“Gee, You Might Be Right” 😂AA Speaker – Don M.
AA speaker Don M. on letting go of the need to be right, finding peace in marriage and relationships, and how surrender changes everything in recovery.
Don M., an AA speaker with nearly 30 years of sobriety, shares one of the most liberating shifts in his recovery: getting rid of the need to be right. In this talk, he breaks down how working the steps removed the obsession to argue, defend, and prove his point — and what that’s meant for his relationships, his marriage, and his daily life.
Don M., an AA speaker, discusses how Step 3 surrender and working the steps relieved him of the compulsive need to be right in every situation. He talks about the spiritual experience of letting go of ego and how that shift transformed his marriage and relationships. The central idea: “Gee, you might be right” became one of the most powerful tools in his recovery toolkit.
Episode Summary
Don M. opens with a deceptively simple idea that cuts straight to the heart of so much suffering in and out of the program: the obsession with being right. For most people struggling with alcohol, this need runs deep. It’s wired into the ego, the defenses, the whole architecture of how we protect ourselves. And it doesn’t stop when we get sober—unless we do something about it.
Don M. talks about coming to a place where he realized he couldn’t understand his own mind, let alone control it. The breakthrough wasn’t in figuring everything out. It was in deciding to *behave* like someone whose goal was to do God’s will, one action at a time, as directed. Not perfectly, not with complete faith—just willing to try. And when he did that, something shifted.
The results speak for themselves. He and his wife have been married nearly 29 years without a single argument. That’s not normal, and he knows it. Some of the guys he sponsors—counselors and psychologists—have told him that sounds unhealthy. His response is direct: they’re welcome to their healthy relationships. He’ll stick with his.
The real magic is in what God took away from him. Don M. explains that the relief from the need to argue, the compulsive drive to prove his point, feels like a spiritual awakening. He won’t argue with you for free because he no longer *needs* to. That’s the freedom. When you stop fighting to be right, you stop fighting, period.
This isn’t about being a doormat or losing your voice. It’s about seeing clearly that being right is subjective, that it shifts with time and circumstances, and that what’s right for one person isn’t necessarily right for another. He can barely figure out what’s right for himself—how could he possibly know what’s right for someone else?
The phrase “Gee, you might be right” becomes his shorthand for this entire shift. It’s not sarcastic. It’s genuine surrender. It’s acceptance. It’s the humility that Step 2 and Step 3 are supposed to produce. And in the retelling, there’s real humor and lightness to it—the kind that comes from watching yourself finally let something go that’s been choking you.
For anyone wrestling with control, righteousness, the need to win arguments, or relationships strained by defensiveness, this talk cuts straight to the point: the problem wasn’t other people. It was the need to be right about other people. And the solution is simpler than we think—just stop fighting so hard.
Notable Quotes
God has relieved me of that awful need to be right. Who cares who’s right? It’s always subjective anyway and it changes with the wind.
I have enough trouble knowing what’s right for me. How will I ever know what’s right for you?
I can’t control this brain, but I can control my behavior. I’m going to behave like a person would behave if it was their objective to do your will.
One of the handiest phrases in the world is, ‘Gee, you might be right.’
Topics Covered in This Transcript
- Step 3 – Surrender
- Ego
- Acceptance
- Forgiveness
- Emotional Sobriety
People Also Search For
▶ Full AA Speaker Transcript
This transcript was auto-generated and may contain minor errors. For the best experience, listen to the audio above.
And I can't begin to understand how to untangle this thing or understand the patterns of my life, but I'm at least going to behave like because I can't control this brain, but I can control my behavior. And I'm going to at least behave like a person would behave if it was their objective to do your will by taking one stitch at a time as directed by you. And when I do that, where God leaves me is unbelievable.
Um, my sweet Sharon and I have been married, it'll be 29 years in December, and we've never argued, not once. And, uh, I I sponsor some guys who are counselors and some a couple of psychologists, and they tell me that's not healthy. And, uh, I tell them they're welcome to my healthy their healthy relationships.
Thank you. that uh I'm going to wallow in my illness on that one. And and also if you caught me arguing in the last 30 years, somebody was paying me.
I will not argue with you for nothing because God has relieved me of that awful need to be right. Who cares who's right? It's always subjective anyway and it changes with the wind and what's right for you is not right for me.
And I have enough trouble knowing what's right for me. How will I ever know what's right for you? One of the handiest phrases in the world is, "Gee, you might be right.