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Whether you join us in the morning or at night, there's nothing better than a sober sunrise. We hope that you enjoy today's speaker. >> Good evening.

My name is Paul and I'm a full-blown alcoholic >> and I'm glad to be here. glad to have the opportunity to talk about my two favorite subjects, Alcoholics Anonymous and me. And I I feel bad about the people that have to stand.

I figure what the hell I have to stand. I uh want to welcome all the u alcoholics. You sound like a bunch of alcoholics.

I want to welcome the uh non-alcoholics. Don was lead. Too bad you weren't all here to I'm glad you weren't all here this afternoon to hear Max tell a perverted version of my story.

I uh Don led the meeting and he referred to people who live with or love alcoholics as being Alanons. And he was hissed and booed by Alanon members who said living or living with or loving an Alanon an alcoholic doesn't make you an Alanon. The Alanons are people who live the Alanon program.

And uh there's an Alanon in the fourth row back right over there. And the Now the truth is I have a weird and strange disease and it's referred to as alcoholism. Max has a disease that is so weird and so strange that nobody's even thought up a name for it yet.

They call the members Alanon. I like to call it Alanonism, but they they don't like that. And but no, I uh I I love Alanons and u I find it's good to um say that in a meeting this size cuz I can tell there's some Alanons here in the audience.

I can I can tell I can feel the vibrations. the uh and uh I feel very lucky. Max is um Max works her program and I work mine and we got a good deal going.

In fact, we got two Alva dogs up in the room. Lily and Sabrina, they said to be sure and tell you hello. And uh they come to all of our meetings with us and well all the ones we drive to.

And u they come to more meetings than a lot of people that are trying to stay sober. As a matter of fact, they have nicer personalities than a lot of people that are trying to stay sober. In fact, we listen to tapes on the way down here.

We always do that on the way to meetings. We listen to tapes of meetings and tapes such as Walt puts out in this listen to learn thing that have been a very important part of um our recovery programs and uh we were going to meeting one place we were listening to tape of uh father Tom W. uh you probably have heard about him, heard him or heard of him and u there's a lot of tapes and he was telling the story about u the one time that Hitler drank he said that uh he was he was reading this thing about Hitler and Hitler said that when he was a young soldier he and some other young soldiers got hold of some liquor one night and they drank it all and Hitler got drunk and the next morning he felt terrible and he decided That's stupid.

He's never going to do that again. He decided he never ever drink again. And he never did.

He said Hitler never did drink again. And Tom says, "I give you Hitler as an example of an al of an alcoholic who doesn't drink and doesn't go to meetings. So anyway, I'm glad to be here and I'm glad to be able to talk about Alcoholics Anonymous cuz that's I have a deal going on with Alcoholics Anonymous as long as I uh talk about the fact that alcoholism is a disease and recovery is spiritual.

Uh they allow me to stay sober. That's my commission for what they call carrying the message. And uh in fact I was sitting through the meetings uh over the weekend and noticing the uh the AA emblem.

The circle meaning in encompassing the whole world and the triangle the base stands for the 12 steps that were read here tonight. 12 steps of recovery. And one side of the triangle refers to the 12 traditions of unity.

The steps uh the unity the traditions are meant to hold a group together just as the steps are meant to keep the members from falling apart. And the other side of the triangle are the 12 concepts which have to do with service. So we have recovery, unity and service.

In fact I like the idea that uh uh we have a book out here a big book at all of the meetings. And uh are you aware that uh 1989 is the 50th birthday of the big book? The book was first published.

As a matter of fact, are you planning a birthday celebration down in Orange County, California in Lagouna Beach? We're having a uh birthday celebration for the 50th birthday of the big book and uh making a big deal out of it. And I think that's nice.

As a matter of fact, I was reading something about the big book the other day about do you know how the book got its name Alcoholics Anonymous? If you're like me, you probably have assumed that the book was called Alcoholics Anonymous after the organization Alcoholics Anonymous, the people of AA who wrote the book. That's not true.

When the book was written, AA it did not have a name. It was written by a hundred drunks who stayed sober. And um one of the suggestions of uh title for the book after they got it written was to call it 100 men.

You know what happened to that? Some woman got sober and screwed that up. Somehow they just thought maybe it wasn't a good idea to call it 100 men and one woman.

I guess the title was too long or something. Another idea was to call it um A Way Out, The Way Out. and they were all ready to go to print on calling the book The Way Out.

And uh just before they did that, somebody decided to run to check out the Library of Congress and see if The Way Out had ever been used before. And they did some checking and they found out that it already had been published 12 way outs, which would have made us the 13th way out. And I guess we would have been what would we have been called?

13 steppers or 13 13th Way Outers or something. Uh so that went out and um I guess what happened was that somebody uh they had a a guy I think his name was Jack and he was out on pass from the nut ward and um he was the original originally was the founder of the I believe it was the New Yorker magazine. He was out on past and they were having this big discussion as to what to call this book and he says why don't you call it uh Anonymous alcoholics and um they took him back to the nut ward and he never got out again but they ended up calling the book Alcoholics Anonymous and then the organization took its title from the name of the book reverse of what you think.

So, if you get nothing else out of this tonight, at least you know all that. I don't know what you're going to do with it, but now you got that. You know, I u Anyway, also I want to welcome the newcomers.

I'm glad to see the newcomers stand up. Those who did stand up. I u I want to welcome those newcomers who didn't stand up, too.

I want to tell you, you're going to stay sober. Uh you're going to make it cuz you're my kind of alcoholic. I didn't think it was anybody's business whether I'd had a beer or not.

By God. Uh, and the good news for the newcomers is to know, I want you to know that if you're willing to help us, if you're willing not not to help us, if you're willing to let us help you, if you're willing to ask for help, we can give you all the help you'll need so that you'll never ever have to take a drink again as long as you live if you don't want to. And in fact, even better news than that is the fact that if you will ask us for help, we can give you enough help that you won't ever have to take another drink again as long as you live.

even if you do want to. And the bad news is that if you drink, you'll never enjoy it again anyway. You know, you don't know it, but when you stood up, you were screwed.

the uh this is in fact you'll disenjoy your drinking so much you might as well just quit it's easier to just not drink anymore. That's speaking of uh not drinking again even if you do want to. I remember one time sometimes I like to listen to the things that are read at a meeting and listen for mistakes because sometimes the mistakes are more meaningful than the things that are written the way read the way they're written.

And I remember somebody like the traditions were read tonight so very well. And I remember the time the guy read the tradition saying the only requirement for membership is the desire to start drinking. I thought that was very appropriate.

See, in fact, the reading of the book, the reading I I I accept that book. I just accept, you know, the first 164 pages of the book, if it's in the book, I've just decided it's true. Maybe it isn't true.

I don't know. But I've decided for me it is true. I don't even have to think about it anymore.

If it's in the book, I just accept it. And I don't have any trouble with that. In fact, my life is much better.

I mean, much much better just for me to just accept the fact that if it's there, it's true. Not debatable. Not.

It's a It's just It's true. I don't have any trouble with that. If I were going to have any trouble with it.

I might have a little trouble with that. Many of us exclaim, "What an order. I can't go through with it." If it's in the book, it's true.

But I've never heard anybody exclaim, "What an order. I can't go through with it. One night I was on in Del Flower and uh some girl read that portion of chapter 5 and she read it as though there must have been an exclamation point or something was missing and she read it as what an order.

I can't go through with that somehow. That seems to make more sense that way to me. It's interesting that I, you know, I said I was glad to be here and I I enjoy AA functions and AA roundups and conventions and workshops and service stuff and I try to go to all the AA things I can.

I just want all I can get of this thing. I just I want every bit of it that I can squeeze into whatever time is left. And uh I um and that's strange because it's strange because I didn't um I didn't I didn't like a a when I came here, but of course the truth is I wasn't alcoholic when I came here.

I um and a they a meetings are really dumb if you're not an alcoholic. They they say a lot of dumb things and they certainly laugh at stupid things. It's a weird thing when you're not an alcoholic.

I mean, and I wasn't alike when I came here. In fact, I wasn't alike. I even feel a little funny when I say when I came here cuz I I didn't I didn't have to come here.

I didn't have any well nudge from the judge or I didn't have to come here. I could have stayed there and not taken a pass to get out of the nut wart. I It was just getting a pass to go to AA was the only way I could get off the nut wart.

Um well, I was there by mistake. You uh well, it was a mistake and misunderstanding. It's a misdiagnosis is what it was.

And it was embarrassing too because on this I was in the not of the hospital I was on the staff of and in medical school they teach you how to act. That's that's what you go to medical school for to act teach you how to act like a doctor. First thing you do is you wear a tie and a coat.

And Max and I had many discussions about whether or not I needed to wear one here. And I showed my independence. I didn't bring one along.

And then I got here and everybody's come up to the podium. So far he's had on a coat and tie. Uh but in in medical school they teach you how to dress like a doctor and carry a bag and wear a stethoscope and if you don't have it around here, put it in your back pocket.

I remember a guy a meeting used to got mad at me cuz I told him he was a doctor. You have no right to tell him that. That's fine.

I don't want to tell him I'm a doctor. And in my home group about a third as big as this. They asked him to get up and read chapter 5.

And he gets up and reads chapter 5 at 8:30 at night. He's got a stethoscope stuck in his back pocket, you know, with his coat in so that everybody can see the stethoscope, but he didn't want anybody to know he was a doctor. That's what they teach you in medical school.

In fact, I I knew how I felt very comfortable being a doctor cuz I had training in that and I would had a big desk and I would sit on my side of the desk and I I was the doctor and you were the patient. And if you got to call me by my first name or it got too personal or I started I got uncomfortable because you were getting too personal, I could always say, "Well, let's go in the other room and you take off your clothes and I'll examine you." And and I was back in charge. And but I but but in medical school, they didn't tell you they didn't teach you how to act on the nut when you're the patient.

And it's very boring. In fact, they had a weird philosophy at that that word. Real weird philosophy.

They tried to convince me that my life would be improved if I learned how to make leather belts. You know, that made no sense to me at all. I I couldn't sell leather belts in the office or I didn't I didn't see how my life could be improved in any way for me to know how to make leather belts.

I didn't understand the philosophy and besides I didn't understand the instructions which of course was the fault of the u occupational therapy gal uh because I've always had a theory that if you don't if you don't understand a thing well enough so you can explain it to me so that I understand it then you don't really understand it as well as you ought to and I wasn't going to embarrass her by asking her a fourth time how to do it and And and the funny part about that is I went to the AA and I went to those AA meetings and I've been to all kinds of AA functions ever since. And I have never I haven't seen one here at this roundup. I haven't seen an occupational therapy booth, but I haven't seen any occupational therapists particularly or giving instructions at AAS.

And yet I went back to that nut wart and I made the most beautiful pair of moccasins you've ever seen. pair of moccasins and a half a wallet. And I I love my moccasins.

They they were nice. Um they they were I wish I bought them. The workmanship was nice.

I in fact they and they look good. They fit good. They wore good.

They wore real well. I used to wear them every chance I got. And it took seven years before, you know, the tongs would break.

I'd repair them. Took seven years before those moccasins wore out to the point where I couldn't repair them anymore. And I felt bad.

Um, not bad enough to go back and make another pair, but apparently Max was afraid I might. And for my for my seventh AA birthday, my dear Elon wife had my moccasins bronze. And And I love my bronze moccasins.

I loved them. I figured as long as I remember where they came from, I wouldn't have to go back and make another pair. And I love my bronze.

I just love them even though they're not nearly as comfortable anymore. They the uh I talking about doing those physical exam examining people remind me of an incident just like being in fact being here in the desert. Reminds me last week I spent all last week at Club Med with um 400 sober alcoholics went to Club Med and took over the complete club over in the Bahamas and it was just terrific.

And off of one section there were four different levels of patios by this uh place where they were teaching everybody to sail boats. And down the far one there were some gals down there. Would you believe they were topless?

And I pointed that out to um Max and Joy G was with us. And Joy says, "Uh, you better run down and um check their breasts." And and that reminded me, I don't tell a story anymore cuz the women's livers got after me. But I I used to talk about how when I was uh in the office I my background my training my specialty is internal medicine do a lot of physical exams lots of physical exam when I examine men I have them take off everything but their shorts don't get ahead of me yet uh when I examine women I have them take off everything and I give them a sheet with two holes in it.

They put their arms through and the sheet hangs down. They feel like they got something on and they're sitting on the table like this looking this way. Then I examine their eyes, ears, nose, throat, neck.

Then I take a little plastic thing and I drop it down. And as I do that, maybe they put my right hand over their left breast and I say to them, "Do you examine your breast regularly for lumps?" And one of two things happens. Always the same.

One of two things happen. Either they think to themselves, "My last doctor told me to do that and I used to do that and I never found any lumps, so I decided I wasn't doing it right, so I've stopped doing it, but I ought to be doing that." Or else they think, "Oh, my last doctor told me to do that, but I don't want any lumps in my breast, so I've never done that." But either way, they're thinking of the scientific aspect of why some man is standing there with his hand on their breast. And so I never I never put my hands on a woman's breast without saying, "Do you examine your breasts regularly for lumps?" And it's always worked very well for me.

Uh, except one day I went to work and I had the flu again. And I um took a few little pep pills uh in order to help me get through the day because I was a hard worker and I worked even when I was sick with the flu and I had the flu a lot and and I and I was examining this girl and she was rather small. In fact, it wasn't so short, but she was small.

She just wasn't very well endowed in the breast department. I examined her eyes, ears, nose, throat, and neck. My tooplastic thing dropped down.

Put my right hand over her left nubbing. And I looked at her very solicitously, and I said, "Do you examine your lumps regularly for breast? I've often wondered what ever happened to her.

I uh figured someday she might come up to me after a meeting and want me to check her augmentation that she's had done or something. Anyhow, I went to AA and I wasn't even alcoholic and AA meetings are boring when you're an alcoholic, not an alcoholic. And I in fact uh that that's how people that's how you get alcoholism.

It's a contagious disease. You pick it up at meetings like this. In fact, if you're here tonight and you're not really really really an alcoholic, you want to be real careful what you listen to.

People think you get alcoholism out in bars by what you put in your mouth, but what you drink. That isn't that you get drunk drinking in bars, but you don't get alcoholism. Um, alcoholism is what you let go in your ears.

So, if you're you're here tonight, you're not an alcoholic, you want to be very careful what you listen to. Keep an open mind. Keep it wide open.

So, whatever you hear goes right on through. Uh, because if I say something and you think, "Oh my god, I did that and I felt like that when I did that, you suppose I might be an alcoholic." Boom. Just like that.

You're an alcoholic. You're an instant alcoholic. And And once you get it, you can't get rid of it.

It's a I tried to get rid of it by giving it to other people. Made it worse. Yeah.

More I gave it away, the more I had it. And I'm I'm much much worse alcoholic now than I was 22 years ago. Well, that first night that I became now, it took 7 months.

7 months of coming to AA meetings just for the laughs or just for the brownie points that I got or whatever before I went to one meeting too many turned into an alcoholic and then even then I was just a just a little just a little bit just a teensy bit alcoholic. Wasn't a real alcoholic just I was allergic to alcohol. I was allergic to alcohol.

I knew I was allergic to alcohol. I was just alcoholic enough to keep coming back. And the more I came back, the more alcoholic I became.

And I'm now 22 years later, I'm much much more alcoholic. And I uh as I say, I knew I was allergic to alcohol. They came to AA and they said, "You have an allergy of the body and compulsion of the mind." Allergy body and compulsion of the mind.

Compulsion. I don't have any compulsion. If you have a compulsion, surely you know it.

It makes you do things and marches along. Big black cloud follows you around. Makes you strangle pretty girls in back alleys or something.

I don't know what pretty girls are doing in the back alleys. But anyway, uh I didn't have any feeling of a compulsion. In fact, when I wanted to drink, I took it for God's sake.

What would happen if you waited for a compulsion and it didn't show up? Compulsion, but I knew I had an allergy. Alcohol.

I used to, in fact, I remember when I was a little kid, I a long time, when I was quite young, I should say, used to go to church dinner dances. Hate church dinner dances. They're not like church dinner dances.

A lot of people at church dinner dances. Always want you to talk to them during the dinner part. You have to talk to them.

Talk to chitchat. You have to talk chitchat. I don't like to talk chitchat.

I don't know how to talk chitchat. I don't just don't talk chithat. And you have to dance.

You have to dance at church dinner dance. can't not dance at a church dinner dance cuz every church dinner dance has at least one hyperactive woman who runs around to you sitting there minding your own business and they run up and say come on Paul let's dance you say no I don't dance and they say oh sure you do and drag you out on the floor and prove that you don't dance you know I used to have a few drinks before I went church dance relaxed mentally and physically relax me mentally and I could chitchat or I could chitchat chat with the best chithaters there. When I had a few drinks, they relaxed me and they relaxed me physically and I can dance.

Boy, I dance fine too. Today I don't drink and I don't dance. Trouble is over a period of time that I still get out of sync.

I wouldn't have even begun to relax mentally yet and I'd get too relaxed physically. But in fact, my voice, my tongue, my mouth, I would talk slowly and deliberately so nobody would notice, you or I would reach for something to knock and I would trip when there was nothing. I would find myself lying there on the floor just lying up looking very serene.

And my line would say, "Get up, you fool. People will think you're drunk." And my body would say, "What do you mean get up? We're paralyzed from the ears down." I think, "Isn't that strange that I can't move?

Isn't that strange that we're paralyzed from the ears down?" I don't understand that. I've never heard of anybody getting paralyzed from ears down. I must be allergic to this stuff.

I must react peculiarally to the drug alcohol. I have to check up on that sometime. I have to ask some allergist or something.

Never found anybody to ask. You can't ask just anybody. You can't because the darn fool may not know any more than you do.

They say, "Well, if it actually like that way, maybe you shouldn't drink any." I didn't want to know what to do about it. I just want to know why I was allergic to it. In fact, being of scientific bend, I lied there and mentally I leafing through the pages of Goodman and Gilman's textbook of pharmarmacology under alcohol intoxication, blood levels up, looking for paralysis from the ears down, you know, never found it.

So, I knew I was allergic to alcohol. The other thing was sometimes when I need to relax physically yet and I get too relaxed mentally as if as if alcohol dissolved the glue that held all my brain cells together and as if it be like as if all my brain cells would get together and say what the hell he's drinking anyhow let's take the night off and they go on home go to bed you know and my body would go on doing things you And in the morning, I try to figure out what my body was doing once my brain was home in bed. And I never did figure out how to figure how to recall something.

It's like getting up in the morning think, "Oh, Don, I fell asleep. It missed that TV program last night. Let's turn it on and see if we can get it now." You know, if you missed it, you missed it and it's gone.

You can't I don't know how they recall something that wasn't recorded at the time. And um anyhow I ended up uh becoming more and more alcoholic having to do the steps. Uh yeah having to do the steps.

I see a lot of people in AA that uh say try stay sober without doing the steps. Go to a lot of meetings. Go to meetings, lots of meetings instead of doing steps.

I've seen people stay sober. good sobriety right up to the minute they get drunk and they always seem surprised. Well, I was going to a lot of meetings, but in fact, I heard some guy who was in Hawaii.

He said that he said you're not really he, in his opinion, you're not really an AA member unless you have done the steps. Cuz he said sitting in a meeting doesn't make you a member of AA. And sitting in a meeting doesn't make you a member of AA anymore than sitting in a chicken coupe makes you a chicken.

and listen to the chickens giggling. You know the uh um anyhow I uh I I had to do a lot of things to stay sober. Learn to stay sober.

In fact, I I found out how to stay sober and it's been easy for u easy for it is easy now. It it was not easy in the beginning this but it's gotten easier as time goes by for me to say so to not take a drink is to on a day at a time basis it's easier for me today I mean to taking a drink doesn't even occur to me as a matter of fact it's not even an option no longer been an option so it doesn't even occur to me to take the drink I uh my problems that my living problems today I and I I hate to I don't want to say anything that makes it sound like I don't think alcohol is my problem. I know that alcohol is my number one problem.

But to not take a drink is not an active concern of mine and not an active problem for me today. My problems today aren't with drinking. My problems are with thinking.

As a matter of fact, as a matter of fact, that's so that's so true that I don't even have a problem today. I don't even have a problem today unless the thinker do. And on the other hand, I have never ever thought I had a problem and been wrong.

If I think I got a problem, I got a problem. No matter what you think. And if I don't think I have a problem, I don't have a problem no matter what you think.

In fact, I alone determine the size of my problem. I decide whether big problems or little problems. Don't bother with the little ones like resentments.

I don't bother with any but the justifiable ones and I don't bother with little problems. I have any little problem. I have to do is think about a little bit.

I have to work on a problem to make it bigger. All I have to do is think about it. I can take any little old little problem and think about I can take a nonp problem and think about it.

Well, hell that's no problem. I suppose if I think about it a minute, it could be. It is.

Well, yeah, it is a kind of a problem. And I keep thinking about it and it keeps getting bigger and pretty soon I'm thinking, my god, it's a good thing I'm looking at this. Everybody else is missing it, you know, and it gets bigger and bigger.

And the bigger it gets, the more I look at it, the more I look at it, the more bigger it gets until I have a hard time having why bother with a problem unless you're going to be obsessed with it. You just might as well just dwell on it. Watch it grow.

And then I look over there and there it is. And I look over there and there it is. And people can't even help you much with a problem like that.

People aren't any help when you have a problem like that. They tell you dumb things like, "Well, don't think about it." Yeah. In fact, that my favorite story along that line is that I always felt that I would have done more with my life if id had the right background.

If Max would have been easier to live with, I could have done much more with my life than I did. And I used to call my sponsor up and tell him the things that she did because I thought somebody ought to know why I'm not doing more with my life than I am. And I would call her up and tell him cuz somebody needed to know how difficult it was to live her to live with Max.

And I would call him up and tell him these things that she had done. And I don't know whether he got tired listening or I got him on a bad day or what it was, but one day she did something really horrendous that I I can't recall at the moment. Uh and I called him up and I'd hardly even gotten started telling him about what she had done.

>> >> And he interrupted me. He interrupted me. He says, "Why don't you just put it out of your mind a couple of days and see what happens?" I said, "Jack, Jack." I said, "A couple of days, I'll forget all about it." Yeah.

And that that's, you know, that's the point with problems. They uh they have a very high infant mortality. You can't neglect problems for any time at all cuz they just they just they're like delicate plants and that you have to take care of them every they plants you know you have to talk to them you have to nurture them you have to pay a lot of attention to them you have to water them fertilizer a lot of fertilizer problems are like that have you ever had a problem that's like a delicate plant like one that you've nurtured and worked on and you really love it so much that you can't Leave it long enough to go to a meeting that night.

You going to the meeting tonight, Joe? No. No.

Can't go tonight. I got to stay home and work on this problem. You go off that meeting and some jerk like Don here put you picking up chairs or going to this one or doing that and waste your time.

By the time you get home, that problem might be wielded down to the point where you can't even bring it back. You can't I mentioned sponsor. Mention sponsor.

That brings up one of my favorite annoyances. No, not sponsors, but people who some somebody will say that they were as somebody asked them to be their sponsor. And I said, "Well, what'd you say?" They said I said, "No." I said, "Why the devil would you say no to anybody that asked you to be their sponsor?" The answer is always the same.

Well, I didn't think I knew the program. well enough. I said, "What the hell do you expect to do?

Go to sponsor school first?" You know, you learn to be a sponsor by being a sponsor. The same way you learn how to lead a meeting or to read at a meeting or talk at a meeting or how to even be an AA member. You you come in and you do it.

You go speak at a meeting, you just get up and do it. And everybody sits there and focuses their attention on you and watches and watches for your mistakes. And afterwards they tell you what you did wrong.

You know that's how you learn how to do it that this being sponsor is where you you learn you do be a sponsor for your benefit not their really you do it because of what you learned by it is at least that's the way it's been for me. I got to think about this. You don't have to be I think part of it is that people will quote their sponsor with something really profound.

And so we get the idea that to be a sponsor you got to just wreak with profoundities. Truth is truth is you can be a real good sponsor and only know five words. Five words.

You're sponsoring somebody and they'll call you up. They'll ask you a question. You'll answer the question with a yes or a no.

Yes or no? They'll tell you something and it sounds quite good. They're rather happy.

You don't really have to pay a whole lot of attention. You can tell by the tone of their voice that they're happy. You say really.

Sometimes they crawl call from cloud nine. They're really happy. Really happy.

Then you say, "Wow." So you got yes, no, really, and wow. Sometimes they call and they're not very happy. Sounds sad.

You say whatever. They got yes, no, really, wow, and whatever. That's not hard.

Not real hard. It's kind of hard. If you're not paying very much attention, sometimes you can't remember which one to say.

But the answer to that is you use a non word. Use non non word. No matter what they say you say hm.

Now with practice you can get that into a question. H or you get all kinds of inflections out. H you can just play with that.

But you got five words and a n word. It works fine. Try it and see.

In fact I've heard that it works. Um, I heard it works well with adolescents. I've heard that it works well with spouses at home.

And an adolescent confided to me that it works real good with parents. Five words and an onward. Well, I know that some of you are sitting there thinking, "Yeah, but that's not always true.

Sometimes they're going to call up and they're really going to want to have an answer. And that's true. That's true.

Sometimes doesn't happen very often, but once in a while somebody calls up and they want to know what to do about a problem. It's question whether somebody's just whining or want to really work on the problem. Someday they want some action to take.

And that's not hard at all. That's even easier in a way if they really want to know what to do about their problem. And it doesn't matter what the problem is.

Doesn't matter what it is. Doesn't matter whether it's a sex problem, money problem, work problem, relationship problem. sobriety problem.

No matter what the problem is, no matter what the problem is, you just pick a number from 1 to 12. You say, "Work that step and they disappear." Well, one of two things happen. They either will come back later and say, "Oh, I have the most wonderful sponsor." which is what you wanted to hear all along.

Or else they never come back. Especially Especially if you pick that number. Which one is it?

Four. There's something about that number that. But then if they don't come back, you're just you're better off anyhow cuz you don't want to sponsor somebody that's going to work the steps.

And if they do work the steps, they're easy to sponsor and it's fun. So don't cheat yourself by not agreeing to be somebody sponsor. I make it all sound so easy.

U as if I've got it all figured out in my own head. And the truth is that one of the best things Yeah. One of the best things that's happened to me in these 22 years.

Um speaking of I'll be trying my 22nd birthday the end of uh July. But speaking of dates, and I said it's 50 years since the book was written. Uh, also December the 2nd of this year, it'll be 50 years that Max and I have been married.

And but we and it's been over 65 years that we've been emotionally involved with each other. um which is um I often make is that upsets people but truth is that it the young people of today just don't have what it takes to put together a relationship like Max and I have like that not the young people of today they just don't have what it takes for one thing you've got to be very very old in the but if they just keep coming back. It's kind of like my friend Angie says, there's only two rules for being an old-timer in a day.

Just two rules. Don't drink and don't die. And anyhow, uh, one of the things that has happened with me in these 22 years is I've gotten comfortable with all those all the people live in my head.

I've gotten comfortable with the people in AA, the people out there, but particularly with the people that live in my head. I have a whole bunch of people live in my head. I have personalities up there that I haven't even used yet.

I shouldn't have even said my name is Paul and I'm an alcoholic. I should have said my name is Paul and we are alcoholics. There's all kinds of people up there.

There's one of them that's afraid. No matter what it is, says, "Oh my god, don't do that. You'll screw it up and they'll all laugh at you." Yeah.

Another one up there says, "Man, as long as you're sober and you got this program, you can go anywhere and face anybody and do anything you want and nothing can harm you cuz there's no way anybody can harm you except by making you take a drink." And this program is such that nobody and nothing can make you take a drink. And um I got one up there that um always got his eye on Max. Doesn't care much for her.

never has. They're always telling me things. Did you hear what she just said?

What kind of a man would put up with that kind of stuff? Another one up there that thinks she's absolutely wonderful. Think she's just terrific.

Got a great sense of humor, charming, great. Reminds me regularly that she's the one who u continued to go to AA meetings even though she's not an alcohol. I continued to go when I got mad at her and wouldn't go anymore.

Have you ever tried that or not? To sit at home and drink on Saturday night when your non-alcoholic wife is off laughing it up in an AA meeting. I got all these people in my head and they talk they talk they talk and talk and talk and talk talk all the time.

Talk talk. is always always at least one of them. Talking talking talking talking.

But when I was born, they held me up, hit me on behind, knocked on a radio talk show. Talk talk talk talk. A lot of times people are talking to me, they think I'm not paying attention.

I'm listen. Yes, I hear you. I'm tell Yeah, I'm listening to that.

Yeah, I can't listen to you, too. Yes, I'll say that as soon as they stop talking. Yes.

Yeah. And Yes, I know that BS that they're saying, but I let them say it anyway. Yes.

And they talk and sometimes the radio talk show drips over and picks up another one. There's two of them. They talk talk talk talk talk or go to meeting and drink a lot of extra coffee and then they really talk talk talk talk.

You know, I finally go home and want to go to bed. My body's tired and wants to go to sleep. My brain says, "No, let's lay here and talk about it a while." Yeah.

Let me go to sleep and in the middle of the night say, "Hey, wake up. We have an emergency. We got to talk to you." Yeah.

Really got to talk about this right now. You You know that deal that went on today that you thought you handled so well and they were so happy with you. Wasn't like that at all.

Yeah. They're really ticked off. You wait till morning.

You'll find out. And I think I want to listen to that crap and I'll roll over and fall back to sleep. And just as I'm ready to fall off asleep, I'm thinking, "Boy, I'm glad I'm not thinking about that anymore." And then they'll say, "Hey, and another thing is you did the same dumb thing 6 months ago." In fact, you've done a lot of dumb things.

Let's just lay here tonight and make a list of dumb things that you have done. You You don't want to write your fourth step? Well, make a dumb list.

dumb things list, you know, and I talk talk talk talk all the time and that's gotten better. I uh in fact this thinking business and you probably have done it too. I I carry the 20 questions.

You've done 20 questions to substitute thinking for drinking. The uh I I carry them around to remind you the Alanons might need this. Let me see if I don't have that here.

Let's help the Alenons a little bit. The 20 questions say if you get three or more, yes, you're definitely screwed. Um, if you substitute the word thinking for drinking, you get questions like, do you lose time from work due to your thinking?

Or is your thinking making your home life unhappy? Is your thinking affecting your reputation? Have you ever felt remorse after thinking?

Have you gotten into financial difficulty as a result of cheating? Has your ambition decreased since thinking? Do you crave a think at a definite time daily?

Do you want to think the next morning? That's a dumb one. Does thinking cause you to have difficulty in sleeping?

Is your thinking jeopardizing your job or business? Do you think to escape from worries or trouble? Do you think alone?

Probably most of you can't say yes, but I can to the one that says, "Has your physician ever treated you or have you ever been in a hospital or institution on account of your thinking?" The one I like best is the one that says, "Have you ever had a complete loss of memory as a result of thinking?" Not since the last time I missed the freeway off ramp, you know. So, my problems today are thinking problems. Jeez, I got to get down from here somehow.

Uh, what time did I start? I don't either. That's a Doesn't do any good to look at your watch when you don't know when you started.

I uh I was thinking of the the idea, you know, my life has changed so uh dramatically ever since I accepted the fact that I was at least a little bit alcoholic, uh at least a mild alcoholic. And uh I found out I had to do the things that you guys had to do in order to keep from uh being a practicing alcoholic cuz there really only two kinds of alcoholics. There's only two kinds of people.

People who drink and people who don't drink. And of the people who drink, there's only two kinds. U n out of 10 of the people who drink react to alcohol one way and they're called social drinkers.

And one out of 10 react to alcohol differently and they're called alcoholics. I react to alcoholic and alcoholic. And of the alcoholics there's only two kinds.

There's those that are practicing and those that are recovering. And um I was around AA and I noticed that in AA there's the people that are recovering and people that are still practicing. But it seemed to me that the people that uh were happy and uh what they call the winners in AA uh weren't drinking.

I just don't see winners who are drinking. And um so I decided I wanted to be one of the winner types. If I'm going to be around AA and be an alcoholic, I wanted to be I'd tried practice and practice and practice and practice and never did learn to do it right.

So I gave up practice and um of course the answer to me then is if you're not going to drink then you have to quit and that's that scared me because I had quit many many many many times and every time every time I quit drinking I ended up drunk. I thought geez this quitting drinking is really hard on my health. Here I am an alcohol.

I can't drink and I can't quit. But I really ought to ask somebody, but I didn't like to ask anybody. Back in those days, I you know, if you ask anybody anything, you prove you don't know.

Prove you're kind of stupid. You have to ask a dumb question like that. Whatever it is.

I didn't I like that question. I more like um remind me of uh Max's Alanon friend Winnie. Winnie E.

She goes around talking in the a or an alenon lot. And uh when she loses her way, she doesn't like to go up a service station and drive up service station and have some young kid know that she doesn't know where she is. So she won't go up and tell him she's lost.

She drives up to him and she says to him, "Where are you located?" This more that sort of thing. That's the way I want to do I didn't want anybody know it's dumb. I wasn't going to ask anybody to prove I was ignorant, but I remember some of the dumb things I'd heard in ' 88.

Some of the really dumb things like uh uh one drink is too many and a thousand not enough. Uh or oh the one I really hated, the one I really hated was if you don't drink today, you won't get drunk today. Now you know that's okay to tell dummies.

You might tell that to dummies from Skidro, but you don't tell that to doctors. For God's sake, if you don't drink today, you won't get drunk today. But I didn't know what else to do.

I thought, well, I won't tell anybody, but I just won't drink today and see what happens. Nothing happened. I decided to try it the other day.

Nothing happened that day. And I've been doing Today's a very important day for me. today.

Today's an important day. Today's the day I don't drink. Just don't drink today.

Drank many yesterday. Certainly going to drink tomorrow, but I don't drink today. In fact, I don't know that I could keep from drinking today if I didn't know I was going to drink tomorrow.

And when tomorrow gets here, I check the time and if it's today, I won't drink today. Which is kind of a modification the way I used to always live. I always used to live.

I'm not going to be happy today. It wasn't happen any yesterday and I'm not happy today. I'm gonna wait and be happy tomorrow.

Don't want to waste any of it today. I'm gonna have it all tomorrow. When this happens or that happens or I get another job or Max straightens out or the kids straighten out or whatever, then I'll be happy, but I won't be happy today.

And uh I was always going to wait and be happy tomorrow. And uh uh when tomorrow came, I missed it cuz I thought it was today. And so that's a that and a lot of other things.

I um find it easy to stay sober. I uh I don't know why but my mind went off to them that movie um speaking of good intentions that's what it was two two things that happened right before I became alcoholic one was that somebody said just blurted it out in the meeting they said of themselves they said I'd rather be in AA by mistake than out there by mistake and that that that really had a profound effect on me at that time and ever since. I' I've been really impressed with that.

Really impressed with what it cost to go on practicing our disease. So the horrendous cost, the horrendous price, pardon me, we appear to be willing to pay to go on drinking and and practicing artistic, pardon me, I say appear to be because we we we say we're doing we think we think we are drinking by choice, but nobody's going to keep me from drinking. I got my right to drink.

We talk about having the right to drink long after we've lost the power of choice. It not only makes us drink it but makes us think we chose to drink it. And um and on the other hand the cost of staying sober in our it's it's the most amazing disease I've ever studied.

Most amazing disease I've ever studied. Most fascinating disease. Most fascinating.

It's the only disease I know wherein when people get well they're weller than what they were before they got sick. We get weller than well. We get well of things that don't seem to have anything to do with drinking.

And there seems to be no limit to how well we can get. I think it's because it's a medical problem but a spiritual answer. Often hear it said that we're all equal.

We're all equal. Um and yet there are many areas in which we're not equal financially and in many other ways. In AA we are all treated.

I'm delighted with the equality of AA. That's what the traditions mean. And that's what they mean by the unity.

Unity means equality. We're all the same. There's nobody outranks anybody else.

And I no no leaders. If you're here and you're an alcoholic, you're equal to anybody else that's here and alcoholic. You're neither above nor below.

And um with that profound thought, I forget what I was saying. And you can't tell me because you weren't listening either. See, I don't know.

It's gone forever. Oh, I know what I thought. Some I was talking about the u the joy.

Oh, I know. I was saying the one where we are equal. Thank you for whoever reminded me the positive thought where we are our equal I think is that we all are have the same spiritual potential.

Have you ever thought about that? that anybody that you have admired spiritually and their spiritual program, if you can if you can admire their program, that means you have the potential to have that same program. If you didn't have the potential to even imagine them having it, you wouldn't be able to um you wouldn't be if you didn't you wouldn't be able to even see them having it.

you couldn't even re appreciate what they have. We all have the same emo spiritual potential. It seems to me um so I I I think the it's a fascinating disease.

The other thing that was said right before I became an alcoholic was that some gal stood up at the AA podium and she said of herself, she said, "I was judging me by my intentions and the world was judging me by my actions." I was sorry she said that. Because I am one of the best intention people you'll ever meet. I've always been the in fact and that's what my mind went off to the story the movie.

Remember the movie Amdus the Mosart the story of this little squirt Mosart. I didn't identify with Mosart. I can't I can't play any musical instrument.

didn't have anything to do with music, but I identify with Saluri, the guy who in the beginning of the movie attempted suicide. And at the end of the movie, he was in the insane asylum giving his blessing to the other inmates. Very dramatic.

Saleri had attempted suicide because he was so mad at God because God, all he wanted was for God to make him a famous musician. He was a hard worker and a good musician. They wanted God to make him famous.

And when he was famous, he was going to give all the credit to God. I identify with that. I don't like to travel, but I could visualize myself going to Sweden or Denmark or wherever it is where they give the Nobel Prize in medicine.

And when they gave me the Nobel Prize for discovering the cure for cancer, diabetes, high blood pressure, a few simple things like that. When they gave me the Nobel Prize and made me famous, I was going to give all the credit to God. That's all all God had to do was to tell me a few little scientific secrets.

He knows them. Would have been easy. It would have been easy for him to give me that stuff, make me famous, and once I famous, I was going to make God famous.

Yeah. I thought it was a real bargain. >> He never bought it.

>> You know, he didn't make me famous. He made me anonymous. >> Well, speaking of this disease, I have my own theory as to what Thank you.

what our disease is, what causes alcoholism. And I um I guess it's a theory. It's my personal theory.

I like it. Don't agree with me. Don't even tell me.

I don't I don't I don't But I'll tell you what I think and what works for me. And the more I think about it and the more I use it, the more true it seems. It seems to me that alcoholics are people who whether they want to or not and perhaps even more particularly if they don't want to but whether they want to or not they generate a great deal of love and lack the ability to express love.

They generate love but they can't express it and as a result it builds up like a pressure an internal pressure keeps building up and building up. It becomes very painful. They put in alcohol and chemicals to suppress it and they think it's helping but actually it makes it worse because it compounds the communication problem.

Not only can they not express love, they can't accept love. So that the people that love us, the people that live with us can't express their love. They end up with the same essentially the same problem.

The pressure teeth building up and building up can't be expressed. Something has to happen to it. Comes out as anger.

Frustration, violence, hatred, resentment, hostility, all negative emotions. What to do with a problem like that? Go to a doctor, they'll give you more chemicals that you've already tried.

You go to a lawyer, they they can't pass a law. There's nobody can help you with that. There's no place to go.

They end up in aa Alanon. What do we do with newcomers? We love the hell out of them.

We literally love the hell out of their hellish lives. Aa, it seems to me, is an outstanding example of the tremendous healing power of love. We just love the hell out of people.

We not only love them. We don't call it that. That scares them away.

Just you don't talk about God for God's sake. It'll scare him away. But we we treat we we talk about caring and we talk about sharing and we treat them with respect.

We make them feel important. Those are all ways of acting loving, acting loving. Not just feeling loving, but acting loving, caring, sharing, making the other person feel important.

Those are all acts of love. Not only that, we we do those things and they don't drink. Days, weeks, months go by and they're staying sober and they don't even know how they did it.

But not only are we loving them, but we're showing them how to be loving. and they are indeed being loving just by sitting silently at a meeting paying attention. It's an act of love.

It's an act of love to just sit and listen to somebody else talking at an AA meeting or even at home listening to your spouse, family, kids. So listen attentively to somebody else using the five words or whatever. That's a very loving thing to do.

And that's what our whole program is. We love each other to health. We love each other to health.

Making the other person feel important. That's why I talk about trying to make Max feel important by uh giving her that morning cup of coffee. I've often talked about that.

And I don't know if anybody hadn't heard it, but it's a since it makes the martyr out of me, I'm glad to tell it. Uh But Max likes to wake up. And that's not true.

Max hates to wake up. U when she doesn't wake up, she likes to roll over and look at the left bedside stand and she likes to see a hot cup of coffee. Now, she doesn't like hot hot coffee.

She doesn't like cold hot coffee. She likes hot coffee with two ice cubes that haven't quite melted yet. >> Well, if the ice cubes have melted, then her day starts right off with a problem.

Did you put the ice cubes in this coffee? So, she likes to see them there. Anyway, I get up I get up before Max does.

The whole world gets up before Max does. And I go and take care of Lily and Sabrina. And then I go into my computer and I type my letter to God.

I type my letter to God. And I used to write it out. I do a lot of automatic writing.

Used to write out pen and pencil or Yeah. pen and paper. Then I taught my fingers how to type right.

I got a selectic typewriter. When I say I taught my fingers how to type right, I really mean that. I just my fingers know how to type and they can type fast.

So when I get to thinking about what my fingers are doing, it gets all screwed up and slows the way down. Much better off if I mind my own business and let my fingers type polar to God. Now I have a computer and I put it on my computer and I tell God, "Dear God, here we go again.

Let's see what you can do with this one. You've been doing a good job. Let's keep it up.

And I say, in fact, I often tell them, I'll say, you you take this day and you make happen whatever you want to have happen. You have come into my life whoever you want to have come into my life. You have them say whatever you want them to say.

You have them do whatever you want to do. And whatever happens today, and whoever comes into my life, whatever they say and do, I'll know that that's your will for me this day. Now, you go off and have a good day today.

I'll check with you in the morning. Have a good day. I've never done that that he has ever that anything's ever happened that seemed like it must have happened by mistake.

I see that some things happen that are really stupid. And I'll tell them, "What in the hell did you have me do that for?" Yeah, cuz you see, I've turned my not only my will in my life, that means everything on the outside over to him, but in the morning and throughout the day, I repeatedly do the sevenstep prayer where I say, "My creator, I'm not willing. You should have all of me, good and bad.

Please remove from me every single defect of character, not every single defect of character period, but every single defect of character that stands in the way of my usefulness to you and my fellows. Now that is a fantastically big loophole for him to let me still be a real nut. You know, I can have all kinds of defects, but they're his choice, you know.

And a lot of times I'll do really stupid things. Why the hell did you have me say that for God's sake? Why did you have me do that?

And I'll really tell him what a crappy job I think he's doing cuz sometimes he's off watching birds and he gets lost and and but when I get his attention boy and let him know he gets back on the job and it works out well. And uh I talk to him. He needs a good talk to do some lots of times.

But oh well you so who was it today? Uh Walt was talking about meditation. He says he can't meditate.

Boy identified with that. I sit there quietly trying to meditate to one of the people in my head. We'd be s maybe be quiet for 60 90 seconds.

Then one of the voices will say this is a lot of crap. And then the rest of them will get the giggle and they shut everybody shut. We're going to medit about 60 seconds.

Ah, Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

I I can't meditate. Like he said, the way he meditates, God speaks to him. And that's with me.

I got all these personalities in in me and deep deep deep inside deep inside all these other personalities in the very very center is a center of calm and that's where God is. That's where God is. He's right in the very center.

I don't have to go someplace to find him. In fact, he wouldn't be there when I got there unless I took him with me. And my higher power is with me.

And if my higher power is in the center of me, then your higher power is in the center of you. And what's real interesting is when that my center can talk to your center and u anyway that's and that's how God talks to me. He's one of the voices in my head.

And you come to me in spiritual ideas or loving things to do. It's suggested I write Max a letter. She's in the next room, but I'll write her a letter.

In fact, we write notes a lot because when we write a note or a letter, we don't get that immediate response. When she tells me something, I usually respond immediately. But when I tell her something, she usually responds before I'm halfway finished.

It's like a guy was saying from the podium the other day says he's getting so old his wife finishes most of his sentences and he doesn't even mind anymore. He Anyway, I get through talking to God, straightening him out. Then I decide it's time for Max's um cup of coffee.

So I get up and go. She has a certain cup she kind of likes and she doesn't like brewed coffee. She likes instant coffee.

Any instant coffee as long as it's Euban and and doesn't like it too strong. Doesn't like it weak. Either likes a level teaspoon.

Level teaspoon full of uban in the bottom of the cup. Doesn't like milk. Doesn't like half and half.

She likes creora. Powdered milk. Lots of that.

Likes lots of that. Two heaping teaspoons full of creor. Double teaspoon full of yuban.

two heaping teaspoons full of creora bottom the cup and you fill the cup with hot water. You don't boil the hot water. You take the hot water from a hot water dispenser.

Hot water dispenser. It's a faucet and there's a hose and a tank under the sink and you it dispenses hot water and you have to hire a man to come and install hot water dispenser. has to have had to drill a hole in the stainless steel sink that replaced the perfectly good white porcelain sink that was there.

Uh and uh and you and the hot water's running in, you swirl the couple around so that the coffee doesn't cake at the bottom and you don't let it go over the sides cuz you got to have room for the two ice cubes to go in. And you don't want to go over the sides cuz it makes the bottom of the cup with coffee on it. and you have get the two ice cubes and you drop them in without slushing it and you walk it into the darkened bedroom and you don't step on her high heel shoes or anything that's painful in your bare feet.

And as you're going up along the side of the bed toward the bedside stand, you be real careful cuz those uh glossy magazines, they're real slippery. And they and you get to the uh I stand and you don't look for a bare spot. You just look for a level spot.

And you set the coffee down and you turn around and you walk out. Now, you don't cheat. Now, you don't do anything to wake her up.

You walk quietly out of the room, hoping that she will wake up before the ice cubes melt. Now, that that's the easy part. Up to there is the easy part.

The hard part is you don't dare hope that she'll appreciate it. You can't expect her to appreciate it. If you expect her to appreciate it, it's not love.

It's barter. cuz you're saying I'll do this for you but now you owe me and then and that's not love to say you stay all the time to say you stay all the time love is for free and for fun expecting nothing in return I was refraining for fun expecting nothing in return I was refraining for nothing in return all time in fact I remember one night I called one evening I called him up didn't seem very late to me I I called him up and I says what's your definition of love he says that same thing at 11:00 in the morning. It is 11:00 at night.

I thought, geez, he's a crabby old fool. Yeah. I said, "Yeah, but what is it?" He says, "It's action." Bang.

And he put the receiver down and action. Taking action. I always say, "Love is for free and for fun.

Expect nothing in return. If you expect anything in return, it's not love, it's barter." And in fact, all my life it was that way. That's what I always thought it was.

Love was a 50-50 proposition just and that drove me crazy. Kid drove me to drink for years watching the balance. A lot of times I want to put something on the scale and I couldn't cuz Max hadn't put anything on a long time.

Finally, I go ahead and put something on then I can't do anything now. I got to sit back and wait see what she's going to do about that. Might be a long wait.

Finally, she put something on. What was that? That doesn't look like any 50% to me.

And I take some of mine back by God. You know, just going like that all the time. Marriage love is not a 50/50 proposition.

It's 100%. 100% both ways. 200%.

No 50/50 stuff. It's 100%. Love is 100%.

you do it for free and for fun expecting nothing in return. And u anyhow, I'm glad I have Max and I'm glad that I I'm glad that I'm an alcoholic. I'm glad I found this way of life because oh jeez, the combin you have to have a combination.

It sure wouldn't be much fun to have one without the other. Uh because in order in order to keep from being a practicing alcoholic, I've had to do this program. And as a result of doing this program, everything has changed.

Everything has changed. It's all because I accepted the fact. What did I accept when I accepted the fact there's now?

I accepted the challenge. I accepted the challenge of living life to its fullest in spite of the fact I couldn't drink like other men. Big damn sacrifice.

I accepted the challenge of living life to its fullest in spite of the fact I couldn't drink like other people. And I think that's what acceptance is all the time. I think life asks us that at every moment of every day.

At every moment of every day. I think life is asking what role do you want to play? You want to be the victim or do you want to be the hero?

You want to be the victim or the hero in your own life story. The story is going to go on. You're going to play one role or the other.

You can either be the victim or the hero in your own life story. And I think he's asked that all the time. I was a victim all the time.

I was drinking. I always had a reason. I was always glad to have you ask me.

And today I've aa has allowed me to be the hero in my own life story. And u and I like that. I like that.

I think in fact I sing the word acceptance in relation to all each of the 12 steps. And I'm not going to keep you and go through them all, but like in the first step we accept my powerlessness and the fact that my life is unmanageable. God, that's a terrific deal.

the more I I made a list of the things over which I'm powerless. Tremendously long list of things over which we are powerless and don't pay much attention to. And um so I just accept my powerlessness and wallow in it.

I think it's terrific. It relieves me of a tremendous amount of problems and not managing my life. Uh it just the more I lost control of my drinking, the more I tried to control everything and everybody.

The epitome of that was when I ended up in the nut wart making lists of things for Max to do to keep the world running while I was locked up in the nut wart, which as she said in her talk today is you have to be kind of crazy to do that, but not as crazy as her coming back every day to pick up her new list. Yeah. I uh I uh I I thoroughly enjoy being an alcoholic.

I think everybody ought to be an alcoholic. U everybody ought to be an alcoholic and everybody ought to have an Alanon in their life, at least one. And u I think it's a great way to go.

I I love being an alcoholic. I u I can't say I'm proud to be an alcoholic cuz I uh I didn't have anything to do with that. How could I be proud to be an alcoholic?

You might say, "Well, you're an alcoholic because you drank too much." I don't agree with that. I think maybe I drank too much because I'm an alcoholic. I understand alcoholics have a tendency to do that.

And so I don't know. I don't take any credit or any blame for being an alcoholic. I uh so I'm neither proud nor ashamed to be an alcoholic.

I'm certainly not ashamed to be an alcoholic. I'd be ashamed of something had nothing to do with. So I'm neither proud nor ashamed to be an alpha, but I'm mighty proud.

Mighty proud. It's the high point of my life. I'm mighty proud to be a sober member of Alpha Anonymous.

Like that's absolutely terrific. Absolutely true. I'm a successful member of Alcoholics Anonymous.

I think that's absolutely wonderful. And I u thank God for AA and I thank AA for my sobriety. Thank you for tonight.

Thank you for listening to Sober Sunrise. If you enjoyed today's episode, please give it a thumbs up as it will help share the message. Until next time, have a great day.