I Got Sober and Accidentally Became a Service Junkie – AA Speaker – Andrew W.
Andrew W. from Montana shares his journey from young alcoholic to AA service junkie. A look at how working the steps and service transformed his life and kept him connected to AA.
Andrew W. from Missoula, Montana came to AA at 17 with a mind full of fear and shame, convinced he was different from everyone else. In this AA speaker tape, he walks through his drinking, early sobriety, working the steps—especially making amends to his parents—and how service work unexpectedly became the thing that keeps him plugged into recovery and the fellowship.
Andrew W. describes growing up as a first-generation American with an uncomfortable mind, discovering alcohol at 11 and quickly becoming addicted to how it made him feel. In treatment at 17, he learned about powerlessness, made the decision to work the steps, and found that service positions in AA—from GSR to delegate to general service board trustee—became a source of connection and purpose he never expected. He emphasizes that service keeps him close to the message and teaches him how to interact with others in healthy ways.
Episode Summary
Andrew W. opens with humor and humility: he’s a service speaker, a replacement, a nerd from Montana filling in for an elegant woman from New York. But that’s exactly the energy that makes this talk work—he’s real, self-aware, and willing to let the audience in.
He starts with what he was like: a kid who felt fundamentally different, uncomfortable in his own skin, terrified of being found out. He was smart, sure, but that mind of his became a liability. When he took his first drink at 11—half beer, half ginger ale at a wedding reception in London—something shifted. Alcohol didn’t make him smarter or more likable. It made him not care anymore. It took away his fear. He and his brother roof-hopped across London. His brother got in trouble. He got away with it. That was the deal he thought he’d struck with alcohol.
The rest was a slow, familiar slide. New school, new friend, new plan: find people who would get him drunk. By 13 he was restless, irritable, and discontent when he couldn’t drink. By high school he was reclassifying who had a problem—everyone else, never him. By college he was on a scholarship he couldn’t show up for, thinking about suicide, drinking and using to feel close to normal instead of to feel good. His psychiatrist told him he could get a medical withdrawal if he agreed to get treatment. His brother, meanwhile, had already been through an intervention (thanks to his employer, a guy named Tom S. who was in AA), had gone to a treatment center, been sent back, and made a deal to go to AA. Andrew’s takeaway: don’t talk to Tom about your drinking.
But at 17, after a close call with cocaine and a moment of clarity—if something didn’t change, he’d drink again; if he drank again, he’d get drunk—he went into outpatient treatment. There, they introduced him to the steps. He wasn’t on board with powerlessness at first. He could drink with anybody. But the Big Book had a test: if you have any doubt, try controlled drinking. He didn’t need to try. He knew what would happen. He’d want more. That hit him. That was Step 1.
He got to AA meetings. Everyone was old. He tried to figure out who ran the show. His mind still told him he was too young, too smart, and he still wanted that release. But part of him wanted a little bit more of what he saw in the rooms. He kept coming back. Slowly, the obsession of the mind loosened. He discovered that in a meeting, for 20 minutes, he could stop thinking about himself and how miserable his life was. That was freedom.
He worked the steps. Making amends to his mother came first and felt natural—a beginning to a lifetime of being a good son. Making amends to his father was bigger. His dad was British, emotionally reserved, everything Andrew resented. But working with his sponsor, Andrew had to change his attitude, forgive his father just for being who he was, not who Andrew wanted him to be. Then he could connect with his dad on his terms: science and sports. They built a relationship. Years later, when his father had a heart attack, Andrew was able to tell him he loved him and that it was okay to let go. That’s a gift from AA that he can never repay.
The service piece came gradually. First, he self-appointed himself as a contact at his university health center. Then his sponsor suggested he answer phones at intergroup. He went back to college, applied the principles—suit up, show up, do what’s asked—and it worked. He graduated, went to graduate school in San Diego, and when his sponsor suggested he stand for GSR, he said yes. He didn’t know what a GSR was, but he’d learned to trust his sponsor.
From there it escalated. District meetings. Area assemblies. He moved to Montana, became a GSR again (didn’t know he wasn’t supposed to), then alternate DCM, then DCM. He learned about service beyond the home group. When his area assembled to think about matters affecting AA as a whole, he realized there was a structure of people, unpaid, doing work so AA could keep going. That struck him.
Eventually he became a delegate to the General Service Conference in New York. Met trustees. Saw that none of them were paid. Got clear on what general service actually does: it serves the fellowship. It doesn’t carry the message—that still happens one alcoholic to another, in the home group, on the twelfth-step call. General service just makes sure the infrastructure exists.
Then came the election for West Central Regional Trustee. He talked to his wife (she said go for it), his boss (he came out about being an alcoholic and explained the commitment), and put his name forward. The election process was remarkable: substantial unanimity required, up to five ballots if needed. Three people tied after five ballots. All three names went in the basket. His name came out.
Now he’s a trustee. One year in, three to go. And he admits it: he’s a service junkie. That part of him that wants a little bit and then wants more? It works in AA too. He gets a few days without drinking that don’t suck, he wants more. He gets a good day, he wants more. He keeps coming back. Same with service—a little bit of helping, a little bit of connection, a little bit of purpose, and he wants more.
He’s not retired. He has a full job. He still does triathlons (bought a wetsuit in Minneapolis). But he finds time because, as he says, God makes the time. He doesn’t have to fix AA or save AA. That’s God’s job. His job is just to show up and be of service. Following instructions. Staying on track. Asking for help when he veers off course (like in a swim when people in kayaks tell him to go left). Other people in service do that for each other.
He plugs the West Central Regional Forum coming to the hotel in September—free registration, a chance to meet the GSO manager, the board chair, other trustees, and talk about AA with people who care about AA. He’s a service junkie. He loves that.
He also plugs institutional service: taking meetings into treatment centers and jails where, if nobody shows up, there’s no meeting. And corrections correspondence: writing to incarcerated people who want to learn about staying sober. You don’t need experience being locked up. You just need experience staying sober in AA. Anyone can do that.
He closes by saying he came to AA wanting less pain, wanting to get rid of that raw feeling of being fundamentally different. And he got so much more. Not just from working the steps, but from being involved in service. He’s one of the luckiest people in the world, and he’s going to keep giving back because AA has given him everything.
Notable Quotes
Alcohol takes away your fear.
The insanity was that I would say I had all these ideals and goals and what I would do instead was go drink.
If something doesn’t change, I’m going to drink again. And if I drink again, I’m going to get drunk.
One of the most wonderful things, the freedom I’ve gotten in Alcoholics Anonymous, is from realizing that my success or failure doesn’t end the world.
I learned that whenever my sponsor said something like that, I said okay. And I got to look outside of my home group for the first time.
I’m a service junkie. I’ll admit it. A little bit of this gives me something good, and I want more.
I don’t have to fix AA. I don’t have to save AA. All I have to do is be of service to Alcoholics Anonymous.
Acceptance
Step 4 – Resentments & Inventory
Steps 8 & 9 – Making Amends
Service Work
Topics Covered in This Transcript
- Sponsorship
- Acceptance
- Step 4 – Resentments & Inventory
- Steps 8 & 9 – Making Amends
- Service Work
People Also Search For
▶
Full AA Speaker Transcript
This transcript was auto-generated and may contain minor errors. For the best experience, listen to the audio above.
Welcome to Sober Sunrise, a podcast bringing you AA speaker meetings with stories of experience, strength, and hope from around the world. We bring you several new speakers weekly, so be sure to subscribe. If you'd like to help us remain self-supporting, please visit our website at sober-rise.com.
Whether you join us in the morning or at night, there's nothing better than a sober sunrise. We hope that you enjoy today's speaker. Thank you, Mary.
My name is Andrew Wear. I'm an alcoholic. >> Um, I love the bright lights.
That's the first time I've spoken with the lights on. That's a it's a good feeling. Uh, I am from Missoula, Montana.
I am a um the service speaker. I'm a replacement as well, so I got two strikes against me, so I'm trying to lower your expectations. Um, the original speaker was from New York, Phyllis H.
Um, Phyllis is a very elegant woman from New York. She's very involved at GS. She works at GSO.
um she couldn't be here because she's actually uh had a trip that got scheduled to the Ukraine to help them out, share some of GSO's experience with Ukraine. Um it's pretty amazing. Um and instead you got a nerd from Montana.
So one of the things I have to do through this talk is not only tell you a little bit about what I was like, what happened and and what I'm like now, but also try to tell you about why am I the service speaker? Why is a guy from Montana involved in service and how does that work? What the heck is a West Central Regional Trustee?
I do want to thank though before a lot of people uh before I get going and forget to thank anybody. Um one of the thing I want to thank is my Montana friends. There's at least five Montanaans in the audience.
Yeah, you may not think this is a big thing, but that's about a quarter of the population of Montana. So, thank you all. I want to thank the uh the serer over there.
The signer is plural. Excuse me. Thank you very much.
I I think that's a much harder job actually than talking is trying to figure out what the heck we're saying. Um and I want to thank the speakers that went before me. I want to thank uh Teresa who did an awesome job kicking us off and Scott and uh and Cury getting us going this morning.
Uh that was awesome and uh you I identify a lot with all these. I want to thank Connie and I want to thank my host Terry who gave me the invitation actually uh and he's been a great host here. Um thank you very much Terry.
Yeah, I'll clap for you Terry. >> >> Now, Terry's a friend and and he was he was willing to indulge me yesterday. Um, you know, he asked me what I wanted to do yesterday, coming to the big city, uh, Minneapolis, and I took him to a place where I could try on wet suits.
Uh, that's what I did. Uh, don't laugh. Wet suits are slimming.
You know, you get all in black, it looks nice. No. Uh, maybe I'll tell a little bit more about that later on, what I'm like now.
Uh but that's what I asked him to do and he was willing enough to drive me over there kind of 40 minutes away and and uh and just wait while I tried on wets suits and and I got one. Um so uh first a little bit about you know what what I was like and uh this is wonderful when the the uh one of the first uh conventions I ever went to was was the Texas State A convention in Austin, Texas. I just happened to randomly go to it.
Uh I was 18. I was in cut off shorts and flip-flops. Uh, and I was at the back of the room cuz I showed up late, of course.
Uh, and so that's who I was. And that's who I was in early sobriety. And and we'll we'll get there.
Don't worry, I'll drink before this happens. Uh, but I look out across this room and that's my comparison point is is to come from there and and to be up here is just amazing. I don't know how that happens and I don't know how it happens for me.
Um so for me kind of growing up uh I am a uh a first generation American. My my family all the rest of my family was born in England. They they came over um before I was born obviously uh and they settled in California for a brief bit before moving to Texas.
And I was born in California but I grew up in Austin, Texas. And I was different from the rest of my family because I was born here and they weren't. And uh and I was different from all of you and uh everybody.
Uh the one, you know, I had a I had a good mind. I thought I was really smart and I'd like you to think I was really smart. Um but my real problem was I just couldn't get I couldn't figure out how to interact with other people.
It used to baffle me. Uh and it was, you know, I was going through the motions. I was really uncomfortable in my own skin.
Uh I always felt like I was less than, different than, you name it. Um, you know, the the other two speakers last night, they were always talking about alcoholism in their family. Well, my family was a little bit different.
My family suddenly had an alcoholic bomb dropped in the middle of it. Uh, there is some if you go back in our history, if you go back in my family history, it's there a couple generations back, but it's in in this generation, it's my brother and I. Boom.
You know, my parents were Catholic, uh, English, very involved in the Catholic church, very religious, and suddenly they had these two, uh, two alcoholic bombs dropped in their family, and they had no idea what was going on with that. No idea. Um, for me, this whole idea about being uncomfortable with other people, um, not be able to get along, none of that makes me an alcoholic.
I've met both. I've met people like me who are uncomfortable around other people and I've met people in AA who are so smooth. So smooth.
If you want to if you want to meet one of the smoothest people in AA and this is I'm getting an early plug here at this hotel in September. We're going to have a nice little regional forum. Another AA event.
Hope you come back for it. You'll meet Julio. Julio is smooth.
Uh and he's an alcoholic just like I am. So there's being uncomfortable around not getting along well, being socially awkward does not make you an alcoholic. No, none of that makes you an alcoholic.
What makes me an alcoholic was that when I took that first drink at 11:00 and that was a little late in my family according to my brother at least. Um when I took that first drink in me and and and and suddenly, you know, all it didn't make me smart. It didn't make me any smarter.
It didn't make me actually get along with you anymore. What it made for me is it didn't matter that I didn't get along with you anymore. I really didn't care so much.
And and and the first time I remember feeling that effect, we were actually at a uh a wedding. My cousin was getting married in England. We happened to go to the reception.
We uh at this wedding reception was a pub in in London and they would they let us have the kids have uh chandies and it then it was half beer, half ginger ale. I actually for the very first time, I don't know if you've seen this, I it was just like in the past week, I've seen an advertisement on the TV for a Chandandy uh beer and and lemonade. But anyway, I'm just reminiscing.
Uh I had so they let us drink these. They let us, you know, and it was like my first real exposure to to having a few of these and and only half beer and half uh uh um ginger ale, but if you have a few of those, you start to feel it. And then my brother, my older brother, he's about a year and a half older than me.
Uh, I followed him up and we we went out the window, a third floor window of this this pub in London and we started roof hopping across London. And my brother told me, "Alcohol takes away your fear." And and here we are having an adventure uh taking away my fear and and I I'm terrified of most everything, but most of all, I'm terrified of looking bad. I'm terrified of you finding out that what's in here is really broken and how different I am than all of you.
And here I am. It's taken away my fear. We're hopping across the rooftops.
We get back to the pub. Nothing nothing bad happened. We get back to the pub and my mom's found out that we've done this and she's furious and uh and she gets mad at my brother and uh you can see the smile on my face.
It was great. Uh I mean alcohol you you takes away your fear. You have an adventure and your brother gets in trouble.
Uh you know that in in short order that's a lot of the first part of my talk. Uh that's that's what my drinking was like. uh you know I I I was the lost child in a lot of ways.
I would have happily dove into that bottle. Uh not much is going to happen too much in my drinking because I was going for oblivion and I often reached there. Um I always wanted to maintain that front because I wanted you to think good about me.
So I kind of had this dual thing going on. Um you know I went back to went back to Texas. I started going back to to school.
I was actually going to a new school then at turned 12. Uh but the problem was even though I was at a new school, I I had made a new friend. I never never had more than one friend at a time, but I made a new friend and uh I'm doing things.
I'd also discovered alcohol. And so it was slow at first, but then by the that time that year was out, I'd gotten rid of that friend because he didn't drink. Uh I was I was still going to school, but I was now seeking out interactions with people who would get me uh drunk, get me contact with alcohol.
Uh, and so the first time I can remember being restless, irritable, and discontent is when I was 13 and I was scrambling to get drunk that weekend. Uh, and you have to scramble and if you develop certain skills as a 13-year-old trying to get alcohol and I was putting all those skills in there and I was, you know, trying to make phone calls somehow somebody to get me drunk that weekend and it wasn't happening. And I got and and it was first time that I remember uh being associated with alcohol that restless, irritable and discontent.
And it wasn't that the fact that I could have alcohol. It was the fact that I couldn't have alcohol that weekend. And that was just you know that was the end of the world.
That was the true with most things at 13 of course is most things are the end of the world. But um I was in I started high school and what happened was at least for me the it always progressed. I always had a level where anybody who drank during the school nights had a problem and I only drank on weekends and then I was drinking on week nights as well but it was okay.
Anybody who drank during school had a problem and I'm only doing at nights and weekends. And uh when I started doing it at uh drinking during the day sometimes it was like okay anybody who did these outside issues uh drugs uh they were the ones with the problems. And uh and let me tell you the first time I had real contact with drugs.
I I started to hang around this guy. I was 14. hang around this guy, other guy named Andrew because I knew that if I hung around him, his brother would buy us alcohol and we'd get we'd get drunk.
And so, sure enough, I arranged a sleepover at his house. Um, and his brother bought us some beer. Then we got into his dad's liquor cabinet.
And uh and I'm just walking across his his kitchen and and thinking that, you know, what's going on inside of me is so much more important than than anything else out there. And it's I I'm loving it. Life is life is good.
I don't care that I'm I'm not popular. I'm not I'm not smooth. I'm not who athletic.
None of those things. Life is good because of the effect that alcohol has happened on me. And that's so much more important than anything else going on in the world.
Uh and uh a little later my friend passed out and threw up and we his brother and I cleaned it up and he took out some some uh dope and started smoking it. He he asked if I wanted any. I said no.
He passed it to me and I started smoking it. Uh that's about as well as I said no to anything before I got to Alcoholics Anonymous. Um you know and and I'm here I I often times say I'm one of the luckiest people in the world.
And one of the reasons why I'm I'm I'm so lucky I think is because of another member of Alcoholics Anonymous. At that time I happened to be working and my brother both had me working for a guy. It turns out he was from Minnesota.
Guy named Tom S. He was living in Austin, Texas, and we were both working for him. You have to work.
If you're 13 and 14 and you want alcohol, you need money. So, you need a job. And so, I had a job working for this guy.
U we made little glass ornaments wrapped in lead. And uh and it turns out this guy was in in AA and sober. And my brother made the mistake, my brother at that time was 16.
Um my brother made the mistake of talking to him about his drinking. And that was a mistake. uh cuz this guy related to my brother and what they did with my brother at least is this guy arranged with my parents to do an intervention.
They did an intervention on my brother. Uh they they sent him off to a treatment center in Minnesota. Uh he scared the counselors.
They sent him back. He made a deal with my parents to go to AA and uh and and he could stay at home. And what I learned about AA through my brother indirectly through this whole thing was that AA was a place where drunks got together to commiserate in between getting drunk.
That was his take on it at the time. And my take on this whole thing was you don't talk to Tom about your drinking. That was what I got out of this whole thing is uh cuz I'm still keeping up that front.
And and it it's great to have a brother like like the one I had because he always set the bar so low that I could always, you know, it's like lim limbo but opposite. He set the bar so low I could always get over it. Uh you know even towards the end um you know one of the times the first time I tried to uh to quit briefly not let's not get too serious about this uh but just to prove I'm not an alcoholic when I was 16.
Uh there's something wrong there even you're saying that when you're 16 you're trying to prove you're not an alcoholic. Anyway, I tried to go for uh uh for two weeks without any alcohol or other stuff. Um you know, my my family was going on this vacation.
And what had sparked this was that I had gone to see my brother um two times two in a row in jail. Uh the first day right after he turned himself in and he's tough. The second day they wouldn't let me see him.
you know, I'm going back and they wouldn't let me see him and everybody else has gone in to see their person and I'm waiting there and uh and finally a psychiatrist gets in there and he comes talk to me and he wants to know what state I'm in and he said, "You know what?" I was like, "What's going on?" And they let me back there and he's in a suicide watch because he's finally coming down off everything he's done to turn himself in because he's realizing at age 18 he's going away to prison. And it's not if, it's just a matter of how long. Uh, and I'm going in there to see him and I'm seeing that and I'm thinking, you know, this is me.
This is my path. this is my future. Only there's still that part of me says, "But that's him.
That's that's not me." And at that time, I'm drinking every day. Uh it's summer, of course, so you can drink all day long every day. It's wonderful.
Um so I decide, okay, two weeks. My family's going on this trip. Um and I managed to make it two weeks with one one beer.
And during that trip though, my mom who had had just enough alan at the time to be dangerous, just not. She confronts me and she begs me. She says, "I know what you've been doing.
I know the drinking and the and the drugs." And she says, "Please, please stop." And he said, "I don't want to lose another son, you know, and I don't know about you, but of course, this is all about me." And I said, "I'm not like him." And I wasn't ready. And it was just like, "I don't have a problem. I'm not in prison." Uh, you know, as again, it's an easy bar to step over if you're not in prison.
And uh so I got back and of course as soon as I got back I I'd shown two weeks, one beer, that doesn't really count. Uh that you're not an alcoholic. And so I was right back to it and I and I started doing it even more.
And uh um you know, all this time I'm managing to to keep up the front. Uh and I'm drinking every day now. Uh I'm doing all sorts of other stuff along the way.
And uh and I'm going off to college now. And I'm still doing the same thing. And every day uh uh I'm I'm doing this and I'm and I'm starting to see the cracks between what I'm I'm trying to show people and what I'm really doing that that that dual life is not so dual as I would like to think it anymore.
And uh and the other problem is is for me is that towards the end of my drinking I'm drinking and doing other stuff just to feel close to normal again. I'm stopping. You know, before it was always it was to get high, to get that to that place where nothing else mattered.
And now I'm I'm just getting trying to get to the place where it doesn't suck quite as much anymore. And it's a different feeling trying to get back just to normal rather than to get to that other place. And that's that's my using now.
And I can't I'm not thinking about quitting, don't get me wrong. Uh but I'm doing that every day. And uh and what happens was the following is that uh when I'm off to college, I'm I'm going off to college on a scholarship.
Again, I had I had a mind that I occasionally put to good use. Um I'm off to college on a scholarship, but I couldn't do it. I I couldn't go to, you know, showing up to class was often times too much uh requirement because it got in the way of my drinking and and I'm I'm I'm about to to uh fail out of of college and and I'm I'm thinking of suicidal thoughts all the time and I end up um trying to drop out really late.
So, they have to go to the psychiatrist and I go to the psychiatrist. This is what my you know, this is what good friends are for. One of the guys I've been drinking with told me, "Well, you just go up there.
You talk to them about your drinking and they'll let you out on a health withdrawal to avoid failing out. And I did that and uh you know if you ever think about uh give a give Terry a plug here sponsoring a professional. This is this is a psychiatrist I went to see and he knew enough about treatment and about alcoholics anonymous and he said he said you can have a medical withdrawal.
After I told him a little bit about it, it wasn't too truthful, but I told him a little bit about what I've been doing. And he said, "You can have a medical withdrawal, but he said, "If you ever want to come back to this university, you're going to go get treatment cuz you need help." I was like, "Wait a minute. My friend didn't tell me that was part of the deal." And I was uh I just want to, you know, skate out of this.
Uh and so um we had some negotiations with my parents. I ended up going a into a my brother at the time had been led out of jail to go into an inpatient treatment program. I ended up going the compromise was to an outpatient treatment program and in the meantime I had a couple weeks before then I tried to quit again and what scared me this time is I couldn't you know I couldn't uh and I got the first time and this is part of what I what I really identified when I got to a because you know I'm thinking okay I'm trying to prove that I'm not an alcoholic and of course the first time I tried to hang around the same people that didn't work uh the next time uh I wasn't doing too much of that.
But I ended up being around this one guy who I didn't really like so much. And he calls me into a bathroom. And I don't know about you guys, but this was in the 80s, early 80s.
In the early ' 80s, if another guy calls in the bathroom, there's only one thing that's going to happen. And he kind of lays out some lines. And I'm not thinking I don't do that kind of stuff.
That was never my drug of choice. I like I like alcohol and other things. I'm not thinking I'm trying to prove that I'm not an alcoholic.
what goes through my mind. My best thinking at the time was you don't turn down cocaine. That was my best thinking at the time.
And so I did it. And the next thing that went through my mind is you've blown it now. You might as well make it a good one.
Let's start drinking. Uh and so I did. I started drinking.
And uh and it was it was again and so when I went eventually went to this out ofatient treatment program, I had just enough experience there to realize a couple things. is that if something doesn't change, I'm going to drink again. And if I drink again, I'm going to get drunk.
Uh when you took away the alcohol for me, you're taking away my solution. You know, when when I finally started reading the big book and I got to that chapter, there is a solution. I thought they were talking more about alcohol.
Uh there is a solution. It's called alcohol. And it had worked so well for me.
And you're taking away that away. And you're leaving me now with no barrier between me and you. Um you know I so related to what Teresa said about not being present the only thing difference was is I was seeking to not be present in my life is I was seeking that out.
I wanted not to be present and you take away the alcohol and suddenly I have to be present. Uh this is not what I had bargained for. And so if if something didn't change I was going to drink again.
I had no idea what needed to change. Uh and if I drank again I was going to get drunk. And that gave me a little bit of willingness out of the whole you know I blacked out on occasion.
I could tell you some of my more memorable blackouts, but they would be secondhand o rec occurrences because I wasn't there for them. Uh I was there in body but not in mind but people would tell me about them later. And uh but towards the end of my drinking it I I lived in a gray out and I don't know I don't hear too many people talk about this but I could sometimes tell you what happened but I couldn't really put much of a timeline on it or who you know some people were there some people not who knew.
Uh yeah. So out of that fog came this realization. I'm I'm going off to treatment and I'm realizing that something needs to change and and I'm scared to death and I'm 17 and I'm you know I'm a in my minds I'm a failure.
Um and they introduced me in treatment to the steps of Alcoholics Anonymous. And they started talking about what it's like to be an alcoholic. And I introduced this idea of being powerless over alcohol and my life is unmanageable.
And I was on board with the second part of that. Uh I was ready to admit my life was unmanageable. I didn't want to be there.
I uh none of this was was how I had scripted it out. Uh you know that that insanity to me um though that did kick in when I started talking about the insanity. The insanity was that I would say I had all these ideals and goals and what I would do instead was go drink.
Uh you know I said I want to do really well in school and I want to you to think I'm smart. Um but I would go drink and it didn't matter. Everything else came second.
I would even think about, you know, what I wanted in life was to be as messed up as possible and still be able to function. Uh that was my goal. I was using that was what my mind was being used for at the time.
Uh you know, sometimes the first goal overwhelmed, the second just being messed up as possible. And you're taking away the alcohol and I'm in this treatment and how was that idea to being powerless over alcohol? That's at least at the time as a 17-year-old.
It's not language I used in association with myself. I didn't think of being powerless over anything, let alone alcohol. It was the one thing I still thought I did really well is I could drink with anybody.
Uh and I would be happy to drink with anybody. Uh and so being powerless over alcohol, but then I realized after reading that section in the big book, it says if you have any doubt about whether you're an alcoholic or not, go out and try some controlled drinking. You know, it's right there.
It's not like are you debating? Well, go do it. And it was like, I don't need to go.
I know what's going to happen. If you if you put some alcohol in me, I know what's going to happen. I'm going to want more and uh I'm going to get drunk because that's what I do.
And it was like, oh. And it was something hit me. If if nothing changes, I'm going to drink again.
And if I drink again, I'm going to get drunk and I'm going to go right back to what I had before. They used to talk a lot about to drink is to die. And and I first part of me, of course, the mind of course it's a wonderful thing.
wanted to bargain was like, "How long, you know, is it going to be the is it going to be nice, beautiful, flame out death? Okay, I'm on board. Let's go." Uh, or is it going to be the next 10 years of more of the same?
And that's what scared me. Not the dying. There's the 10 years of living that miserable life uh of not wanting to be I never wanted to be in my own skin, but despising myself at the same time as not wanting to be in my own skin.
And so I had a little bit of willingness and I got through that first step of of realizing that that alcohol owned me when I when I drank I wanted more. I'm the kind of guy when I came to in the morning I'm I'm checking out which beer cans had a little bit in it making sure I didn't get the one that was a spatoon and trying to find the one that was still half full so I could have a little more. Uh you know everybody else has gone to bed.
I'm still doing things like trying to find a little more to smoke, a little more to drink. uh you know uh cuz I always wanted more. So I'm I'm I'm in AA.
Everybody's old. Uh at least it seemed at the time when I first went there, you know, even in treatment, I think the next youngest person was in their late 20s. Um and he was the one guy I identified with.
And of course, his idea was this is all very nice for you guys. You got a nice little program, but I'm not having any of it. And I identified with him.
And I it was so clear to me he was going to go right back to it and I didn't want that to happen. And uh and instead I started going to AA meetings. I went to the same meeting every day because I saw the same people there.
Uh and and you know first I I still had a crazy mind. I for a while I I tried to figure out who was really in charge at that at that meeting. I don't know if you ever done that at your home group.
You try to figure out who's really in charge. Uh but that's one of the things I spent my time doing at that meeting. But at least I was at that meeting.
I still had a crazy mind. It still would tell me I'm too young. I'm too smart.
I'm too anything. So, it's okay to go drink again. You know, part of me wanted that that release.
Uh but part of me wanted a little bit more of what you guys had. I I didn't know if I wanted what you guys had, but I I knew I didn't want what I had. Uh I knew I didn't want what I had.
And so, I kept coming back and and it was slow because the assession of the mind was still there. You know, we' kind of gotten a few months in removal of the the physical craving, but the obsession of the mind was still there and it's still going 90 miles an hour. And I and I started to learn though that I could go to these meetings and I could listen and I said, "Wait a minute.
I just had 10 or 20 minutes where I wasn't just thinking about me and just thinking about how life is is miserable because my life is miserable." um you know that that wonderful one of the most wonderful things the freedom I've gotten in Alcoholics Anonymous is from the fact that realizing that my success or failure doesn't end the world you know and that's I don't know about you guys but that is to me such a huge thing the only reason I'm able to get up here is because of realizing that and if you got me when I first came in here the fact that whether I was a good speaker or not would have been so crippling that I couldn't have said two words up here and now you guys have had a lot of good speakers. Uh you guys, you know, if you guys already got your money's worth and so whether or not I Yeah, I'm a good speaker is pretty irrelevant at this point. And uh you know, and it's such a gift.
And uh and I kept on coming back and and for me at least, I'm so grateful that that that wanting more works in AA as well. I got a few days which were just okay and didn't suck anymore and I wanted more. And then I got a little bit of, well, that was a that was a good day.
And I wanted more. And I kept on coming back. And I kept on doing more of the step work, you know, more of the step work.
Um, I'm just going to I still got a lot of service stuff to talk about. So, I want to um talk a little bit more of the steps in me, at least for me. Um, you know, I talked about those two parents uh that both very Catholic, very involved uh in the Catholic church and doing stuff like that.
and they'd had these two alcoholics thrown in them. Um, and I remember trying to make amends uh to making amends to my mom was actually easy. Uh, and I did that and and it was a continual amends over many many years after that.
It was, you know, making that first thing talking to her. But then one of the the things that the sponsors really hammered to me is those types of amends. You h what's it like to be a good son?
You know, and that's a new thing to you. It was it to me at least. What's it, you know, how do you think about that?
what's how am I going to be a good son and then take those actions, you know, and that that was the amends. It was not that one little thing. It was the amends over a lifetime.
Um, but I want to talk about my dad because that one for me was a huge amends. Uh, because I had a lot of resentment of my dad. It was it was I love it.
I think somebody said this non-emotive type. Uh, my dad was British, stiff upper lip, uh, don't show anything. I think it was his mother that that was so proud of the fact that she had never praised any of her children.
Didn't want to spoil him. Uh, you know, that was that was, you know, and so he was doing a pretty good job with the skills that he had been given. Uh, but for me, I had a lot of resentments because he wasn't American, you know.
Uh, I who knows it was it was all sorts of different resentments and we did not have a close relationship. But one of the things I had to learn was was to in order to me to make amends to him was I had to change my attitude towards him. I had to uh in my heart forgive him just for not being who he want I wanted him to be having all these expectations.
This was all in me in my head. And then I could treat him differently and not have all these expectations. Why aren't you all these things that I want you to be?
And then my sponsor said, "Okay, now you follow through with that. how can you connect with your dad on his terms, not yours? And so we could talk science and we could talk sports.
And I don't know about you, but that was a start. So I talked to my dad about science and I talked to my dad about sports. Um, and you know, we we built a relationship on that.
I'm not ever going to tell you my dad was was was uh we had a close bond that way, but I had it I got to the time where I could love my dad and see him for the complete human being he was in good and the bad, you know, and and uh and I got that call a couple years ago. It was it was it was 5 months after losing my mom, got the call that my dad had the heart attack. This is this is this is the style my dad, you know, he a lot of good health for many many years.
He's just he's lost his wife five months before. He's starting to feel some chest pains. He finally goes to the doctor because he almost never went to the doctor.
He has an appointment to see the cardiologist Friday morning. Then finally, because his doctor says, "You need to see the cardiologist." Friday morning comes, he's having a heart attack and he doesn't feel well enough to go to the doctor, but he doesn't want to call anybody to bother anybody for a while. So, he waits three hours uh after he's having a heart attack.
He waits three hours. I guess he's assuming he's going to get better and finally he calls the ambulance and by that time they took him in uh but it's too late. They put tried to put some stints in but too much damage has been done in those three hours.
Um I get the call. I come down from Montana to back to Austin, Texas. Uh my wife is already there.
It's another story. Um, so we go to the we go to the hospital and you know and being able to say to my dad that I love him and you know and it's okay you know you can let go now and I don't know if he and he heard me. I think he did because he was he was already you know they were had him on life support then and they were able to let him go.
Uh but that's that's a gift from Alcoholics Anonymous and that's a gift I can never repay. um because my life was going a complete different way and I wanted nothing to do with my parents, nothing to do with my dad. I resented them and and from that you guys have given me that relationship with my father and uh and if I get nothing else out of this, I'm so grateful to that.
Um so how did I get involved in uh we'll change course here. How did I get involved in service and this whole idea? Because I came to that first, like I say, first convention, not realizing that there was all these people, you know, all the people with ribbons on that had done all this work to put it on.
I just went because it happened to be in my town and I wanted to hear some good speakers. They had told me were going to be there. And uh uh I think the first my first service position, by the way, was self-appointed.
Uh, I had I had done things like picked up ashtrays business back in the day. Still a lot of smoking groups. But my first service position was I went back to the health center at the university in Austin.
And I said, I'm sober now. I have like nine months and uh and if you need any contact for anybody else who needs to go to AA, you can call me. And they said, thank you.
Uh, don't call us. We'll call you. Uh, I had no idea about if there was a service structure.
There might have been treat treatment people going in already doing this stuff. I had no idea. I was just self-appointed.
Uh but I I started to get slowly involved. I had a sponsor at the time said, "While you're in school, why don't you look for commitments like answering the phone at intergroup?" Started doing that. Look for commitments where you could do he says the other stuff, the general service stuff, you'll have time for that later.
And so I said, "Okay." Um I moved. I went off to, you know, I found that I went eventually went back to school. And the surprising thing about school is if you apply the principles of Alcoholics Anonymous in school.
Here's a hint. You can do pretty good. If you learn to suit up, show up, and do what's asked of you, good things happen.
Uh, you know, that was that was a revelation to me to actually show up. I didn't always practice that early on in sobriety in classes. You know, when I went back to school, I had to learn that to show up to classes.
That was not my motus operandi. I was usually too cool or trying to be too cool. I was never cool.
Uh but trying to learn to go back to classes and show up and you know suit up and do what's asked of me and good things happened. And so I graduated, went off to graduate school in San Diego, California. And there I got a new sponsor and uh when my home group in San Diego had an opening for a GSR.
I could not have told you what a GSR was, but he said and he somehow knew. It wasn't his home group, but he somehow knew my home group was having an uh, you know, needed a new GSR. He says, "Why don't you stand for that?" And I'd learned enough at that point, I'd gotten enough good things from AA that whenever my sponsor said something like that, I said, "Okay." You know, and then eventually I found out what what the heck's a general service representative, a GSR, from my group.
And I got to go to district meetings and learn a little bit about that. And then I got to go to some quarterly area assemblies in San Diego, Imperial County area, and I got to learn about that. And I'm not saying that I jumped right in.
Um, but what I did learn was there's a lot of people doing a lot of things in in AA so that we can make sure that AA keeps going, you know, and and I got to look outside of my home group a little bit for that first time when I was a general service representative just a little bit because I'd always said I go to my home group and, you know, I'll participate in my home group in that service. Well, eventually it came for me at least that that wasn't enough. that that wasn't enough.
Um, I moved a couple more times after getting another degree and I ended up in, of all places, Missoula, Montana. And I remember going out there. Um, I I went out there for a job interview.
The guy picked me up at the airport uh to do the interview and he said, "You look awful." Uh, and he says, "Are you know, have you been getting enough sleep?" And I was like, "Really?" The answer is, "No, I've been working pretty hard then." Uh, and he says, then he he's driving me. He says, "I better take you to the hotel. You can take a nap before you meet everybody else." And he says, "By the way, the other guy who who interviewed the other just before me is the front runner.
Uh, not me." Uh, and then I go and I uh and I'm I'm I'm walking to get out. He he comes back after I take my nap and he comes picks me up and takes me back to the department to meet everybody there. And I slip on the ice because this is Montana.
Uh, and I slip on the ice and I'm I'm, you know, I scrape my knee and then my my it's got a little dirt and blood on my on my pants there and I'm meeting now I'm going to go meet everybody. Uh, and despite all this, they hired me. So, you know, if it was meant to be, it's meant to be.
And and and that's one of the things I've learned to do is sometimes just get out of the way and it's okay, you know. And I got out of the way and I and and we moved to Montana. My wife and I moved to Montana.
Um, and in Montana shortly after there, I got to be a general service representative for the second time cuz my home group needed it. And I didn't know you weren't supposed to be a GSR for for twice, but I did it anyway. And uh, and then next thing I knew, I was the alternate DCM and then DCM.
And what what are these things? District committee member, alternate district committee member. And these are just you know when groups have to decide something which affects the groups in the area they get together in a district and they get to make these choices about you know should we print a schedule or is that done in intergroup sometimes it's intergroup wraps doing that it's different things in different places but sometimes we have to get together sometimes it's not just my insular home group I love my home group I'll tell you a little bit about the no-name group in a little bit but sometimes it's good to see beyond that and uh when groups get together and have to decide what do we want do for matters affecting outside my group and this is what we do first in district and then I got to go in Montana is an area wonderful thing we have 93 different areas across the US and Canada and Montana most of Montana it's area 40 except for a little bit up by Libby the northwest little corner they go off to uh eastern Washington but most of us in Montana and we we get together twice a year we have these weekendl long events it's actually kind of like this, but you got to scale it back.
This is Montana. Uh, so it's about 150 US drive from all over. For from us in in in Missoula, it's about a 5-h hour drive to Lewistown, Montana.
And the first time I went out there as a GSR, and there's about 150 of us or so there, that's including guests and everybody else and people off fishing. Uh, 150 of us there. And we we're thinking about, you know, matters affecting A as a whole.
And this is the first time I'm thinking about really matters affecting A as a whole. What is that? And some of it's silly stuff and some of it's important stuff and I have no idea which is which at first.
It all seems crazy and I'm even thinking why do we have to get together for a whole weekend? Can't we do this in one afternoon? Uh and I'm learning and and I slowly learn about why we do that and why we get into that and and the surprising thing for me at least is that I learned that I got just like everything else I get so much benefit out of being involved in service.
uh I get so much benefit. I am again I'm somebody who doesn't get along well with other people who's awkward socially and instead what I'm doing is I'm getting trained in AA as to how to how to show up and how to talk with others about alcoholics anonymous and about matters affecting AA and it's like oh I can do that I can talk about AA because I like talking about AA uh and that's an easy you know and then then keep on doing a little bit more and what I found was eventually I got got a uh service position uh as delegate. Right now, the delegate for southern Minnesota is my friend Terry there.
Uh and I got to be delegate for Area 40 Montana. There's another past delegate here. I think she's right over there, Carol B from Montana as well.
There's tons of past delegates in here. Um, and it was an amazing experience for me at least going to a general service conference which happens once a year in New York and it's delegates from across all of the US in Canada as well as I found out some staff members who work at the general service office in New York who work for the AA grapevine. It's in a little nice little magazine.
If you haven't if you want to ask me about it, ask me about this pink tag here. uh and and also I got to meet some trustees and one of them happened to be my sponsor at the time as well. So I got to know a little bit more about that as well.
Uh some general service board trustees and some non-rustee directors and there's all these different people doing service for Alcoholics Anonymous. And you find out that that of all the the people who are doing the delegates, the the trustees and so on, none of them are getting paid for this. This is just again another form of service, you know, and and the most important thing for me is not just the fact that I want to make sure in my home group that if a new person comes in, they're welcomed and they're, you know, they're showed the the message of hope of Alcoholics Anonymous.
I want to make sure that also we don't screw this up so that 10 years, 20 years down, 30 years down, there's also home groups around that. message of Alcoholics Anonymous is still being passed from one alcoholic to another. You know, I I'm real clear on that is that general service office, general service board, we do not pass the message like that.
That message is still being passed from one alcoholic to another. It's passed in your home group. It's passed when you do 12step calls.
Passed and we do 12step calls. I still get to do that. It's a lot of fun.
So what we do at the general service office is just make sure is how can we provide service to you. You know what is it? That's what that's the one primary function of the general service board is is to be of service to the fellowship of alcoholics anonymous.
And if we're not doing that, we're not doing our job. That's that's a wonderful thing to think about. Um after being delegate and being out for a couple years, it got an opportunity.
We're have an election for the West Central Region. The west central region includes all the way from Minnesota go over through the Dakotas to Montana down to Wyoming, Nebraska up to Iowa, and now you're back again to Minnesota. And it's eight different areas because we split Minnesota into two.
There's so many of you out here. Uh, and it's those eight areas which make up the West Central region. They were having an election and I put my name forward and I I had to talk about it with my wife first and and and I had to ask Sherry because she'd been through this when I was a delegate that some of my time got taken up being a service and I love this stuff now.
I'm I'm a service junkie. I'll admit it. Uh you know, again, it's it's that part of me that says a little bit of this gives me little something good.
I want more. Uh and I love this and I'm getting so much out of this. But I had to ask her, "Is it okay?" And she said, "Go for it." And I had to I had to uh go to my boss and I had to say, "Uh, I'm an alcoholic, number one." Uh, he didn't know that.
And I said, "I'm an alcoholic. I've been involved in service. It was a new boss for me." And I had a little tell him about I'm about to stand for this position that will require some amount of my time, a lot of weekends and other stuff.
And uh we talked about a little about it. He said, "Go for it." And so I did. And uh it was I got to hear about the the wonderful way we do elections in our if you never been to a business meeting where they're doing a third legacy election.
I highly recommend it. They're a wonderful thing. Uh because simple majority is not enough.
A simple majority is not enough. It doesn't matter. They always have to have uh at least uh substantial unonymity two/3s for these third legacy elections.
And what happens if it doesn't have substantial unonymity? We do it again. And we do it again.
And we do up to five ballots trying to do this to get it. And it turned out for that election that got me to be trustee. There was not only that the top person, but there was also two runners up that were tied.
And so what do you do after five of these ballots where you still can't figure out anybody? Nobody's got substantial unonyimity. You put all the names.
Three names went in the basket and my name came out. And it's just that, you know, and we have a a wealth of people, I think, that are are talented and uh and and trained through this service structure that would do an excellent job of being a trustee. But I got to I've given this this wonderful opportunity to be a trustee for these four years.
And it's just my rotation. Uh it's a double rotation. Most most service positions are two years.
It takes us a little while to get up to speed and and be of of service, I guess. So, they're giving us four years. So for the for the I'm one year in for the next three three years this past year I get to be of service to Alcoholics Anonymous and uh my debt is still so so big to AA because I keep getting more out every time I come back and do a little more service.
I get more out of this and I get more out and I'm coming back. So I'm going to keep coming back. I'm going to keep being involved.
One of the things I hope for myself is that I never get to that point where uh uh uh you know I take the attitude of I've got mine because the reality is today if you will if you ask me how my life is today I've got a wonderful life um you know that wets suit one of one of my hobbies I got a lot of hobbies uh that wet suit is actually for triathlons uh I decided you know not being an athlete that I wanted to try triathlons so about five years ago I started doing triathlons Uh the only tourist I'm competing against is myself. Uh my one goal is to try to finish. And so last year I I moved up.
I tried for the very first time an Olympic length uh triathlon. And it's an open water swim, my first open water swim. And I'm out there.
I'm I'm getting out there and all these other people around me have wet suits except for me. Uh and we're getting into a lake in Montana. This is August, but still it's Montana.
Uh we're getting into a Flathead lake and we're going to swim. uh uh 1.5 kilometers and I'm like okay here we go and uh you know and and doing those those things is like like being in service and being in recovery. I find that if I just keep following my instructions and uh and I swim along you know I've been I've been trained to do this to swim along and eventually bike and eventually run but the swim is the most important one because that's when we don't want to drown.
Uh, and I do that in service and I and I keep doing the same things and I ask my friends for help. There's actually people in kayaks out there on the lake and they occasionally had to, you know, I'm swimming along and and I would veer off to the right. Apparently, I have a slice in my swim.
Uh, and they would tell me, you got to go back this way a little bit. And uh, and you guys are are that for me. Other people involved in service are that for me as well.
And I and we do that for each other. We kind of guide ourselves back on track. and and that is so important to me.
Um, so I've had this privilege uh and like I say, I'm loving it. Uh, we I' I've probably been to New York now over the past year, seven, eight times. I'm in in uh Minneapolis now for the second time.
Uh, I flew in uh January for the r for the recovery unity service conference. That's an excellent conference down in Rochester in Jan first weekend in January. You guys are so uh I love that loving invitation to come visit us in January in Minnesota.
Uh but it was an awesome conference and I love the fact that you blend together recovery, unity and service because for me at least those things are so important. You know, I love that recovery that was saved my life. Uh it allowed me to exist with without alcohol.
Uh because when I first got here, I could not imagine a life without alcohol and I couldn't imagine it being possible for me to live a happy life without alcohol. That was just unbelievable, you know, and that's the recovery part. And the unity part is the fact that we can somehow get along.
uh and uh and I always think of a uh that that thing we get off path but occasionally those traditions have to bring us back online you know and that's and the service part um and this is one of the things is having a sponsor who has done all these things before me makes it so I'm just following I'm just doing what my sponsor did and I'm just doing what my sponsor did and and that makes it okay uh you know one of the things we pass on the reason that made it possible for me to go through the steps is working with somebody else who'd gone through the steps and I did what he told me he had done and that made it possible. And it's the same thing in in service work. I'm doing what he did.
You know, he said, "Why don't you stand for that?" Okay. Make myself available to Alcoholics Anonymous. You know, um some people worry, well, if you're going to do that kind of work, you have to be retired.
I'm not retired. I have a wonderful full job. Uh sometimes twofold, my wife says.
Uh I have a wonderful job that I love. I've spent a lot of time at that and I still find time for this. I still find time to do the occasional triathlon.
Probably not as many as I would have done last year. Um, but I have time for that. You know, God makes the time.
That's the one thing I've found is that is that having that connection to higher power, I don't have to worry about the outcome. I don't have to worry about the results. I just have to do my footwork.
you know that that part of that that another part of that freeing essence that alcoholics is anonymous has given me is having that connection and leaving those results up to God. Now I'm not here to being of service. I don't have to fix aa I don't have to save a I don't do any of those things.
That's God. Uh God does those things. All I have to be of service to Alcoholics Anonymous.
And so serving on the general service board of Alcoholics Anonymous, that's my task is to be of service to you. Uh, I just rotated on as a secondary assignment to aa Grapevine. That's our magazine in print.
Uh, it's a wonderful little thing. Uh, and some people like it, some people don't. I love it.
And I love it. Not, you know, I don't necessarily like all the articles in there, but I remember when I first started going to meetings and they said, "If you like everything you hear in Alcoholics Anonymous, you're not going to enough meetings." And I kind of feel the same way. >> >> If you like everything you read in in the AA Grapevine, you're not reading enough articles.
Uh, and that may be a strange thing to to hear from a newly elected AA Grapevine board member. But I'm just saying it's not going to be perfect because this is our shared experience. This is not a group of writers they've hired in New York.
This is all of us contributing articles to the AA Grapevine. So this is our meeting in print and I hope it and the one of the main reasons I hope it doesn't die out because if you wonder where we got the traditions the traditions of Alcoholics Anonymous, how did Bill come up with those and how did he eventually get Alcoholic Anonymous to buy into those traditions? He wrote article after article uh in the grapevine telling people about what are these traditions, how did they come about, you know, why did our experience lead us to these traditions of Alcoholics Anonymous?
And he did that through the grapevine. That was his voice to the fellowship at the time. And if you've ever got a chance to read the language of the heart, it's a just a it's it's a lot of fun reading that book and reading Bill's writings about their traditions and how he had to sell.
Bill is definitely a salesman. How he had to sell those traditions to the fellowship. And now we now we hold on to those traditions so tight sometimes, but Bill had to had to sell them to the fellowship.
So, um, last couple things for me. Uh, and this is I want to plug the West Central Regional forum. Uh, and why do I want to plug this form?
Because it's going to be in this hotel. Uh, it's a my first as a trustee uh, as a regional trustee in my the West Central Regional. This happens every two years.
It rotates. So, this is going to be 16 years ago. You got to go back to last time it was in southern Minnesota.
There's eight areas in a region. Each one gets it every other year. So, it's 16 years.
That's a long time. So, it's a big event. It's going to be in this hotel.
And what's going to happen is some of the the uh other general service board members like myself will be here. Some of the staff members from the general service office, some of the staff members from AA Grapevine will be here. And it's just a chance for you to interact and see what your group contributions, what your individual member contributions contribute to.
And the whole idea is just how can we be better of service to you, you know, in service to the fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous. And I love that dialogue to happen. And that's a forums is a part of where that dialogue happens.
So I hope you guys September 6th through 8th you're going to save the date. We also got a bunch of these flyers outside if you want to register. I don't know how much you paid for the register for this conference, but that conference is free.
There's no cost to the registration and you can meet the general service off uh uh the manager of the general service office. You can meet the chair of the general service board. They'll be here.
I'll be here. We'll be having a good time because we'll be alcoholics talking about alcoholics anonymous. And I love that.
Uh as I said, I'm a service junkie. I love that. Uh so if you ever want to talk about AA with me, come do that.
I I like to do that. Uh I love it. Now, the other thing that I was going to give my friends here, uh, a a plug, um, there's all sorts of service opportunities from the from the group level on up.
But one of the things that really I think um that I love and that's this uh institutional service because uh taking meetings into places and whether that's in a treatment facility or correctional facility, sometimes they don't have a meet. If we don't go in, they don't have a meeting. And I don't know about you guys, if you if I got to my home group and they told me, 'Well, so and so is not here, so you're not having a meeting tonight.
Imagine what your reaction would be if you went to your home group and they said, "So and so didn't show up. No meeting tonight. See you." Uh, and so sometimes institutional meetings are that way.
We have to go in order for them to have a meeting. And that's an amazing piece of service. And the other one, um, is this corrections correspondence.
And this is people uh who were incarcerated who would like to correspond with another member of Alcoholics Anonymous. And I've been doing this for a little while. And sometimes it's great.
Sometimes it's they get resentments and they stop writing you. Uh it's I'm it's like working with newcomers. I'm not going to tell you everyone works out because if you've worked with newcomers and everyone has stayed sober and worked out, I'll go back.
You're probably not working with enough newcomers. Uh and it's the same thing. But they need people these these want to write to some people and they want to write to an member of Alcoholics Anonymous and talk about AA and what it's like to stay sober.
And if you're in Alcoholics Anonymous, you want I don't know about I can't write about you can write about your experience staying sober. That's the one thing that I was guaranteed when I got this program is if I'm up at the mic sharing about my experience, that's what I've got. You know, I think uh the speakers yesterday said that is I've got no one else's experience to share with you other than my own.
And that's what all of you have as well. So anybody could be a correspondent because you have experience staying sober in Alcoholics Anonymous. And that's experience you can share with somebody who's trying to do that on the inside and it's a little more difficult there.
So uh they have a bunch of people ready to sign you up. Uh I don't see James at the back of the room. There's James and Mary.
There's they're over there. James and Mary will be happy to sign you up after this uh and be corrections correspondent. If it doesn't work out, that's okay.
again. Uh, but the idea is to try to get more people writing because they need, especially guys, usually there's more guys incarcerated that want to try to get sober and they need your help. Uh, I think I've gone on long enough.
I don't really know. Nobody really told me how long I was supposed to speak. Uh, and I've just given you a glimpse, I think, just a glimpse of what I've gotten out of sobriety and I've gotten out of being a service.
I really think I am one of the luckiest people in the world. Uh, and I, you know, I got problems in my life. I've I've I've gone all through this stuff, but I've got so much out of AA.
I came to AA wanting a little less pain in my life. Uh, wanting to get rid of that raw feeling, the feeling like my my skin was inside out in anybody, any interaction I had. And I got so much more.
Uh, and and I've gotten not only out of working the steps, but out of being involved in service. And so, I'm going to keep giving back because you guys have just given so much to me. And I want to thank you for your time today.
>> Thank you for listening to Sober Sunrise. If you enjoyed today's episode, please give it a thumbs up as it will help share the message. Until next time, have a great day.