>> Welcome to Sober Sunrise, a podcast bringing you AA speaker meetings with stories of experience, strength, and hope from around the world. We bring you several new speakers weekly, so be sure to subscribe. If you'd like to help us remain self-supporting, please visit our website at sober-sunrise.com.

Whether you join us in the morning or at night, there's nothing better than a sober sunrise. We hope that you enjoy today's speaker. >> >> My name is Scott and I'm an alcoholic.

I want to say this that brother right there, you know, tears almost come to my eyes cuz uh >> >> doctors told him he's going to die twice 5 years ago. And he hurt every day. He hurting now.

He hurting now. He might have to get his hat and roll up out of here, but he come for it, man. He don't put no conditions on staying sober.

And that's where we all find out what we got when things ain't going our way, you know. Cuz when things is going my way, I can give you good advice. >> >> I ain't going to when the when the when the script get flipped we'll find out what we got, won't we?

Now, I'd like to thank everybody in this room. I got 19 years sober and I'm damn proud of it. DAMN PROUD OF IT.

>> >> SOMEBODY SAID TIME DON'T MATTER, LOSE IT. LOSE IT AND SEE HOW MUCH it matter. Cuz if it wasn't for the time that you stayed around here, we wouldn't get nothing else.

The time that we stayed sober. I see a whole lot of people, uh, Scotty, John, the reluctant drunk that he used to come over to the fellowship home and I'd be sitting over there hating my guts, him and me. I said, "What the hell they want to do with us?" See, that's how a newcomer thinks, ain't it?

We sit in the back and when the prayer is over, we run out. Can't wait to get out. You know, cuz this disease going to want to make you hate your guts.

Ain't that right, Tyrone? See that brother right there? He had two heart attacks in the same day, had counts on his kidney, and he's still shaking.

Ain't took a drink. Huh? That's what this is about, ain't it?

Hey, this this program says we'll be restored to sanity, right? It didn't tell me I was going to get that BMW. Yeah.

It didn't tell me I was going to have a pretty woman. Hey, it said I was going to be restored to what? When it come to alcohol, I was going to be restored to sanity.

Cuz sometimes, man, like this today, I was planning this stuff, had to speak it two times in one day, and I I'm telling you, it was just out of pure ignorance. It wasn't cuz I I I don't write that down and I think I'm brilliant. And it run into each other.

So, you know how we plan and everything, I'm going to plan this out. Couldn't get to sleep till 4:00 this morning. Then when I finally got to sleep, of all the days they want to work on the cable outside my house, it was Saturday morning.

And I was wanting to strangle that guy. And he worked for about an hour, and I hadn't had but about 2 hours of sleep, and soon as I laid down, my brother-in-law come over there and said, "Man, my TV's messed up. You want to help me?" And I'mma tell you what my first thought was.

I want to kill you. But y'all don't taught me to go against my first thoughts. Now, I can't do that every time.

But I went over and helped him with the TV and I felt better. Felt good. You know, I like liquor, man.

I'mma tell you, if I hadn't have liked it so much, man, I probably still be a virgin. Cuz I was scared to death, too, you know. See, I The way I felt on the inside, I needed something to help me negotiate life.

See, I was full of fear, didn't have no backbone, and I Remember when I took that first drink of liquor, that all changed I mean, right there on the spot. Boom! Like I was living in black and white and when I took that first drink, it changed my perception.

Everything was in color, you know what I mean? It was in color, man. I said, "Man, I got it going on now.

I ain't skinny no more. My teeth ain't crooked. They done straightened out." I ain't scared of nobody, bro.

Only problem was that See, I only got one problem. See, my mind and my emotions say one make you feel good. And two will make you feel better.

And then if two make you feel good, I reckon three's all right. And then on that 15th one, huh? What I was drinking it for done switched on me.

See, I was drinking it for you to stay around. Right now, I'm running you off. Huh?

I was drinking it to be the life of the party. Now, they throwing me out. Mhm.

Huh? Hey, this is one word I guarantee you everybody in here gets about in here. YEAH.

>> >> YOU EVER HEARD THAT WORD? AND LET ME ADD this one just in case you MIGHT NOT HAVE. HUH?

MAN, I TELL YOU MAN, it's good to be alive and it's good to get sober while you're living. Kind of hard to get sober while you're dead, I tell you. Hey, and I'm glad to be in the land of the living.

And I'm glad to know y'all people in here. See, uh everything I spit from this podium, 99% of it come from people in Alcoholics Anonymous. Do you understand what I'm saying?

It's the voices of AA, the experience of AA that helped me live this life. And the hey, that's good and bad. You know, that's good and bad.

But I tell you what, man, hey, I was When I hit the door up in here, my life was nothing. I had no meaning on the inside. I didn't feel like I had a purpose, huh?

And I used to look around I say See, I was one of them alcoholics hardheaded. Some of y'all don't have to go You don't have to lose what I had to lose, but I had to run it to the end cuz as long as I thought I had one more person to con or one more ounce, I wasn't going to do this. I wasn't going to do this, man.

I had to become homeless to believe I was alcohol. See, I believed alcoholics was homeless. So, guess what?

When I got homeless, I was like, "I'M AN ALCOHOLIC." SO, I USED TO COME DOWN TO UNITY and I see people with cars. I say, "He ain't an alcoholic." And I hear people they say, "Man, I ain't never had a DUI, but I've been sober 5 years." I say, "He ain't no alcoholic." See, I didn't know what a alcoholic was, but I damn sure wasn't one. Now, you know you're sick when you don't know what something is, but you ain't one, right?

So, I didn't know what an alcoholic was, but I ain't one. I ain't one. And I'mma tell y'all I remember that first drink after that I got this obsession with that feeling.

You know what I mean? I had to have it, man. Cuz every time it wore off, I was left with me.

And I didn't like me. And I didn't know I didn't like me. And I was a always like a chameleon.

I'd do anything for you to like me. I'd be a speed bump, let you roll over me. Huh?

Then blow up on your ass when it Huh? Then you standing all confused talking about, "Why he do that?" Cuz you didn't know I was acting to get my way, and then when I didn't get it, right? I got tired of being a speed bump.

Huh? Don't you know who I am? I heard a brother say we like actors who want to run the whole show, right?

So, 99% of us do going right, and one ain't, I'mma That's all I'mma focus on. Why is Jack chewing that gum like that? He ain't doing it right.

You know, I know how you When I get real sick, I know how people ought to be chewing gum. Huh? You I I know what people ought to be doing.

Some of y'all sitting in here right now know what I ought TO BE DOING. HUH? AND YOU KNOW YOU OUGHT TO BE UP HERE INSTEAD OF ME.

CUZ YOU COULD DO IT BETTER. AND YOU'RE STILL IN TREATMENT. I'D I KNOW THAT CUZ THAT'S WHAT I DID.

I WAS in treatment and the people would come in TO TEACH THE CLASS, AND I'D SAY, "MAN, THEY DON'T know what I think they talking about. They ought to let me come up here cuz I know how to run and direct the show. What's wrong with him?

Don't they recognize who I am? What ain't doing it? Been doing it for 20 years, and I just got through sleeping behind a damn Food Lion.

But I know how it ought TO BE DONE. I'M WIPING my ass with somebody else's toilet paper, thinking I'm running something. HUH?

HUH? OLD JIM WILLIAMS SAY WE'RE THE ONLY people don't know don't understand why the people we hate don't love us. That's our alcoholic.

So I always took them drinks, man. And look, when you drink when you got this obsession and this craving like I had Y'all remember them days. Just like it say in the doctor's opinion, it say they go on the well-known stages of what?

Spree. You'll been on a spree, and you wake up, you say, "Your man here is the light." I'd worked hard all week, gave her $50. She ought to appreciate that.

Made 450, but she ought to appreciate that. NOW I'm going to go up here to this liquor house and tell them I gave her 450, and I ain't got but 50, and she ain't bought no groceries. And my man would say, "You just going to get a half a pint, and you're going to go home." And my my man would come, man.

I Here with the light. That was the light. I get me a half a pint, and I'd drink it.

And my body say, "You ain't going no damn where." You best be sitting here till you get enough. But I never could get enough. I mean, when you can't get enough, and you keep trying to get enough, you're going to have some problems, ain't you?

So I go on the well-known state the stages of a spree and contrary to popular belief get through it and with a firm resolve. Y'all remember that firm resolve? Not to do it again.

In other words, I didn't want to do it again. I wasn't drinking cuz I was wanting to do it again cuz I had done told myself I wasn't going to do it again. Mean it.

Then you mean it. Then you mean it. When you know when we really mean it, boy, you you walk around the house and people be on eggshells.

You know what I mean? You be cussing out a straight. You know what I mean?

Egg spray. Then fly go past you, you knock out the window. You know, we we call that sad right there.

Huh? See, I DON'T BEEN ON SOME SAD right there, man. It's hell, boy.

You need a damn drink when you come off of that. See, my problem is was and always will be between drinks. I got 19 years and my problem is still what I'm going to do between a drink.

Because between a drink was when I was dangerous as hell. Cuz I be done come off of one and spree and I say, "You ain't going to do that no more." And I get to feeling guilty. Huh?

I get to feeling Boy, you know you shouldn't have did that. Then I get to feeling sorry for myself. And then my mind would say, "You know, you know what can take care of this?" Then I say, "You know you ain't going to drink but a pint like you did THE LAST TIME." I ALWAYS PUT IT LIKE THIS, THE WAY WE lie to ourself before we take the drink.

Not after. See, I thought insanity was the stuff you do while you're drinking. Well, normal people, if that's my brother-in-law, I've seen him drink two beers one time.

He ain't like me. And he said, "I need to quit." And I ain't never said that while it was in him. He said, "I need to quit." His hair was all over his head and he was acting all funny.

Hey, look. No, man. I ain't And uh he was doing some stupid stuff, frying eggs at 5:00.

AND HE QUIT WITH TWO BEERS. And I always put it like if I was boxing Mike Tyson. And he whooped my butt the first time, right?

It's just like boxing liquor, right? I said, "You know, I know why he beat me that time. See, I had the wrong trainer." If I get If I get a different trainer, this time it's going to be different.

Now, he knocked me out in the 10th round the last time. This time he going to do it in nine. And I go home and I'll say, "I know what it was.

See, I had the wrong uniform on. If I get me some purple pants with some, you know, little like Sugar Ray Leonard, I'm going to take him this time." Now, he going to hook me in the sixth round. Getting worse, ain't it?

It's a progressive illness, right? This craving gets stronger the older you get, and I found that out. And uh Then I say, "See, I know what it is.

See, we did it in Las Vegas. I'm going to move the site of the fight to New York. And this time it's going to be different." Huh?

And then one day you just kind of figure it out, man. Like Bill Wilson said, he'd say quicksand was all around. I'm drowning, man.

Leaving my own life. One day you figure it out, you know, Mike Tyson in that area of my life, he's my master. And I remember the day when I seen liquor was my master, man.

Huh? Then I rolled up in AA talking about I ain't never had no higher power. Huh?

You ever called a liquor store to see if they had any liquor? HUH? YOU EVER CALLED a 7-Eleven to see if they had any Mad Dog?

I didn't cuz I had faith. HUH? I HAD FAITH.

HE AIN'T COMING IN TO MY I never had no faith. I NEVER BELIEVED in nothing. Huh?

Yeah, the book say we got faith in the wrong thing. See, I had a I misused my thinking. I misused my I had some bad directions.

And man always got me caught up with somebody else telling me how to live, managing my life. And I still thought I was running. You ever been in jail?

This the way we do. You know we real intelligent. Now, when you in jail trying to tell somebody else how TO GET OUT YOU MIGHT BE CRAZY AS HELL.

OR WHEN THEY CALL YOU YOU MIGHT YOU BE AFRAID TO CALL home in jail and you say wait till I get out and I'm straighten that mess up. And you the damn mess. You might be crazy.

When it come to alcohol. Huh? That word crazy, insane, man, it make people run, don't it?

See, really the only people that use it nowadays is us and lawyers. A defense lawyer. See, they trying to get somebody up off the hook, right?

And see, we were so insane. I know I was so insane when I was out there, right? All the excuses I used for drinking.

I didn't never was stupid enough to tell no judge that stuff. Would you? Huh?

I go up before the judge and the judge say, "What you do this time?" And I say, "Well, I went home and she hadn't cooked." I got pissed off and then I drunk. Or they stopped you for a DUI like they got me and you say, "Why did you drink this time?" And you say, "Man, I'm going to tell you, if my grandma hadn't treated me like that." See, society society done got wise, though. That's why they got all them treatment centers.

Huh? We still think we be rolling up in the treatment center. I know Have you ever noticed in them treatment centers, y'all?

They let the one of these really crazy walk around free. And the alcoholics and addicts, they watching. >> >> DO YOU EVER NOTICE THAT?

HEY, WHEN I WAS IN TREATMENT, we needed a damn leader TO GO EAT. BUT WE RUNNING SOMETHING, RIGHT? I'M RUNNING SOMETHING.

Need a leader to go get some damn ice cream, but I can I can think good now that I ain't drinking. That's what I thought. Hey, you get sober and say, "That's the biggest damn lie they I got 3 days off of it.

I didn't do it for 20 years." If that poison didn't affect my brain. Damn, I can think God, now. I'm leaving treatment.

I GOT IT NOW. AND I REMEMBER I used to come in and out of AA and they'd give me a book out of it. Man, I like that book.

I read it last night. Here you go. You can have it.

I I I got that part right in there and I don't need you no more. And then we run I run back and forth in and out of AA trying to prove that I was different from y'all and got my ass kicked through the frazzle. You understand what I'm saying?

Hey, I got my ass kicked to the frazzle. And if you don't like me cussing, we ain't here to be good cuz we ain't no saints and I definitely ain't one. They all dead anyway and I definitely don't want to be dead.

I come in Alcoholics Anonymous and it says it right there and it hit me in the eyes. It said, "Thou those too who who are incapable of being honest with themselves, but that ain't me." That ain't me. That ain't me.

You know, I used to get drunk and tell I had a job and go for a week acting like I had a job, but I can be honest with my Believe it, too. For a few of them mornings I was almost at work. Then I realized, "Man, I ain't GOT NO JOB." FEW OF THEM TIMES THEY FIRED ME.

I You ever made yourself HAVE A CHECK? THEY DON'T PAY ME. I'M I'M OUT HERE.

I'm sure enough rolling now. And I remember cussing the woman out trying to make myself have a extra check. But I don't lie to me.

I can run my life. See, I always thought with these these emotions. If I didn't feel like doing it, I wasn't going to do it.

Huh? If I didn't feel like I don't feel like going to a meeting tonight, let me see the Wild, Wild West is on. About 2 days later, I'm in the damn Wild, WILD WEST.

AND I AIN'T THE HERO. HUH? YOU KNOW, I DON'T FEEL LIKE UH reading this book.

No, I don't feel like doing that, you know. Uh first off, when they told me to buy one, it didn't cost about $5 or something back then, I went off. Why the hell you think I'm going to spend my $6 on a book?

But I done spent quarter of a million killing myself. But I can't buy a $6. That ought to told me something right there.

Then they say, "Get us buy some." Oh, here come my other problem. You ain't going to tell me what the hell to do. I'm a man.

Only thing wrong with my childhood, I stayed in it too damn long. I was 28 years old still thinking like a child. Huh?

Still trying to read arrange life to suit me, and people didn't go for it. Cuz see, my family got tired of me. My own mama said, "Boy, long as you stay black, don't never come over my house." And I figured out I was going to stay black a long damn time.

So, it was unless I changed, it was going to be a long time before I went through her house. Now, when your mama, who ain't never harmed a hair on in your life, tell you don't come over to our house, you best be doing some looking. When your son, who can see the truth and you can't, roll up on you and knock a beer out of your hand every time he see it, cuz he know how you act and he ain't but three, huh?

You might want to start thinking about cuz I did. I didn't quit though. Huh?

Cuz I couldn't. When you can't quit and you can't stop, you screwed, man. When you killing yourself with your mind and you your body killing you, you screwed.

That's what I want to tell you, newcomer. Y'all screwed. They didn't tell me like that, but y'all screwed, man.

You You screwed. They told me and Eugene and all them, I thank God for them and Vincent. They told me, "Your ass is going die cuz you are in a hopeless state of mind and body.

>> >> That them obsessions is running your life. Huh? That if you don't get with this, then you going to have to get with that.

And if a whole lot of people didn't get with that, ain't coming back." And we be hollering that out, "Keep coming back." It's Tommy coming back, Tyrone. We found him in a bed with maggots in it. Huh?

Cuz he wouldn't going to get with this. So, he got with that. Huh?

Floyd, he hit a damn $10 rock, man, and blowed his heart out. He ain't coming back up in here. See, I was mad cuz I was in a treatment center, man.

Couldn't even see God was saving my damn life. I was mad every time I went to jail and they took better care of me than I took care of myself. They made sure I ate on time.

Hey, could take a shower, huh? And I get right out of there running and destroying myself and be sitting on the corner telling the police, "Man, they didn't treat me right." They didn't They didn't treat me right. Don't know them times I was in jail, I probably would have died.

The grace of God huh, saving my life. Huh, that I when I was in that treatment center, that was God talking to me saying, "Hey, slow down. Hey, three strikes your ass might be up out of here.

Huh? This is it, brother. This is it.

This is it. Mhm. This is the last chance you get.

See, I believe that for me. Whether you believe that for you, I believe it for me. See, I don't know what's going to happen to me if I roll back out of here and you don't either.

People sitting me say, "Man, I I know if I go back out there, No, you don't. Huh? You could you imagine?

I I can't even damn halfway imagine living. I damn near dead when I got in here bleeding out of my butt. Let me show you how my man laughed at all that.

I wipe my butt and look at it and it'd be red. I said, "You must ATE SOME TOMATO." HAD BIG KNOTS AND PROBLEMS swelling up on my head and I weighed about 135 lbs. Huh?

Malnutrition. Ain't eating right. Teeth about to fall out.

Huh? Take a drink. Billy D.

BILLY D. WILLIAMS. IN THE HOUSE.

IN THE HOUSE. AND I'M TELLING YOU, you know it's true, ain't it? So, I come rolling up in Winston, man, I got with some people that were serious about this, and they used to tip flat out.

They still do. Man, why don't you get with this cuz you can have a life. Why don't you cuz you don't feel like you can have a life when you first you don't feel like it.

I said, man, there ain't no way. I used to see this guy in the halfway house. Here he come down the stairs smiling.

I said, what the hell wrong with him? I'm going to have to watch him cuz I know he's drinking something. There ain't no way that And I would, too.

I'd be kind of smelling. And I'll never forget this brother George. We was in I had about 2 months.

I still thought y'all were going to show me how to drink successfully. And I remember sitting in the meeting Somebody I forget who he said, man, ride with me to Greensboro. I'll say, big boy.

Man, this is it right here. This is it. I'm going to drink now.

And we got over there and he was speaking. I was mad as hell, MAN. I WAS HOT, MAN.

I said and I started thinking, man, these people serious, man. They ain't really joking. They is really happy.

Not all the time, but they they dealing with life, they dealing with either whichever way come down, they dealing with it. Huh? And they don't have to drink.

Huh? And they ain't insane. You know what I mean?

And I watch them reconnect with their families and I said, man, I want that cuz see that's what I was concerned about. I said, man, how am I going to How am I going to raise my son? How am I going to raise Man, I'm incapable of doing I remember when he was born, my man said, boy, when you have him, you're going to straighten up.

And the day they had him, I was so damn full of fear I got worse. Cuz I didn't know how to be a dad. I ain't had no dad.

How you be a dad? I wasn't going to tell you I didn't know. So I just acted it out with my solution.

Huh? Scared the hell out of me. I don't hear you.

That what do you tell him? I can't even tell me how I'm going to tell him. Man, people start I start and I start my my direction start changing in here.

I start having some hope. You know I was a ninth grade dropout. Huh?

Start going back to school. Hey, I'm going to tell you man, keeping some money in your pocket. I remember when I used to say man, I wish that I could buy a damn soda, man.

You understand me? I didn't say no car, no house. I said a soda.

I COULDN'T EVEN have buy a soda, man. I'd be walking around my lips be all white. Couldn't even buy a soda, man.

I remember when I could go buy a soda, man, and enjoy a soda. Cuz I remember talking to this guy I said, "What I'm going to drink now?" And he said, "Yeah, BUT TRY THE WATER." START GOING UP THERE PICKING MY son up out little things, man, a wake up. I remember his momma giving me $20.

$20. Man, I couldn't believe that, man. She said, "Here you go.

Take him and get a haircut." You sure? I said, "You sure?" You You giving me $20? You giving me $20?

And she gave me the $20. I took him to get a haircut. Huh?

Remember looking at me, man. It wasn't so bad. Your Your mind will tell you these four or five steps you're going to kill you.

I'mma tell you what's going to kill you, not doing it. How many people in here that have done the fourth and fifth step? I guarantee you if I go around, they got double digits.

Huh? They're rolling, man. Huh?

They're the ones up in here smiling. Huh? They're the ones up in here living.

Huh? And your mind will tell you, man, I can't do that. It'll kill me.

No, not doing it will kill you, and I've already seen it do it. I've already seen people die cuz they failed in large their spiritual life. I don't see people die cuz they say, "Man, I don't believe in doing no inventory." Well, how the hell you know what's wrong with you?

I didn't until you see it. If I don't know what how I'm screwing me, I'mma keep screwing me, and I'mma take you with me. I'mma give me hell, give you hell, and I I'mma be in here sober.

Sober. A man ate getting up there to say it in the fifth step, it says, "We going to get a new attitude with our creator." Hey, I couldn't wrap my head around no loving God to save my life, man. How you going to wrap your head around this concept of loving God?

But I seen what my problem was. See, the in the book says says, "Ease I direct I wanted to direct him." I wanted to tell him who ought to die, who ought to live. Huh?

Huh? See, when my sister died, See, it's all right for your sister to die. But not mine.

But guess what? She messed up my theory about being here forever. Cuz I'mma die, too.

And I hope to hell it's over. Huh? I hope it's over.

You know. Then I got to that eighth and ninth step. Don't never run around here talking about you like doing God's will.

And you ain't done no eighth and ninth step. And you ain't paid that money back. And you ain't went to them people and told them your side and cleared your cuz I remember telling my sponsor, "Man, I love doing God's will.

This is awesome." Love it. Spiritual. Spiritual.

Spiritual giant. What Dennis called spiritual giantness. I'm spiritual.

Yes. Uh, you ready to go do them a man? You ready to go tell your cousin you going to give them that money back?

The one that was going to kill you. You ready to sit down with your mama and look her in her face and say it ain't her fault. You ready to take your boy and his sister that used to run to one corner of the house scared and grin at your ass and tell them you love them and it was you and not them.

Tell your mama, "It ain't the way you raised me, mom. You know, it's just that I like getting high." It's just that damn simple. I like the effect produced by alcohol.

And guess what? I like the effect produced by the steps. Or else I wouldn't be here.

I like the effect of my mama respecting me. I like the effect of being able to being able to go to bed at night and then when the siren go off, it ain't me. I like the effect of my son bringing me a two shirts down the house say, "Dad, I got you something." I like the effect of watching him play football.

He plays semi-pro. I like the effect of the effect when he at me and wink like that. I like the effect of when I'm sitting in here crazy as hell one of y'all AAs will bring it down so simple to me.

I say, "Damn." I like the effect produced when I get hooked up in the morning when I when I you know I usually when we wake up with a I ain't got the right house, the right money, the right job. Where she at? Huh?

And when you get up you feel you you got the right house and the right money and you got everything is right. I like the effect produced like that. And that's why I love Alcoholics Anonymous.

And I can tell you this right now if I hear anybody in here I don't give a damn how big you is say something about it you going to hear from me. This guy named Tom Brady. Some of y'all remember old Tom.

I bet him about four times he got with something. Tom said he was sponsoring this guy and the guy start going to church. Ain't nothing wrong with church cuz guess what?

I work for a ministry and it's in the book it say be quick to see where religion is right. I was always quick to see where religion was wrong. Quick.

TOM SAID THE GUY GOT THE message and he got drunk and he called him one night and said, "Man, I'm drunk." He said, "Well, why why you drunk?" He said, "Man, I start going them people in AA did too much cussing. They was profane." Tom say, "Well, what at?" He said, "I reckon they sober." He said, "See, you don't even understand what profanity is. Profanity is when you defile something that God created to help people.

When you judge something that God created, you are profane. Ain't that something? Huh?

See, the God I serve, we his kind of people. Huh? That's who we hang out with, man.

The lost. The one in darkness. That's who we roll with, man.

Hey. But we can't get nothing from them until we humble enough to say, "Help me." "Help me." And most time, if you don't ready for this, you got to get humility to get humble. You really do.

If you If you hard-headed as we are, if you hard-headed as we are, as soon as Rita said no smoking, I got pissed off. You know what? She ain't talking about me.

I'm the speaker. I still don't like somebody telling me what to do, but I don't have to act out on it and be a fool about it cuz she was telling the truth. Some people don't smoke, and we don't need to be killing them.

BUT IF YOU AIN'T GOT A SPONSOR, THEY talk about sponsorship. How many people here sponsor people? Look at that.

Look at that. Hey, God in the midst of you. I'm going to tell you the biggest mistake you can make like I made.

Help, it's going to be me and God. I hate they asses, but me and God, we going to really Huh? We really going to do this thing.

I hate y'all, but I love God. Me and God going to do this. What a design is God, me and you and that's why I'm standing here today because life going to chew off some big lumps.

My sister died here about three or four years ago. Man, that was a lump. You understand me?

That was a lump. We me and her got real close, man. That was a lump, brother.

And to sit and watch somebody die and you ain't got nothing for it. I didn't want to drink one time. You know what she said?

Boy, you better not drink. She don't see the results of this thing. You know what I mean?

Was able to go help and take care of her sick with her, man. I couldn't have done that not uh drinking. I mean drinking.

I got me a BMW. I'mma tell you a little story about that. You think I'm bragging?

I ain't. I got it through a AA member. And I always wanted a BMW, right?

I spent so much money in this other car that I was damn broke. I had $46. And I was in here talking about it.

And my man was kind and gracious enough to say, "Hey, man, I I know where I can help you get it." He didn't give me no money. He just pointed me in the right direction. You see what I'm saying?

And I got a damn BMW and didn't put a pole on it. Now, did I plan that? No.

Do I like it? Yeah. Huh?

Huh? You understand what I'm saying? I just had a wreck and hurt my back and I done got more help from people in AA than I have from my doctor.

Though they didn't have to psych me and let me tell you what to do. Huh? Uh don't do this.

Do that. Ain't that awesome, man? Ain't that awesome?

I always got to tell this story cuz I always love I love to laugh, man. I I didn't laugh for half of my life. I'd be damned if I'mma roll through here sad.

What they call it up in the book, man? A glum lot. Sitting up in the meeting going, "I'm so grateful." Look like you want to kill your damn self.

Trying to convince your damn self you got I didn't do it, too. I'm so grateful. You know, a wet old David from Georgia say, "If you so damn grateful, TELL YOUR FACE." >> >> SO, WE AIN'T BELIEVING THAT TILL YOU DO.

HEY. This old guy, his name was a little bit more. And that's what we got, the disease of more.

Ain't nothing ever enough till we get God. And I believe that. Just like my buddy Grissom say, "Doctors told me I was going to die twice.

And I'm still here 5 years later. I'mma tell you what it is." >> >> He called me don't matter. He called me a couple weeks ago.

He got to go in hospital here for operation. And he told me say, "Man, this guy he's kind of hot." He said this guy from the bank called me talking about I can't get no credit. Well, I done paid my car off.

He had 19 cars. Drinking. 19.

He was telling me the other night that they were so bad he'd get out and take a piss and get back in and look back and the grass would BE ON FIRE. >> >> LET ME TELL YOU THIS. ME AND HIM KIND OF got a little sick together.

We done made the man this and made the man that. You know how we can get sick sometimes. We done made the man this and made the man that.

And he called me back about that evening. He said, "You know what, Scott?" He said, "That man called I called that man and told man, look, God done took care of me cuz I seen him make it off $20 for 3 years a month. He asked me for some money one time." One time.

And he said, "I called that man and told him my whole life story." And he told me to come down here and get any damn amount of money I wanted. Can you believe that, man? I can.

A lot of other people in here can cuz we've been in them spots, ain't we? But a little bit more had tried everything. He smoked banana peels to try to fix himself.

He put all kind of band-aids on his emotions, on his brain, hey, trying to kill them thoughts, hey, them voices that I the hall used to kill and he couldn't wouldn't work. So, he goes over to this guru and the guru he said, "Mr. Guru, I have always heard that you're the man.

And you know how to fix me." And so, the guru said, "This is what you do, man." He said, "I want you to go to AA, go one them 12-step program cuz you crazy as hell. And get you a relationship with whatever higher power you can call a higher power. Don't do it with a doorknob cuz we done tore off them doorknobs before.

I tore up doors, Carl. Get you one with some people up in them rooms with a sponsor, home group, clean house and help other people." My man said, "That that don't work. I tried that, man, about five times for five weeks." My man said, "That's okay.

I'll tell you what, you got any money?" He said, "Yeah." He said, "Give me all your money and I'll pay you how to really get it." He gave me his money. He said, "Go back to America, get naked around American Birch tree, and run around it five times, and spit on your foot." Our man said, "You Man, I knew you had a ounce." He said, "Thank God for people like you." And he walked off. And the old guru looked up in there and said, "See God?

They'll buy all this and they won't even take the truth for free." THANK YOU. >> >> THANK YOU FOR LISTENING TO SOBER SUNRISE. If you enjoyed today's episode, please give it a thumbs up as it will help share the message.

Until next time, have a great day. >>