There’s a Journey Behind Every Surrender – AA Speaker – Jerry B.
AA speaker Jerry B. shares 26 years of sobriety, from life in Detroit alleys to spiritual awakening through the steps. A story of surrender, character change, and finding joy in recovery.
Jerry B. from Detroit, Michigan got sober on January 28th, 1974, after years of homelessness, abuse, and deep alcoholism. In this AA speaker tape, he walks through how the steps transformed his entire life—from a 350-pound, rage-filled man to someone overflowing with gratitude and joy—and reveals the “journey” behind every surrender to God.
Jerry B., with over 26 years of continuous sobriety, shares his complete recovery story from Detroit street life to spiritual transformation. This AA speaker tape emphasizes how working the steps daily, particularly Step 4 (inventory), Step 9 (making amends), and Step 10 (daily inventory), rewired his thinking and healed decades of childhood trauma, resentment, and anger. He stresses that surrender to God is not a one-time decision but an ongoing journey, and that emotional pain during step work is actually evidence of spiritual progress.
Episode Summary
Jerry B. opens with raw honesty about his childhood in 1940s Detroit—raised in an attic by an alcoholic father and a saintly mother, bullied for a ringworm-induced shaved head, traumatized by medical procedures, and hardened by street life. At seven years old, he suffered a stroke. By ten, he was exacting violent revenge on those who’d mocked him. His father died in his arms at sixteen, an event that would echo through decades of drinking.
For fifteen years, Jerry drank to numb everything—the abuse, the abandonment, the rage. He joined the Air Force, met the woman he loved, had four children, and then brought her into his disease. When his mother died on Christmas Day in 1962, it broke him completely. His wife and kids left. He drank himself out of the military, out of a basketball career, and into the alleys of Houston and California, where he became a panhandler checking garbage cans for food and scraps of wine in jars.
On January 28th, 1974—exactly twenty years after his father died—a man at a church handout directed him into a meeting. An old convict with tattoos and a hard edge asked if he’d done the steps. Jerry hadn’t even heard of AA. That afternoon, this sponsor took five hours to walk him through all twelve steps, explaining them simply and directly. No waiting to see if he was “ready.” No half measures. Just the steps, the Big Book, and the promise that if he worked them, he’d never have to drink again.
This AA speaker tape captures what happened next: over 26 years, Jerry worked through layer after layer of resentment, shame, and pain. His Fourth Step inventory about his father alone took nine years. He eventually returned to Detroit and placed a nine-year chip at his father’s grave—a surrender so profound it shifted something inside him. He made amends to his ex-wife and learned that another man had raised his four children, and that was okay. He discovered that his problem wasn’t people, places, or things—it was him. His thinking had to change.
Jerry doesn’t hide his struggles. He talks about falling in love multiple times in sobriety, each heartbreak a “journey behind the surrender.” He describes himself as a “compulsive overeater,” binging on Twinkies so severely he ended up in the hospital with a swollen stomach. His convict friends visited his hospital bed angry—not because he drank, but because “we can’t bury you over Twinkies, brother.” He laughs about his defects, his moodiness, his tendency to “ice” people who hurt his loved ones. But he also describes how the program has taught him to love people he once hated—Black folks, Korean folks, gay and lesbian folks, transgender folks—simply by staying willing to look at himself.
The core message is this: surrender isn’t weakness. It’s a process. Every time Jerry turns something over to God—money, a woman, a job, pride—there’s work involved. Step Seven in the 12×12 describes it as “unbelievably painful,” and Jerry nods to that truth hard. More is revealed the longer you stay sober. More pain, more healing, more joy. He emphasizes that people with little time in the program who say “just turn it over” don’t get it yet. Turning it over is the goal, but the journey—the daily work of inventory, amends, meditation—is what gets you there.
Jerry speaks to sponsorship with clarity: sponsors in his day just took you through the steps and got rid of you. They weren’t therapists or best friends. They were workers. He also challenges modern AA culture—people name-dropping sponsors, waiting a year before dating, sharing qualifying stories instead of talking about recovery. He came in at a time when you were told to go live life and experience recovery. If you got drunk, that was on you, not on the woman or the man or the program.
But his real gift is his joy. Despite owning nothing (he lives with a friend Jennifer, drives a paid-for Ford wagon, doesn’t have much money), Jerry radiates happiness. He dances at clubs, he loves Prince, he laughs easily. He’s learned from an old-timer named Chuck C. that “the greatest miracle you ever see in this program is the person you see in the mirror every day.” And after 26 years, that person is someone Jerry loves.
He closes with practical advice: find at least five good friends you can call at 3 a.m. Stay sober one day at a time. Help somebody. Do your meditation. Love the pain when it comes, because pain is the channel to spiritual progress. Don’t get angry at it—anger just separates you from God. And remember: if you’re not happy in this program, you’re not working it. You’re working yours. Poor me. That’s not recovery.
Notable Quotes
There’s only two kinds of alcoholics—the drunk ones and the sober ones.
Everything he did, we didn’t do it his way. We didn’t do it my way or everybody’s ideas. We did it the AA way.
There’s a journey behind every surrender. Every time I’m into something and I can’t let go of it, that’s my surrender. That’s positive. That’s not negative.
If you’re not happy and you’re in this program, you’re not working this program. You’re working yours.
The greatest miracle that you ever see in this program is the person you see in the mirror every day.
Don’t worry about what’s coming. Just take care of the now. Enjoy the time you got.
Topics Covered in This Transcript
- Step 4 – Resentments & Inventory
- Step 9 – Making Amends
- Step 10 – Daily Inventory
- Hitting Bottom
- Acceptance
- Forgiveness
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Whether you join us in the morning or at night, there's nothing better than a sober sunrise. We hope that you enjoy today's speaker. Well, hi.
I'm Jerem. I'm an alcoholic. >> Yeah.
I found out early that as far as where I was at, there's only two kinds of alcoholics. That's the drunk ones and sober ones. And uh it's indeed an honor to be asked to share here with you for uh whatever the time may be.
I've talked at a lot of different conferences over the years. Uh I got sober uh January 28th, 1974. And uh it's been quite a journey here for me and that's what and uh Marlene was right.
I uh I dedicated my life to AA. Uh I didn't believe it would work. It was just another deal, you know.
And uh I had uh drank for oh not even many years maybe 14 15 years but where it had taken me and the different things that came up in sobriety uh I used to think it was all about my drinking and I found out a lot of my things were all about my living. You know certainly I never overlooked the way I drank and what I did and the abuse I did to people and the abuse that people did to me growing up. You know my family uh I'm from Detroit, Michigan.
Hi, Cassie. Uh, I um uh people talk about their dysfunctional families. The best way to describe my area, my family, except for my mother, uh, is I'm from a dysfunctional city.
Uh, you were the weird one. If you went to church or if you had coffee or if you did this and all that. about you know I was raised uh in the ' 40s and my dad having this disease I had uh all I knew about it was that this poor guy was a drunk and we lived in an attic and uh housing was so bad in Detroit then during the war and what have you and so just to touch on that a little bit my dad put so much stress on me and so much everything on me that uh I had a stroke when I was 7 years old and I had shock treatments and back in those days the shock treatments were little like needles with energy in them.
I don't know how how much voltage, but they hit you with this. And at the same time, I got that cuz it has a lot to do with coming into AA and the different things we get to work on and how powerful the steps are. You know, I'm a step person and when I came in, you know, if you weren't a step person, you weren't going to be around that group very long.
You know, I love it when people quote, "Well, he's a big book clumper." Well, where I was, you didn't even make fun of that. you you better be into that big book and you better be thumping it without being nicknamed that. But so what happened with me at seven to help my self-esteem living in this attic and what have you, I had this stroke and then I got ringorm.
And back in the 40s, let me tell you how they treated ringorm. They shave your head. They take like iodine and paint put it for disinfectant all over your head.
And then my they take part of my mom's top of her stocking and make four knots in it and pull it over your head. And I would go to school and I'd sit with dysfunctional people. And this is kind of the way it was for me for a long time.
And every that's right. That's all right to laugh cuz everybody laughed at me. Everybody made fun of me.
But I had one good eye. And what happened is I would I love basketball and I I became a good basketball player. And one day about two and a half years later, my mom took me there and my brother helped pay for everything.
My brother Johnny who's no longer with us, but he um this guy loads up this machine one day and hits me and I like to went through the chair. The nerves had came back. So that was like uh my mom would say another my mom would always program me with spiritual life uh the good life she says and you will come back you will be like other kids.
Well, what happened? Not knowing I'm an alcoholic at 8, everybody that was mean to me, brother, I was going to get back, you know, by the time I was 10, I got even with everybody, brother. Everybody, you know, and so, uh, I I know a guy that came into the program.
He said, "I I don't have many resentments. I got even quick, you know. I was kind of amongst those people." And my dad not being around as much as he could because of his drinking, I was actually raised in the streets of Detroit.
And uh and I'll tell you what, I wasn't a tough guy, but you had to get to where you protected yourself. So I picked up different things, you know. I could do things to harm people.
And then I turned 10, you know. So I I knew men I didn't have much use for boys or whatever cuz I seen how my dad abused my mother, you know, and I didn't like that. My mom was about 4t high.
She was hump back and I'm the youngest in the family. And my mother had me when she was 45 years old. And I found out through my brothers and sisters over the year prying it out of them.
My dad never wanted any more kids. My the youngest to me is uh my sister Eileene and my brother and their Eileen just turned 80 and my brother's 81 and I'm 63. So I come in with this nice little woman that I was the love of her life and she was definitely the love of my life, you know.
And I this is another defect that I was going to have to work on still do is being nice to women in the program cuz I for one thing being here as long as I have uh for me now I'm only speaking for me. So if you if you have a thing with me if I har if I say something that maybe offends you I'm just remember this is my story you know and if it does harm you might want to read step 10 and 12 by 12 and that'll take care of that. Yeah cuz I'm not your problem.
That's all that's been all my problem all my life. Thinking other people and places and things were my problem, you know. So, as I grew, I used to wonder how I could just get rid of dad, you know.
That's where I was. Then I turned 11, you know. Well, poor guy drank so much that um not knowing he had alcoholism.
I was 16 and I was on a basketball scholarship. I know I was picked cuz all this time I played ball. Nobody wanted nothing to do with me.
So, I play basketball. I practice. You know, you catch me down at the church and they'd lock up the basketballs and if I set up so many chairs, I tell you what I would do.
They had these old footballs. I could take a football, go in the corner by the moonlight in this gym and shoot basketball and boom, boom. So, uh, I I went on become a pretty good basketball player.
My dad never, you know, being so sick, never saw me play one game. My mom never missed a game, you know, and my mom would get in my dad's face and my dad would put her aside and sometimes I didn't feel like eating supper. This just briefly what I had to go through.
And the man was sick and I understand that today thanks to this program. Uh if I couldn't eat supper some nights was like uh the next night I'd show up uh he'd say, "What are you doing at the table?" I said my mom said, "What do you mean?" "Well, he's here. He's going to have supper." "Well, no, he couldn't eat, you know, he didn't eat supper last night.
He don't need to eat tonight." And in this attic I lived in I slept on a rollway bed by the table. So what my mom would do once my dad passed out, she would bring me food out which she'd hide and I would eat like at 2:00 in the morning. And now this is just briefly of what went on for periodically a long time.
And then the drinking finally got to him. He had a heart attack. Then he started drinking 10 high with nitroglycerin pills.
And one day I saw him and I said I was 16. I'll never forget it. Uh, I said, "Um, how you doing, Dad?" He says, "You know, I'm doing just fine." He turned to me, "I'm doing just fine." I said, "Oh, that's great." And, uh, cuz I never knew he was coming at me.
He never knew who I never knew I had. Never. You know, and he fell against me and I caught him.
And by the time I laid him in the floor, he was dead. And now, the ironic thing of that is, for I'm so blessed with AA is that was January 28th, 1954. And I got here January 28th, 1974.
So I my uh we were so poor I went to live with my sister in Columbus, Georgia. Now there's a culture shock. Oh brother, let me tell you what them people are living in way in the past, you know, and I go like, "Wow." I mean, my high school in Detroit, I was an inner city kid.
My high school had like 3,000 kids in it. You know, most of the high schools inner city. I uh The Temptations went to Northwestern High School.
I was raised in a in a predominantly black area, but it was all right with me cuz I learned how to dance and play basketball at a very young age, you know, and all these great people I seen, they were like my heroes. Uh I was four years older than uh those those people. And uh and they and they all made good.
They all were like we were like weren't in there. We never called it the ghetto or poor or you know, I never had any problems till you know when I was poor is when I got stuff. Well, I got a new Cadillac.
Yeah, but look at that new Mercedes, you know. I mean, that's where we go, right? So, uh you know, anyhow, the joy was that I had to keep uh I I met my the love of my life and I didn't drink and she liked that.
And we graduated from high school and I was death on drinking because of my dad, you know, but I had this loving mother. Uh one of the things I love about my mother, she could find good in everything, everything. You know, we're living in this attic one day and I said, you know, mom, uh I don't know about this attic, you deal.
And she says, "Jerry," she just pulled me aside and sent me down. She said, "Jerry, do you know how lucky you are?" I go, "No, mom." And this is some of the things she was this this kind of gives you an idea of my mom. She said, "You know, when it snows before it hits the ground, we're the first people that see it." And the people in the lower levels and walking around, they have to wait till it actually comes all the way down on the ground and we get to see it up here.
I go, "Wow, I never thought about that." you know, and she would bring these things to me, you know, and so I uh you know, I knew anger wasn't good, but being raised, it was like uh around people and being battered uh here and there. And uh I remember one time I just couldn't take anymore. My dad was he was wide open.
He said, "Hit me." Boy, I held off and I hit him right in Adam's apple almost knocked him out and he was going to make me pay. He made me pay off and on, but he was sick. You know, if you're holding on any resentments with people like that or are sick, just a suggestion.
Hopefully, you'll get into forgiveness for them. You forgive them because that's your channel to God. Don't let them mess with your sobriety, you know.
And so, uh, I went on down to Columbus, Georgia. This was met the love of my life because of my stroke and way I played basketball. I never had many dates, not at all, you know.
And, uh, and that was all right with me, you know. My mom was my date. My mom was it for me.
And so I I I meet this girl and we graduate from high school together and um things happen. She gets pregnant and I go in the Air Force and uh now I'm in the service and so she comes to live with me in the Fort Worth and um I I went to Goosebay Labrador. Uh I came back home on a leave.
I got there the Labrador on I never been out of the States ever in my life. got there and all this snow and everything and that was like on my birthday April in April and they said well everything we do here we we we know you play basketball and I played basketball in the service you know I'm not bragging it's just that that was my love was basketball and my mom that's where I went now I have this woman uh was actually that time I had two kids and they were very small and so and I never drank well I started drinking up there shot of CC was like uh I mean probably be like that was like 20 cents. Cigarettes were a dollar or 80 cents a carton.
And they informed me that every, you know, uh, everybody up here smokes and drinks. There's nothing to do in Goose Bay. They were right about that.
There's nothing up there. I was in a support group for the strategic air command. DUH.
Sack train killers. Boy, that was something, you know. But we wore that one out, you know, with our egos, man.
We got into that with the little eagle and the hands and all the badge and all. Oh, brother. You know, so I I I see how I bit into everything that Eagle Drove me, you know, including basketball.
And so I come home, I played on the the uh Eighth Air Force best basketball and softball team, and I got to go by and visit my wife. I was on leave, and we already had two small kids. And uh and I got her pregnant.
And so I go back. By the time I come home from Goose Bay, I have uh two small kids and one on the way, you know. And uh when I got home from Goose Bay, she didn't know I drank.
And I told her, "Boy, how great what I found." Just like Jack Lemon in the movie Wine and Roses. I brought her into the disease. And it was strictly disease.
It looked like fun, but it was all it was just it was a makeup. It was like one thing I learned about drinking. Maybe it made us high and drugs or whatever, but it stopped feeling.
It stopped all my feelings is what it basically did. And I learned that when I got here. So, you know what?
We She gets pregnant and I um we have one more child. She says, "You know, Jerry, this drinking isn't getting it. I can compete with a woman, but I can't compete with this drinking." And I go like, "Well, you know what?" And she ain't going to do nothing.
I said, "You know, I'm in service and good money is fairly decent and free. hospital and all that. Well, my mom died and that devastated me and my mom died and we buried her uh December 25th, Christmas Day, 1962.
So, I flew out to Detroit to bury my mom, the love of my life, and I came back home on the 26th of December. My family was gone because of my drinking. And I had just started drinking.
And uh that was openers No, it's not funny, but it was openers for me. I go like, "Well, they'll be back." You know, well, I've never seen them to this day ever. Period.
That's the price. If you think maybe your price isn't out there, I I never would have I told you when I went to my mom's funeral, I would have told you my wife, even though she left, I know she'll be back. No way.
No way. And so I went on drinking for uh you know until I drank my way out of the Air Force, you know, out of a basketball career. And my last five years basically were in an alley, you know, and that was okay with me cuz, you know, I was punishing myself.
I love drinking and it was free. The price I was paying was checking out a garbage can here and there, you know, and I and I was okay. You could have you couldn't have you could have sent this whole room and said, "Man, soiety is great." And I wasn't ready.
I just wasn't ready. And so I uh I got run out of Houston uh for being a drunk nuisance. I used to wonder why my brother had to handcuff me and what my rap sheet was like.
Well, that's very humiliating. It wasn't like dealing heroin or coke or, you know, bootlegging. It says right there, drunk nuisance.
Found drunk walking down Westimer. Found drunk in park. other parts, you know, it would go on and on with just this nothing glamorous.
I was just a nuisance, you know, and and so they got my brother got me a ticket to send me to Detroit cuz he couldn't take it any longer. My sister in Detroit couldn't handle it, you know, and um it was cold there and what have you. And so she sent me to California.
I have a sister out there and she warned her, "Hey, Jerry's coming. Be careful." But I I wore out being the baby of the family. I wore that one, too.
it wouldn't it wouldn't last anymore. Well, my sister in California uh she's very gull, very loving. This to this day, this is the most loving next to my mom.
This is this woman is just full of love. That's what the best way to describe her. And I uh and how you remember things.
When my dad died, my sister's oldest son now uh he was just born. He had a heart problem and she couldn't come to the funeral. So, here was my opener to Eileen.
Irene told me. She says, "Well, everybody in the family, I guess you know, called me and uh we got to watch out for you and this and that." I said, "Oh, well, they didn't tell you the whole story, did they?" And I was right in her eyes. She says, "Boy," I said, "Well, as long as we're going to be honest about everything, did they tell you about how they talked about you when you didn't come?" This is years ago now this going to be like 20 years when you didn't come to dad's funeral cuz you're too good cuz you live in California in the hills and all that.
And and I looked at her eyes. You know how good of her at that. Do we get a tear yet?
You know, because it's a family illness and they'll buy. I mean, some of my family would buy till they couldn't buy it any longer. They'll buy your stuff.
You'll sell it till you till they drop till you wear them in the crowd, right? And I even got a little tear. She said, "Well, I didn't know that." I said, "Oh, I got her.
I got her, you know, money, you know, and drinks." So, uh, God bless her, you know, she let me stay with her and and then, uh, when I knew my time was getting short and going back to the alleys, I go like, well, you know, so I did the nicest thing that anybody could do to somebody in your family that helps you, right? I burglarized her. So, I would burglarize her off and on and get stuff.
You know, this woman, this is how I treated my family. So, anyhow, she's a hairdresser. One of her friends is uh chief of police.
She asked his wife what she should do with me. She wanted to commit me to an institution. And the h the woman said, "Uh, if you put him in an institution, you're going to lose them anyhow because they fill them full of thorazine.
That's how they control people." And that's how far I had gone. And this woman loved me. I'll tell you, loved me.
And so she told me I he says, "Let's do this. In California, they call it 86, you know, and if you can't if you're not allowed back in the bar, they say you're you're not allowed back in. you're 86th and they'll call around town.
Yeah, be 86. Damn. Okay.
Okay. So, anyhow, I got 86. If you if you ever been to California, go across the Golden Gate Bridge, you're in Marin County.
Uh they had me 86 from Marine County. And I believe this guy. He was pretty tough.
So, they dropped me off over in the city. Well, it's cold and it the holidays have passed and uh it's mid January and I pan handle. I was a good panhandler.
couldn't use my veins too much because I had donated so much. In California, you don't sell your blood. You sell your plasma and you can give it three times a week.
What they do is take your blood out of you. Takes about an hour and a half process for five bucks. It goes down the chute.
They take the plasma out of the blood and put bring the blood back and put it in you and you get $5. Well, man, that's like Well, I finally used my veins up where I couldn't do that, you know. And I I became a good panhander.
One day, it was the power I know moving me. I woke up in this alley and uh I used to go around the alley with a peach can and just pour whatever I saw into this peach can and then drink it. You know, glass with wine in it or what and just drink it.
You know, didn't matter. I just wanted to drink, you know. Basically, that's all I ever wanted to do is just drink.
I mean, if you have a nice club and you're drunk, fine. If you're in the alley drunk, fine. But what we want to do is drink, you know.
And so, um, I got up, I panhandled, and for some reason, I went to the bus depot. I said, "I want to take it out of out of here." They said, "Well, that's not going to take you very far." And they looked at me. I was obese.
I found out and I weighed over 300 somebs. I said, "Well, you know what? Here's a little ticket.
We can tell you to get off this bus. You get off." So, I get off the bus. Now, I didn't argue with nobody.
I was beat, but I was sober. Now, I'm walking down this street in this town and I see a guy handing out, you know, getting ready. I thought it was a handout joint and he's putting out cookies.
So, I went in behind him and I grabbed a handful of cookies. I was heading for the door. He says, "Hey, wait a minute.
Uh, something's going to happen here. I think you might like it." I looked at him, this little short guy. I said, "Nothing going to happen here.
And I don't I don't know about anything that I would ever like. I was just full of anger." And he says, "Well, I'll tell you what." I said, "What?" I have nothing, right? What?
I thought I had a new car outside. What? If you stay here, I'll give you this whole box of cookies.
Oh, boy. Do we have this fool? You know, I said, "All right, man." And I knew they were fresh cuz I saw that, you know, how the box was open.
You'll learn a lot about food eating out of garbage cans. You learn about what's fresh, what Yeah. You know, most of the fresh stuff is all the way to the bottom because the stuff on top of it, if you ever get out of a garbage can, think you need to go back out and try it one more time, you will survive out there.
It's kind of miserable, but anyhow, it's way down in the bottom of the garbage can and and it's pretty fresh. We're very wasteful people, you know. But anyhow, and get near a Wendy, a Wendy's or a McDonald's cuz they throw a lot of away there.
So, uh uh I sat over there in that chair and he said something's going to happen here. And he was right. My whole life changed that day.
That was January 28th, 1974. And I've never been back out since. Thanks to a man that on my 11th day came to this old wino house that I was vacuuming and he says, "Where's this guy Jerry?" He wandered into our meeting.
He said, "Uh, and they had this like a handout place where you could stay three hours in a cot." Oh, he's right there. And he and this what I didn't know, I wandered into a meeting. It was all people from the penitentiary, you know, God was below me, but you know, I wanted in there, you know.
And and so I uh so this guy says, "Oh, yeah, he's just about done." So this guy buffed out. He got tattoos, just a old dirty shirt, you know. Jerry.
Yeah. Come here. Uh have you done the steps?
We looked at him now. You know, I never been to AA. I said, "No, I DO THE CARPET.
AND HE EVEN smiled and I didn't you know this guy was really a hard nose convict and I said he says no in recovery there is 12 steps you know in that room that you walked into you see there's stuff on the wall and the only thing I really saw on the wall was there's a big sign that said if you want to stay sober when do you expect to art. I thought that was kind of neat, you know. And uh so uh he says, "Come on with me." And that afternoon, well, it started around 10:00.
By 3:00, this man took his time out of his life. And I remember that to this day to take me through the steps to at least show me how it's done. Not, and I'm speaking for me, not wait to see if I'm ready to do a fourth or wait to see if I'm ready or it's not good enough or or that sponsorship in those days were all they were were people that took you through the steps.
They weren't guardian angels. They weren't that. As a matter of fact, the quicker they got rid of you, the better off they liked it, you know.
And so he says, "Here's what you do. The fourth step, people have asked me about that. The fourth step is, you know, an inventory." Inventory is what you have right now, right?
That's the way I looked at it. The way the guy explained it to me, so I did an inventory the best I could. I read it to him best I could.
Six and seven, he read to me. When you go home, since this is your home, I'll read it to you cuz I couldn't read. Well, you know, you overlook what you've done.
You did the best you could, right? 8 n or wherever there's amends to be made wherever possible. Nine is whenever made made direct amends whenever possible.
10 is continue to take a daily inventory and to help us stay free for this God that works through us. Meditation is helps us contact with this God that brought this loving God brought us people to this program. That cookie didn't bring you here.
God brought you here. And 12 is helping others and having a good time. It's the joy of this program.
He flipped over the 12×2. He says, "See here, the joy of living is the theme of AA's 12 step. And action is the key words.
It's right there in the book. everything he did, we didn't do it his way. We didn't do it my way or everybody's ideas.
We did it the AA way. And that's the way I came into this program. You know, that's why I got full of joy.
And I told this roommate I had, I said, "Hey, is his name is Sam? Sam got you yet?" You know, we don't have to take a drink again, one day at a time, the rest of our life. What are you?
He's coming down with that stuff with you, too. And so, here it comes. And sure enough, now there's four of us that Sam got a hold of.
One died about a year or two ago. The other three of us are celebrating over 26 years. In January, we'll celebrate.
You know, so you hear all, you know what, and if you're new out there, you're going to hear all kinds of thing from people. Just go to the book. A man that that went through the stuff with me again cuz I love this program.
I swear there's nothing could stop me from drinking. You left me at my mom's when I was at my mom's funeral. You know, I had that experience.
burying my mom. You leave me with my four kids. I never see them again.
I'm not proud of this. So, how was all these steps? I'm sober cuz I've been sober.
I didn't drink till I was 24 years old. I know I know what it was like not to drink and drinking did it all for me. God, I loved it, you know, till the end.
And now I I loved AA cuz I found a way. And I mean, when I had 30 days, I owned AA. I owned this baby.
Yeah. I was there. Anybody that's ever known me that was here or whatever, you know, from my past, they'll tell you I just lit up like a a star or something cuz I there was no way.
This man also told me, "If you can take a drink and do these steps, I'll buy you all you can drink. And I don't have much money, but I'll buy you your first one anytime you want it." And I figured, well, I got this dude, man. I got him.
You know, he don't even know what he's talking about cuz nothing could stop me. Well, it has stopped me now for over 26 years because I was willing to look at me and it takes time. You know, I'll tell you what I was.
I was a 350 lb raging Archie bunker. That's where I was. And to be standing here in front of this beautiful group of people is is the miracle.
My people are going like, I can't even believe this myself, you know. And you know, and that's why I've always felt welcome wherever I go. I I I spoke at Cocaine Anonymous.
I never used any coke, but you know, they wanted to hear about recovery. You know, they weren't worried about a coke story. You know, most of the people I've talked to like to hear about how do you stay sober from your first meeting?
What did you do? I tell you, it was all about God and helping others. Very simple.
Help others. Do meditation. Help others do meditation.
I remember I used to ask Chuck C uh when he was in I was down in Laguna. I said, "Well, Chuck, you know, I got this problem." I tell you what he would say. "You go out and take care of God's business and he'll take care of your business." And before he died, he wrote a book uh a new pair of glasses cuz he believed that AA was like putting on a new pair of glasses.
The most beautiful man I've ever met that walked the program was Chuck C. You know, the greatest miracle that you ever see in this program is the person you see in the mirror every day. That's what I learned from Chuck.
You know that's the one. You know that story. We're just we're telling my story.
I might Hey, if stories impressed you, you think yours isn't bad enough, don't go out there and use or drink, make up one. We don't care. I got shot here and I got five heart transplants.
Wow. You know, you know, just don't drink. Okay.
That if some them stories impress you, hey, you know, shoot, you know, and and then, you know, then life life hit with me. you know, I uh I knew things were going to come up and the people that were with me, I knew and to this day my excitement in the program is sobbriety and then the day starts, baby. Uh last night I was watching Prince and Purple Rain and I love that movie, boy.
I tell you, I used to get out there and, you know, and get with it, you know, and I just couldn't, you know, I I couldn't uh you know, not get out of my chair last night and not dance to that movie. I mean, it was just matter of fact, I was going to call my friend here. I said, "No, it's 11:00.
She wouldn't appreciate that." But I just I get excited about life, you know, and so things would come up. Uh the inventory about my dad took, you know, layers and layers, took nine years. I finally went back to Detroit.
I went out to his grave and gave him my 9-year chip. I know it's all ceremony kind of thing, but for me to give away a 9-year chip for me to give away any of my chips is like, you know, like it's a blessing, you know, and they do that out there. You know, if somebody out there gives you a if you got 12 years and they give you your 13 or their 12 years, that's an honor.
That means that they're kind of like a blessing, you know, and and it's not the chip that keeps you sober. It's the the guy upstairs, you know. However, however we understanding, this guy told me, "Here's the way it is, brother.
Uh uh when we talk about God that means you finish the third step. You don't talk you don't call it the light bulb or you don't call it anything of the religious thing in here. In here we're all alcoholics.
And in here step three says I turn my life and will over to the care of God. And this is the group I came in with now. So um you don't call it her or it or the light bulb.
Aa says you call it God. Okay? And that's the way I am.
Anytime you see me get a little fussy at a meeting, if somebody's getting our program out of contacts and they'll then they'll say, "Well, it don't matter." Well, it does matter because I was also taught you never knew who's the newcomer, you know. So, you start throwing around religious sayings, you may just they may say, "Well, another deal." And head out the door. But I've also learned that, you know what?
If they're not ready, they're not ready. And if they are, there's nothing you can say that won't keep them from staying here. You know, nothing kept me from staying here.
I didn't want this thing, you know, and and then life came up. My four kids, you know, that there was an inventory when I made my amends. Another man had raised them and they said, "Hey, here's what we want." This man took care of your kids.
This is my wife telling me this, my ex-wife. She says, "And you've been gone so long that that's their father. You were the physical father.
He was the real father." And I had to own that one. And that was true. There's more than being a father than just having a baby with a woman, you know.
And I had that was a hard one to choke down cuz I'd go to meetings and people are coming in. Oh, I got my my kids back. Oh, I got my job at Honeywell.
Oh, I got me a new car and nobody hired me. You know, yeah, well, here's my resume. Well, what happened?
I got tired of writing down bankrupt, bankrupt. You know, company I work for went bankrupt. You know, like I had 5 years in the alley.
There was no employment going on. And so, you know, I almost had a job at Wendy's. I was in his old wino home and I a guy had slipped and picked up the phone and they said, "Wendy's?
Who?" Um, and he was drunk and they could tell it. And by the time I got to the phone, they said, "Oh, we called." Now, they never do this. We called to let you know that you uh we we weren't going to hire today, you know.
I go, "Okay." And make that man never going to There comes a resentment. You know, like I said, I hated everybody, but I I love sobriety. I I just didn't know.
I didn't want the people. I didn't trust you cuz I didn't trust me. You know, watch them, watch that, watch her.
Yeah. Watch that. I didn't trust me.
It was nothing about you, you know. And every time you I talk about you, I'm talking about me. Has nothing.
This program has nothing to do with other people. Absolutely nothing. Nothing.
Says so in step 10 in the 12 x 12 whenever I'm disturbed. There's something wrong with us. Oh, okay.
Cuz I wanted and it took me time to believe that because uh I knew a woman that was in this room from the penitentiary and I fell in love with her. I just wanted to be with her and the power sent me a job, you know, uh selling things and I was able to build that into a pretty nice company. And then I married her.
She learned one thing in the penitentiary. She had four years and went back out. I went to the joint.
I met her. She had uh six kids, six or seven kids. And uh we ended up getting married.
We had I had less I had about 2 years. She had a year and a half and we had all this and we made it for 8 years and we Nobody drank. That's the main thing here is don't drink.
If you want to joy, you get into this power. You get into things that come up and you write about them. You know, do a little 10step every day.
You're not playing with that. This woman would put me up against the wall if I laugh about meditation. She'd just grab me and and you listen and you better hear what I got to say.
You know, I mean, I'll give you a for instance. I'll walk in one time, kids are there. I come in from a trip cuz my work has gotten better.
And I said, all I said about her was this. This is what I learned about darting. I said, I was sober.
I said, "Hey, would you all like to go to the ice rink today to see the ice show?" They all were watching TV and they turned out, "We'd love to go." And then I said, "Cuz you're dealing with, you know, you know, you're dealing with two personalities, the drunk one and the sober one that the drunk never paid my tab. The sober one always paid my tab." So then I'm finding out about other people. So I say to her, "Or would you rather watch TV?" Now I've done this somehow on occasion before and we're both sober.
She gets up out of her chair and I seen this look in her eye. Oh, I mean, she grabs me again, takes me into the quarter. He says, "If you ever mess with our minds again on a decision that we want to go and then you play the dart game with another word in there, you know what?
I'm going to let you have it. Quit doing that. It messes with our minds.
Yes, we want to go to the ice show. I learned from so much from that woman. I tell you what, she was the greatest spiritual happening in my life.
I never had a bad relationship cuz I learned from every way I put in I could put in my wife, my life, you know. You know, I tell you, it's just if you stay open to that, you know, you'll have such a beautiful life. And I get angry and I my people change, you know, they get, you know, all my the the drunk one and the sober one, they have other people.
They have like cousins like, "Oh, like uh you know, they sit here. We're counting heads. See, I told you.
Look at here." You know, I told you there'd be more than 20 people. Now, how you like New Apples? Well, we thought there'd be more than 20.
No, you didn't. So I'm looking at all these people. I'm going like, "Wow." You know, and they go like, and then they'll like in the meetings, you know, the first time I saw this lady like, "Oh, look at over there." And I'm listening to I'm listening to the speaker right over there, Jerry.
Over there. Look at over there. What are you talking about?
You know, the topic's fear. Yeah. But look over Look at her over there.
God. I met a man not too long ago that he has a lot of people in his head really, you know, I mean, you know, he has a real disorder. He said, "I'll help save his life." He says, "You know, they really alive in my head, brother." I said, "Well, just take them all to the steps cuz they get too confusing." You know, you know, I mean, I'm a composer over eer.
I always, you know, that one was always lurking. Well, it's just going to have if it gets tough, we're going to have three pies, you know. So, you know, but you know, yeah, he I'll tell you it there's quite a life here.
I look for uh you know, uh the the the black people, the Korean people, the bold people in California, the Chinese people, everybody in San Francisco, there's every nationality there. The gay lesbian people, the transgender people, uh whatever you know what that I come across. I hated say that right now.
I did all the jokes you ever heard. You know what? and I would take all the jokes and all whatever, but I just didn't like people because of my life from the past.
So, people were thinking, well, let's see how powerful these steps are. I can tell you today that my heart's so full of love for people that if it wasn't, I wouldn't be here. It's just that simple.
You know, thanks to this loving God, you you'll find out in step seven in the 12x 12. The reason why I keep mentioning a 12 x 12. I'm not knocking the big book ever.
But there's more information, you know, I had to know about the pain, you know, that was going to be ahead of me with my kids writing inventories and why mine didn't come back, why theirs did, why I didn't, why their cuz my people, everything that there's a journey behind every surrender. Every time I'm into something and I can't let go of it, that's my surrender. That's positive.
That's not negative. Don't drink. That's your journey.
the first woman that ever left me since sobriety. I mean, when I was drunk, I could care less. Well, I cared, you know.
I I mean, I you know, I just I had I forget how many years. It wasn't Val cuz I left Val, you know, that was her name. And it was this other woman.
I go, you know, I thought I was going to die, you know. And I went to a meeting that night. It was a speaker meeting.
This woman stands up and she says, "You know, few years ago, you all know my husband was a that left me. It was a circuit speaker and it killed me and I thought I was going to die of a broken heart. My people went, well, I am.
It's all about me now, you know." And she says, "Instead, there's a way God used to remove him to open my heart to other people." And I'll tell you right now, uh, when I was with certain people, my AA groups became very, sorry, I got to be gone. I got to be home at 5:30. I actually did that, you know.
I can't Can you share the 8:30 meeting? I don't know. Let me check.
You know, this is not too long ago, you know, and so things got real rolling for me. You know, my priorities because of this person not right now. I I just came out of of of a relationship.
It took me and I don't hide. I like to just talk right from the gut, brother. That's where I'm at.
You know, I'm not no hot shot speaker. I had this emotional love for this woman and still do except the power and these steps are so powerful. Like I know it's a journey and always remember that it's a journey on all these surreners to God.
You hear the people that don't know haven't had many surreners. I'll tell you how they sound. Turn it over.
That's how they sound. You know, to me, I'm only talking about me. Well, Jerry, just turn her over.
When I came in, it was Yes, the idea is to turn over. But every time I turn anything over, it's money, women, cars, job, whatever. There's a journey.
There's a process. And it's in step seven on the bottom of the second page over, I think it is, talks about this process. And it says it's unbelievably painful.
So, I can't even describe it. And those of you that experienced it have laughed and nodded your heads. The other ones are going like, he's got 26 years.
And what? And he's still in pain. H, he's really sick.
How' they get him to speak here? Yeah. You know, I'll tell you, you need this program more the longer you're here than when you than as you get here, cuz you're going to process more.
More is going to be revealed. you know, you know, more about my stroke, more about the little girls. They have me to birthday parties and to make fun of me.
My mom thought they were nice being having me over there just to have me there cuz I look so ugly. They brought me over there to make fun of me. You know, all this came up, you know, lots of stuff.
Anger behind my dad beating on me, anger here, anger there, my dad dying, that son of a gun. Cuz the next year I was going to University of Michigan. my my dream and I couldn't I had to go to I had to go to live with my sister in Georgia know so the the program is powerful you know and it's joyful you know you know these are just things I've had to go through you know every time I've gone through something where it's just I've been stripped of money you know I'm blessed you know my friend Jennifer is here you know Jennifer's given me a key to her place ever since she met me I sponsored her all that means I took her through the steps That's it, folks.
Yeah. Don't ever get me. I'm not into this.
Go call your sponsor. You know, go call anybody. By the time you get this so-called sponsor, you might be drunk.
You know, well, I can't share at this meeting because, you know, I might uh say something and my sponsor may not like it. Or, oh, I love this one. The the name dropping.
Oh, my sponsor. And then you have an outstanding person in your group. Well, my sponsor is Mary Sue or whatever.
So, what the hell is that You know what? Mary Sue's got it together. You know, that's where I go with all this stuff.
See, but I also remember I came in in 74 where they wanted you to go out with these steps and experience life. None of this relationship stuff. Go have one.
But don't come back and tell us if you get drunk over one that the program didn't work. You got drunk cuz you wanted to get drunk. She didn't make you drink or he didn't make you drink.
You made you alcohol got you drunk, bro. They didn't mess around with poor baby. Well, you know what?
We told you you shouldn't have had it until you had over a year. My god, man. Some people Why wait a year to get drunk?
You know, and all and all the physical and mental abuse we've had all our life way before we get here. You know, I have seen I I live with a woman that was my roommate that went through child abuse like you wouldn't believe. And I mean, they had her tearing up phone books, then burning them because it was being this person.
And I seen this woman recover with these steps. The people that are in pain are in the steps. And the pain that you're in is taking you to that surrender journey.
There's always a journey. Like I said, I have yet. Don't you come around me if I'm in pain like I was with this past lady.
I was in deep pain. Deep. But I know I was in journey.
Yeah. My friend here says, "Yeah, I bet he's still got her picture in his wallet." Yeah, I do. Yeah.
But like, you know, this person that I told you that offered me her house for over 12 years now is Jennifer. You know, I've always been taken care of. Maybe it's not mine.
Maybe the food is there. Maybe this isn't. But I'm taken care of.
You know, she knows there's nothing I wouldn't do for her. There's nothing I wouldn't do for anybody in AA. You know, my friend right here in the front row, she says, I just met her the past eight months, got over 13 years in this program.
I love her. And Marlene that asked me to share here today. You know, I don't have to know people to love them.
I had she found something great. I love this one that she liked about me and my program. That's what the program is about.
When they say you're sometimes the only big book people could see, well, think about how you carry your mouth into out there in Waw Wa land, you know, and how you go 90 mph behind around somebody with it. Easy does it on your car. I love that.
You know, and I used to get into all this uh bad language out there sometimes and my praying hands would fall out of my shirt like, "Oh, yeah. You're really a program of attraction. You better take that take that baby off, you know." So, you know, the the journey here, the steps here for every problem, good or bad, cuz the good will take you out, folks, as good as the bad.
I'll guarantee you, man, I've sat in Las Vegas in a new Cadillac with Miss World, you know. And that time, I said, you know what? Now it's time to have one, you know.
But the worst I've ever did out there is I'm a compulsive overeater also. I binge. Oh, can't take it, man.
Everything's too good. Give me three chickens, man, and two pies, you know, which is which can take me out, too. Matter of fact, years ago, I had nine years absinence straight in, uh, OA, and I I thought I had it together, so I had to have another lesson.
And I went into a store, I made a big sale, and I decided my favorite uh, sweets were Twinkies. I decided it was time to have one. Well, the story goes my roommate that I was talking to you about uh walked into our place, found me on the floor with cellophane wrappers all over all over my Cadillac.
Uh I had she traced me back. I had bought out the shelf, dropped a 50. The guy gave her my chain said, "Man, what happened to that guy?" Well, I mean, he went like a nut over there.
And it just like it just took me into a white out. And I had chocolate and cream and I almost died. She got me to the hospital.
And what happened is I ate so much sugar so quick that it swell up my stomach muscles and I couldn't have no I had no functions. And she got me there and got my stomach pumped in time or I would have died. And I love this one.
I wake up in this hospital bed. and who and people that didn't take OA serious that knew me that were in a na I'm in bed and they're all at the foot of the bed and they're all angry and and uh they said Jerry a lot of my friends I made friends with these convicts Jerry we know you're going to be okay but we want to tell you one thing brother we're serious about this OA thing with you we could handle if you died on an OD if you decided to try heroin or cocaine or alcohol But to go out here to the cemetery and watch him bury you, what caused his death? He ODed on Twinkies.
We could not handle that one, brother. You know, so you know, you know, they But you know what? Everybody got a different respect for how sugar can take you out.
Including me, brother. Let me tell you what. You know, I still dive into some sugar, but I tell you what, God bless you.
think don't ever take me to the store and you think I'm going to grab a Twinky. I might grab everything else but we call it like that, you know. And it was that it's a day at a time here, you know.
It's a day is a day of of sobriety and joy every day for me. And when the rough times hit, you know, like I can be I I like, you know, I like not that I'm that kind of speaker, but I like people that are joyful and just kind of lay the cards out, you know. I don't have nothing up here wrote down and all that.
And where I'm at today is uh lovingly I'm still at Jennifer's. Uh hope to get in my own place someday, you know, but I'm not worried about it, you know. And uh you know, my life is just full of joy, you know.
I pulled up in my brand new 1990 Ford wagon that I just came back from Kansas City, Missouri in and people all along the way up there and back saying, "Are you in that?" Hey, I guess so. I'm buying gas for it. You know, where are you going?
I said, St. Louis, Missouri. Oh, okay.
Yeah, just I use my gas, man. You know that power take it there. I said, you know, the only thing that worried me about it when I got back from Kansas City last week or this week was my left rear tire.
When I was going to Bulmont for a cat show, uh, it blew out on me and I bought I stopped in this little town and bought a little used $20 tire and that's what I rode on all the way up there in back. But I I just know God will take care of things, you know. And if not, then you have your experience.
What do you What do you think's coming? I'll tell you right now, don't worry about what's coming. Just take care of the now.
Don't worry about people with time. Just worry about the time you got. You know, enjoy the time you got.
You know, that's where I'm at. 26 years. Right on.
You know, I live for just nuts. You know, I'm I really am in recovery. You know, because what you tell people in recovery, they're somewhat happy.
You know, the joy of living, it's on page 132. We insist on being happy, you know. So, you meet the pruds.
They have a hard time with me. I'll guarantee you they do. Well, is everything funny with you?
I heard a guy at the club the other day tells me, "Well, I guess everything's not funny all the time, huh?" My people came OUT and I just I just said I looked at this sick dude and I said, "I'm going to tell you something. Whatever gave you that idea, I don't know. But if you're not happy and you're in this program, I learned from the day I came in out of this alley that if you're not happy, you're not working this program.
You're working yours. Like, poor me. I'll never, you know, hey, hey, do I want to make the holidays sad?
Yeah, I could do that. You know, got asked to leave the Air Force in October. All my real bad things happened in in the out during the holidays.
Buried my mother on Christmas Day on the 26th. I come home, my my kids are gone. My soriety birthday is January 28th.
My dad died in my army drinking in January until 28th. If I wanted to make a case, oh brother, you know, the meeting I went to, you weren't allowed to talk to for talk for a year cuz they wanted you to learn recovery, not be a whiner. You know, some of us get here maybe we're not whineos until we get sober.
Then we whine about everything. We're just whine whine. That would have been me, you know.
I mean, well, look at what they got and I only got this, you know, and all that. So, what I was able to do is get recovery for a year and know how to use a fourth step and know the difference. Well, the 10th same as a fourth.
Yeah. Yeah. That's why it's six steps away from it.
Yeah. Listen to people. You don't think we're that sick?
Listen to what we talk about. this I mean what devastates us you know if you don't think you have a mental illness you know if you meet if you know people that come here you see them out there and they're not coming to AA but they're sober I heard this from clansancy they're not they don't have the disease they just had a drinking problem and I've met a lot of them honest to god they they stop drinking their life gets better I stopped drinking if anything my life got better but also got worse you know like what now everybody's getting jobs I'm not what about my kids I'm not this I had everything negative everything from whatever and I made it all positive, you know, and and and this program is positive. Yeah.
Well, you just haven't been through what I've been through. Yeah. Well, God will get through it.
You know, let go. You know, now I go to a little church and it's really neat. And this woman has a great message.
Her name is Karen. And she says, she gave a talk and she says, "First on anything we do, we got to stop." And she says, "And people in Alcoholics Anonymous have to stop first and then they have a recovery program." That's right. You know, and then you get the then you know what I love about us, we get all the the people that want to get stuff going.
I'm a recovered alcoholic. I'll never be recovered. I'm in recovery.
You know, we got all this, you know. So So just be whatever you want to be, you know. It says the word recovered is about the first 100.
We have recovered from a seemingly hopeless state of mind and body of this spiritual illness that we have. We have the spirituality has to overcome first. It's on page 66, I believe.
I'm not a page dropper, BUT IT HELPS. I don't want you to think this stuff's coming from me. This is my idea, you know.
So, you know what? And when when you when you get to the power, that's a daily reprieve on a terminal illness, you know, but recovered from Yeah. I don't do things with my that I normally do and when I do I catch myself.
My defects are kind of funny. You know, a guy told me that he knew me when I first arrived in AA and he says, "Yeah, you know what? You were you were one defect looking for a character.
I didn't know how to take that." But, uh, you know, you know, cuz we sit here and we can we're moody. I'm moody. You know, I'll sit there and if you said something to hurt one of my people, we won't may I even tell you, we just ice you.
I don't know. You're in the room. You're right here.
Hey Jerry, how you doing? Did I do something to you? Just, you know, go your potato chips, you know.
So, whatever, you know, that that's it. And, you know, the life here, the life here, you know, just enjoy your life. Enjoy your if you have the defects.
My there's a lady here. I won't mention your name, but I knew her. I've known her for over 13 months.
And she where I live with my wife that uh when we tried to get back together, she knew my wife. She knew how pretty she was. And she's three rows back right there.
And we I walked in I walked into this room and she says, "Jerry, I never knew you were in this program." you know, but she'll tell you that she never saw me many days without a smile on my face. Probably the worst day I ever had there was when I really realized that maybe this woman wasn't coming back. And I tell you what, I pain God, you know, thanks to Chuck C.
Love the pain. Love it. If you're in pain today, love it.
Don't get angry with it cuz it'll create more people and they will come at you. They want you to be angry cuz the more angry you are, the more it separates you from God. You know, I'd rather be happy than right.
You know, hear all these little things. You know, I I I love life today. You know, I saw Prince that I was telling you last night on the on the theater.
Hopefully, things work right. I'll go see him at University of Houston next week on the 30th. You know, one of the things I worried about when I was in Kansas City was my friends and will be will there be ink that's left to see Prince.
you know, how heavy is it? You know, and like I said, I'm I don't have an apartment today, but I live with my friend Jennifer. I don't have a new car, but I got one that's paid for it.
It's got me where I needed to go. I don't have a lot of money, but I'm overpaid. Normaly said that many years ago before he died.
When I'm in AA, I'm overpaid, you know? I mean, what a beautiful life. What beautiful people.
Well, what you see in other people is you, you know, this beautiful friend I have up here, Kathy. She's just super super traitor, Jennifer. I can go I used to go around in my club and people when I was gone said, "God, we're glad you're back." Then there were the other ones that said, "Oh, GOD, HE'S BACK." And you need them.
You know, the ones that don't like and you could care less. Yeah, they're powerful. You need them cuz they're garbage pullers and they they'll bring stuff out of you that other people can't.
See? Ah, and and that's what you need that. You want that stuff out of you want you don't want to get caked up.
So God sends you a garbage puller today. God, not them again. That's it.
That's the bun. That's the one. These are easy to love.
You people are here that I know are easy to love. It's that one. That's um No way.
I'm hanging be never. But Jerry, I I want to That's us. We're like little kids, you know.
You want to know how to treat us if we're upset? Treat us like a 5-year-old. Well, what can I do?
Is there anything? And if the little one comes out and said, "No, get away from me." Get away. Let them process, man.
You know, cuz sometimes people here just cuz they have time and they don't get into meditation, they get sick or sober, you know. Just cuz I got time doesn't mean I'm well. I have a good time.
I'll tell you, there's a lot of people that have more time and less time than me, but nobody in AA has a better time than me. Nobody. You know, I go up dancing at this club called the Sky Bar.
I have a big time up there, you know, and sometimes they bring me up on the stage and I get to do my stuff. Big big, you know, let's do it, you know. And I know I get down.
I was with my friend Kathy one night and the person three tables older held up a 10. Oh, my ego just went like, "Give me a break." You know, like I said, you know what? You're I'm old in age, but not in my heart.
You know, finding at least five good friends is my suggestion before I close it. The people that you really know it's okay to call at 3:00 a.m. or 3:00 p.m.
At least five, you know. And uh and I tell you what, cuz your your life here is just starting. Today is another new day.
The other 26 years and 10 months that's you know see my friend Robert here. God bless I have to I'm sorry Robert I put you on the tape but you know what a blessing you are. You are he really is.
He got a lot of garbage out of the people at my home group. Yeah. Yeah.
Robert was put it on you, baby. Like, yeah, we don't want to hear the truth, man. We don't want to hear that.
But that the truth that sets you free, you know. So, I thank want to thank Marlene again and and for your, you know, what a beautiful uh topic for your whole conference. A vision for you and I hope your vision is mine for you would be if I said a prayer and I will for all all of us today.
We stay sober one day at a time, enjoy life, and help somebody out there that holds out their hand to us. Thank you very much. >> Thank you for listening to Sober Sunrise.
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