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Whether you join us in the morning or at night, there's nothing better than a sober sunrise. We hope that you enjoy today's speaker. >> You want me to sit here?

You want me to leave? >> You can stay. >> My name's Mark.

I'm an alcoholic. >> I love Alcoholics Anonymous. Alcoholics Anonymous has given me everything that I have today.

Every single thing I have in my life today is a direct result of coming to Alcoholics Anonymous April 10th, 1988. I came to a meeting of Alcoholics Anonymous and the people in Alcoholics Anonymous welcome me with open arms. I hadn't been welcomed with open arms for many a year.

For many a year. Ain't Papy a piece? I love guys that say, you know, you know, you know.

I just love guys like that. Papy and Richie remind me of a couple of guys I worked for in the north end of Boston. And it was a wonderful, wonderful time in my life.

They were the kind of guys that paid you with a handful of $100 bills. And you only had to work a short time, too. My home group is a miracle group in Fort Walton Beach.

Uh it's a group that believes in the book Alcoholics Anonymous. It believes in the solution that Alcoholics Anonymous has to offer. Bill Wilson in some of his early writings in one of the pamphlets I know of, he wrote, "The sole purpose of an AA group is the practice and teaching of the 12 steps." And that's what we do in our home group.

I'm I'm proud to be a member of that group. Like my wife told you today, we get there early and we read from the book Alcoholics Anonymous. Then we break and we greet people when they get there and it's a fun festive occasion.

Then we have a meeting that comes out of the book Alcoholics Anonymous. Uh we don't allow for burning desires. If your group does, that's fine.

But uh I'm extremely grateful for that because in 1968 I had a burning desire in Southeast Asia and it took 10 shots of penicellin to get rid of it. Very painful. Very, very painful.

Uh, I'd like to thank the committee for asking me to come over here. I'd like like to thank my friend Lee. Um, those of you that know me know that, uh, for the past 4 months, I've pretty much been flat on my back.

Uh, March 30th, I fell off a ladder and shattered my leg and my ankle. And I've had to cancel some commitments and, uh, it's just been a a very very um trying four months. Uh it's been it's been I I've had a lot of spiritual growth in the four months.

Uh some things that have happened to me. Uh probably wouldn't have happened to me if that didn't happen. Uh but most of all uh my wife uh bond grow has grown so tight over these four months.

Uh you know before I got to Alcoholics Anonymous I could never depend on anybody for anything. You know I couldn't even depend on myself. And since I've been an Alcoholics Anonymous and I've completely given myself to this simple program, I've found people that trust me and respect me and honor me and I'm able to do that for them.

And what a blessing that is. What a blessing that is for a drunk like me. I got to tell you, Lee and John um have been a big part of my life.

I met Lee uh 3 4 years ago over in Tulsa and Mari was at the same weekend and she was a speaker that weekend and she hobbled up to the uh podium with a cane. Uh she had had a um I think it was a hip replacement. I'm not exactly sure, but she had some problems with her leg.

and she was there and she she gave a beautiful spiritual talk that weekend and Lee talked that weekend and and uh you know I met Lee I said I asked him if he'd have breakfast with me and we met that morning and we talked and our friendship has grown ever since. Uh you know the people that I've met in Alcoholics Anonymous that uh are eyeball people you know the ones that look into your eyes you know they're not looking down to their feet. I talked to those people and I gained tremendous insight.

the people that got here before me and the people that come after me, but the people that got here before me have taught me so, so much. Uh, like I said, my wife is a huge part of my life. My wife spoke this afternoon and uh because Mari had to cancel and she felt bad about it, but we talked to her on the way over here.

I called her up in Toronto and we talked and and and she's feeling better, but she has a hard time speaking. She has a hard time breathing and uh she's got some things that um she's got to take care of. And she said, "You know, Mark, she she talks with that Scottish accent and I love it.

I love it." She said, "I've never cancelled, but I had to. I believe God wants someone else to speak this weekend." And uh I said, "Guess who, Mari?" And she said, "Dalty." And I said, "Yeah." and my wife. I mean, God, I listened to her today and I watched it today and I just she's the best speaker that I've ever heard in Alcoholics Anonymous.

I I may be a little bit prejudice, but I got to tell you, uh, this is my wife, Dulky. Will you stand up, honey? Keep your clothes on.

She's just a beautiful, beautiful human being. and uh she gave me this bear tooth uh when we first started going together in Alcoholics Anonymous. I don't have a tie on tonight.

Sometimes I can wear a tie, sometimes I can't. With no disrespect to Alcoholics Anonymous, if I could, I would. In 1976, I was involved in a prison riot and I caught a blackjack right across the throat and it almost crushed my uh this little member in here.

And sometimes I put the tie on and I sound like Tiny Tim. And uh you know, I know you don't want to be listening to Tiny Tim tonight tiptoe through the two of them. So uh I'm just here to tell you in a general way what I was like, what happened, and what I'm like today.

And uh what I got to tell you is I'm I'm no big shot in Alcoholics Anonymous. I'm a Garden Variety drunk who came to Alcoholics Anonymous. Uh was given the gift of sobriety and I believe that gift came from God.

April 10th, 1988. What happened for me was I went to my first meeting and I listened to people and I was petrified. That fear that they talk about in the fourth step, that evil and corroding thread, I was wrapped through it through my existence.

And when I didn't have something in me, I couldn't look at you. I couldn't talk to you. I was full of fear.

And what happened for me was I came to Alcoholics Anonymous for a year and a half like that from a psychiatric hospital in Northampton, Massachusetts. My favorite time at that hospital was medication time. And I came to meetings like that for a year and a half.

And guess what? Nobody threw me out. They told me, "Keep coming back, Mark." They said, "You might want to try to cut down on the pill intake.

It might help you, but if the doctors tell you you need them, take them." See, I was taking the doctor's medication, your medication, somebody else's medication. I just needed to get through the day. And I used to come to meetings and I would sit there and people would share and they would talk about fear and loneliness and desperation and I'd be the life of the party.

Fear. What are you people talking about? This is wonderful.

This is beautiful. With about eight Xanax in me, four or five perkadan. I was looking good.

You know what I'm saying? What happened for me was I came to Alcoholics Anonymous for a year and a half like that. I wound up going up to High Watch Farm in Kent, Connecticut.

It's the farm they talk about in the book Alcoholics Anonymous. Tom ran the farm at that time. I headed up to High Watch with my big book, a bottle of Perkadan and a bottle of Alium.

I just had to get through a weekend. What happened at High Watch Farm was I sounded really good, I guess, cuz they asked me to chair the Saturday night meeting. And I get up to start to chair the Saturday night meeting and I must have not got the combination right because my words started going left and right.

and my tongue started hanging out and and the meeting ended and I walked outside and I took a leak all over the wall and Tom called me in Sunday morning. He said, "Mark, we have a problem." I said, "What is it, Tom?" He said, "Last night you left the meeting and you took a leak on the wall." I said, "Tom, it wasn't me." He said, "A bunch of people saw you, Mark." I said, "Oh, it must have been that injury from Vietnam." And he said, "Okay, Mark." He said, "We did a wound search, Mark." And I said, "Yeah, Tom." And he said, "We found a bottle of Perkin and a bottle of Valium." I said, "They're not mine, Tom." He says, "Mark, your name's on the bottle." I said, "It's the Quinsey police. They've been trying to get me for years, Tom.

They planted them." He didn't buy it. That was on Sunday. Monday night, the next night after being thrown out of High Watch Farm, I went to the East Hampton Monday night meeting.

Jean from the Lello group got up and shared her experience, strength, and hope. Jean talked about being just like me. I identified with Jean.

I had been sitting in meetings for a year and a half, but I identified with Jean on the outside. We had nothing in common. Jean was a housewife.

I was a homeless veteran. Jean had children. I had never had any children.

She had a beautiful home with a white picket fence. I didn't have it. I was living in a VA hospital.

She had a car. I hadn't had a car for years. Nothing on the outside.

But what Jean talked about was fear and loneliness. And I know it was God's grace because I identified with Jean. I identified with the desperation.

Something happened inside me. Those of you that have happened to know what I'm talking about. I believe God came down and touched me, blessed me with the gift of desperation.

I went back to the VA hospital that night, got on my knees in a corner, and did what Jean said she did. I said, "If you're out there, please help me. Please, please help me because I don't know.

I can't do this. I just can't do it. I'm gonna die." The next morning, I get up and I didn't go to the medication line.

My brother Pete came up and picked me up for a meeting of Alcoholics Anonymous. And from that day to this, I have not had a drink or a substitute. It's God's grace that I'm here.

It's God's grace that I'm sober. The following Wednesday night, I went to the Wednesday night step meeting in East in U Holio. And I had been going to that meeting for a year and a half.

There was a guy in that meeting I hated cuz he was just like me. He had the same past, but he was a sober member of Alcoholics Anonymous. And at the end of that meeting, Donnie would look at me and he would say, "Mark, remember God loves you." And that was the man I asked to be my sponsor.

And I went over and I talked to Donnie. And I said, "Donnie, Donnie, I'm dying, man. This thing's eating me up.

I'm going to die an alcoholic death, and I don't want to. I hate who I am. I'm a useless piece of scum." And Donnie, in his infinite wisdom, smiled.

And he said, "That's great news, Mark." And he said, "Mark, I'm going to ask you to do some things that you're not going to be able to do, but with my help and God's help, you'll be able to do them." And what Donnie did was he sat me down. He asked me if I was alcoholic. I said, "Yes, I am, Donnie.

I'm alcoholic as anybody you'll be." He said, "Maky, you're willing to do some things." I said, "I'll do whatever it takes, Donnie." He said, "I want you to get on your knees in the morning and ask a power greater than yourself for help, and I want you to thank that power at night." I said, "I'll do it, Donnie." He said, "I want you to go to a meeting every day, and I want you to thank the chairperson, and I want you to thank the speakers after the meeting." I said, "I'll do it." He said, "I want you to talk to the people I tell you to talk to." I said, "I'll do it." He said, "Most importantly in your case, Mark, I want you to shut your mouth." I said, "I'll do it, Donnie." And he looked at me and he said, "Mark, I've heard you share in meetings and I don't want you spreading your illness anymore." And I was extremely grateful for that bit of ad advice because I went to Alcoholics Anonymous and I kept my mouth shut and I le listen to people. And that was the beginning for me. the beginning.

See, when Don P told me a while back, this is a spiritual program, I started to understand that. And when he told me, "It's not an intellectual exercise, Mark. It's a spiritual journey." And I understood that.

And I love Don for the teachings that he taught me. And those of you that know him know he passed this year. And and uh it was right after I broke my ankle.

My wife and I had tickets to go out to the memorial service, but I wasn't able to attend it. and his wife Jackie sent me CDs at the memorial service and we talked to her on a regular basis and she's doing good. Don taught me that I'm a spiritual being having a human experience and I've come to understand that more and more over the years.

What a great deal that is for a drunk like me. What a great deal it is. I grew up in Quinsey, Massachusetts.

Two older brothers, two younger sisters. My father was a Second World War veteran. Landed Omaha Beach D-Day.

Great, great man. Wonderful man. Alcoholic.

He'll tell you he's alcoholic. He loved to drink. It was an exciting household.

I can remember waking up one beautiful sunny morning looking out onto the porch. Great big woman, 300 lb, long red hay, flowing white negligé, playing the accordion, drinking vodka. I told you that evil and corroding thread paralyzed me.

I yelled to my mother, "Ma, there's a big woman on the porch playing the accordion drinking vodka." She said, "Don't worry about it, Mark. It's your uncle's wife. They're here in the honeymoon." You know, like I told you, exciting.

You know, she would get drunk and play the accordion parade through the house. My father would throw shoes. It was It was a great place to grow up.

My brother Pete, my brother Pete that brought me to Alcoholics Anonymous. Uh he's alcoholic. He's 13 years sober today in a prison up in Massachusetts.

Uh this month he'll be 13 years sober. Uh what my brother Pete did for me as a young boy. He taught me some things.

And my brother Pete liked to drink. So he used to take me down to the local car dealership. We went out to my father's car.

My brother Pete showed me how to take radios out of cars. I thought it was on the job training to be a mechanic or a technician someday. He brought me down to the local dealership, jimmied me over the fence, told me to take the radios out, pass them to him, and then I'd come back over the fence.

He said, "If the cops ever show up, just tell them you're lost. You wandered in here and they take you home." I grew up watching Humphrey Bogat and Jimmy Cagney. So, you know, one day I got busted.

You know, they grabbed me and they brought me down to Quinsey Police Station, said, "Hey, kid, who's putting you up to this?" And I, you know, I was like, "Jimmy, you know, nah, none of your business." you know, I was a real wise guy as a young boy, you know, and they kept on me and kept on me. After about an hour, the cop says to me, "Hey, Mark, what kind of ice cream do you like?" I said, "Oh, man. I love a hot fudge sundae.

Vanilla ice cream, whipped cream, hot fudge, a sprinkling of nuts every now and then. I just love them." He said, "We'll go get you one if you tell us who put you up to this." I said, "My brother Pete." You know, I give him up in a hot New York second. You know, he likely beat me to death when they got when he got home from jail.

My brother Pete is a hero to me. He's a um I love my brother Pete. He showed me some wonderful things and he showed me some things that I shouldn't do.

My brother Pete's the guy that brought me to my first meeting of Alcoholics Anonymous. Uh but what happened is I went I picked up my first drink when I was 14 years old. Me and three other kids field the middle of the winter.

Uh you know, a pine of blackberry brandy. I can remember it like it was yesterday. We had a barrel with a fire going.

Marty took a drink, drank a little. Paul drank some of it. Hit my lips and I started guzzling it.

I can remember the burning sensation hitting my gut. The fire going off. I had that spiritual awakening.

I tell you what happened for me. It was a spiritual experience. I was enlightened.

I pissed my pants. I get into a fight that night and I couldn't wait to do it again. All that fear and loneliness inside me disappeared.

I went to school on Monday. They told me what a wonderful time it was at the dance. I couldn't remember any of it.

I had my first blackout. Um, you know, that's how I drank. I played football in high school.

I was a pretty good football player, so I just drank on the weekends. I believe I was alcoholic from Jump Street. I had had drinks of my father's beer before that.

But that night, I had arrived. Like Bill talks about in his story, I was there, man. I felt right.

I felt right with the world. There was no fear. I could do or be whoever I wanted to be.

So I thought and I had a lot of fun with alcohol for a lot of years. High school, I played football. My senior year, I was electing captain of the football team.

The second to last game of the year, I broke my left leg. I was talking with Ed before the meeting and and uh you know we were talking I I I busted my ankle pretty bad and when I was in high school I wound up breaking my leg and I had an opportunity to go on to college and u those dreams were taken from me right then and there but I learned a wonderful thing. When bad things happen to you people feel sorry for you and they'll do things that they normally don't do.

I was always a C student. My senior year with that cast on my left leg. Teachers were coming over and tutoring me.

I got on the honor roll. You know, the kids were bringing me over nips. People were bringing me cans of beer.

My mother didn't mind me drinking. Heck, I was in good shape. The end of the year, I went out to Squall Rock where we had our had our parties.

That's where we had the beer bashes. A fight broke out. I got right in the middle of it.

I found out that I'm a violent drunk. I wound up fracturing a kid's skull with my crutch. I promise you that won't happen tonight.

Uh, and uh, 3 months later, I wound up in front of a judge. I wound up in front of a judge at the Quinsey District Court, and that judge told me I could either volunteer to go in the service or or I could go to jail. Uh, at that time, the Vietnam War was going on on, and the Army recruiter was in the courtroom.

Uh, I opted for the Army. It was a very, very simple decision. They gave me a delayed entry.

I was going to go in two months later when my leg healed up. I was at a beer bash a couple of weeks later and I talked six of my friends into coming in in the buddy plan. Uh alcoholics got the gift, don't they?

I talked six of them into coming in the buddy plan. Some of those guys still got resentments today, but that's okay, you know. That's okay.

Uh wound up down in Fort Dicks, New Jersey. Great place to be. I was physically fit.

I excelled in basic training. Uh you know, I made it through basic training with no problems. I didn't drink while I was in basic training.

I was a good troop. I wound up down at Fort Belvo, Virginia, right outside of Washington DC, mid60s. Great place to be in Georgetown at night drinking with the troops back learning how to be a radio operator during the day.

I found a lot of my mentors in that school. I had a my best friend at that time. We had 14 years in the service and he was a PFC.

And what he did was he taught me about the morning drink. I went to him one morning and I said, "God, I got a vicious headache. What is it?

What is it?" He said, "Oh, that's a hangover. Just take four fingers of this and you'll be all right." He pulled me four fingers of Jack Daniels. I shot it down and I was fine.

I was fine. I wanted to make the military my career. I really did.

It was a wonderful place to be. The camaraderie, the fellowship, it was just great. I craved that my whole life.

I craved that. Um, what happened was they sent me over to Germany. I could have spent the next 3 years of my service time in H Highidleberg, Germany.

Patton Barracks, a beautiful place to be right in downtown H Highleberg. We would go into H Highleberg at night and drink and then go back to the barracks and I'd be a radio operator during the day. I traveled around Europe with a rifle team and what what we did was we went to different spots in Europe and they would put on a show and I would just take care of the communications for them.

uh traveled all over Europe and the only reason I know that is because it's on my discharge papers. Like I tell you, I was a blackout drinker. I don't remember any of it.

People pay thousands of dollars to see that stuff, but I didn't catch any of it. New Year's Eve came along in a little halfbrow in downtown H Highleberg drinking peppermint schnops and beers. It was just wonderful.

A fight broke out. You know what do you do when a fight breaks out? you get in the middle of it.

And I got in the middle of it. There were chairs flying. It was something like you saw on TV.

It was wonderful. Someone yelled M keys and I ran out the back door and I ran around front. Me and my buddy from San Anton, Texas.

Ran around front. There was a Jeep sitting there. We jumped in it and headed back to the barracks.

We got to the front gate and they whistled us right through. It had a siren and a blue light on top of it. And they whistled us right through and I flew through and I saw the football field out of the corner of my eye.

I must have been feeling a little nostalgic. I wound up circling the football field twice and I ran into the goalpost. The next morning, the company commander called me in.

He said, "Mark, we have a problem." I said, "What is it, sir?" He said, "Last night you stole the jeep and you ran into the goalpost." I said, "It wasn't me." He said, "50 guys saw you." I said, "Sir, it wasn't me." He said, "How you get all the scratches?" I don't know. I think I rolled out of bed. Someone kicked me.

I don't know what happened. Um, he was a real good man. He really was.

And he gave me an option. He said, "I can either court marshall you or I can ask you if you want a 1049 to Vietnam. Volunteer to go to Vietnam." A lot of guys were dying over there at that time.

It was the mid60s. And I said, "I'll go to Vietnam." Me and my buddy headed out from Germany to go back to Boston. We were going to spend two weeks in Boston and two weeks down in San Anton and just have a party.

You know, I was engaged to a young girl that I had met in high school. We were going to get married. I got home.

I spent two weeks in Boston. I don't think I saw her, but I had a great time drinking with the guys, you know. Headed down to San Anton.

Always wanted to see the Alamo. Never made it. Saw some great bars in San Antonio.

In the mid60, they had sawdust on a lot of the floors. What a place to fight. You know, you could get knocked down to the floor, you could scrap around, and you didn't get all cut up from the cement and stuff, you know.

It was it was really it was really wonderful. And we wound up heading out to Travis Air Force Base. That's where we were shipping the Vietnam from.

And you know, we get out to Travis and they gave us numbers and there was a storm in the Pacific. They told us, "Will you go to the EM club to get a drink?" And put us in great big cattle cars and sent us over to the club. And you know, I went over to the club and I had one drink and I had another drink and I had to have another drink.

And by the time I got back to the hanger, I was drunk. Uh, great. I mean, this thing was huge.

Twice the size of this room. And and just rows and rows of bunks. Somehow I Well, I know how I found my bunk.

An MP escorted me to my bunk. I jumped up on my bunk and I had rolled my mattress during the day and I didn't bother rolling it back. And sometime in the middle of the night, the guy underneath me, he's kicking me in the butt and I jumped down off the bunk and uh I said, "What's your problem, man?" He said, "You urinated all over me." I said, "It wasn't me." He looked at me and said, "I'm so just soaked, man." I said, "I don't remember doing it, man." man.

I was a little bigger than him, so he saw things my way. But anyhow, 3 days later, I was in Southeast Asia. I spent 15 months there.

I was a radio operator with the First Cave in the Central Highlands. And uh, you know, I was brought up Catholic. I had a belief in God as a young boy.

I had made my confirmation. Uh, I did all the things that a young Catholic boy does. And I got to Southeast Asia.

And I was there a short period of time. And I witnessed some things that uh that um um sickened me. And uh what happened was we were trapped in a valley for three or 4 days and uh people dying all around us.

I was a radio operator so I had to call an artillery right on top of us. And a lot of people died. I stayed up all night holding the guy's guts in listening to his life story.

And what he asked me to do was go and see his daughter and his wife if I made it out of there and told him that he loved him. And I told him that I would do that and I was unable to do that. Alcohol stopped me from doing that.

When I called in artillery, there were 50 or 50 children in an orphanage and those children all died. I lo left my soul in Southeast Asia. I wanted to die.

I was never the same after that. For many a year, I would tell you I was alcoholic because of my experience in Vietnam. That's a lie.

You know, and I know I was alcoholic long before I went there. Uh I spent 15 months there. I came home.

My mother and father were divorced. My father was in Fort Lauderdale, right down the road here. I went down to visit Pops.

What do two combat veterans do when they get together? We went out to have a drink, me and Pops. 3 hours later, three different police departments responded.

And yet next year, my service time was in a psychiatric hospital in Valley Forge, Pennsylvania. What a beautiful place it was, too. Locked ward, 25 homicidal, 25 suicidal patients.

Only the government would put that combination together. The lieutenant colonel would come through in the morning and everybody would stand in front of their bunk at detention and how you doing son? Good, sir.

Good. You know, the guy would have rope burns around his neck. You know what I mean?

And you know, they just medicated us to death. They give me a nice breakfast, a nice cup of pills. Some lunch, a nice cup of pills.

Some dinner, a nice cup of pills. About 10:00, they give you a sleeping pill. wake you up to give you one.

They take you out every now and then. They take you out to a dance at the DAV or the VFW. Uh they'd put a song on a bus and they'd run us out to somewhere around the the compound and they'd have a dance.

They'd bring in a bus load of girls from the area and they'd have music and you know, they'd let us get a couple of Budweisers, you know, four or five Budweisers, 1,500 mg of thorosine. And I'm wondering why I'm not the catch of the dance. You know, I'm sitting there with my tongue glued to the floor wondering why the babes ain't asking me to dance.

You know, man, oh man, a very, very sick package. They eventually came to me and they said, "Mark, you're out of the military." I said, "Can I reinlist?" They said, "No." I wound up going out to California. I went out to Ven Venice, California, and I I I wound up spending some time out there.

I was out there 9 months and I wound up in the Los Angeles County Jail. I was seeing a young woman at the time. She was from Ohio.

She came up to see me. I said, "Sweetheart, write your mother. Get the bail money.

I'll do the right thing when I get out of here. I'll go back to school. You know, I'll get a job.

I'll do the right thing. We'll have a beautiful life together." She wired her mother and got the money and uh she came and bailed me out. In a short period of time later, I was on a plane flying back to Boston.

That's the story of my alcoholism. If you like me, I hurt you. If you love me, I really hurt you.

I took advantage of it. Selfishness and self-centeredness. That was my problem, you know, and I took advantage of everybody I came in contact.

I was back in Massachusetts about 9 months. I was in front of the Greyhound bus terminal in downtown Boston conducting a little business and a couple of guys came up to me in suits and asked me if I was Mark Baloney. In those days, guys in suits weren't talking to me.

So, I hit the first one and pushed the second one. I was in pretty good shape and I took off down Tremont Street. I was going like a deer.

I took a right onto Boilston. I hit a pothole, twisted my ankle, went down. They were bounty hunters from the state of California and they wound up bringing me back to California.

I went back to California. I spent a year in the Los Angeles County Jail. When I went in front of a judge after that year, I got to tell you, when they brought me back to California, it was the first time I ever detoxified from alcohol.

And they put me in a I got to sit down here. This ankle is getting me. Uh they put me in a little cell and it was a very very very very small cell.

Thanks buddy. It was a very very small cell and I got very sick. It was the first time I ever came off of alcohol and drugs and I got extremely extremely sick.

I can remember seeing things that weren't there. I can remember, you know, them giving me some food and drinking some water. I can remember it coming up and coming out all sorts of ways.

I can remember the insanity of it. And I got better. I got better in a couple of months.

I started to feel better. And when I started to feel better, I started to go to the gym. I started to do some things.

I started I thought that was the answer. But what happened was that fear that I talked about in the very beginning. That evil and corroding thread that I was shot through with started to get me.

And man, I was petrified. I'd be in my cell at night with tears running down my face. And then they would open the gates in the morning and I would come out talking all sorts of macho crap.

And I got through that year and I went to the Santa Monica Superior Court and I went in front of this little white-haired judge and I didn't know what was going to happen. I had a public defender and the judge looked down at me and he said, "Mr. Balonea, you know you have a problem." And I said, "Yes, your honor, I do." And he looked down at me.

He said, "Can you tell me what it is?" And I looked at him with all seriousness and I said, "Yes, your honor. I got caught." And he just shook his head. He just shook his head.

Today I know he was talking about alcohol, but at the time I did not have a clue. He just shook his head. They gave me 5 years out of state probation, 5 years suspended sentence.

I got on a plane, flew back to Massachusetts with all intentions of going to see my mom. I love my mom. My mom and my aunt Jenny said prayers for me for so many years.

Noveners. Christmas time. I always get a card with we're saying 600 novenas.

5,000 Hail Marys, 4,000 this, all for you and be signed mom and Auntie Jenny and they give me five bucks for cookies and ice cream, you know, and it I mean those continued up to my I got sober until my aunt passed away. Just wonderful, wonderful people. But I I had all intentions of going to see my mom and I got on that plane and that fear crippled me.

that fear that we all know so much about and that loneliness, it crippled me and I just wanted to go and see my mom and thank her. By this time, my mom was on welfare. She had a couple of more kids and uh she would send me money so that I could get stamps to write my friends and get a candy bar every now and then from the canteen.

And I just wanted to go home and thank her and tell her how much I appreciated that. I got on the plane, I didn't have a drink. That fear just kept eating at me.

I get off the plane at Logan Airport. I saw that sign bar. I said, "Let me just go get one.

Let me just get one drink to quell this monster and then I'll jump on the train and go see ma." You know the story. I took the first one and set off that craving. I had to have more.

I had to have more and I had more and I had more. And I don't know when I got to see my mom. It was sometime later.

You know, I traveled around the country with a couple other veterans doing odd jobs. And in 1976 I got arrested for him. I got sentenced to 10 years in Walpole State Prison.

Walpole State Prison in the mid70s. It was one of the nastiest prisons in the United States. It was a maximum security prison.

My brother had been there for 13 years at the time. So I got there and it was like old home week, you know. I got to the new man section.

My brother had a pine of home brew, some reds, and some weeds sent down to me. I spent three and a half years there and I didn't want to leave. What a great place it was to be in the 70s.

You get visits on the weekend. You could be out in the ve out in the visiting room and do whatever you wanted to do basically. And it was just a it was a violent nasty place.

And it was it was exciting. It really was. It was a very exciting time in my in my life.

And uh uh you know my brother Pete was there and uh it was just it was it was something. It was something. It was a part of my life that uh that was very violent and very nasty.

But today I would not trade it for anything because God has taught me that my dark past is the greatest possession that I have and it can avert misery and death for others. And I'm able to share with other men on a regular basis and watch their light turn on in their eyes and watch them grab hold of this thing and find that power in here and just fly with it. Amazing, amazing things have happened.

We're up, we we spoke up in Nashville, Scott and Linda's home, uh, at the conference they have up there, and at the end of the conference, there was a kid, Tommy, standing in line, and he came up to me. He said, "Mark, you don't remember me, do you?" And I said, "No, refresh my memory." He said, "We were in Walpole at the same time." And we got to chatting and we got to talking and and I still talk to him and and and there was another guy named Ed that was up there and and and we got to talking and we were in the same prison at the same time and and I was able to talk to him about corrections and he was going to get involved with corrections up there through Scott and some other guys. And I talked to him last week as a matter of fact and he had called me just to say hello and see how we made out with the storm.

Uh man, exciting exciting things happened here. So, if you're here and you're new or if you're here and you're old, grab on to some of the action that's going on here because there's all sorts of it, all sorts of good action. You know, I got released on a parole.

I picked up a drink and I was back within 6 months. That's what happens when you get out in parole when you pick up a drink. I went back the second time.

I was there for a year. They moved me down to Northalk, which is a medium security prison. Pretty much had the run of the place.

Had a girl coming up to see me on weekends. She was bringing me a package every weekend. I was there about 6 months.

She I got busted as I left the visiting room. They tried to grab me. I had a balloon in my mouth.

I swallowed it. It opened up inside me and I overdosed and came near death. Uh I was locked up in the hospital for 4 days.

They knew I had got it in the visiting room. They knew the woman's name that brought it up to me. I could have called her and said, "Do not come back up." But the selfishness and self-centerness of some eye alcoholism, I allowed her to make another trip the next weekend just in the outside 1 millionth of a chance that I could get that package and she got busted and got a year in Framingham State Prison.

That's how selfishness and self-centerness aided me. And I'm not proud of that, but that's what happened. That's the truth.

The truth about Mark is Mark by himself as a scumbag. But Mark with the steps and the program of Alcoholics Anonymous is a human being, a spiritual being. What a great deal for a drunk like me.

What a great great deal. I got released again. I picked up a drink and I went back again.

You know, the story gets kind of boring now. You know, uh, I got released one more time. I picked up a drink and I went back.

And what happened was the last truck in I met a couple of guys, Joey the Nose and Freddy Fingers from the north end of Boston. They looked a lot like uh Richie and Papy and uh you know there were a couple of spiritual guys and they really were good guys. They just did stuff outside the law and uh what are you going to do?

I was doing some things for him and they called me in. Joey called me in one day. He says to me, "Mark, I love you like you're a brother." And I said, "Joey, I love you too." He said, "You got to stop drinking though.

We send you out to do something, you're making a mess of things. We send you out to take care of something and you know, you're putting people in the hospital for weeks. How can they pay us when you do stuff like that?

You got to slow down. And I said, "Okay, okay." He said, "No, Mark, you got to." He said, "The next time we send you out and you do something like that, we're going to have to kill you." And I said, So, I made a decision that day. I took the severance package and moved on.

you know, they give me a nice big roll of hundreds and said, "We love your brother and just take care." And, you know, I I I went back to see them guys for a while. And uh they eventually wound up uh back in one wound up back in prison and one got killed. And uh you know, uh that's just where I came from.

That's the kind of people I was with. That's the kind of person I was. And God saved me from all that.

God took me from all that and put me here. God, am I blessed? Am I a blessed member of Alcoholics Anonymous?

So so blessed. I got released from Southeast Correctional Institute in 1986. Half a green trash bag with all my worldly possessions.

37 years old. Headed home to see mom. My brother Pete had been released from the Northampton House of Correction.

A year prior to that, he was a sober member of Alcoholics Anonymous for three and a half years. At that time, he was going to Alcoholics Anonymous on a regular basis. He had married a woman.

He had a family business. He came down with another guy named Kenny and made a 12step call on me. And he sat in the living room and he talked to me about Alcoholics Anonymous and told me how it had changed his life.

And I listen to every word he said and I could see the difference in him. He was different. And when he got done, he said, "Mark, do you want to come back to the Northampton VA hospital and get sobered up?

They got a great detox and a great program there." And I said, "No, Pete, can you lend me 50 bucks?" And he did. And I was on the streets for the last year. my drinking.

I lived in a homeless shelter in downtown Boston. It was a nasty, violent place. I drank wine with the other falling down drunks and black stone pack during the day.

And then we would fight and then we would go to the shelter at night and sleep and get up. I was seeing a woman about my Vietnam experience. She was a veteran counselor in uh downtown Boston.

And she told me about a program they had up at the Northampton VA hospital for veterans. And I said to her, I went to her one morning. I said, "I'd like to go up to Northampton." I knew my brother Pete was there.

And the reason I went to it was because alcohol stopped working for me. That's why I came to Alcoholics Anonymous cuz it stopped working. I would get fallen down drunk, but that fear was right there.

It was right there. I was in the grips of it and I couldn't shake it anymore. I couldn't get any more of the combinations right.

So, I wound up going up to Northampton, being admitted to the VA hospital. The first four and a half years of my sobriety I spent in a VA hospital. The first year and a half I took the medication.

I told you I got sobered up April 10th, 1988. I have not found it necessary to take a drink or substitute. See, the book Alcoholics Anonymous tells me in the beginning of the fourth step, when the spiritual maladies overcome, we straighten out mentally and physically.

I'm sorry, but that's my experience. I was deeply depressed. I suffer from post-traumatic stress disorder.

I was hammered with multiple multiple things that I could blame for my alcoholism. But I could not blame anything because God come down and touched me. God came down and touched me.

I am a blessed member of Alcoholics Anonymous. Those things were taken from me. I got Donnie for a sponsor.

Donnie believed in the book Alcoholics Anonymous. He believed in helping others. He had me over at the detox.

I was a month sober and I was going over to the detox and I was talking to the guys about AA. I would head over there with my big book over my under my arm and I would beat him with it. I mean, mercifully, I would beat him up with that book, you know, and I would tell him what it was like and what happened and what I was like today.

And I eventually met this big guy, Kenny. Big huge guy. Ed reminds me of me.

He was a wonderful gentle giant, a beautiful man, a lot like Ed. And I met Kenny. And Kenny was lumbering up and down the corridor, just up and down, sweat pouring off him.

and he was coming off alcohol and Kenny was an arm vet and Kenny looked at me and he said, "Mark, Mark, I'm dying. I'm dying. My feet are killing me.

My bones are killing me. I'm dying." And I looked down at his feet. He had about a size 16 foot stuffed inside a size 11 sneaker.

And his feet were just bulging out of it. And I said, "Kenny, Kenny, get yourself a pair bigger pair of sneakers. You'll probably feel better." That night, he got a bigger pair of sneakers.

I come in the next day. He was looking good. You would have thought I was the second coming of Bill Wilson, you know.

I mean, it's amazing what we can do even right in the beginning. Just a simple gesture like that. And we started going to meetings and I started and I started working on myself.

I started honestly looking at myself for the first time in my life. Honestly, like I told you, I fully conceded to my innermost self that I was alcoholic. The first step in recovery, I believe that happened for me April 10th, 1988.

You can believe what you need to believe, but my experience is God came down and took that from me. I found out that I lacked the power to do anything about it and I had to find a power and where I found that power was in the book Alcoholics Anonymous. I did a third step with Donnie.

I was sober about 3 months. I had had pneumonia three times. I went up to the UMass Medical Center.

I had done a lot of nasty things with a lot of nasty people in a lot of nasty places. and I had pneumonia three times. I thought I had the HIV virus.

It was a big thing at the time. I wound up going up to the UMass Medical Center. They took some blood out of me.

They told me to come back in a week. I went back in a week. Then I walked up to the nurse.

I said, "I'm here for the results of my test." And she said, "Oh, I'm so sorry." And she turned around and walked in the office. My heart sunk. The first thing that went into my mind, aa giant dies of something.

I could see the funeral, the grandiosity of a falling down drunk, you know, 4 months before I got a load in my drawers and all of a sudden everybody's at the at the at the funeral, you know, and she called me into the office and she said, "Oh, Mark, Mark, Mark, no, no, no. The machine broke down. You got to come back next week for your results." I ran to Donnie that night and told him what happened.

In his infinite wisdom, we got on our knees and we had done a third step. Donnie had read the book. See, there's no coincidences for me and Alcoholics Anonymous.

Donnie had read the book with me up to that point. And that night, we got on our knees, said a third step prayer. Guess what I was doing for the next week?

Write writing my inventory. Donnie sat down and showed me how to write out an inventory right out of the book Alcoholics Anonymous. And that's what I was doing.

I got my results and the week later I was sharing my fifth step with Donnie. I shared everything with him. I left back nothing.

I wanted this thing and I read in there where some people might skimp they may pick up a drink again. I left nothing out. No stone unturned.

And I shared everything with Donnie. And when I was finished, I was delighted. See, I always knew I was a scumbag.

When I finished my fifth step, I knew I was I was pretty bad. But something happened to me. I was able to start look there's promises after that fifth step.

So many times in Alcoholics Anonymous, all we hear about is the ninestep promises. There's a ton of promises in that book. And I was able to look people in the eye.

I was able to talk to people for the first time in my life and look them in the eye and and make contact with people and be able to look into people and watch things, you know, watch things. I when I got sober, I had a little dog uh gone, you know, I got sober and and my wife worked at a halfway house. She wasn't my wife at the time.

I was eyeballing her though, let me tell you. And she worked at a halfway house and I went over to see her one afternoon and there was a little dog across the street and it was winter time and that little dog was all matted and he looked terrible and the guy that owned the house was a drunk and he was out there drinking beer and he kicked that little dog and I went over that afternoon and I stole the dog. You know, I grabbed the dog and I I I I wound up bringing it up to Northampton and and slowly slowly that dog and I made contact.

That dog was ferocious. She was about 7 lb. She'd scare the heck out of you.

German Shepherds would come near you. She'd go up yipping at him and give that just like me when I had a drink in me, you know. And that dog and I for 17 years just had an amazing amazing relationship.

That was the first spiritual being that I contacted within Alcoholics Anonymous with that little dog. I had met my wife, but I was scared of my wife. See, I had heard stories about her and I had heard her story and I had met her and and and I I I wanted to be able to talk to her, but I was just scared.

I was petrified of people. But I con I connected with that dog and that dog just was a hu I I had to put her down uh right before I broke my ankle about 7 months ago. And uh you know, I took her to the vets in my arms and she was just dying and and uh and I cried like a baby and and uh I took her into the vets and the vets had just taken care of her for years and she had diabetes and it was her time and uh you know I put her she she put down and I and I brought her home and I put her in the backyard next to our black lab and uh it it was a it was a very very difficult thing for me to do.

But I came out the other side of it and a beautiful thing happened when I came out the other side. Um, you know, my life today, my life today is nothing like it used to be. You know, I get, man, oh man, it's already that time.

Boy, I get going and it's tough. I got to get uphoo man. I met my wife in Alcoholics Anonymous.

Sober member of Alcoholics Anonymous. Those of you who heard it today heard about Frank. Frank was the guy that was beating her.

And I saw her at a meeting and I said to her, "Do what's going on?" She said, "Oh, oh, I slipped. I slipped on the ice." And I said, "I've been slipping on ice all over the country and never got bruised up like you." And she was all bruised up. And uh one night she come to me and she confided in me.

She said told me that Frank had been abusing her. He had been beating her up. And uh you know, the next day I went down to the local coffee shop.

Frank was sitting there drinking a coffee and I said, "Hey, Frank, come on. and I want to talk to you about the program. And uh he made the mistake of jumping in the car and uh we took a little ride down out Route 9.

I went down under a bridge and Frank disappeared. I didn't kill him. I didn't kill him.

I may have verbally abused him, but Frank disappeared and and uh Dealt and I started to keep company and uh you know uh Deulti has been a huge huge part of my life. Uh she has taught me things that uh spiritually she has taught me things uh physically I mean she has taught me things that I never never would have learned if I had not come to Alcoholics Anonymous and became an awake member of Alcoholics Anonymous. When I was spiritually awakened and ready to get the good news, it was presented to me and it was presented me in an unfiltered form.

And Deoly told me things about herself and I told her things about myself and we just connected on a level that I have never connected with anybody. Uh 6 years of sobriety, I took her up to the psychiatric hospital. Uh, I was driving a herd 1966 Dodge Dot and I put a dozen of roses in the trunk and after the meeting we headed up to the psychiatric hospital.

Beautiful backdrop, full moon, the guys were in the windows howling and I got a dozen roses out of the trunk and I got on my knee and I said, "Honey, will you marry me?" And she said, "Yes." And we went out to the second American Indiana convention and uh we had a great time. A mom and bishop married us on the side of a hill. Uh we went back to the conference.

They had a powwow that night. Some of the guys I shared during the day about being a combat veteran. The Indians were all in their Indian regalia.

They come over to me and asked me to dance in the veterans dance. They were in their get regalia. I was in my Italian regalia.

I had my my purple silk suit with my white silk shirt, my gold chains, my black patent leather shoes, man. And we're out there doing an Indian dance. I called myself a wapanog, you know.

And uh, man, we just had a blast, you know. We had a blast. And uh, you know, I was in that psychiatric hospital and I still I I went in and out of that psychiatric hospital like I talked about for the first four and a half years of my sobriety.

I had some deep hidden stuff that God did not reveal to me till it was to be revealed to me. And what happened for me was it was revealed to me at about 4 and 1/2 years of sobriety. And I went out to Angel Fire, New Mexico, which is a a Vietnam vets memorial out in Angel Fire.

It was made by a Dr. Westfall whose son was killed in Vietnam the same time I was there. And he was with the same unit.

And it's a beautiful, beautiful place. And I went out there and I talked to God. My wife was by my side.

And I went into a little chapel and I laid down some medals and I said, "God, please take this from me." See, I was thinking about suicide. My AA life was great. I had worked the steps.

I was going into correctional facilities. I was sponsoring a ton of guys. But this thing was there and it was coming to me in the middle of the night.

And I could not sleep. And I went into that place and six and seven. I gave it to God.

And I walked out of there a free man. God blessed me one more time. He just took it from me.

I went back to the hotel that night and slept like a baby. and I've been sleeping like a baby ever since. Sponsorship is a huge part of my sobriety.

Corrections work is a huge part of my sobriety. I've been going into correctional facilities since they allowed me to. And that's when I was 3 months sober, still on probation and no, I'm sorry.

I was on parole at the time and they allowed me to go into a correctional facility and I started carrying the message and I've been privileged to go all over the country and carry the message into correctional facilities. I do a meeting at the Okaloosa Correctional Institute in Crestview, Florida on Monday night. Two of the guys that I sponsor do that meeting with me.

I believe sponsorship is to be passed on to others. And what I pass on to others is what I do. And I pass that on.

If they want to do it, they come along and do it. And it's been a huge part of my sobriety. A huge part of my sobriety.

My brother Pete picked up a drink after 7 and 1/2 years of sobriety. came back to Alcoholics Anonymous, didn't talk about it, stayed sober for another year, then he picked up some crack cocaine and a drink. He's in prison for the rest of his life.

I was talking to him a couple of weeks ago and he said, "Mark, do you know I have over 35 years in prison now." I said, "No, Pete." And he said, "Yeah, I was just doing an inventory the other day and looking at my past and over 35 years coming up on 13 years sober now. One of the most spiritual beings that I know. just a wonderful, wonderful, enlightened man.

But he cannot drink. He's like me. I cannot take alcohol in any form.

That's why I'm very vigilant when it comes to that. I'm not a guy that went to a place and say, "Hey, give me a piece of rum cake, you know, or let me have a little bit of this." I believe I got to watch that. I got to tell you what happened for me when I busted my ankle.

I was a guy that had three years as a separated my shoulder and I went to the doctor and he said, "I got to give you a shorter demo." I said, "No, doc." He said, "Mark, I got to give it to you to set this thing." I said, "No. Do you hear me? Just set it." And he looked at me and I said, he said, "One more time, Mark." I said, "Listen, Doc, you give me that shot of demo and I'm lab to be at your house at 2:00 in the morning with a gun looking for more." Oh, okay.

I'll settle. Lift it right up. You know what I mean?

I busted my ankle. my buddy Jimmy that I've been subsponsoring for 15 years. He moved down here to Florida.

Jimmy's a Vietnam vet. He was a medic in the Marines. He was up in um up in the DMZ and just a wonderful, wonderful human being.

Jimmy and I were on a job. I come off the ladder. I shattered my ankle, shattered the bottom of my leg.

I hit the ground. Jimmy looked at me. He said, "Ah, that looks bad, Mark." I said, "I'll be all right." Yeah.

Jimmy made a splint. He said it. He tied some duct tape around the splint.

They brought me to the hospital. The first two days I did not take any medication. I was going to gut it out.

I had watched John Wayne. I knew about that. I was just, you know, people were coming in.

They were talking to me. I had tears running down my face. No, I'm not taking nothing.

I can do this. You know, I was right out of my mind. And what happened was the doctor came in.

He talked to me in a very, very spiritual man. And I realized for the first time in my life, God is either everything or he's nothing. God either is or he isn't.

What is a choice to be? And I turned my will and my life over to that doctor because I believe that doctor. That doctor was a fighter pilot in Vietnam.

I don't believe him cuz he was a fighter pilot in Vietnam. I believe him because he came to me as a spiritual man and he allowed me to look into his eyes and I saw a decent human being in there and I knew he would not lie to me. And what he told me was he said, "Mark, if you don't take that medicine, that leg ain't going to heal.

It's not going to heal right and you'll never walk again. You could very well lose the leg, which I almost did 6 weeks later. Uh, but I took the medicine and guess what?

I got back to my room. Before I took the medicine, I talked to the Holy Weep prayer. I called my sponsor.

My sponsor said, "Take the medicine, Mark. Take the medicine. You need the medicine.

It's not like you're there with phantom pain looking for something. You need the medicine to heal away." And they did. And I was on that medicine for two weeks.

And guess what? When they took it away from me, I didn't have to chase the doctor down and look for more. I didn't have to run out and rob drugstores.

It was gone. It was relieved for me. I never experienced a high.

All it did was take the pain away. I found out that that's what pain medicine's for. To take the pain away.

Wow. 57 years old. God is either everything or he's nothing.

What is the choice to be today? God is everything in my life. I sponsor a bunch of guys.

Sponsorship is huge in my life. Um it's a wonderful, wonderful deal for a guy like me. I've uh one of the guys that I sponsor, Chris, Chris is a the corrections person for our district now.

He's the corrections chairperson. And I met Chris. Chris used to come to the miracle group and he was in and out of prison just like me and he didn't want to get sober and uh you know he would come to the meeting and he would sit down front he would listen then he would go out and he would get drunk and I didn't see Chris for a while and I found out he was back in prison.

I sponsored a couple other guys. One guy was in the Air Force. His name was Ron.

And I sponsored another guy by the name of Donnie. Not my sponsor, just a guy named Donnie. And what happened was one night I I went to Ron's to do a third step prayer.

We got on our knees. We said a third step prayer. Then we went over to pick up Donnie.

We were going to take him to the meeting. Donnie was inside yelling at someone on the phone. He wound up uh I wound up knocking on the door again.

Donnie whipped the door open. I could see the devil coming out of his eyes. There was something wrong with him.

I knew he was on something. He took a swing at me with one of those old cell phones. We had just done a third step prayer, me and Ron.

It was a spiritual evening. Beautiful moon floating on the Gulf of Mexico. Donnie took a swing at me.

I docked. He went right over my head. I come up underneath.

I caught him right in the midsection. My wife says I can't say the other word anymore. Right in the midsection, lifted him off the ground.

I picked him up off over my head. I threw him. He hit the wall, went down the wall.

I went in and dribbled him around the inside of his mobile home for a little while. And then I had him in a full Nelson. I was going to drop to the floor and snap his neck.

But I intuitively knew how to handle a situation, which is the bathroom. I let him down and he scared out the door. He wound up back in jail.

Guess who his cellmate wound up being? Chris. They were sitting in the cell one night and Chris said, "Man, I can't get this four step right.

I'm trying to do it. I'm trying to write it. I'm going to call Mark B.

He's on the pamphlet for the corrections here. I know him. He's from the miracle group.

I'm going to ask him to sponsor me. I'm going to call him." Donnie said, "Oh, no, no, you don't want to do that. I got drunk the other night.

He came over and beat the hell out of me." Chris said, "That's the guy for me, man." And Chris come out. He'd come and asked me to sponsor him. And not that I know anything more than any other member of Alcoholics Anonymous.

All I did was take him through the book the way I was taken through the book. Today, Chris is sober over six years in the corrections chairperson. It is so so important to get involved in the book Alcoholics Anonymous.

It is so so important to take the actions inside that book. Not to just sit there and mimic it and mouth it, to take those actions. God, those actions have saved my life in more than one occasion.

What a beautiful deal. I met Chun, my wife and I first moved to uh Northwest Florida and we were going over to a treatment center to carry the message of Alcoholics Anonymous. Chung was a Vietnamese kid.

have never seen another one there since and we went there for almost 7 years. Chung was there. I was sharing.

I shared a little bit of my experience, strength and hope. After the meeting, he came and he talked to me and he told me about himself a little bit. He asked me for my phone number.

I went back the next week, we talked a little bit more. I went back the next week and Chun wasn't there. The following week, Chung called me.

He said, "Mark, will you be my sponsor?" I took Chung into the book Alcoholics Anonymous and experienced a new freedom. I experienced a forgiveness. This young man sat there and told me what the American soldiers did to his homeland as a young boy and I listened to him and he listened to me and we cried together and we hugged and we loved each other.

What an experience. I would have missed that if I didn't get in this old deal. I would have missed it.

What a blessing Alcoholics Anonymous is in my life. What a wonderful, wonderful program this is. I have been so blessed that I since I've been here for the past four months, my wife has been taking care of me, just doing everything.

I mean, just a rock doing everything. You heard her out there with the bow saw coming in tired, you know, and all I could do is sit in the couch and watch. But what happened was I get into reading.

Wonderful things happen when you're on your back. I get into reading. I was always so so busy.

I could ne I could read the book Alcoholics Anonymous, but I never really had time for other spiritual readings, just short readings I could do. But I got into some books and started reading some stuff and I found some wonderful, wonderful things. Uh, I wish I had more time to tell you about those things, but you know, when I got to Alcoholics Anonymous, I had a sponsor that believed in if you asked to do something for Alcoholics Anonymous, and you asked to go a certain amount of time, that's the time you go.

That's why I can remember last time I came to Orlando, a guy gave me a Rolex. I don't wear a watch. A guy gave me a Rolex.

And I was up there talking and I looked down at the watch and it said Rolex. And I I looked again. I said, "These things are worth about 8 grand.

And you know, I thought about putting it in my pocket for a minute and I started laughing. I don't know where I get off in that. But anyhow, you know, don't miss the excitement here.

Please don't. There is so much excitement here. I have never never never been bored in Alcoholics Anonymous cuz I am right in the dead smack center of it.

I'm sponsoring guys, going into corrections meetings, got a home group, very active in that home group. My wife and I love Alcoholics Anonymous. It's the most wonderful thing that's ever happened to me.

God has given me a blessing, an undeserved blessing, but a blessing that I cherish. And please, please, please be here for the rest of the speakers cuz it's going to be a wonderful, wonderful weekend. We got some great people coming up that are going to share their experience, strength, and hope, and just carry on with this excitement.

Thank you for having me. I'm so glad to be here. Thank you.

>> Thank you for listening to Sober Sunrise. If you enjoyed today's episode, please give it a thumbs up as it will help share the message. Until next time, have a great day.