County oldfashioned Kentucky Bergam, three ice cubes and I drank it down and I called AA and I ended up at a noon meeting at the old Manhattan Beach Club and I went vibrating in there up the steps. Uh, I walked into the clubhouse and the woman behind the coffee bar unit said, "You upstairs." I didn't know I could say no. It was before newcomers had a union.

So, I went upstairs and and and everybody started talking at me and I couldn't understand why were they talking at me. But, see, when I've been drinking, you can tell that I spent a lot of money getting my hair styled. like every six or nine months.

So, I kind of look like the Sphinx. And when I light my cigarettes, it looks like I've called in a napal strike, you know? I just And uh And the third guy that talked was a guy by the name of Butcher Joe.

Joe Hacker. You can always tell Butcher Joe. I mean, his last name literally is Hacker.

and and he looked right through me and he talked about when the family left how he cried the big crocodile tears and inside he's going, "Yes, now we can drink and nobody is going to bother us." I understood that. And he talked about knowing just how deeply to cut himself so that they would have to take him to hospital to get stitches and he could get the drink that he needed along the way. And he looked right through me and he said, "You don't ever have to feel the way that you feel about yourself ever again if you're willing to do the things that I've done." And I believed him.

I believed him. How did he know? How did he know?

I'm the kind of guy that if I run out of money, I know how to go into a bar and set up a bet with the bartender and I will eat a beer glass so that I can get enough money to keep drinking. And I haven't had to mutilate myself in over 31 years since that man said to me, you don't ever have to feel the way that you felt about you feel about yourself ever again. And that's the reason that I came here was just to say that that no matter where you are on the path, we're here.

We're safe. The fight's over. this could be a good time.

And the meeting went around and all, you know, I mean, people were talking, they weren't talking about their day. They were conscious that there was an alcoholic withdrawing from alcohol in the meeting. And so they were talking about powerlessness.

They were talking about the front drink, all that stuff. and and uh and like Joyce had just gotten let out of the nutouse and she'd come to the noon meeting instead of going to the tavern and everyone was thrilled. And uh at the end of that meeting, something miraculous happened.

There were four guys that were going down to the Strand to play cards and watch girls go by on roller skates. and they invited the new man along as entertainment. And in that 2 and 1/2 hours, they explained the program of Alcoholics Anonymous to me.

They said, "This is aa kid. We don't use no dope here." I was horrified. I don't think I would have gone to the meeting.

But at that meeting, because people had been sharing about the disease of alcoholism, I'd gotten that I was powerless over alcohol. Now when I saw the steps, it was not my language. When I saw the tradition, it was not my language.

But I understood that these people had the problem I had and they had a way out. And just like any society you're going to join, any group of people, they have a language of their own. And you got to learn their language.

And so I started to get this AA thing down and they said to me, "We don't drink. We don't use. We don't go with girls who do." What an order.

I can't go through with it. But they I I'd gotten at that first meeting that it was the front drink. And they explained to me that if I smoked that medicinal marijuana that sooner or later I was going to need to cut the cotton mouth.

I was going to have to, you know, Pepsi wasn't going to do it. I was going to need to drink a beer. And if I was doing that uh cocaine, I'd need a double R with a twist just to take the edge off.

That's not drinking. It's just taking They said that was drinking. And if you're being spiritual and dropping a little acid, you need a gallon of wine just to settle through the experience.

They said that was drinking. Who knew? I didn't.

I thought it was just settling through the experience. But they said in the doctor's opinion, in the book Alcoholics Anonymous, Silkworth talks about non-alcoholic beer. You know why it's called non-alcoholic beer?

Because it's not for alcoholics. It has alcohol in it. And in the doctor's opinion, Silk says for these allergic types, mwah, the only therapy that we have is abstinence from alcohol in any form whatsoever.

Doesn't give like little percentages, you know. Um, they explained to me that if I had a little cough and I went to the pharmacy, if the cough syrup was uh sold with a shot glass on it, it probably had alcohol in it. You know, real practical stuff.

Who knew? And they explained to me about staying away from the front drink, about not using anything that would lead me to that front drink, and that if I did that, I could stay sober. And they told me something, and I didn't believe them.

They said, "This is the last time you ever have to withdraw from alcohol." No, not really. And they told me that the obsession of the mind that screaming in my head would leave. And I looked at them and I nodded my head and I went, "You don't have a clue what you're talking about.

It's always been with me." They were right. I was wrong. I didn't know.

I didn't know it was possible. And so I went home that night, you know, and I and and the next night and I almost drank. I came in on a Wednesday and on on Friday night I almost drank.

I I was on my way to the Stickenstein. Um I wasn't going there to drink, mind you. I was just going to find a woman who understands.

And along the way, the miracle of Alcoholics Anonymous happened for me. This little voice said, "Turn the car around. This is not a good idea." And for the first time in my life, I actually listened to the voice.

Before I was just blew past it cuz it just sounded like somebody was trying to limit the amount of fun I was going to have. And I turned the car around. I went back to the Alano Club.

And uh I talked to this guy, Larry, and he and he got me a copy of the Big Book. And I went home with it. I didn't want to get the big book too early because I didn't want to look like I was just coming from Bible study.

And uh so I go home and I'm I'm I'm not sleeping yet. You know, it's only day three and I'm so I'm smoking and sweating and walking and smoking and sweating and walking and and now I'm reading and uh and I got hooked in the doctor's opinion where Silkworth talks about the sense of ease and comfort that comes from having a few drinks. Now, that's not the language that I would use.

The language I'd use is remember when the third one had stay down and you can light your own cigarette and your lungs work all the way. How did he know? How did he know?

And I and I kept reading reading and and um you know, I was not interested in Bill's story and that world war and that stock market crash. I mean, these cyclical things, they just happen. And and uh I completely missed it.

On page 13, the entire program of Alcoholics Anonymous is there in four four paragraphs. Completely missed it cuz I didn't know what I was looking for. But I got into, you know, there is a solution and more about alcoholism.

and and then there's this we agnostics and if you're withdrawing from alcohol it's written really elegantly and it's about 4:30 in the morning and I'm you know on pack four of Marboral Hunters and uh and I'm and I'm reading this thing and and uh at the end there's a story and it's it's a guy by the name of Fitz Mayo's story preacher's son and uh and he has this awful dilemma. He's just a bad bad drunk and he's been exposed to these people and they've got a spiritual solution and he's from a religious family and he knows what kind of phonies they are and he's lost all the money in the stock market crash and the family hates him and he just is having a horrible time and and all of a sudden this voice comes through and the voice says, "Who are do to say that there is no God. And this guy gets down on his knees and he says a prayer and he has this tremendous experience.

Never drank again. Never drank again. And uh I understood that.

And so I did I I I did the same thing. I got down on my knees and I said my prayer. And my prayer was I don't know from Jesus or Buddha.

I don't know the Talmud, the Torah, the Upupanishads. Just please get me the top. I will do whatever these dried up old geeks say to do.

Just please help me not to drink. And I believe at that moment I completed the third step of the program of Alcoholics Anonymous. That prayer was perfect.

I'm with you tonight. I went down to the Alano Club the next day. I had a horrible experience that I'll talk about tomorrow.

It terrified me so much I got a sponsor. And uh and I started out on this thing and um and I will never ever I'm an active AA member. I get to I I I I get to My wife is is sober 21 years.

By the way, I send uh my my wife Adele sends her greetings to you. She's she's sober 21 years. she uh she wasn't able to come with but her her sponsy Rose is here which is a wonderful thing and uh Rose is here as a uh uh working in Bangkok and it's just fabulous to have her here and uh anyway I got this sponsor thing and I will never be able to repay he and his Alanon wife for the kindness that they showed me those few first few weeks.

They literally saved my life. They literally saved my life. I would show up on my sponsor's doorstep sometimes at 3:00 in the afternoon, baffled as to how I could not drink through the rest of the day.

and his wife would open the door, his Allenon wife, and she would put a cup of a pot of coffee on and let me sit there and vibrate until my sponsor got home. That's love. That's service.

That's this thing that I know is the family recovery from alcoholism. I was reading the big book unsupervised. You could do that in the 70s.

I had a few weeks sober and I ran to my sponsor. I read in in uh chapter 5 where if you don't do an inventory, you might drink. And I ran to my sponsor.

I said, "I'm going to drink." And he said, "What? No, you're not." And he said I said, "Well, it says here you got to do an inventory, and I haven't done an inventory yet. I'm going to drink." And he goes, "Oh, no problem." and he and a buddy who were there, they told a couple just really disgusting stories about themselves.

And then he gave me my four-step guide, piece of paper with three lines in it. And he said, "Okay, kid. Here's the four-step prayer.

Secret four-step prayer. God, I don't know what I'm doing. Help me, please." And he said, "Then I want you to go home.

I want you to sit down at the kitchen table. I want you to get really jacked up on coffee. This was before Starbucks, so it took a while to ramp up.

And he said, "I want you to look at the door of the kitchen." He said, "I want you to think of every place you lived and the people that you lived with and just think about them walking through the door. And if your stomach could tighten up, write that person's name down. And then you got three sentences as to why nobody's life is that interesting, kid.

And uh and then he said, "I I want you to write down uh you know, the sexual weirdness. We've all got it. It's no big deal." He said, "I want you to write down what you're afraid of.

her her mother, her sister, you know, Los Angeles County Sheriff's. Now, there's this there's this thing, you know, it's it's it's very very odd. There are people that actually say that the inventory, the fourth step is difficult, that the program of Alcoholics Anonymous is hard.

Poppyccock. Hard is stealing money from your grandmother. Hard is lying to your kids.

Hard is breaking your mother's heart. Hard is waking up one more time and not knowing how it is that I'm going to put the money together to get a drink. And where the hell am I anyway?

There is nothing difficult about going home and writing a list of who you hate. Every alcoholic worth their salt does that every night anyway. Huh.

I mean, it's not hard. It took me about 3 and 1/2 hours. Was it a fierce and thorough moral inventory using all four columns?

No, it was the greatest hits. But that first inventory, that's what needs to be on there. It's the stuff, and everybody in this room knows what I'm talking about in their life today.

It's the stuff that when your head hits the pillow that it goes around and around and around. That's what needs to be on there. We're alcoholics.

We're not that deep. I mean, the reason that I think that alcoholism is more a disease today than I did 31 years ago is that I've heard a lot of inventories. They're all the same.

I mean, we're alcoholic males. We're just not that creative. I mean, there's only so much stuff we can do.

I mean, some are a little more flamboyant than others, but I mean, basically, it's the same problems. And um, in fact, Sam Shoemaker, uh, who was Bill Wilson's spiritual mentor, said, "There's only one sin." Only one? Yeah.

There's only one sin. That's thinking that I'm different. We're human beings.

We happen to be human beings that suffer from the disease of alcoholism. Human beings that have been given the gift of addiction and we all get sick the same way and we all can recover in the same fashion. So it took me about three and a half hours.

He came over. We uh we read the uh I read it to him. We said a couple silly prayers and uh we burned it.

Whoa. How could you do that? This stuff was pretty, you know, I I knew who was there.

And I he sent me off to start making amends. I had 23 days sober. I'm a fully vested member of Alcoholics Anonymous.

This idea that we have to do intense work is interesting. But it ain't what the guys did that started this thing. They were out working with others now.

And I was fortunate enough to to come into an Alcoholics Anonymous that has the same gift that you have in this country, which is people that are suffering, that want to get well, and you can find them and they're accessible. And we were I started going out on 12step calls when I was 27 days sober. The first guy asked me to sponsor him.

I called my sponsor up. I said, "What do I say?" He said, "You say yes." I said, "Really?" He said, "Jay, if they're sick enough to ask you for help, you cannot hurt them. There is nothing that any person could do that is trying to help an alcoholic recover that is even remotely as injurious as what an alcoholic thinking themselves will do.

You can't hurt them if God sends them to you. You can't hurt them. This silly Facebook thing.

I hadn't seen that guy in 25 years. And I got a thing last year that said, "Is this my sponsor?" It's not me. It's not you.

It's the power. It's the power. We don't have to worry about it.

All we have to do is be willing. Everybody in this room, there is somebody who you are destined to save. Your story will lead them out of the gates of insanity and death.

if you're here, if you're informed, if you're just willing to help. And I was willing to help and I, you know, I've set off on this on this thing. And I and I and I started um doing all kinds of stuff within Alcoholics Anonymous, but the most important thing I did was I got into paying the money back.

The spiritual power comes from amends. It does not come from some meditative practice. Although it's really helpful.

Um, you know, I mean, believe it or not, there are parts of the world where people actually think that meditation is extra credit that it's not part of the program of Alcoholics Anonymous. Well, I'm not good at it. Well, were you good at not drinking?

I wasn't. But anyway, I digress. So, I'm uh I'm a few weeks sober or a few more sober and I go and visit my grandmother Alice.

Alice had taught me how to tend bar. I owed her just a little bit of money. I went and I visited her and I took some money and always take some money.

They've seen your intentions before. I said, "Grandmother, here's some money. God and AA are helping me to stay sober.

Um, there'll be more. She looked at me, grabbed the money, and then she got up, grabbed her purse, and headed for the door. And I said, "Where are you going?" And she said, "What'd you say to me?" I said, "Money, there'll be more.

God are helping me to stay sober." She said, "Right." She said, "Three or four years ago, I don't know when it was, you told me that you didn't believe in God anymore, and I went down to the church and I put your name on a list, and me and the girls have been praying for you, and I need to go down and report that my grandson has been restored." Spiritual terrorism. It's highly effective. Now, a lot of folks nowadays, they aren't members of churches, but here's a great thing that's worked wonders in my life.

Everybody in this room, you know somebody that suffers, and when you walk into an AA meeting and you see an empty chair, go up and tap it, say their name, get a couple people to do it, see what happens. In 1985, my then wife Jacqueline got sober, a wonderful thing in my in in my life. We started praying for three people.

Her best childhood friend, uh, our friend Jeanie, who was a cocktail waitress at the saloon we were working at, and my sister Regina, who is missing in action with her self-employed Colombian boyfriend. We prayed for them at every meeting that we went to. Within a year and a half, all three of them were sober.

All three of them picked up one-year cakes. And the two that got sober in Alcoholics Anonymous are still consecutively sober. And the other woman after a year decided that she didn't have this thing and she decided to take a drink.

And there's a huge difference between having a decision to make a drink to take a drink and suffering from compulsive drinking, which is what we suffered from. I don't know if you've ever been sitting around in a meeting and somebody goes, "Oh, did you hear about Arie? Arie drank with 37 years of sobriety.

Don't go to school. Don't get a job. Don't get married.

Stay in the meetings. It's dangerous out there. I know Arie.

Arie last went to a meeting when Ronald Reagan was president. We have a daily reprieve in Alcoholics Anonymous that comes from love and service. love and service.

And if you get away from the medicine, something happens. And it's never good. It's never good.

Coming to meetings is a wonderful thing. It's spiritual chemotherapy. The disease doesn't doesn't care what's going on, but if I go, it gets treated.

This way of life is a wondrous adventure. It's a wondrous adventure. The holiest place I believe on earth is being in a room when we welcome some new appearance when a baby's born.

And the second holiest place there is is being in a room where somebody appears to leave. But the third holiest place I believe is at a kitchen table, turn in pages of the book when somebody says, "Oh my gosh, I've got that and I'm willing to do what you've done. I'll try it.

That's the soul surgery. That's the what happened to me. I drank away my soul and yet I came into Alcoholics Anonymous.

I met people like you. You gave me a really simple course of action. People say, well, you know, this God thing, it's it's what we have to offer is a set of spiritual exercises which if you do them, which is very different than agreeing with them, an experience will happen and you have to give it away in order to get it.

This is not about getting well and getting more stuff. Although the lie will come to you and say, "Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no. You got to do this, you got to do that." But my experience is in that Alcoholics Anonymous that you can have all the experiences that one can have in your life.

I've had a couple, you know, I I I I um I've been married a couple of times. I've had a couple different businesses. I get to try stuff.

I get to do my best. Do I still Yeah. I was talking with a guy today.

It was very It was very sweet. He said, "You know, I'd think with as much sobriety and spirituality as you had that you wouldn't have a failing business when you were 15 years sober." I looked at him and I said, "Spirituality does not trump stupidity. I wish it did, but my case it doesn't.

I have had every wonderful experience a man can have and I have had many of the experiences that appear to not be wonderful. But I've learned being with you that the idea that what is good and what is bad is what my problem is. I have a daughter who's 22 years old and I never hit that kid.

That may not mean anything to you, but I come from generations of insane family violence. I didn't even want to have a child because I was absolutely positive that what it was that happened to me would happen in my home. And through these principles, never had to do it.

And uh she's not afraid of her daddy. It's an amazing gift, one that I never would have dreamed possible. When I go home, I'll be going home to the woman that I want to be with more than any woman on the planet.

I met her in Alcoholics Anonymous and I approached her straight up as a sober guy and we have an AA home and the phones are ringing all the time and she's skyping with people, you know, all over the planet cuz cuz that's the way that this program is spreading. You know, we have these amazing tools that somebody was talking about the Skype meeting. You know, my wife's got a Skype meeting in her bedroom in our bedroom every Sunday and there are people from five countries on that thing.

It's the age of miracles is upon us and all it takes is just to say yes. This is Alcoholics Anonymous. This is the land of yes.

And it's just a matter of saying yes to people when they come in, opening your hand and doing the silly things that we do. You know, ashtrays, brooms, and chairs. I don't know about what it was that you wanted when you were a small person before alcoholism warped your life.

I had dreams about maybe doing something important. And in Alcoholics Anonymous, what I've been given is the most precious gift in the world. My life was saved.

I was raised from the dead. And that's what we do here. You know, and please I I I tomorrow I'll talk a little bit about it, but but if anybody says to you that Alcoholics Anonymous is a lower form of spirituality, smile at them and agree and back towards the door.

Because what we do here is we do what every spiritual master ever suggested. We feed the hungry. We clothe the naked, but what we really do is we raise the dead.

And you have that gift. All you have to do is say yes. All you have to do is take the step.

And you don't have to worry about it because it is the power. It's not us. One of the great things about Alcoholics Anonymous is is that in a little while many of us will not appear to be here anymore.

They'll remember a couple folks. They'll remember Chuck Chamberlain or Norm Alpie. They'll remember Bill and Bob.

They'll remember Marty man. But the rest of us were anonymous. And in the silence, in the meditation, we are all anonymous and we are all equal.

And it is a marvelous, marvelous thing to be a part of this whole. Was a gentleman by the name of Aubrey Menon. He said, "There are three things that are true.

God, human folly, and laughter." The first two are unfathomable, so we must do what we can with the third. Best of luck to you. >> Thank you for listening to Sober Sunrise.

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