>> Welcome to Sober Sunrise, a podcast bringing you AA speaker meetings with stories of experience, strength, and hope from around the world. We bring you several new speakers weekly, so be sure to subscribe. If you'd like to help us remain self-supporting, please visit our website at sober-sunrise.com.

Whether you join us in the morning or at night, there's nothing better than a sober sunrise. We hope that you enjoy today's speaker. >> >> Okay, let's go to page 72.

72 in action. Uh we want to run very briefly now through steps five, six, and seven, and then we'll take our break, okay? So, we go to page 72 in the action.

Now, this not into thinking, this into action. So, having made our personal inventory, well, what should we do about it? Well, we've been trying to get a new attitude.

Remember Dr. Jung said ideas, emotions, and attitudes were the guiding force in the lives of the people we suddenly cast to one side. We're trying to get a new attitude.

And a new relationship with our creator. And our book said that back on page 45 that the main object of this book was to enable me to find a power greater than myself which would solve my problem. And to discover the obstacles in my path.

And what are some of the obstacles? The resentment, the fear, and the harms done through other people. And we've we've admitted certain defects.

And what are these defects? Selfish, dishonest, self-seeking, frightened, and inconsiderate attitudes. We've ascertained in a rough way what the trouble is.

We put the finger on our weak items in our personal inventory. Now, these are about to be cast out. This requires action on our part which when completed will mean that we've admitted it to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our defects.

This brings us to the fifth step in the program of recovery mentioned in the preceding chapter. >> Now, we know that step five says we admitted to God, to ourselves, and another human being the exact nature of our wrongs. But, if you'll notice here in the narrative, he said the exact nature of our defects.

And people used to ask Bill about this, and we've known two ladies that worked with Bill with and for him for years. They both tell us the same thing. They would say, "Bill, why did you use the word wrongs in step five, yet in the narrative here in the book, you used the word defects?

And by the way, Bill, what's the difference anyhow between a wrong in five, a defect in six, and a shortcoming in seven?" And they both said that Bill would just kind of rare back and smile, and he would say, "When I took English and writing courses in college, they taught me not to use the same words over and over. Shows how dumb you are. >> You know, you know, you know.

>> He said there He said there really are no differences in these things. He said in step four, we find those things that block us off from God. In step five, we're going to talk about them to another human being.

In step six, we're going to become willing to turn them loose. In step seven, we're going to ask God to take them away. And he said, "You can call them anything you want to.

A wrong, a fault, a mistake, a defect, a personality flaw, or whatever." And we're going to notice on the next couple of pages that's exactly what he does with them. I followed it up in the 12 and 12 13 years later. Not only does he does it does he do it there, but he does it twice as bad as he did in the big book.

Using these words interchangeably back and forth, all of them meaning identically the same thing. >> He said this is perhaps diff- difficult, especially this discussing our defects. There's that word again.

>> He did it again right there. >> With another person. We think we've done well enough in admitting these things to ourselves.

So there's doubt about that. In actual practice, we usually find that a solitary self appraisal insufficient. Many of us thought it necessary to go much further.

We will be more reconciled in discussing ourselves with another person when we see good reasons why we should do so. The best reason first. If we skip this vital step, we may not overcome drinking.

>> You know, I take these forms now and they're very very vital information that we've done here. Our book says that the solitary self appraisal is insufficient. I did the very best I could do filling out these forms and with the limited knowledge that I had and experience.

But I did the best I could do. Now I take these to another human being and discuss them from left to right all the way across. Someone else who's gone on before me, who's done the inventory according to the big book.

And now that person is going to help me to glean more information out of each of these situations that's going to help me. I need that information because a solitary self appraisal is insufficient. Give you an example.

Looking around this room today and this weekend, I've noticed two or three character defects. There's a couple of them sitting right over there. >> There's one sitting right here on the front row.

>> Right there. >> >> Several of them as a matter of fact. It's real easy for me to look at you and see your defects of character.

There's nothing between you and me except air. But it's very very difficult for me to look at me and see the truth and see my defects of character because there's years and a lifetime of rationalization and justification for these attitudes. and I need another human being to be able to look at me objectively and to help me see things that I couldn't see.

Cuz I'm starting out on a brand new lifetime engagement here, and I need all the information and help that I can get to have a very successful life. And I did the very best I could do in the inventory process, but a solitary self-appraisal is insufficient. I need God and another human being to help me see things that I couldn't see.

>> Now, to be sure we have no contradictions here over on page 73. On that first paragraph where it says more than most people, just the sentence before that said, "But they're not learning enough of humility, fearlessness, and honesty in the sense we find it necessary until they told someone else all their life story." Now, there's the statement that got us confused about step four. And we all began to write our life story thinking that would be step four.

But as we can see, 95% of our life story really doesn't have anything to do with our alcoholism. Fact, I was born in 1929, that really don't have anything to do with it. But I'll tell you what I have done.

If I've taken my inventory the way the book says, I've shared all my life story in those areas that really count. Resentments didn't come in my head just today. They've been popping in my head as far back as I can remember.

I've shared all my life story resentment-wise. Fears didn't come just today. They've been coming in my head as far as I can remember.

I've shared all my life story fears-wise. The harms I've done to other people, I didn't hurt them just yesterday. I've been hurting people as far back as I can remember.

My mother said to me one time, she said, "Charlie, you were the meanest kid I ever saw." She said, "I had a little problem loving you myself." You know, when mama don't love you, you're pretty bad off. >> Yeah. >> And as I look at these things today, my whole life is centered anyhow around those three things.

Those resentments and those fears and those harms I've done to others. So, I don't have any quarrel with that statement at all anymore. If we've done our inventory the way the book says, we've shared our life story.

Now, here's why we really need to share this with another human being. More than most people, the alcoholic leads a double life. He's very much the actor.

To the outer world, he presents his stage character. This is the one he likes his fellows to see. He wants to enjoy a certain reputation, but knows in his heart he doesn't deserve it.

A practicing alcoholic is trying to live two lives. You know, we've got a conscience. Whenever we're sober, we try to live like people are supposed to live.

But when we're drinking, since alcohol lowers the inhibitions, God, we do things that we would never think about doing sober. We're living two lifetimes when we're a practicing alcoholic. The inconsistencies made worse by the things he does on his sprees.

Coming to his senses, he's revolted at certain episodes he vaguely remembers. These memories are a nightmare. He trembles to think someone might have observed him.

As fast as he can, he pushes these memories far inside himself. He hopes they will never see the light of day. He is under constant fear and tension, and it makes for more drinking.

You know, let's face it. We alcoholics have become the world's greatest con artist. You have to be.

You couldn't live as a practicing alcoholic if you didn't learn how to lie, cheat, con, manipulate, steal, whatever's necessary. And I think the one we have to con the most is ourselves. I don't think we could live with ourselves if we had to really see what's going on when we're drinking.

But see, we got a little thing called resentments. And we use those resentments to transfer blame to others, and that way we could live with ourselves. Now, if you've been doing that for 5, 10, 15, 20, 25, 30, 40 years, you come to AA and you take step four, you be just as honest as you can with yourself, but let's face it, we can't be honest with ourselves.

I now need to take my inventory, take it to another human being, one who's walked this walk before me, who understands four, five, six, seven, eight, and nine according to the big book, and have them help me see those things I can't see about me. They're going to change anything in column one. Not going to change anything in column two.

They'll probably change some things in column three. In one place I said this was caused by the sex instinct, and he said, "No, it isn't." Said, "You're just trying to build your self-esteem. That's all you're trying to do." In the fifth column, one place I said this this was caused by fear, and he said, "This is plain damn dishonesty.

That's all this is." He helped me see things I couldn't see. We're getting ready to start a lifetime changing process. We need to be sure that we're trying to change the right things so we can have peace of mind in the future, and we just can't see it by ourselves.

Now, I know confession is good for the soul, and I know if you belong to a denomination that requires it, you ought to go do that, but I still think you ought to take your inventory to somebody in AA, preferably a good sponsor if you got one that knows the program. The main thing is, do they really know the program? If they do, they can help us.

If they don't, then all we're going to get out of it is confession. We need more than that. Page 74 tells people tell you how to to pick somebody that is not valid today like it was in 1939.

In '39, the first person out here in California that got this big book didn't have any other AA members or any sponsor. And it was difficult for them to find somebody to do step five with. That's what page 74 deals with.

But today, there's plenty of good people out here in California that understands this program, that have worked this program, that have walked this step before. That's who we need to select to take step five with. Hopefully, it'll be our sponsor.

Page 75 tells us how to do it. >> So, when we decide who's to hear our story, we waste no time. There's that time factor again.

>> >> We have a written inventory and I'm prepared for a long talk. We explain to our partner what we're about to do and why we have to do it. He should realize that we're engaged upon a life and death errand.

Most people approached in this way will be glad to help. They will be honored by our confidence. I'll never forget when I called my sponsor, Franklin, I said, "Franklin, can I come over this weekend and do my inventory, do my fifth step?" He said, "Sure, I'd love to have you come over." So, I went over there to East uh to Olive Branch, Mississippi.

And I sat down there with Franklin that evening and I said, "Well, I've got it all prepared here and you've helped me a lot and I appreciate it." He said, "Yeah, I know you do and I'm ready to get started." He said, "But first of all, let's you and I do the third step prayer together." That's the kind of sponsor I had. And we'd ask God to be with us during this process. And we did that and we set about looking into this inventory process and Franklin helped me see things that I couldn't see.

I shared these things with him from left to right all the way across. And he asked me questions and helped me see things that I couldn't see. Shared with me some of the things that happened with him and how he could see things.

And it helped me a whole lot. It helped me a lot. And then after that weekend was over, where the book says we pocket our pride and go to it, illuminating every twist of character, every dark corner of the past.

Once taking this step with holding nothing, we are delighted. >> Now, we see the results. >> Some more promises.

We can look the world in the eye. We can be alone at perfect peace and ease. Our fears fall from us.

We begin to feel the nearness of our creator. We may have had certain spiritual beliefs, but now we begin to have a spiritual experience. >> We believed in step two, now we begin to have a spiritual experience.

>> The feeling that the drink problem has disappeared will often come strongly. We feel that we're on the broad highway walking hand in hand with the spirit of the universe. You know, I remember back when I was drinking how my mind used to race uncontrollably every night.

And that's the main reason I drank, it was to stop it. And after I did this fifth step, and I was on my way home that afternoon, I was I I used to lay awake nights thinking if I could just get it all even one time, just get it back to zero, back to even in all those situations, just one time, I'd be okay. And by this time I could see that I could do that.

I was looking forward to the next steps because I wanted to get things squared away one time. And I thank God all the way home for this process up to this point. >> Now, if you've done four and five according to the big book, you've done a lot of work.

You're probably tired, need a little rest. The book's going to give us a little rest stop. Returning home, we find a place where we can be quiet for an hour.

Now, he didn't say 72 days. You see, they mean for us to get on with this thing between three and four at once. Now we get an hour's rest here, but that's all.

We thank God from the bottom of our heart that we know him better. We don't know him yet, but we know him better. Taking this book down from our shelf, we turn to the page which contains the 12 steps.

Carefully reading the first five proposals. Now, he could have said the first five steps again, but he don't want to do it twice in a row. Carefully reading the first five proposals, we ask if we've omitted anything, for we're building an arch through which we we shall walk a free man at last.

Is our work as so far? Are the stones properly in place? Have we skimped on the cement put in the foundation?

Have we tried to make mortar without sand? And once again, we're referring to the wonderfully effective spiritual structure, the personality change we're building. Step one, willingness, was the foundation.

Step two, believing, was the cornerstone. Step three, he told us it's an arch we'll pass through to freedom, and three was the keystone. Now, we put two more stones in place.

Step six. We have emphasized willingness as being indispensable. Are we now ready to let God remove from us all the things which we've admitted are objectionable?

Can he now take them all, every one? If we still cling to something we will not let go, we ask God to help us be willing, and that's all of step six. And if you'll notice, he didn't say a thing about defects of character, did he?

He did say those things that we have admitted are objectionable. Now, surely, surely, in step four and five, when we looked out into that fifth column, and we saw that old selfish, dishonest, self-seeking, frightened, inconsiderate character that we had become, when we saw that those are what caused us to do the things that hurt people, they in turn retaliate, we in turn resent, we're afraid, we're filled with guilt and remorse, causes us to drink, then surely those things in the fifth column have now become objectionable to us. Are we ready to turn them loose?

If we are, we're through with step six. The book recognizes, though, that self cannot always overcome self. Cuz it says if we're not ready, we ask God to help us be willing to turn these things loose.

Now, you would think when we see what they do to us, we'd be more than willing. But sometimes we're not. You know, we human beings are funny people.

So sometimes we would rather sit in today's pain and suffering cuz we've kind of learned how to take care of that. Sometimes we'd rather sit in today's pain and suffering than take a chance on changing in the future cuz we don't know what change will bring. You see, if I have to get rid of my selfishness and become unselfish, then how am I going to get what I want in the future?

If I'm going to have to get rid of my dishonesty and start operating honestly, how in the hell am I going to make a living? I don't know nothing about honesty when I get here. If I'm going to have to start getting rid of my self-seeking frightened character and and start operating on courage, that scares the hell out of me.

I don't know nothing about that. If I'm going to have to start considering other people and their needs and their wants, then then who's going to take care of me? Sometimes we would rather sit in today's pain than take a chance on changing in the future.

And the book recognized that and said, "If you're not willing, you ask God to help you be willing." And with God's help, we become willing. We're through with six. When ready, we say something like this, "My creator, I'm now willing you should have all of me, good and bad." I pray that you now remove from me every single defect of character.

Whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop. We're in step seven now and it said shortcomings, but here he calls See what he's done to us? He confused the hell out of us, didn't he?

You betcha. I pray you now remove from me every single defect of character which stands in the way of my usefulness to you and my fellows. Grant me strength as I go out from here to do your bidding.

Amen. We then completed step seven. Are you ready to have God remove them?

If you are, you're through with six. Have you humbly asked him to take them away? If you have, you've done step seven.

But I hope you don't make the mistake I did. I assumed that now that I'm ready and God being all powerful, all I've got to do is turn to God and say, "Okay God, here I am, warts and all. Zap me and give me the 2995 special >> >> and I'll never have to worry about this stuff again." I found out it won't work that way.

God will do for me what I can't do for myself. I simply do not have the power to remove a character defect. Only God has that power.

God will not do for me what I can do for myself. And what I can do for myself is find out the opposite of that character defect. And then with God's help and all the willpower I can muster in every situation comes up try to practice the opposite.

Cuz you see God can't take away my selfishness and leave another hole in my head. It's going to have to be replaced with the opposite, which is unselfishness. And when I first got here, my mind was a set of mental habits ingrained in 38, 39, 40 years of living.

The habitual thing for me to is to react selfishly. And the only way you break a habit is to work against yourself. And if I ask God to take away selfishness and I start trying to practice unselfishness, slowly the old habit dies and a new habit takes its place.

And over a period of years, I have become an unselfish human being. I am not what I was when I first got here. If I want God to take away dishonesty, then I must do my part, which is to practice honesty in every situation that comes up.

And God, that's hard for me to do. That is so alien to my nature. And I can't practice honesty without God's help, but with God's power, all the willpower I can muster, I can force myself to be honest, and slowly the old idea dies and a new one takes its place.

The habitual thing for me today is to react to any situation with honesty. If I want God to take away fear, then I've got to kick myself in the butt and practice courage. If I want him to take away inconsideration, then I must start considering other people and their needs and their wants, and slowly the old idea dies and a new idea takes its place.

The book says, "We were reborn." I am not what I used to be. Now, I'm not completely unselfish, never will be. I'm not always completely honest.

Sometimes I'm afraid, and at other times I'm inconsiderate, but the majority of the time I'm an unselfish, honest human being with courage, considering other people first. You know, I think you and I are the luckiest people in the world. We have the opportunity through these two little steps right here to live two lifetimes in one lifetime.

Most people out there are sick. Most of them are going to the grave sick, not even knowing they're sick. We not only know we're sick, we know what's wrong with us.

We found it in steps four and five, and in six and seven, we can do something about it, and we can change it, and we become entirely different human beings. Most people don't get that opportunity. Now, be careful.

For God's sake, be careful. Cuz if you really accept this as the correct thing, the right thing, then that means from this day on, you are responsible for what you are. I can't blame it on Barbara any longer.

Can't blame it on mother and dad. I can't blame it on God, and I can't blame it on society. If I stay selfish, dishonest, self-seeking, frightened, and inconsiderate, it's got to be because that's the way I want to be.

I no longer have the luxury of blaming it on others, cuz I don't have to be that way. And you know what I found out? I found out that when you become unselfish, people start kind of liking you a little better better than they did before.

I found out when you start becoming honest, well, hell, you feel better about yourself. That's the way you build self-esteem is to do the right thing for a change. I found out when I practice with courage and and I and I and I and operate on courage instead of fear, I do things that makes me feel better.

And I quit doing things that used to make me feel so bad. Oh, I found out that there's real pleasure in considering other people first and giving to others before you take for yourself. I didn't know that.

How in the hell could I know that? I'd never been that way before. This thing absolutely amazes me in in what happens to us and the simplicity of this thing, if we'll just do what the book says, Joe.

>> You know, there's always a paradox in AA. To give you an idea of what a paradox is, how many of you have ever ever called your sponsor so you could listen? We always call them so we can talk, right?

That's the paradox. And the paradox here in in this in these two steps is that they use the doctor's opinion in the first four chapters to do step one and two. Three and a half pages for step three, eight pages for step four, four pages for step five, and a whole chapter devoted with working with others.

But the paradox is that two of the biggest steps in all of Alcoholics Anonymous is on two little paragraphs. Six and seven. And these are the tools of change.

These are the tools of acceptance. A lot of people talk about just run around accepting things. I accept this, I accept that.

Well, I can't do that. Acceptance comes after some actions. Six and seven, the acceptance comes after the actions of six and seven.

You know, there's a story in that little book about this guy named Judas. Judas could not accept what he had done. And what did he do?

Kill himself. That's the That's the importance of acceptance. And you can't accept anything unless you take some actions.

And he didn't do steps six and seven, didn't have them. And And the other story is that there's a story in this other book about this guy, his name was Saul. Saul was on riding his ass on the way to Damascus.

Big bolt of lightning come down, knocked him off his ass on his ass. That's the way I read it. >> >> He gets up and he dusts himself off and this big voice come out of the sky and said, "Saul, can we talk?" Yeah, yeah, we can talk.

What do you want to talk about? Had to get his attention, didn't he? Maybe alcoholism had to get our attention.

And he said, "Yeah, Saul, you've been a very selfish individual and you've harmed a lot of people and you're very resentful and angry and you've harmed a lot of people by those attitudes." And he said, "I want you to quit doing that." And he said, "Well, how do you quit doing that?" He said, "Well, do these things. And if you'll do that, then you'll make a change. And when you change, then we'll call you Paul." Well, he did those things and became Paul.

Now, we know that Paul was one of the greatest writers the world's ever known. And in in a Corinthians town of Corinthians, they asked Paul one day, said, "Paul, said, what is the secret to living?" And he said, "The secret to living is daily dying." The old Saul had to die so the new Paul came alive. You see, six and seven.

And by the time I got to six and seven, I could see what I had become as result of the previous steps, and I didn't like what I had become. And a little doubt crept in my mind, "Can God really change me from what I have become to what he intends for me to be?" And then I had to reaffirm and rethink about this idea. On page 53, it said, "God either is or he isn't.

He either can or he can't." And what was my choice going to be? And I chose to believe that he could. The tools of change to change from what I had become to that which God intended for me, six and seven, two of the biggest steps in all of Alcoholics Anonymous.

>> Now, just before the break, I want Joe to tell you one little story about buying some salad to show you practicing this thing. >> I was hoping he wouldn't do that to me this morning. A few years ago, I went into the into the grocery store to buy some salad and some stuff to fix for a salad that night.

Was having steak, and I went in there and bought this stuff and came back up to the registry and I was going to pay up. I gave this lady a $10 and she took the $10 and stood right there and counted me out change for a 20. And I watched her do it.

And I picked up that money and I put it in my pocket and I got out of my car and I sat there and I said, "Well, you big dummy. You sold out for 10 bucks. I thought it was worth more than that, you know.

I'm glad it wasn't less than that." And I so I took the money back in there and I told the lady, I said, "You know, I'm a member of a fellowship that requires me to be honest and you gave me too much money and I want to give you this $10 back." And she said, "You know, I never I've never fellowship like that." I said, "Well, I hadn't either until a few years ago." So, here's your 10 bucks back. Well, the whole point of this story, when I walked out of that $10, and believe me, I don't need $10. I mean, I do not need $10.

And I walking out of that store, and I felt about that big. Sneaking out the door. You see, then I went back in there and gave her that 10 bucks back, and I walked out and I feeling good again.

I did the right thing. >> And if you practice that enough times, the next time she gives change for a 20, you do it right there. You don't even go out the door with it.

That's what we're talking about when we change, and only we can do it. Only we can slay ourselves with God's help, and become different human beings. So, if you stay dishonest, self-seeking, frightened, and inconsideration, must be because you want to.

We've We've completed our first seven steps, knowing full well we're going to be working on six and seven for the rest of our lives, really. Trying to change as the opportunity comes up. Now, we've read in the book where we are spiritually sick, mentally sick, and physically sick.

And it says when the spiritual malady is overcome, we straighten out mentally and physically. And we begin to look at those things, and begin to realize that all human beings really are born to live in three dimensions of life. You know, if God dwells within each of us, we're going to have to live with God, whether we like it or not, it's beside the point.

The only question is, do we live with him in harmony or disharmony? I don't know of anybody that ever got in more disharmony with God than we alcoholics have. We also have what we call the mental dimension.

We've all got a mind. Sometimes we act like we don't, but we do. And we have to live with our mind, whether we like it or not, it's beside the point.

We don't have any choice. And again, do we live there in harmony or disharmony? I don't know of any group of people that ever got more fouled up in their heads than we alcoholics have.

For years, I thought the physical dimension was my body only. Today, I realize the physical dimension is the world and everything in it, period. Now, we alcoholics don't have any place else to live except here on Earth.

We don't have any choice in the matter, whether we like it or not, it's beside the point. The only question is, do we live on Earth with our fellow man in harmony or disharmony? And I don't know of any group of people that ever got more fouled up in our relationship with the world and everybody in it than we alcoholics have.

So, we were sick spiritually, mentally, and physically. The book talks about a design for living. And it looks to us like these steps are designed in such a manner to put us back together and make us well in all three dimensions of life as God intended for us to be in the first place.

Step one, two, and three, we got right with the spirit. Because we were powerless, we saw the need for the power. Step three, we decided to go after that power.

And we made a decision that God was going to be the director. That he's the father, we're the children, he's the employer, we're the employee. For most of us, that's the first time we've had that relationship with God for a long, long, long time.

We got the right relationship in one, two, and three. That removed just enough self-will to let us begin to look into our own minds. And in step four and five, we found out those things that block us off from God, that block us off from our fellow man, that creates the resentments and the fears and the guilts and etc.

And we begin to work on those in step six and seven. We begin to get right in our minds through four, five, six, and seven. Now, that removes just enough self-will to begin to look at our relationship with the world and everybody in it.

Now, through four, five, six, and seven, we got rid of these resentments up here. We got rid of these fears up here to the level God intended for them to be. But, we really haven't done anything about the storeroom back here that's filled with guilt and remorse associated with the harms we've done in the past.

And if we want to get right in the physical dimension, our relationship with the world and everybody in it, it's long been known that the way you do that is to make restitution for the things done in the past. Then the guilt and the remorse begins to disappear. Now, I've never yet seen a newcomer come into a meeting and read the steps off the wall and say that I can hardly wait till we get to steps eight and nine.

That looks like a lot of fun. Nobody likes to do steps eight and nine. Nobody that I've ever met.

Some people might, but not that I know. The only question is, can we afford not to do that? It looks like if we don't do that, that guilt and remorse in here it just kind of keeps chewing at us.

And after a while, it begins to bother our relationship with the world and everybody in it, and we start getting sick in our head. And after a while, that backs up and blocks us off from God, and we end up drunk again. You know, when we read the forward to the second edition, it sounded as though Dr.

Bob never took another drink after Bill visited with him the first time. That isn't true. Dr.

Bob had one more drunk left in him. Not too long after Bill called on him, and they began to try to work with people, Bob found it necessary to go to a medical convention, and his wife Anne begged Bill not to let him go. Said, "Bill, if he goes over there, he'll get drunk.

He does it every year." And Bill said, "Let him go. He's got to learn to live in society where there's always going to be plenty of alcohol." Bob went to the medical convention, got drunk, came back to Akron, showed up at his nurse's home. She called Anne said, "Come and get him.

He's drunk." And said, "Get him sobered up. He's got surgery in the morning. He's the only doctor on staff right now that can do this particular surgery." Dr.

Bob was a proctologist. Whatever your procto is, I'm glad he wasn't working on mine the next morning. I know that.

They went over and got him and brought him back to Dr. Bob's house, and they coffeed him and they walked him and they sobered him to the best of their ability. The next morning, Bill took him to the hospital to do the surgery.

In the parking lot at the hospital, Dr. Bob said, "Bill, I can't do this surgery." He said, "I'm sick and I'm shaking and I'm trembling and I'm going to hurt somebody bad." Bill reached in the back seat of the car, got out a bottle of beer, popped the top on it, said, "Drink this and you'll be okay." Dr. Bob drank the beer, went upstairs, did the surgery, and sure enough, it came out okay.

Now, the only problem is he disappears. Bill's waiting on him down in the parking lot. He waits 2 or 3 4 hours.

He assumes that the beer's triggered the allergy and Bob's off and running. He goes back to Dr. Bob's house.

And Bill and Anne wait all afternoon. >> >> Late late late evening, Dr. Bob shows up and he's sober.

Bill said, "Where in the hell have you been?" He said, "I've been going up and down both sides of the street making my amends to those I've harmed in the past." That bottle of beer was the last drink Dr. Bob took January the 10th, 1935, which is AA's birthday. He never would make amends before because he was afraid people would find out he was alcoholic and he would lose what little practice he had left.

He didn't know that everybody already knew he was alcoholic. >> >> The day he screwed up the courage, mustered up enough courage to make his amends, was the day he took his last drink. Now, I would assume if it's good enough for Bob, it's probably good enough for me, too.

Let's look at 8 and 9 for just a few minutes. We're not going to go through them in great detail, just a few minutes. >> He said, "Now, we need more action without which we find that faith without works is dead." Let's look at steps 8 and 9.

You know, generally when you go to a step study meeting and they begin to talk about step 8, generally the conversation will get over to where they how they made amends in step 9. But, step 8 is a definite step and it's a step that needs to be done. He said, "Let's We have a list of all persons we had harmed and to whom we're willing to make amends." He said, "We made it when we took inventory.

We we simply take all those names off of column one off of those four sheets and any one that we've harmed, we've put them on one long sheet. Haven't made any amends yet. We just made the list.

And then the book says, "We subjected ourselves to a drastic self-appraisal." Well, we did that in steps four and five. A drastic self-appraisal. So, now we're about to go out to these fellows and repair the damage done in the past.

We attempt to sweep away the debris which has accumulated out of our effort to live on self-will and run the show ourselves. If we haven't the will to do this, we ask until it comes. More prayer in step eight.

And again, it's real simple. We make the list. Then we become willing to the list.

And if we're not willing, we ask God to help us to become willing. We haven't made any amends yet. That's step eight.

And when we do that, then we've completed step eight. >> Nearly every one of these action steps recognizes itself can overcome self. And we have prayer in most of them.

And here we got it again in step eight. That if we're not willing, we ask God to help us be willing. And I had a lot of difficulty in step eight and step nine because there were some people that had harmed me just as bad as I'd ever harmed them.

And I didn't feel it was going to be necessary for me to make any amends to them, and I didn't feel like I could, and I didn't want to. And I told my sponsor about this. He said, "Okay." He said, "What I'd like to see you do is take that list that you have and divide it into four lists." And he said, "I'd like to see you put on one list right now.

I'd like to see you put on another list later. I'd like to see you put on another list maybe. And I'd like to see you put on another list never." Now, he said, "Those that you love and you want to make amends to them right now, put them on that list.

Those that you know you're going to do it sooner or later, but you're not too keen about it, put them on the later list. He said, "Those that you aren't sure about, you may or may not, put them on the maybe list." And he said, uh put put the second ones on the later and then put the third ones on the maybe list. And he said, "Then those you're never going to make amends to, put them on the nevers list." And then he said, "I want you to start making your amends to the right now's." And he said, "By the time you're through with that, you'll probably be ready to do some laters.

And by the time you're through with the laters list, you'll probably be ready to do some maybes." And he reached in his billfold and got out a $20 bill and he said, "I'm going to bet you $20 by the time you're through with the maybes, you'll be ready to start on the nevers." And the old fool was exactly right. >> >> You know, I was trying to block myself off entirely from step eight and nine by using three or four names and he didn't let me do that. He gave me a process by which I could become willing to make amends to them all eventually.

And it really did work for me. So, if you got that problem or you're working with somebody got that problem, try the four list. Right now, later, maybe, and never.

And it really works. Okay, after we've got the list, we're willing. Over on page 77, we begin to look at step nine.

Now, step nine is a definite three-part step. The first part tells us the kind of amends to make. We make direct amends wherever possible.

Direct amends is probably eyeball to eyeball, face to face, one-on-one. So, he tells us the kind of amends to make, direct amends. Then he tells us when to make them, wherever possible.

Then he tells us when not to make them, except when to do so would injure them or others. Now, for the next three or four pages, he handles each one of these things paragraph by paragraph. Page 77, that paragraph down in the middle of the page, it says we don't use this as an excuse for shying away from the subject of God when it would serve any good purpose.

We're willing to announce our convictions with tact and common sense. Now, the direct amends starts right here with the words, "The question of how to approach the man we hated will arise." Let's look at this one. >> I think in the area of the ninth step, especially since we're going to go out and make amends for the harm done, I think that especially we need to talk to our sponsors in the and listen to our sponsors in this area to get some information about how we're going to go about making these amends, cuz we can go out in our zeal to make amends and cause a whole lot more harm than we ever intended or had ever done prior to that just trying to make amends.

So, check with your sponsor in this area, lay out how you're going to do it and what you propose to do, and see what he says. Very, very important. See, the question of how to approach the man we hated will arise.

It may be he's done us more harm than we've done him. And though we And though we may have acquired a better attitude toward him, we're still not too keen about admitting our faults. Nevertheless, with a person we dislike, we take the bit in our teeth.

It's harder to go to an enemy than to a friend, but we find it much more beneficial to us. We go to him in a helpful and forgiving spirit, confessing our former ill feelings and expressing our regret. Now, under no condition do we criticize such a person or argue.

Simply, we tell him that we will never get over drinking until we've done our utmost to straighten out the past. We're there to sweep off our side of the street, realizing nothing worthwhile can be accomplished until we do so. Never trying to tell him what he should do.

His faults are not discussed. We stick to our own. Now, if our manner is calm, frank, and open, we will be gratified with the result.

In nine cases out of 10, the unexpected happens. Sometimes the man we are calling upon admits his own fault. So, feud of years standing melt away in an hour.

Rarely do we make do we fail to make satisfactory progress. Our former enemy sometimes praise what we're doing and wish us well. Occasionally, they will offer assistance.

It should not matter, however, if someone does throws out of his office. We've made our demonstration, done our part. It's water over the dam.

And every time I read that, I think about my cousin Gary. And I was in the area making amends at this time. And I was in this restaurant one day, and I've never been in that restaurant before or since.

And I looked up and Gary was at the door waiting to be seated. And I motioned him over. Now, he came over very reluctantly.

Cuz Gary and I have been fighting and fussing and physically and verbally abusing each other all of our life. So, he came over very reluctantly. He wasn't quite sure what I might do.

And I asked him to sit down, and he did reluctantly. And I said looked at him and I said, "Gary, I've found out I'm an alcoholic and I'm a member of Alcoholics Anonymous, and I'm trying to straighten out my life, and trying to make amends for the harms that I've done people. And I've harmed you a whole lot over these years.

And I want to ask you if you'll forgive me for that." Well, he kind of relaxed like that. He said, "You know, Joe, I want to ask you if you'll forgive me the things I've done to you." That whole deal went away just like that. And that's a wonderful thing.

But the best part about it is that Gary comes to Alcoholics Anonymous sometime to mind, even now. Well, he's making progress. He used to be a daily drinker, and now he's a uh so uh what do you call it?

A periodic drinker. Yeah. >> So, he's making progress.

But he comes to the group that I attend, and we sit down and he'll and we'll visit back and forth a little bit, as much as he will allow me to. But had that not happened that many years ago, Gary would never come to Alcoholics Anonymous. Maybe someday he'll get sober.

I hope so. Eyeball to eyeball, face to face, and one-on-one. I think we got to remember now the purpose of making the amends is not to get you to like me.

I hope you will when I'm through. But the purpose is to get rid of my fear, my guilt, and my remorse. If I write you a letter, I'm not quite sure how you accepted it.

I'm still a little concerned about what you're going to say and do the next time I run into you. I'm not sure I've done my utmost. If I call you on the telephone, I got the same situation.

But if I go to you wherever you are, your office, your home, or wherever it might be, and we sit down, eyeball to eyeball, face to face, one-on-one, when I've made my amends, I'm through with it. I'll never have to worry about it again. You've done the the worst you're going to do to me right there.

And I in turn have done my utmost. No doubt that's the best way to do it. Another kind of amend is an equal restitution or equal amounts.

You know, we tended to hurt a lot of people in in the material area also. Some of them we stole from them and never did give them their money back. Some of them we ran up bills that we never did pay.

We wrote hot checks that we never did pick up. We tore up automobiles we never did fix. We hurt a lot of people in a lot of ways in the material world.

What are we going to do about that? It really wouldn't do much good for me to come to you and say, "Look, you and I both know I stole $1,200 from you when I was drinking, and I'm sorry about it. Would you forgive me?" You're probably going to say, "I'm sorry about it, too.

Where's my $1,200?" Equal restitution. Bill handles that it next paragraph. Most alcoholics owe money.

Now, that's probably the understatement of the year right there. We do not dodge our creditors, tell them what we're trying to do. We make no bones about our drinking.

They usually know it anyway, whether we think so or not. Nor are we afraid of disclosing our alcoholism on the theory it may cause financial harm. Approached in this way, the most ruthless creditor will sometimes surprise us.

Arranging the best deal we can, we let these people know we are sorry. Our drinking has made us slow to pay. We must lose our fear of creditors, no matter how far we have to go, for we're liable to drink if we're afraid to face them.

And I think what he's saying to me is this. That if I owe you money for any reason, I need to come to you and say, "Look, I know I owe you the $1,200 and you know you know it, too. And I'm trying to get my life straightened out.

I'm sorry I can't pay you that amount of money today, but what I'd like to do is start paying you $5 a week, $10 a week, whatever I can live with. And I start paying you that five or $10 a week, or 20, or whatever we've decided on. And as the weeks go by, some morning I wake up and I say, "Hey, that sucker's paid off." I don't have to worry about that one anymore.

The fear and the guilt and remorse is gone. I go to the next one. I say, "Now, you and I both know I owe you a couple thousand dollars.

Can't pay you today, but I'd like to start paying you about 20 bucks a week." And I start paying you $20 a week, and some morning I wake up and I say, "By golly, that sucker's paid off, too." And then I go to the next one. And then the next one, then the next one, and someday I wake up, and by golly, they're all paid off. And the fear and the guilt and remorse is gone, I feel good back here in the back of my head now after that guilt and remorse and fear is gone.

Now, a guy came to me one time and we were discussing this. And he said, "Charlie, if I tried to pay them so much a week, do you know how old I'd be before I got them paid off?" I said, "You'll be the same age as you would be if you didn't pay them off." It don't make any difference. You know, I've lived long enough to know that time is going to pass.

I wish I could stop it, but I can't. And as time passes, I can use it for a worthwhile purpose, do something about these things, or I can keep putting it off and putting it off and putting it off and 5 years or 10 years or 15 years from now still be in the same situation and maybe drunk in the meantime. We have a good friend used to live in Tulsa, moved out here to California.

He's gone now, he's dead. Name was Dan. When Dan was 29 years sober, he said, "Charlie, I paid the last one of them last week." I said, "Dan, how do you feel?" He said, "I feel about 8-ft tall." Now, Dan was a little bitty fellow, about 5-ft 1.

He said, "This is the first time in my life that I can ever remember that I don't owe somebody something for what I've stolen in the past." He said, "I feel pretty good about old Dan." Dan owed a lot of money. When he was drinking, he was in the oil business down in Texas. And he hooked him and he hooked him big.

Took him 29 years to pay them. But by golly, he got it done. I'll tell you how good a con artist Dan was.

When he was still drinking in Texas, his wife, Sarah, who later became a beautiful member of Al-Anon, she took him to the state and the state asylum in Big Spring, Texas to have him committed for alcoholic insanity. The head psychiatrist interviewed Sarah. Then he interviewed Dan.

And after a while, Dan left and Sarah was locked up. >> >> Truth. She stayed there for a year.

She learned how to live better electrically and all that goody-goody stuff in there. Dan was a real con artist, Joe. >> You know, Dan did his he He paid back a lot of money.

It's not a lot of money out here in California, but in Oklahoma, it's a lot of money. >> lot of money. >> Yeah.

You guys got plenty money out here. We all know that. But uh Dan paid them all back and I spent many, many days and and playing bridge with Dan and Sarah and he and my wife and they were uh teaching us the program a lot and sharing with us and they paid a lot of money back.

Now, you'd have thought the money kind of money he paid back would have kept him broke, but it didn't. He prospered in other ways. He wasn't rich when he died, but he had a very comfortable living throughout all those years and he prospered as a result of doing the right things with his debts.

>> And again, I hear some of you saying I can hear awful good. He hears good. Now, I hear some of you saying, "Well, Charlie, that that stuff's probably all right for $1,200 or 2,000 or maybe 10,000.

But what if it's a half a million? What if it's a million? What if it's 2 million?

Could we pay that back? I don't know why not. If we're smart enough to steal it, we're probably smart enough to pay it back if we're willing to do so.

You know, I think we forget from step three on, God's with us. And if we're willing to do these things, God's going to make it possible to do so, just like he did for Dan. Dan didn't die a rich man, but Dan died a very comfortable man.

God saw that Dan had the means to be able to pay these people back. The willingness is what it takes to do this. And it really works for people like us.

On page 79, about the middle of the page, it talks about where other people are involved. And we need to really, really consider this now. Sometimes in our zeal to be forgiven for the things we've done in the past, we make amends where we end up hurting the one we owe amends to even more.

Or what possibly hurt somebody else. And if we do that, then sooner or later we're going to have to go back and make amends for that, too. So, we have to be very, very careful where there are other people are involved.

Over on page 80, there he had an example on page 80 where he uh he went to the people involved and got their permission to make the amend before he made it in order to be sure everything was going to be okay. Bottom of page 80, he starts talking about domestic troubles. Page 81, he talks about sex outside of marriage.

What are we going to do about those kind of things? Very carefully he handles just about every conceivable situation that could come up. You know, people I work with, usually we can find the answer to their amends as to whether they should make it or shouldn't and how to make it here in the big book.

Covers just about all situations. The key thing I think you can Joe said it while ago is get somebody else's advice. You know, I've seen too many people jump into these amends too fast.

And not only hurt other people, but end up destroying a family, destroying a relationship with another human being completely. You know, I think that we should go to our sponsors, get their help, get their advice before we even start making these amends, especially where it involves maybe hurting other people. Page 83, third paragraph.

There may be some wrongs we could never fully right. You know, some of these people are already dead and buried. Some of them to make the amends would hurt them or others and we can't do that.

We don't worry about them and we can honestly say to ourselves that we would write them if we could. Some people cannot be seen, we send them an honest letter. There may be a valid reason for postponement in some cases.

But we don't delay if it can be avoided. We should be sensible, tactful, considerate, and humble without being servile or scraping. As God's people we stand on our feet, we don't crawl before anyone.

You know, one mistake I see us making is we go to somebody and try to make our amends and they don't accept it. They didn't all accept mine. Some of them said, "Charlie, we didn't like you when you were drinking.

Not too damn crazy about you now. We'd just soon you get out of here and leave us alone." And when that happens to us it just crushes us. And we tend to want to go back and go back and go back and literally beg those people to forgive us.

We don't need to do that. If they don't accept it, there's nothing we can do about that. About all we can do is stand in readiness to make it at a later date if the opportunity comes up.

But we certainly do not have to crawl before anyone. We are God's people today. >> You know, as I sit here this morning and I came painfully aware joyfully aware to me this year all those situations that I used to have that I thought needed to make amends are all taken care of.

I mean every one of them. And I'll tell you about two here this morning if you will. When I was drinking I had a mobile home up north and west of Tulsa to lake called Lake Keystone.

Didn't think my wife knew anything about it. Nice place. And one morning in the middle of the night there was a knock on the door and I finally come to the door and I I opened it up and what she did she just broke in.

Phyllis did. I really wasn't having a good time. Embarrassed me in front of my girlfriend.

Yeah. And our daughter. She brought the daughter with her.

I was not having a good time. And now Gail she was affected by my drinking of course. And she when she was 17 years old just a few days after she was 17 she got married to get away from Phyllis Nichols.

Phyllis is in the program of Alcoholics Anonymous now some 23 years she's been sober thank God. But Gail was affected by this. And I and I the book says a remorseful mumbling won't fill the bill at all.

Well of course I tried to make a few amends verbally to Gail and you know that didn't she said it's okay. But it wasn't until 6 years ago. I sober 19 years and talking to Gail on the phone she was living up in Columbus Ohio.

And she said Daddy thing happened here recently said her sister-in-law had died and her husband had died unexpectedly and left two kids. For someone else to raise. And she said if something should happen like that to Jim and I said would you and mom take the kids?

You know that's when I knew she really had. Forgiven me. That's it took 19 years.

A remorseful mumbling won't fill the bill at all. Now I'm sober in Alcoholics Anonymous for two and a half years and Phyllis and I get back together. Nine years later I'm standing in the back of the room greeting people as they come in to the meeting place that night.

And I looked around and here's the lady the mobile home incident. >> Phyllis is at the coffee bar. >> Phyllis is at the coffee pot getting coffee and she looked over the shoulder you know it all happened just about that quick.

I I believe you'll get an opportunity to handle all these situations. God makes it wherever possible. And uh some of the guys was aware of this situation.

They said, "What did she say?" I said, "She didn't say anything for about a week." And we were in another meeting and here's this lady and she was trying to get sober and come into AA and then again in another meeting and here's this lady and Phyllis began to talk ugly to me. They'll do that, you know. And I began to pay the price again.

Began to feel bad about it again. Well, after about two or three weeks of this and one night she was settled down, she'd come back down through the ceiling. And we were able to talk about this.

And I said, "Phyllis, you know, I've already paid one hell of a price for this. I mean, I have already paid one hell of a price physically, morally, spiritually, financially, in every way you can pay." And uh what I'm trying to tell you is I'm not paying anymore. I says, "It's just like last month's gas bill.

I paid that one and I'm not paying that one no more." They'll let you pay forever if you'll pay. There comes a time when you quit paying. >> We don't have to crawl before anyone.

We make our amends to the best of our ability and go on about our business. Okay, if you write with God in one, two, and three, you're right with yourself in four, five, six, and seven, you're right with your fellow man in eight and nine. For the first time as far back as we can remember, we're well in all three dimensions of life.

We've been put back together as God intended for us to be in the first place. Now, if you're well in all three dimensions of life, you're going to feel pretty good. I don't think it's by accident.

The very next thing are the promises. They come immediately after this program of action. >> So, if we're painstaking about this phase of our development, we'll be amazed before we're halfway through.

Which phase of our development? Well, the eight and nine phase. >> Yeah, we're going to know a new freedom and a new happiness.

We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it. We will comprehend the word serenity and we will know peace. No matter how far down the scale we've gone, we'll see how our experience can benefit others.

That feeling of uselessness and self-pity will disappear. We will lose interest in selfish sayings and gain interest in our fellows. Self-seeking will slip away.

Our whole whole attitude and outlook >> Come on, life will change. >> Fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us. We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us.

We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves. Are these describing it promises? We think not.

They're being fulfilled among us, sometimes quickly >> Spiritual experience. >> sometimes slowly. >> Spiritual awakening.

>> But they will always materialize if we work for them. You know, I've had some very horrendous hangovers in my time and I know that you guys have too. And I have thrown up sometimes of something horrendously, blood and all, in my drinking career.

But you know, those kind of experiences never caused me to want to quit drinking. What caused me wanting to quit drinking was the guilt, shame, and remorse that I had as a result of the harm that I did other people. And these promises begin to come about in my life.

They came about not in my body but in my mind. I began to experience these things in my mind and I knew that of course that the program was working for me and I'm free of those things today, thank God. >> I'm going to read them again.

I'm going to add a few words to them. And the words I'm going to add to them refer to the time when I was young. When alcohol was my friend.

When I could drink it and be Fred Astaire on the dance floor. And the world's greatest lover in the back seat of a '36 Chevrolet. This is the way alcohol used to make me feel before it turned against me.

Whenever I took a drink of alcohol, I knew a new freedom and a new happiness. Whenever I took a drink of alcohol, I did not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it. Whenever I took a drink of alcohol, I would comprehend the word serenity and I would know peace.

Whenever I took a drink of alcohol, no matter how far down the scale I had gone, I could see how my experience would benefit others. >> >> Whenever I took a drink of alcohol, that feeling of uselessness and self-pity would disappear. Whenever I took a drink of alcohol, I would lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in my fellows.

Whenever I took a drink of alcohol, self-seeking would slip away. Whenever I took a drink of alcohol, my whole attitude and outlook upon life would change. Whenever I took a drink of alcohol, fear of people and economic insecurity would leave me.

Whenever I took a drink of alcohol, I would intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle me. Whenever I took a drink of alcohol, I would suddenly realize that alcohol was doing for me what I could not do for myself. Now, think about that a moment.

My God, no wonder I loved to drink. When you find anything that will do that much for you, you immediately become mentally addicted to the use of it, whatever it is. If it had been chocolate ice cream, by God, I would have been addicted to chocolate ice cream.

If it had been Hostess Twinkies, it would have been Hostess Twinkies. If it had been gambling, it would have been gambling. Mine was alcohol.

Alcohol did for me what I could not do for myself, and it was my friend, and it worked for me like magic for years. But one day, alcohol turned against me, and all the things I was afraid would happen to me now begin to happen because of the alcohol itself. I became a very, very confused individual.

Not knowing I was alcoholic. Not knowing I would never be able to recapture these feelings from alcohol. I spent the last four, five, six years of my drinking desperately trying to get these things back from alcohol.

Almost destroyed me in the process. I came to AA. You gave me a book.

I found a little program of action in this book. I began to apply it in my life. And one day I woke up and found these promises in my head.

And I suddenly realized that the first nine steps of Alcoholics Anonymous are doing just exactly for me what alcohol used to do for me when alcohol was my friend. You see, that's why I don't drink today. If I hadn't found this somewhere, I would still be searching for it.

I would probably have gone back to alcohol until eventually it completely consumed me and destroyed me. But I don't need to drink because I found everything good that alcohol gave me through the first nine steps of Alcoholics Anonymous. That's the miracle of Alcoholics Anonymous.

And at the same time I realized it's giving me the good, I also realized the first nine steps have never turned against me as alcohol did. I've never been placed in jail because of the first nine steps. No lady has ever dragged me through a divorce court because of the first nine steps.

I've never vomited. Damn near did a time or two, but I've never really vomited because of the first nine steps. You see, that's the miracle.

And if you read those promises, you'll notice they all deal with on mind. None of them deal with the body. We came here restless, irritable, discontented, filled with shame, fear, guilt, remorse, worry, anger, depression, and etc.

We've worked the steps. We received the promises. Certainly we have undergone a change in our personality.

We have undergone a spiritual awakening already. Now, if that's true, then what's the purpose of the last three steps? And many people would tell us they last three steps are to maintain our sobriety.

I will agree that they will help us stay sober. But the word maintenance itself is a misnomer. To maintain something means to keep it as is.

And another natural law applies. Nothing in our universe ever stays as is. Everything in our universe is in a constant state of change.

It's either growing or it's dying. It's progressing or it's regressing. It's going forward or it's going back.

Now, we have made a tremendous amount of spiritual growth through the first nine steps if we've got the promises. But if we try to maintain this, eventually we start slipping back. And we start having trouble with people, then with our self, then with God, and we end up drunk all over again.

Now, how do I know that? I see it happen in AA over and over and over again. That's what happens when people like us who have had a good program go back and get drunk again.

It's because we stopped growing. And you can't stop growing. If you do, you start dying.

Let's look at the last three steps. And not as just maintenance steps, not just to keep us sober, but to see if we don't actually continue to grow in our relationship with God, with ourselves, and with another human with other human beings. Twice in the book, Bill has mentioned a fourth dimension of existence.

Once in his story, once in chapter two, a dimension of living far beyond the normal three. You can't explain it, you can't describe it, you can only feel it. And that's what the last three steps do.

Move us into another dimension of living. >> Let's look at them for just a few minutes. >> You know, one of the things that we did as a fellowship is we took the steps out of the book and we put them on these little cards, put them on the wall.

And if you look at step 10 on this card or on the wall, by the way, we left the instructions on how to work the steps in the book. People come in there and look on the wall and try to work the steps off the wall without instructions. And then when do they get in trouble?

The step 10 off the wall or this card says, "Continue to take personal inventory and when wrong, promptly admitted it." And it looked like if we just continued to take a little inventory and if we were wrong, promptly admitted it, we would be doing the intent of step 10. And somehow or other we got the idea that we do that at night. Well, the night time portion is over in step 11, it's not in step 10.

And Charlie and I have discussed this in great detail. We don't get in trouble at night in bed anymore. >> >> We need a daytime walking around step.

So, let's look at step 10 in a different light. So, this all brings us to step 10, which suggests that we continue to take personal inventory and continue to set right new any new mistakes as we go along. We vigorously commenced this way of living as we cleaned up the past.

We have entered the world of the spirit. >> We've had a spiritual awakening. >> Our next function is to grow >> to grow, not maintain, not stay where we are, but to grow >> in understanding and effectiveness.

Now, this is not an overnight matter. It should continue for our lifetime. Continue to watch for selfishness, dishonesty, resentment, and fear.

What step did we use to look at that in the first place? Anybody remember? Step four, okay.

And when these crop up, we ask God at once to remove them. What steps did we use there? Six and seven, all right.

We discuss them with someone immediately. And what step was that? Five, okay.

And make amends quickly if we've harmed anyone. What steps did we use there? Eight and nine.

Then we'd resolutely turn off our thoughts to someone we can help. Love and tolerance of others is our code. It looks to me like if we follow the directions in the book, that we will be doing steps four, five, six, seven, eight, and nine every day on a daily basis for the rest of our lives.

I would defy anybody in this room to do four, five, six, seven, eight, and nine on a daily basis and stay the way you are. You absolutely cannot do that. I've got that little inventory sheet right up here in my head, just as plain as day, and you do, too.

And what I've trained myself to do, if I get screwed up at 9:00 in the morning, used to, I'd wait till I went to bed at night to do something about it. Well, when I do that, I've wasted another day in anger and worry and depression and etc. I finally trained myself that when I get screwed up about 9:00, get over in the corner by myself.

Say, "Okay, Charlie, who are you mad at? What did they do to you? What part of self is affected?

What did you do, if anything, to set it in motion? Which character defect has come back to the surface? I can't get upset unless one of those old character defects has come back selfish, dishonest, self-seeking, frightened, or inconsiderate.

I I spot it in just just like that. I say, "Okay, God, you know I don't want to be this way. Please take this away from me, this selfishness or this dishonesty or whatever it is." I try to discuss it with someone immediately.

Preferably my sponsor. Sometimes I can, sometimes I can't, but I try to. Then I make amends quickly if I hurt anybody in this process.

10, 15, 20 minutes, it's all gone. The rest of the day is okay. I have wasted all the time that I want to waste in resentments and fear and anger and worry and depression and etc.

I don't have to do that anymore. My God, I love to feel good. I just don't want to waste any more time what little I've got left in that other kind of jazz.

I've got a tool here that works every time. And as you continue to take personal inventory, as you continue to look and see who you're mad at and etc. and etc.

and etc., you're going to learn more about yourself. As you ask God to take these things away, they become less and less. As you discuss them with another human being, preferably our sponsor, we know more about ourselves.

As we make amends quickly, our relationship with the world and everybody in it becomes better and better. You can't do step 10 the way the book says and stay the way you are. You just can't.

Your relationship with God, with yourself, and with your fellow man will become better and better and better and better. A new dimension of living that we never dreamed existed. Now, be careful.

This is just like six and seven. This is the other changing step. And if you stay fouled up, you can't blame it on anybody else any longer.

Cuz if you're fouled up and you use step 10, you can get rid of that stuff. But if you stay fouled up and stay angry and worried and depressed and selfish and dishonest, it's got to be because that's the way you want to be. I can't blame it on anybody or God or anything else any longer.

And once in a great while, I like to be screwed up. There's times I like to be mad. Cuz when I'm mad, I can romp and stomp and raise hell with everybody around me all day long.

And that gives me a comfortable feeling of superiority. And once in a while, I just love it. There's times I like to be afraid.

Cuz I can use that to rationalize and justify not doing what I should do or just as importantly doing something I shouldn't do. But when I do that anymore, I don't enjoy it like I used to. Somewhere about the middle of it, I catch myself.

And I say, "Okay, idiot. You're doing it to yourself again." This thing really does work, and you'll continue to grow. Now, after step 10, you got another set of promises.

Let's look Let's look at them for just a moment. >> It says, "Then we cease fighting anything or anyone, even alcohol. For by this time, sanity will have returned." Remember it said we came to believe that a power greater than ourselves would restore us to sanity?

Well, we get our sanity back on step 84 on page 84, by the way. For by this time, sanity will have returned. For we we will seldom be interested in liquor.

If tempted, we recoil from it as from a hot flame. We react sanely and normally in this We will find that this has happened automatically. We can see that our new attitude toward liquor has been given us without any thought or effort on our part.

It just comes. That's the miracle of it. We're not fighting it, neither are we avoiding temptation.

We feel as though we have been placed in a position of neutrality, safe and protected. We've not even sworn off. Instead, the problem has been removed.

It does not exist for us. We're neither cocky nor are we afraid. That is our experience.

That's how we react so long as we keep it in spiritual condition. And again, remember way back on page 45, it said that the main object of this book which enabled me to find the power greater than myself which would solve my problem. And somewhere between there and here, we have the first nine steps of 10 steps of the program of Alcoholics Anonymous.

And one day into six or seven or eight months of sobriety and working these steps, I looked up one day and I didn't I said, "What happened to that desire of drink that I used to have?" It's just gone. I mean, it was just gone seemingly without any effort on my part. I found the power and the power solved the problem.

It was just gone. That's the miracle of it. >> Now, the next to the last paragraph on page 85.

Much has already been said about receiving strength, inspiration, and direction, not suggestion, from him who has all knowledge and power. If we've carefully followed directions, not suggestions, we began to sense the flow of his spirit into us. To some extent, we become God-conscious.

We began to develop this vital sixth sense. But we must go further, and that means more action. In other words, what's happened to us in these steps of three through 10, we've removed enough self-will that we're now becoming God-conscious.

And by now, we're beginning to receive some directions from God. Now, if the book says that God has all power and all direction, and and I believe he does, the book says so. And it says God dwells within each of us, and I believe he does, the book says so.

Then it really stands to reason that you and I have within ourselves all the knowledge and all the power that we could ever need to handle any situation which comes up in the future. It's called a sixth sense of direction. I've got five senses.

Everything I know on a conscious level I learned from those. I can see and I can hear and I can smell and I can taste and I can touch. But what little bit I've learned through my five senses of direction is just a small amount of knowledge.

But if God has all knowledge and all power, if I can tap into him, then I can handle any situation in the future with God's help, whatever it might be. It's long been known we do that. You develop the sixth sense of direction through prayer and meditation.

Most of us we get here we we I didn't I didn't know anything about meditation. I thought meditation is when you tried to clear your mind of all thought. Well, I've never been able to do that.

When I wake up in the morning, that sucker turns on and it will not clear out. I thought maybe it was chanting, listening to soft music. That's probably some forms of meditation, but I know nothing about any of it.

I knew very little about prayer, even raised in church. I only knew two prayers. One went like this, "Now I lay me down to sleep.

I pray the Lord my soul to keep and if I die before I wake" I'm not into that prayer anymore. That's dealing with death and I don't want nothing to do with that. The other prayer that I used, and I bet you used it too, went like this, "God, if you get me out of this damn mess, I swear I'll never do this again." Now I'm going to have to develop a life of prayer and meditation, which seemed to be impossible, wouldn't it?

Bill Wilson is faced with a job of teaching people who are spiritually bankrupt how to pray and meditate and Bill Wilson don't know how to do it either. Thank God he didn't. Cuz if he had really been knowledgeable, he would written in such a manner that I could never have understood it.

But, he didn't know enough about it to be able to do that. What he did do is what he's done all the way through the book. He gives us some definite valuable suggestions.

And he said if we will use those in our lives today, we will develop our own life of prayer and meditation. He couldn't tell us how to pray and meditate, but he could tell us how to develop our own. He starts for just a few moments over on page 86.

He tells us what to do when we go to bed at night. Here it is now in step 11. >> He said, "When we retire at night, we constructively review our day.

Were we resentful, selfish, dishonest, or afraid?" >> I believe that's step four again, isn't it? >> "Do we owe an apology?" >> That must be steps eight and nine again. >> "Have we kept something to ourselves which should be discussed with another person at once?" >> I believe that's step five again.

>> "Were we kind and loving toward all? What could could we have done better? Were we thinking of ourselves most of the time, or were we thinking of what we could do for others, and what we could pack into the stream of life?

But, we must be careful not to drift into worry, remorse, or morbid reflection, for that would diminish our usefulness to others. After making our review, we ask God's forgiveness from quite what corrective measures must be taken or should be taken." >> steps six and seven again. So, what the book is really suggesting is when we go to bed at night, we sit down and kind of take another little inventory.

Step 10 was during the day when we're disturbed. Step 11's before we go to bed at night. We made up a little sheet here you could use.

You can use anything you want to. Main thing is is do we inventory or not? One side of the sheet, we took the basic character defects, selfish, self-seeking, dishonest, frightened, inconsideration.

We took all the other defects in the 12 and 12, which are the offshoots of those first four, put them on the left-hand side of the sheet and call them the personality characteristics of a self-will person. We tried to find the opposite and put them on the right-hand side of the sheet. Called that the personality characteristics of a God-will person.

Now, all we're trying to do is get from the left-hand side of the sheet to the right-hand side. And I can sit down at night with this little sheet and run down through it making a few check marks. That shows me where I've been that day.

Shows me what I need to continue to work on. Never do I find myself on either side of the sheet. The check marks change locations from time to time.

But I'm beginning to notice that I'm marking more of them on the right than I am on the left. And slowly over a period of time, we continue to become a different human being. Now, I've learned one thing about my sobriety.

I am going to inventory. I've got one or two choices. I can put it off and put it off and put it off and put it off until I'm so sick that I'm almost drunk.

And then I start trying to dig myself out from under that mess. Or I can take just a few minutes each day. And by doing it a few minutes each day, I keep myself in reasonably good condition.

And I'm in much less chance of drinking. I find that it takes less energy to do it on a daily basis than it does to wait till I'm almost drunk and then start trying to dig myself out from under it. A very definite, valuable suggestion.

Okay. The next paragraph tells us what to do in the morning when we get up. On awakening, let's think about the 24 hours ahead.

We consider our plans for the day before we begin. We ask God to direct our thinking, especially asking that it be divorced from self-pity, dishonest, or self-seeking motives. Under these conditions, we can employ our mental faculties faculties with assurance, for after all, God gave us brains to use.

Our thought life will be placed on a much higher plane when our thinking is cleared of wrong motives. Most of us get up in the morning, first thing we do is go to the bathroom. Uh one guy told me the first thing he did was get on the treadmill.

I said, "Man, you got a better bladder than I've got. I go to the bathroom first." Then we head for the kitchen. And we get a cup of coffee and maybe a little food and we feed the body.

We get the body taken care of, we go back to the bathroom again. And you ladies fix your hair and we men fix our beards or faces or whatever. And we get that part of us done, we go to the closet.

And we begin to pick out the clothes that's going to cover the body during the day. >> Got to make sure they match now. >> We've got to make sure they match, they're the right color.

We spend lots of time on our clothes. After we get the body all taken care of, we feed the cat or the dog. We start out the door.

We lock the door behind us. We don't want anybody to steal our junk. We go out to the car and we check there in the tires and we check the fuel in the fuel tank.

We turn the switch on, start the motor, and we take off down the road. But what did we do about our minds that morning? We took care of all the material things, including our body.

What did we do about our minds? Our minds are going to run the whole show all day. Did we check the air there?

Did we check the fuel level there? Did we feed the mind a little bit? If we would take 5 to 10 minutes in the morning to ask God to direct our thinking throughout the day, ask God to give us the right thought and action before we even start thinking about today, then chances are our thoughts about today are going to be in better shape.

If we spent 5 minutes in the morning there, couple with 5 minutes in the evening when we go to bed, there's no telling what we could do with our minds. If we spend as much time on our minds as we do on our bodies, my God, we could become anything, couldn't we? If you spent 5 in the morning and 5 in the evening, you've still got 23 hours and 50 minutes to screw the thing up.

Only takes a little bit of time, very definite value of suggestion. In thinking about our day, we may face indecision. We may not be able to determine which course to take.

Here we ask God for inspiration, intuitive thought or a decision. We relax and take it easy. We don't struggle.

This is a form of meditation for busy people. We alcoholics don't have time to lay down on the floor and listen to soft music. We don't have time for chanting and all that stuff.

We're busy people. The book says when you face indecision, you can't decide what to do, recognize you don't have the answer. Turn to God and ask God for the right thought or decision.

Don't struggle, relax and take it easy. I think what it means is get your mind off on something else. And the way I get my mind off on something else is I go start mowing the grass, painting the house or washing the dishes.

And quite often my mind goes back to that subject and I've got information I didn't have before. It says, "Why don't you call Bill? Maybe he'll know." And I called Bill, and Bill's got the answer.

I used to say, "My, wasn't it lucky I called Bill?" No. This is a form of tapping into the sixth sense of direction. And if you practice at it, practice at it, practice at it, practice at it, it gets to where it becomes a common thing to do.

It's amazing how this stuff works. Very simple suggestions. Page 87, first full paragraph down there toward the middle of the page, tells us how to pray.

>> See, we usually conclude the period of meditation with a prayer that we'd be shown all through the day what our next step is to be, that we be given whatever whatever we need to take care of such problems. We ask especially for freedom from self-will, and we're careful to make no requests for ourselves only. We may ask for ourselves, however, if others will be helped.

We're careful never to pray for our own selfish ends. Many of us have wasted a lot of time doing that, and it doesn't work. You can easily see why.

As I said, I used to use God like an errand boy, sending him out to get this done and get that done. It didn't work. He never did come back with nothing.

You know. But I I But I learned through doing that to start praying only for the knowledge of his will for me and the power to carry that out. And today, I can't think of anything that would be better than to have God's will done in my life.

Only. It'll be a whole lot better than anything I could ever dream of. Cuz as I said here today, I am in places today in many many areas of my life that you can't get to other than by God's grace.

It cannot be done. You know, I was practicing this thing around, and one day I was listening to the radio, and I heard a song that I heard all my life. And it talks about having a plan of inspiration.

And I heard this song all my life. It's called In the Garden. You You You all know that song?

And it came to me. I said, "Well, that's a song about prayer and meditation, isn't it? In the morning, while the dew is still on the roses." That's about prayer and meditation.

And I didn't know that. It just came to me. And I can read these things, and I can see see these things today, and I know what they mean.

I mean, I really do know what they mean. I don't know where that came from, either. Certainly wasn't anything from me.

I think it's God working in my life. I believe that. >> They said to me, "Pray only for knowledge of his will and the power to carry that out." I said, "How in the hell's he going to know what I want?" And they said, "He don't care what you want." They said, "He's interested in what you need.

And he knows more about what you need than you know yourself." And that's turned out to be exactly true. If I had written a list of things that I thought I needed when I first came to AA, if I'd have said, "God, give me these things and I will be satisfied for the rest of my life," I would have cheated myself. God has given me things far, far, far beyond my dreams could possibly be when I first came to AA.

Absolutely amazing. The things that take place in our life by simply simply trying to follow God's will. People who have been self-willed like us, who have literally destroyed ourselves on self-will, we don't need to be telling God what we want.

God knows what we need. And if we do his will, he's going to see that we get it. You know, who could ever have dreamed, years and years ago, we could be sitting in this room today doing what we're doing?

A week ago, we were in Reykjavik, Iceland. The place I'd wanted to visit all my life. And by golly, I got to tour Iceland.

Hell, I'm 69 years old now before I got to do it, but I finally got to do it. I couldn't have done that if I'd been drinking. Year or two ago, I got to go through the channel under the English Channel.

I read something in a magazine when I was a kid about 9 years old. It said sooner or later the English and the French would build that thing. I said then if they ever build it, I'm going to go through it.

Finally, finally, I got to go through the channel and ride that damn channel train doing 200 miles an hour. Yeah, 60 years I dreamed that dream. Finally got to do it.

Oh, yeah. God knows what we need. He not interested in what we want.

Page 87. >> Say that for a circumstance what we >> Go ahead, Joe. >> We asked her why is it our friends that join us in morning meditation?

About 15 years ago, we were sitting in my living room, my wife over there in her chair and me and mine and I'm reading my prayer and meditation stuff and she's reading her prayer and meditation stuff and she looked over and said, "Joe, would you uh" Oh, she said, "Honey." That's what she said. >> Yeah. >> And I said, "I'm not not not ready for that this morning." She said, "Oh, no, you old silly thing." She said, "I want you to read this for me and tell me what it says." I said, "Well, I can do that." So, I read that for and I told her what she what it said and I told her a lot more than she wanted to know about it.

And the next morning she said, "Would you read this and tell me what this says?" And I did and we discussed that a little bit. And that kind of set up a little deal in our house of praying together and sharing together and I we hadn't done that before. And I've heard all my life those people that pray together stay together.

>> Joe, how long has it been since you and Phyllis have had a divorce? >> It's been 21 years. >> >> Yeah.

And I don't ever thought about that. She come up with that. >> Yeah.

Bottom of page 87. As we go through the day, we pause when agitated or doubtful and ask for the right thought or action. We constantly remind ourselves we're no longer running the show.

Humbly saying to ourselves many times each day thy will be done. We are then in much less danger of excitement, fear, anger, worry, self-pity, or foolish decisions. We become much more efficient.

We do not tire so easily. For we're not burning up energy foolishly did when we were trying to arrange life to suit ourselves. It works.

It really does. That's the full paragraph right there. We alcoholics are undisciplined, so we let God discipline us in the simple way we just outlined.

If you'll follow these definite and valuable suggestions on page 86 87, you will develop your own life of prayer and meditation. You'll make your conscious contact. You'll be able to tap into that sixth sense of direction.

And it's amazing the things that we can learn by doing that. Okay, we're going to talk now just a little bit about step 12 and then we'll be done. >> >> We don't want to go through this next chapter.

We don't have the time, but I do want to look at two or three things that it very briefly. Let's go to page 92. >> >> Now, this is telling us how to work with other people.

How to do our 12-step call. How to sponsor and etc. The first paragraph says, "Tell it Tell him how baffled you were.

How you finally learned that you were sick. Give him an account of the struggles you made to stop. Show him the mental twist which leads to the first drink of a spree.

We suggest you do this as we've done it in the chapter on alcoholism. If he was alcoholic, he will understand you at once. See, this is what Silkworth told Bill to do.

He will match your mental inconsistency with some of his own. If you're satisfied that he's a real alcoholic, begin to dwell on the hopeless feature of the malady. Show him from your own experience how the queer mental condition surrounding that first drink prevents normal functioning of the willpower.

In other words, we share our story. And we show him our allergy, our obsession of the mind, our hopeless condition of the mind and body, and if he's a real alcoholic, he'll match it immediately. We get his attention that way.

We tell him exactly what's wrong with him. Page 93. Let him ask you that question if he will.

Tell him exactly what happened to you. Stress the spiritual feature freely. If the man be agnostic or atheist, make it emphatic.

He does not have to agree with your conception of God. He can use any conception he likes provided it makes sense to him. The main thing is that he be willing to believe in a power greater than himself, and that he live by spiritual principles in sharing our story and telling him what happened.

Then we get the idea of the need for the spiritual experience across to him. After we got his attention by talking about the problem. Page 94.

Outline the program of action. Explaining how you made a self-appraisal, how you straightened out your past, and why you are now endeavoring to be helpful to him. Talk to him about the program of action.

Take him by the hand and walk with him through the program of action. You see, it's suggesting here that we do the same thing the first 100 did. It's suggesting here we do the same thing the big book does.

You see, the big book was the 12th step in print. They could not go call on that person individually. So, the book had to tell him the problem, tell him the solution, show him the program of action.

Now, it's just as valid today working with other alcoholics as it was in 1939. We need to have no question about how to 12 step. We need to have no question about how to sponsor.

This chapter tells us exactly how to do it. And I said to my sponsor one time, I said, "I I'm afraid to to work with another person. I'm afraid I'll hurt them." And he said, "Charlie, you can't hurt them." He said, "They're going to die from alcoholism anyhow.

There's no way you can hurt them, and you might help yourself." So, if you're not working with others yet, for God's sake, start. The 12th step has three pieces in it, very briefly. The first part is the greatest promise in the book.

Having had a spiritual awakening as a result of these steps. I think that promise is to me that if I apply the first 11 steps in my life to the best of my ability, I will have a spiritual awakening. Now, what is a spiritual awakening?

A personality change sufficient to recover from alcoholism. Bill tells us in the 12 and 12 there's many kinds of spiritual awakenings as there are people in AA, but they've all got certain things in common. That is that we're able to feel, believe, and do things we could never do before on our own strength unaided.

I feel things I've never felt before. I feel love, patience, tolerance, compassion, and goodwill toward my fellow man. Before AA, I could have cared less about you.

Oh yeah, you could have some, but I always got mine first. I don't feel that way anymore. I believe things I've never believed before.

I believe God is a kind and a loving God. I believe he stands ready to help any human being anywhere in the world the instant they're ready to give up on self-will and turn to him. When I came here, I thought he was hell, fire, and brimstone.

I thought he was a god of justice. Thank God he's not a god of justice. If he was, I wouldn't be here today, would I?

Some of you guys wouldn't be here if he was. Surely, surely he's pure mercy, pure love. Believe that with all my heart.

I can do things I never could do before. By God, I can stay sober. I never could do that before.

And because of the fact I'm sober, I'm allowed to do many, many, many, many things that I never dreamed that I could ever do. Like being here. Going to Iceland.

Riding under the channel and going to Paris, France. Things that I I never could do before. So, surely I've had some kind of spiritual awakening.

Now, I'm charged though with the responsibility. There really are no free rides. You do have to pay for what you receive.

I'm now charged with the responsibility of carrying this message to other alcoholics. Not a message, not the message, not some message, this message. What is this message?

Having had a spiritual awakening as a result of these steps. I'm not like I used to be. Now, if you are in AA today and you're all screwed up and you don't feel good.

If you've been doing a little drinking or even thinking about doing a little drinking. I know exactly where you're coming from. That's where I came from, too.

But I applied these first 11 steps and I had a spiritual awakening and I'm not that way anymore. And if you don't want to be that way anymore, then you apply the first 11 steps and you won't be that way anymore, either. Cuz you'll have a spiritual awakening.

It's the only message that AA has got. Some of us start fancying ourselves as healers. Marital advisors, spiritual advisors, economic advisors.

God, I don't know of anybody that screwed those things up worse than we have. No. We just know one thing.

And let me tell you something. The one thing we know, we know it better than anybody alive. You and I know more about alcoholism than anybody alive.

We're the only people that's ever experienced it. We know more about recovery from alcoholism than anybody alive. We're the only people that's ever done it.

I think we're the luckiest people in the world. I think surely, surely, surely God got tired of seeing people like us die back in the 1930s. I think he decided to do something about it, and he's always worked with people through people.

I believe he picked Bill and Bob, the first 100. I think he picked Abby Thatcher and Dr. Jung and Dr.

Silkworth and the Oxford Groupers and that whole bunch and put it together. So, we could have it today. Now, if that's true and he picked people then, then we've got to realize that all those people are dead and gone.

They're no longer here. If he picked them then, then surely he's still picking them today. There's not an alcoholic in this room that ought to be here.

Every one of us ought to be dead. Some of us two or three times. And we said, "My, weren't we lucky last night?" I don't think luck had anything to do with it.

I think God picked you out. Let you suffer your alcoholism so you would learn what he wants you to know. And then when he got ready to use you, he removed the obsession to drink.

That's the only reason we're here today. To be able to help other alcoholics. They tell me that 97 out of 100 of us are going to die never even knowing we're alcoholic.

If that's true, 3% of us are stumbling in the doors of AA. Less than half of us are recovering. We're talking about one out of 100.

I used to say, "God, why am I an alcoholic?" Today I say, "God, why am I not one of those dying from alcoholism?" He's got a job for me. He's got a job for you. And it's only when you fit into God's plan for you that you really become happy.

I think every human being on Earth today, God's got a certain purpose for them. And I think ours is to carry this message of recovery to other alcoholics. We have the ability to avert death in countless thousands and thousands of people.

Very few people have that opportunity. Carrying this message is very simple. Just do it like the book says to do it.

And it always works for those that want it. If they don't want it, we can't do a thing about that. The final thing I have to do is practice these principles in all my affairs.

Now, what are the principles? Oh, we hear arguments about this all the time. The principle of one is this, and the principle of the one two is that, and the prin- No, no, I think he's referring to the steps.

He said having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, he already used steps once in the step 12, so he's not going to use it twice. So, this time he'll call them principles. Another place he calls them proposals.

In the front of the 12 and 12, he says the 12 steps of Alcoholics Anonymous are a set of principles. He's referring to the steps. Now, it's easy for me to practice the 12 steps of Alcoholics Anonymous in AA.

I love you. I hope you love me. And we're going to do our best not to hurt each other.

But I'm only in AA at the most an average of an hour a day. What do I do the other 23 hours? Can I practice these principles, these steps in my home with my spouse?

Can I realize just how powerless I really am with that lady? Can I realize the insanity of trying to control her knowing full well I can't? Can I make a decision to turn her will and her life over to care of God as I understand it?

Can I inventory me and find those defects of character that keep me trying to control? Can I talk about that to another human being? Can I become willing to have God remove and ask him to do so and take those away?

Can I make amends to her quickly when I've harmed her? Now, there's times I'm ashamed to me. There's times I treat absolute strangers on the street with more courtesy than I treat my own wife in my own home.

Just think, if I could practice these principles there with her and she with me, well, we might pick up 10, 12 hours a day where we could be peaceful, happy, and free in our home. If we don't practice them, we don't stand a chance with each other's throat continually. Can I practice them with my children?

If I can do this with my children, what little time I have left with them is good times. If I don't, I try to control, they resist, we have no good times at all. I might pick up another hour or two or three a day there.

Can I do it on the job with my co-workers? And if I could do it on the job with my co-workers, well, I might be peaceful, happy, and free there for eight or nine or 10 hours a day. Aren't we really saying that we have a set of tools that if we practice them in all our affairs, we can be peaceful, happy, free, and serene 24 hours a day, 365 days a year if we wish to.

My sponsor used to say, "Charlie, you can be just as happy as you want to be." And I'd say, "You old fart, you have no idea what you're talking about." Today I hear myself saying, "You can be just as happy as you want to be." You got the tools to do it with. Now, make no mistake. God is not going to do this for you.

Other people are not going to do this for you. But you, with God's help and the help of other people, can do it for yourself. I think we're the luckiest people in the world.

I really do, Joe. >> And where does all this stuff come from? Well, it comes from the best of medicine, psychology, and religion.

And there's a story in that other book about this fellow and he was walking around practicing these principles and carrying this message. And one night he told the people there, he said, "The things that I do, you can do also and even greater." Well, a couple of guys heard this and they went back to the little village and they had a sick friend there. They brought him to the meeting the next night.

Now, I'd like to think they were alcoholics cuz they went up on the roof and they chopped a hole in the roof and they let the guy down in there. And he looked at that guy and he looked up at them and he said, "Well, it's by your faith that this man was healed." See, it was by the faith of the people in the fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous when I I arrived that I was able to hang around till I could come to believe, so that I could come to take some decisions, so that I too could come to have faith. The fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous is extremely important to me.

It was by their faith for me. Later on, he was in a little town called Sernan. And after the meeting that night and he was leading the meeting or speaking at the meeting and after the meeting that night, they were standing around smoking cigarettes and drinking wine, I guess, or coffee or whatever they were doing.

And they were talking. And they told him a fellow they had locked in a cave on the side of the hill. Now, this might have been the first treatment center, I don't know.

And he said, "I want to go up and talk to this guy." He said, "No, you don't want to talk to this guy. This guy is full of resentments and he's full of fear. He's harmed a lot of people.

We've got him chained to the wall up there so he won't harm himself or other people. You don't want to go up and talk to him." He said, "Yeah, I do." He said, "What's his name?" He said, "His name is legions, for he is many." Many defects of character, you see. So, he went up there and talked to this guy for a little while and turn him loose.

Cut loose of his resentment, cut loose of his fear, cut cut loose of his guilt, shame, remorse, and set him free. Now, he wrote a little step for us right here. Cuz the other people that he'd helped, those other 12 guys he'd helped, he took them with him.

And Legion wanted to go with him. He said, "Can I go with you and do what you do?" And he said, "No, Legion." He said, "I want you to stay here and tell people what happened to you." >> I think they call it pass it on is what Bill Wilson said. Barb- Is Barbara in the room?

Barbara, you here? Where are you, hon? Yeah, stand up.

I want y'all to meet Barbara in case you haven't got to meet her. You can tell by looking at her why I'm in love with her. She's red-headed.

>> Okay, let's go to page 164. Said, "Our book is meant to be suggestive only. We realize we know only a little.

God will constantly disclose more to you and to us. Ask him in your morning meditation what you can do each day for the man who's still sick. The answers will come if your own house is in order.

But obviously, you cannot transmit something you haven't got. See to it that your relationship with him is right. That's the only relationship this book talks about, by the way.

See to it that his that your relationship with him is right and great events will come to pass for you and countless others. This is a great fact for us. Abandon yourself to God as you understand God.

>> We did that in steps 1, 2, and 3. >> Admit your faults to him and to your fellows. >> We did that in 4, 5, 6, and 7.

>> Clear away the wreckage of your past. >> that in 8 and 9. >> And give freely what you find and join us.

>> that in 10, 11, and 12. >> And we shall be with you in the fellowship of the spirit, and you will surely meet some of us as you tread the road of happy destiny. May God bless you and keep you until then.

land. >> Thank you very much. you all.

Thanks for letting us be here. >> Thank you for listening to Sober Sunrise. If you enjoyed today's episode, please give it a thumbs up as it will help share the message.

Until next time, have a great day. >>